Steven Seagal
27-05-2012, 05:50 PM
Howdy People,
This is another review of Twee-see not Twee-see (Tracey)
This is a tale of a punt with two distinct aspects.
You know, life is very much like a ‘good news/bad news’ scenario. Some examples are :
• A doctor goes to the patient’s hospital bed and says:
Doctor: I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?
Patient: I’ll take the bad new first.
Doctor: The bad news is we had to cut both our feet off.”
Patient: Oh my God! What’s the good news?
Doctor: The bloke in the bed next to you wants to buy your slippers.
Same doctor goes to the next bed.
Doctor: Same deal as the other guy. Good news, bad news, which you want first?
Patient #2: Same as the other guy. Give me the bad news.
Doctor: I was supposed to cut off your right leg, but fucked up and cut off the left instead.
Patient#2: What on earth could be the good news?
Doctor: Your right leg’s getting better.
I’ve had similar stuff happen to me. When I got wounded in Vietnam I wound up in Camp Zama Japan and had a plate inserted where my knee cap had been and a smart arse army surgeon engaged me in the following conversation;
Doctor: Well, Lt. Seagal I’ve had to put a plate where your knee cap used to be and it’ll hurt like the dickens for life.
Seagal: Oh my God. This is terrible!
Doctor: Every dark cloud has a silver lining Lieutenant.
Seagal: And that silver lining is what?
Doctor: You’ve been awarded a Purple Heart which is worth about 80c on the open market.
Seagal: Can you do me a personal favour Doc?
Doctor: Sure. What is it?
Seagal: Go fuck your stupid self!
It hasn’t all been bad though. In high school I had a big crush on Julie Hoffman. I got the courage to ask her out and was surprised when she said yes. At this time I had just learned to drive and couldn’t drive worth a shit. I would cut the corners too close and go up on the curb barely missing telegraph poles, forget to signal and threatened to get into head on smashes. If it wasn’t for God or plain idiots’ luck I wouldn’t be here to write this.
At any rate, on our one and only date, I approached some lights with Julie sitting close to me. The lights turned yellow and I slammed on the breaks. Julie’s head went slightly forward and the following conversation occurred:
Seagal: Sorry about that Julie.
Julie: Sorry? Are you trying to wreck my good looks?
Seagal: Of course not.
Julie: My looks are precious to me. I am a real looker.
Seagal: Yeah.
Julie: I am a looker. Ugly people like you can’t appreciate the importance of good looks.
Seagal: Yes Julie you are hot and you’re something else.Julie: . . .and what’s that?
Seagal: The arrogant cunt I’m taking home as soon as I turn this crate around.
I ran into her on the street 15 years later and those ‘good looks’ had evaporated. She had become a real ‘10 Tonne Tessie’ who looked like she’s lived at the pig farm sharing the slops with the hogs. And me? How do I look? Well, with my hair full of Grecian 2000 hair dye, my Lowes $180 leather jacket and my $50 Converse shoes, I actually look great when the light strikes me from a certain angle. So, you see, it’s all good!
In terms of punting, prior to this punt my punting was characterised by good news and bad news.
When I first went to Bellevue I say Lisa as a regular and she provided a really good service. One day when I dropped by and she wasn’t there I selected Vicky. Now Vicky did everything under the sun and threw in anal at no extra cost. I became a Vicky regular and Lisa had the shits with me.
The good news here was that enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh with Vicky on numerous occasions.
The bad news is karma caught up with me. Lisa started bad mouthing me in the back room and Vicky took me for granted. Vicky started taking calls while in the middle of me screwing her in the arse. This annoyed me, but I thought I’d put up with it. Finally she talked to a bloke and told him she’d see him in 10 minutes. While she said this I noted that we still had 25 minutes of our one hour session remaining. Did she care? Nope, she took off 15 minutes early. I had my shower and went down stairs and told the boss Tom I had the shits with Vicky. He went upstairs where she was fucking another punter, dragged her out of the room and I confronted her, on what was MY time, about how she deserted me and short changed me. This was in front of all the other girls at the joint and trust me, I was persona non grata after that folks. The good news was I got the ‘better’ Vicky over Lisa and the bad news was I burned my bridges at 12 Bellevue. (The last time I went there the line-up consisted of Apple who will see me because she knows I have put up with her starfish in the past with no complaints.0
This brings us to Twee-see, I mean Tracey.
I actually waited for her for 15 minutes. When she arrived she looked heavier than I remembered, but her d-cups were still in evidence.
Into the room she insisted on washing me and insisted it be thorough. So much for a 15 minute wash aft over a dollar a minute!
Before anything happened the FOAM began in spades. She say my pathetic little cock and moaned, she looked at my geriatric body and sighed in passion. As she sucked there were constant sounds emanating from her gob.
FOAM by itself is bad enough, but when you add to the fact it was really loud it makes it embarrassing and I know the other wl’s were thinking it was funny.
Twee-see is NOT a good actress and it was so distracting and insulting that she thought I’d believe it. It has all the plausibility of Craig Thomson’s conspiracy story.
The final straw is she always claims virtually no English, yet the following discussion occurred:
Steven: I think next time I’ll have a double with you and Lisa.
Twee-see: That would be really good. I like doubles.
Steven: Your English is pretty good!
Twee-see: Sorry, I don’t understand. No English.
So there you have it.
Her service is not bad, but the poor acting and loud FOAM and the suspicion that her English is better than she lets on means I won’t be back.
I suggest you see her once as it is fun to say Twee-see and hear her say it too. That alone, is worth the price of admission.
Next review is Monica at 269 Canterbury Rd.
Till then,
Steven
This is another review of Twee-see not Twee-see (Tracey)
This is a tale of a punt with two distinct aspects.
You know, life is very much like a ‘good news/bad news’ scenario. Some examples are :
• A doctor goes to the patient’s hospital bed and says:
Doctor: I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?
Patient: I’ll take the bad new first.
Doctor: The bad news is we had to cut both our feet off.”
Patient: Oh my God! What’s the good news?
Doctor: The bloke in the bed next to you wants to buy your slippers.
Same doctor goes to the next bed.
Doctor: Same deal as the other guy. Good news, bad news, which you want first?
Patient #2: Same as the other guy. Give me the bad news.
Doctor: I was supposed to cut off your right leg, but fucked up and cut off the left instead.
Patient#2: What on earth could be the good news?
Doctor: Your right leg’s getting better.
I’ve had similar stuff happen to me. When I got wounded in Vietnam I wound up in Camp Zama Japan and had a plate inserted where my knee cap had been and a smart arse army surgeon engaged me in the following conversation;
Doctor: Well, Lt. Seagal I’ve had to put a plate where your knee cap used to be and it’ll hurt like the dickens for life.
Seagal: Oh my God. This is terrible!
Doctor: Every dark cloud has a silver lining Lieutenant.
Seagal: And that silver lining is what?
Doctor: You’ve been awarded a Purple Heart which is worth about 80c on the open market.
Seagal: Can you do me a personal favour Doc?
Doctor: Sure. What is it?
Seagal: Go fuck your stupid self!
It hasn’t all been bad though. In high school I had a big crush on Julie Hoffman. I got the courage to ask her out and was surprised when she said yes. At this time I had just learned to drive and couldn’t drive worth a shit. I would cut the corners too close and go up on the curb barely missing telegraph poles, forget to signal and threatened to get into head on smashes. If it wasn’t for God or plain idiots’ luck I wouldn’t be here to write this.
At any rate, on our one and only date, I approached some lights with Julie sitting close to me. The lights turned yellow and I slammed on the breaks. Julie’s head went slightly forward and the following conversation occurred:
Seagal: Sorry about that Julie.
Julie: Sorry? Are you trying to wreck my good looks?
Seagal: Of course not.
Julie: My looks are precious to me. I am a real looker.
Seagal: Yeah.
Julie: I am a looker. Ugly people like you can’t appreciate the importance of good looks.
Seagal: Yes Julie you are hot and you’re something else.Julie: . . .and what’s that?
Seagal: The arrogant cunt I’m taking home as soon as I turn this crate around.
I ran into her on the street 15 years later and those ‘good looks’ had evaporated. She had become a real ‘10 Tonne Tessie’ who looked like she’s lived at the pig farm sharing the slops with the hogs. And me? How do I look? Well, with my hair full of Grecian 2000 hair dye, my Lowes $180 leather jacket and my $50 Converse shoes, I actually look great when the light strikes me from a certain angle. So, you see, it’s all good!
In terms of punting, prior to this punt my punting was characterised by good news and bad news.
When I first went to Bellevue I say Lisa as a regular and she provided a really good service. One day when I dropped by and she wasn’t there I selected Vicky. Now Vicky did everything under the sun and threw in anal at no extra cost. I became a Vicky regular and Lisa had the shits with me.
The good news here was that enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh with Vicky on numerous occasions.
The bad news is karma caught up with me. Lisa started bad mouthing me in the back room and Vicky took me for granted. Vicky started taking calls while in the middle of me screwing her in the arse. This annoyed me, but I thought I’d put up with it. Finally she talked to a bloke and told him she’d see him in 10 minutes. While she said this I noted that we still had 25 minutes of our one hour session remaining. Did she care? Nope, she took off 15 minutes early. I had my shower and went down stairs and told the boss Tom I had the shits with Vicky. He went upstairs where she was fucking another punter, dragged her out of the room and I confronted her, on what was MY time, about how she deserted me and short changed me. This was in front of all the other girls at the joint and trust me, I was persona non grata after that folks. The good news was I got the ‘better’ Vicky over Lisa and the bad news was I burned my bridges at 12 Bellevue. (The last time I went there the line-up consisted of Apple who will see me because she knows I have put up with her starfish in the past with no complaints.0
This brings us to Twee-see, I mean Tracey.
I actually waited for her for 15 minutes. When she arrived she looked heavier than I remembered, but her d-cups were still in evidence.
Into the room she insisted on washing me and insisted it be thorough. So much for a 15 minute wash aft over a dollar a minute!
Before anything happened the FOAM began in spades. She say my pathetic little cock and moaned, she looked at my geriatric body and sighed in passion. As she sucked there were constant sounds emanating from her gob.
FOAM by itself is bad enough, but when you add to the fact it was really loud it makes it embarrassing and I know the other wl’s were thinking it was funny.
Twee-see is NOT a good actress and it was so distracting and insulting that she thought I’d believe it. It has all the plausibility of Craig Thomson’s conspiracy story.
The final straw is she always claims virtually no English, yet the following discussion occurred:
Steven: I think next time I’ll have a double with you and Lisa.
Twee-see: That would be really good. I like doubles.
Steven: Your English is pretty good!
Twee-see: Sorry, I don’t understand. No English.
So there you have it.
Her service is not bad, but the poor acting and loud FOAM and the suspicion that her English is better than she lets on means I won’t be back.
I suggest you see her once as it is fun to say Twee-see and hear her say it too. That alone, is worth the price of admission.
Next review is Monica at 269 Canterbury Rd.
Till then,
Steven