Amusing Jinglish, Chinglish, ...

[Bracket]

Sometimes I can't help but laugh at some Jinglish, Chinglish etc. things that WLs say. I'm not laughing at the ladies themselves, because however rudimentary their English might be, it's miles better than my Cantonese, Japanese, Korean, Mandarin etc. But what's lost in translation sometimes makes my experience more enjoyable and memorable.

The latest one to catch my eye was in this ad (http://cracker.com.au/sydney-inner-sydney-2000/erotic/escorts-adult-services/yumiko-sexy-sweetheart-new-in-town-available-for-ltlt-incall-outcall-to-hotel-200-gtgt/403833355/advert.htm?advertcategory=79&sortfield=1&search=true&region=3&return=1&pageno=1) that appeared in Cracker today. Here's the relevant section :

Hi my name is YUMIKO 24 year old C cup , beauty and elegance is intoxicating inviting you to my world one fill with erotic fantasies intense sensuality first class service. No rust session & professional - body massage plus you'll wanna see and meet me I can guarantee you won't regret call...........

A "no rust session" - at first I thought it must be for those guys with dicks of steel who worry about corrosion! Then I worked out she must have meant "No rushed session".

Any others, guys?

[8inches]

no rusty taste while daty?

[Sextus]

I enjoy Yamada's threads alot. You can see what he means eventually, though some things sound right out there and can't be figured out, but it is fun trying. Some things he writes sound so abstract and unexpected, it is like you are tripping! ie, they'd make perfect sense if you were tripping!

[mkko2]

Yamada insists he is not japanese, but he sure writes like one

[Sergaent Brody]

Yamada san also insists that he has tits ... in one form or another ... and he (or she) washes them quite regularly

[Licker]

Sometimes I can't help but laugh at some Jinglish, Chinglish etc. things that WLs say.
Any others, guys?

Well, this is not what a WL said, but...

I once had some really good Beijing duck in a Chinese restaurant. Truly excellent.

But before I saw the dish in front of me and tasted it, I was not 100% sure what I had ordered, as the English translation on the menu said:
"Breast of a dick".:burn:

[8inches]

Yamada insists he is not japanese, but he sure writes like one

Japanese are usually intelligent
So it's believable

[Rocket Man]

Yamada I think you should ban 8inches for false advertising

[cassius]

Do you think Yamada is Markk Latham?

[8inches]

Do you think Yamada is Markk Latham?

Only Rocket man knows the answer

[Rocket Man]

8inches, girls talk and they tell me you are only 7.75 inches. tich, tich

[mkko2]

8 inches - that's a midget

[Rocket Man]

8 inches - that's a midget

Yeh I've seen clitorises bigger than that.

[Sextus]

Yamada san also insists that he has tits ... in one form or another ... and he (or she) washes them quite regularly

That is just one of those funny mis-translations that happen with Yamada. He is one of this forum's characters.

Ok, he bumps up his TMC threads a lot, but in his original posts, when he makes them, he is a funny guy. He is unique on this forum.

For example, he wanted to say

"This guy's a cunt."

but what he said was

"How cunt you are."

:shout:

I'll forgive a thousand bumped up threads to enjoy original humour like that.

And remember, if we all attempted Japanese, we'd have him laughing too.

[mkko2]

That is just one of those funny mis-translations that happen with Yamada. He is one of this forum's characters.

Ok, he bumps up his TMC threads a lot, but in his original posts, when he makes them, he is a funny guy. He is unique on this forum.

For example, he wanted to say

"This guys a cunt."

but what he said was

"How cunt you are."

:shout:

I'll forgive a thousand bumped up threads to enjoy original humour like that.

And remember, if we all attempted Japanese, we'd have him laughing too. He is a colourful character.


exactly, this is why i suspect he is Japanese, because his writing style is very similar to how a Japanese would write and think.... putting the verb at the end of stuff like that...
though he insists he is not Japanese

[8inches]

What difference does it make where he is from?

[Sextus]

Well, he said he worked for a big company and mkko2 suggested it was the Yamaguichi-gumi or toa-kai and Yamada was keen to distance himself from them by denying he is Japanese.

Who cares (if so) anyway?

He is bringing out hot and willing Japanese girls for clients who love them.

His business is beauty.

Just like an artist's is.

(If I made a commitment not to punt anywhere else for three weeks, I could justify seeing one of his girls.)

[Sextus]

Well, here are some funny translations from around the world!

Cocktail lounge, Norway:

Ladies are Requested Not to have Children in the Bar.

At a Budapest zoo:

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

Hotel, Acapulco:

The Manager has Personally Passed All the Water Served Here.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:

"When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."

On an Athi River highway:

TAKE NOTICE: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:

Guests are requested NOT to smoke or do other disgusting behaviors in bed.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

Hotel elevator, Paris:

Please leave your values at the front desk.

Hotel, Japan:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.


Athens hotel:

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.


:shout:

[mkko2]

Well, he said he worked for a big company and mkko2 suggested it was the Yamaguichi-gumi or toa-kai and Yamada was keen to distance himself from them by denying he is Japanese.

Who cares (if so) anyway?

He is bringing out hot and willing Japanese girls for clients who love them.

His business is beauty.

Just like an artist's is.

(If I made a commitment not to punt anywhere else for three weeks, I could justify seeing one of his girls.)

agree.. its not an issue where he is from....
he provides good girls and that's that, we are all friendly with him...

but if he is japanese and works for a big company to source pretty japanese girls to australia, then perhaps he works for a gumi or kai.
if he is not japanese, but speaks japanese or is a zainichi or gaijin who lived in japan, then perhaps he also works for a gumi or kai.

he is not japanese and does not speak japanese - then he is not affiliated to any gumi or kai in japan.
but he still works for an organization that sources hot japanese girls to australia

[Licker]

Well, here are some funny translations from around the world!

Cocktail lounge, Norway:

Ladies are Requested Not to have Children in the Bar.

At a Budapest zoo:

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

Hotel, Acapulco:

The Manager has Personally Passed All the Water Served Here.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:

"When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."

On an Athi River highway:

TAKE NOTICE: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:

Guests are requested NOT to smoke or do other disgusting behaviors in bed.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

Hotel elevator, Paris:

Please leave your values at the front desk.

Hotel, Japan:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.


Athens hotel:

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.


:shout:

Sextus, Mate!

At first I thought you had been reading one of the best books on English language by David Crystal called - surprisingly: "The English Language".
Why so? Because the first quote (below) is also in that book as an example of common mistakes that non-native English speakers would do.

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
Ladies are Requested Not to have Children in the Bar.

Now, I cannot remember any of the other ones you quote as being in the book, so obviously you have a different source, or my memory has deteriorated rapidly due to too much punting (or wine).

I do remember that the following quote was in the book, only slightly different.

Hotel, Acapulco:
The Manager has Personally Passed All the Water Served Here.

In Crystal's book it was:
A sign in a hotel room in Greece:
"All water in this hotel has been passed by the management"

They must drink a lot of beer, don't you think?

Now, I have always thought a world of Crystal's books. They are very entertaining, yet extremely educational.
But now seeing your quotes I have started wondering. Are these quotes real?
Or have they been created by clever native English speakers for the purpose of either entertainment or education?
Or is it a case of Chinese whispers, where the quote is actually true, but it changes a bit as it travels?

As someone who speaks English as a foreign language (Crystal in his books calls it a second language, but for me it would be the third) I have always been intrigued and fascinated of the complexity and poetic beauty of English (though it's complexity is minuscule compared to my mother tongue).

And I truly appreciate so many people on this forum, for whom English is a foreign language, trying to communicate with it.

As far as Mr. Yamada goes: I love his comments, but hate the spamming. I think he would do better off by posting a roster update in the roster section.
I can't say where he is from, as his posts often look like they are copied from Google translator, so who knows where he is from.
Those who think he is Japanese, because the verb in some of the sentences is at the end... A news flash... Japanese is not the only language with that characteristic.

----
Just to end this rant on a positive note, I leave you with a quote from the aforementioned book by David Crystal.


A sign in a Hong Kong tailor shop:
"Ladies may have a fit upstairs"

And I am quite sure, that quite a few of them had when they saw the price tag.
And if they didn't, their husbands or boyfriends did :)

[tonyphil55]

There is a web site www.engrish.com with lots of examples of this type.

[Sextus]

As someone who speaks English as a foreign language I have always been intrigued and fascinated of the complexity and poetic beauty of English (though it's complexity is minuscule compared to my mother tongue).

And I truly appreciate so many people on this forum, for whom English is a foreign language, trying to communicate with it.

Yes, it is sometimes quite creative actually, like a form of obscure poetry. In a similar way, I saw a doco on David Bowie once, and to get ideas for certain lyrics he whas cutting up passages of words and pucking words out randomly to see if the connections worked for him.

You speak English, not as a foreign language, but 100% fluently and expressively. Ok, you'd be as good with your mother tongue (which is?) but what is the other one you speak / write with?

[PunterBoy]

Dude, sometimes I can't understand what the ladies say and that's even WITHOUT my filthy cock in their mouth!

I'm an immigrant myself and understand how challenging it can be when English is your 2nd or even 3rd language. Still I can't stop laughing with some Chinese ML starts a conversation : "Uuhh you big boy, me likey come bigtime ahh yeah".

It's sort of cute. And sort of annoying that you can't have deeper conversations.
Once a hooker asked me after a massage : "You like cock in pussy?" LOL!!