Funniest punting incident

[PunterGhost]

Keen to hear any funny experiences from the bros here in the forum.

I went for a massage as shoulders were really sore in one of those shopping center massage places. Booked for an hour and paid the gap post healthcare rebate. Asked the ML to just focus on upper body (and kept my pants on).

Around the 30 min mark - she asked me if I was ‘depressed’ and I thought she was trying to make conversation so I went ‘nah - life’s good!’ and then things went quiet. It’s only when I walked out that I connected the dots…. 😂

Is that code for Part 2 (or 3 even)?

[asiafever]

I've told this story before, but it will be hard for me to ever top.
In Melbourne, felt the urge, looked up some privates and made contact with someone working out of Lonsdale st. Established time and price and arrived as agreed... Holy fuck, every Asian student in Melbourne is waiting in the foyer... I look horrendously out of place as a mid-forties cauc male.
Buzz the apartment, go up in lift and head to the room number.
Door opens to reveal a young cute Chinese girl who looks nothing like the pics... but that's fine because she is well cute.
Head off to the room to discover her English and my Mandarin are on par. Zero.
Google translate helps us establish what I had agreed to by text. She had no idea at all. Anyway agreement reached and we start undressing. I notice she has gone really shy. I stripped off like a pro and was totally naked while she was still struggling with her socks. I was already getting hard and she looked up and her jaw hit the ground. She didn't know where to look. I lay down on the bed and she lay next to me, like a statue. It was at this point I knew something was up. Back to Google translate.
I asked what was up, she replied "first time." I assumed it meant first customer.
I decide to ease tension with a massage. I give her a gentle massage for 5 mins, then she indicates she will do for me. After a while I turn over, and she is just staring at my fully erect cock. Like it was alive or something.
I take her hand and put it on my dick, so she starts grabbing It, moving It, inspecting it. Bizarre.
I get her to look up and we start kissing, and she starts giving the most amateur wank of my life. She had no clue. We kissed more and I started sucking her tits when there's a knock at the bedroom door. Another older girl comes in who looks more like the pics. She asks my name and I realise she is the person from the messages. She asks if I want to change. At this point I wanted to see what was going to happen so decline. "She not working girl. She my cousin." No shit she's not a working girl!
I ask if she's ok to keep going, she agrees, and now the cousin wants to stay and watch! My girl isn't comfortable with that and so the real wl leaves, but gives me some food for thought "Be careful, I think she virgin.."
Whadafuq?
Door closes and now my conscience is involved. How old is she? Is this right? She starts back kissing gently like a teenager and I am both highly aroused and quite concerned.
Google translate time.
"How old are You?"
"19."
Phew.
"Are you a virgin?"
She is not impressed with this question. I need to explain. "Other girl said so."
She laughed but still didn't answer.
Back to kissing and terrible but arousing hj, I had laughed at the absurdity of what was happening here a few times but now I needed it to reach conclusion. I grabbed the condom and put it on, she looked worried. At this point I probably would have gone a hj just to get it done. I grab the phone one more time.
"If you don't want to it's ok." I typed.
She shook her head and replied she was too nervous. I said that was fine, I could finish myself if she could help. I started wanking while she kissed me and grabbed my hand/dick. I was getting close, then she stopped, grabbed a condom, put it on, lubed It, then jumped on for the ending! She was very tight and as I was already close it really didn't take long for me to cum.
She had no idea how to clean up so I did it all, we got dressed as time was over, and went to the door. As we walked in to the living room there were actually 3 other people there. It seems we had a little audience. I wasn't going to hang around any longer, it was already absurd enough. I said goodbye and left, still not knowing what happened.
I went back to Melbourne a few weeks later but alas the number was disconnected and the ads gone. Yes I was thinking of seeing if she was still there, as terrible as it was it was also arousing.

[Meng]

I think there was a similar thread before but here's what I wrote in the last one. Still by far my most embarassing.

This was when I saw Mimi doing private. Booked her and as I've never seen her ever in the shops I didn't know what she looked like. Turned up at the apartment and waited a while. Not sure who I was expecting to come down to get me so I was on the look out for a Asian girl loitering in the lobby. There just so happen to be this hot long haired Asian girl in a suit who looked like she was on her phone and looking for someone. So I casually walked up to her. We made eye contact and she said my name. I was like Yea! She's hot. We walked into the lift and she gave me her card and that was when I realised I made a mistake. She was a real estate agent lol!

It was too late then and I ended up going up and checking out the apartment and then the actual person she was suppose to meet called. We kinda looked at each other funny and I was like we must both have the same name and looking at apartments. Finally went down and found the real mimi then we got in the lift together with the real estate agent and her actual client it was super awkward.

[asiafever]

I think there was a similar thread before but here's what I wrote in the last one. Still by far my most embarassing.

This was when I saw Mimi doing private. Booked her and as I've never seen her ever in the shops I didn't know what she looked like. Turned up at the apartment and waited a while. Not sure who I was expecting to come down to get me so I was on the look out for a Asian girl loitering in the lobby. There just so happen to be this hot long haired Asian girl in a suit who looked like she was on her phone and looking for someone. So I casually walked up to her. We made eye contact and she said my name. I was like Yea! She's hot. We walked into the lift and she gave me her card and that was when I realised I made a mistake. She was a real estate agent lol!

It was too late then and I ended up going up and checking out the apartment and then the actual person she was suppose to meet called. We kinda looked at each other funny and I was like we must both have the same name and looking at apartments. Finally went down and found the real mimi then we got in the lift together with the real estate agent and her actual client it was super awkward.

Haha that's gold! Love it.

[Rogeryou]

Posted this months ago when it went down

Met this 22yo Asian sugar baby asked me to come over her house as her parents were away.

Rocked up said we could use her brothers room because hers was a mess.
I pulled the old dog out she was impressed. She said I could fuck her bare back and blow inside, awesome.
Pushed in and wow it was sweet and tight, she went off like a rocket.
Asked if I could film she said yes, sent a small segment to one of the bros that comes on here.

I look over to the dressing table as I was destroying her pussy and saw a police ID. Blow a fucking massive load filled her box. As I pulled out the entire load covers the policeman’s bed who is her brother.
Told me it was the best fuck she ever had and that her boy friend can’t her like that.

Told her I could give her 300 OR I can smash her regular for 100. So took the 100 option and I fuck her when our planets align.

My only issue is her pussy is way to small and tight, she gets me super excited I get stupid and destroy her which she loves and my cock is ruined for 5 days.

Missus is going away this weekend doing her over night.

[Stefana]

I've told this story before, but it will be hard for me to ever top.
In Melbourne, felt the urge, looked up some privates and made contact with someone working out of Lonsdale st. Established time and price and arrived as agreed... Holy fuck, every Asian student in Melbourne is waiting in the foyer... I look horrendously out of place as a mid-forties cauc male.
Buzz the apartment, go up in lift and head to the room number.
Door opens to reveal a young cute Chinese girl who looks nothing like the pics... but that's fine because she is well cute.
Head off to the room to discover her English and my Mandarin are on par. Zero.
Google translate helps us establish what I had agreed to by text. She had no idea at all. Anyway agreement reached and we start undressing. I notice she has gone really shy. I stripped off like a pro and was totally naked while she was still struggling with her socks. I was already getting hard and she looked up and her jaw hit the ground. She didn't know where to look. I lay down on the bed and she lay next to me, like a statue. It was at this point I knew something was up. Back to Google translate.
I asked what was up, she replied "first time." I assumed it meant first customer.
I decide to ease tension with a massage. I give her a gentle massage for 5 mins, then she indicates she will do for me. After a while I turn over, and she is just staring at my fully erect cock. Like it was alive or something.
I take her hand and put it on my dick, so she starts grabbing It, moving It, inspecting it. Bizarre.
I get her to look up and we start kissing, and she starts giving the most amateur wank of my life. She had no clue. We kissed more and I started sucking her tits when there's a knock at the bedroom door. Another older girl comes in who looks more like the pics. She asks my name and I realise she is the person from the messages. She asks if I want to change. At this point I wanted to see what was going to happen so decline. "She not working girl. She my cousin." No shit she's not a working girl!
I ask if she's ok to keep going, she agrees, and now the cousin wants to stay and watch! My girl isn't comfortable with that and so the real wl leaves, but gives me some food for thought "Be careful, I think she virgin.."
Whadafuq?
Door closes and now my conscience is involved. How old is she? Is this right? She starts back kissing gently like a teenager and I am both highly aroused and quite concerned.
Google translate time.
"How old are You?"
"19."
Phew.
"Are you a virgin?"
She is not impressed with this question. I need to explain. "Other girl said so."
She laughed but still didn't answer.
Back to kissing and terrible but arousing hj, I had laughed at the absurdity of what was happening here a few times but now I needed it to reach conclusion. I grabbed the condom and put it on, she looked worried. At this point I probably would have gone a hj just to get it done. I grab the phone one more time.
"If you don't want to it's ok." I typed.
She shook her head and replied she was too nervous. I said that was fine, I could finish myself if she could help. I started wanking while she kissed me and grabbed my hand/dick. I was getting close, then she stopped, grabbed a condom, put it on, lubed It, then jumped on for the ending! She was very tight and as I was already close it really didn't take long for me to cum.
She had no idea how to clean up so I did it all, we got dressed as time was over, and went to the door. As we walked in to the living room there were actually 3 other people there. It seems we had a little audience. I wasn't going to hang around any longer, it was already absurd enough. I said goodbye and left, still not knowing what happened.
I went back to Melbourne a few weeks later but alas the number was disconnected and the ads gone. Yes I was thinking of seeing if she was still there, as terrible as it was it was also arousing.

That is definitely an unique experience you had there

[jamesjj]

I had a great session with a gal and asked her if she wanted to join me for dinner, as she'd finished her shift. So we drove to a restaurant of her choice.
I found a parking spot and was trying to read the many signs to make sure I was parking legally and said, "I think I'm ok to go here."
I didn't notice the neon sign for a brothel behind the parking sign but she did and said, "What, wasn't I enough? I thought you were taking me to dinner but you just want to go to another brothel. Just come back to my place if you're still horny." After much laughter I explained what I meant and we went for a meal as planned.

[rooter]

That an ugly fat old cunt like me can fuck thousands of young cute pretty girls just by handing over a few hundred bucks coupled with the fact that money means nothing to me is fucking hilarious. It makes me laugh every fucking time. I am handing over something that's worthless to me to get something that's priceless to me. That's something worthy of another verse in Alanis' Ironic song.

[LuvAsianPuss]

These stories are priceless, so funny. I've only ever had one funny occurence happen to me on a punt. We were just getting down to the deed and was just about to slip into her lovely little pussy when all of a sudden two legs of the bed broke off and threw us onto the floor. The bed hit the floor with a loud thud and the receptionist and 2 other girls came running into the room to see what happened. There I was flat on my back on the floor with a now deflating erection and 4 women laughing at me. Never went back to that place.

[PunterGhost]

I've told this story before, but it will be hard for me to ever top.
In Melbourne, felt the urge, looked up some privates and made contact with someone working out of Lonsdale st. Established time and price and arrived as agreed... Holy fuck, every Asian student in Melbourne is waiting in the foyer... I look horrendously out of place as a mid-forties cauc male.
Buzz the apartment, go up in lift and head to the room number.
Door opens to reveal a young cute Chinese girl who looks nothing like the pics... but that's fine because she is well cute.
Head off to the room to discover her English and my Mandarin are on par. Zero.
Google translate helps us establish what I had agreed to by text. She had no idea at all. Anyway agreement reached and we start undressing. I notice she has gone really shy. I stripped off like a pro and was totally naked while she was still struggling with her socks. I was already getting hard and she looked up and her jaw hit the ground. She didn't know where to look. I lay down on the bed and she lay next to me, like a statue. It was at this point I knew something was up. Back to Google translate.
I asked what was up, she replied "first time." I assumed it meant first customer.
I decide to ease tension with a massage. I give her a gentle massage for 5 mins, then she indicates she will do for me. After a while I turn over, and she is just staring at my fully erect cock. Like it was alive or something.
I take her hand and put it on my dick, so she starts grabbing It, moving It, inspecting it. Bizarre.
I get her to look up and we start kissing, and she starts giving the most amateur wank of my life. She had no clue. We kissed more and I started sucking her tits when there's a knock at the bedroom door. Another older girl comes in who looks more like the pics. She asks my name and I realise she is the person from the messages. She asks if I want to change. At this point I wanted to see what was going to happen so decline. "She not working girl. She my cousin." No shit she's not a working girl!
I ask if she's ok to keep going, she agrees, and now the cousin wants to stay and watch! My girl isn't comfortable with that and so the real wl leaves, but gives me some food for thought "Be careful, I think she virgin.."
Whadafuq?
Door closes and now my conscience is involved. How old is she? Is this right? She starts back kissing gently like a teenager and I am both highly aroused and quite concerned.
Google translate time.
"How old are You?"
"19."
Phew.
"Are you a virgin?"
She is not impressed with this question. I need to explain. "Other girl said so."
She laughed but still didn't answer.
Back to kissing and terrible but arousing hj, I had laughed at the absurdity of what was happening here a few times but now I needed it to reach conclusion. I grabbed the condom and put it on, she looked worried. At this point I probably would have gone a hj just to get it done. I grab the phone one more time.
"If you don't want to it's ok." I typed.
She shook her head and replied she was too nervous. I said that was fine, I could finish myself if she could help. I started wanking while she kissed me and grabbed my hand/dick. I was getting close, then she stopped, grabbed a condom, put it on, lubed It, then jumped on for the ending! She was very tight and as I was already close it really didn't take long for me to cum.
She had no idea how to clean up so I did it all, we got dressed as time was over, and went to the door. As we walked in to the living room there were actually 3 other people there. It seems we had a little audience. I wasn't going to hang around any longer, it was already absurd enough. I said goodbye and left, still not knowing what happened.
I went back to Melbourne a few weeks later but alas the number was disconnected and the ads gone. Yes I was thinking of seeing if she was still there, as terrible as it was it was also arousing.

Holy s…. what a great story. Not sure what the WL was thinking getting her cousin involved

[PunterGhost]

I think there was a similar thread before but here's what I wrote in the last one. Still by far my most embarassing.

This was when I saw Mimi doing private. Booked her and as I've never seen her ever in the shops I didn't know what she looked like. Turned up at the apartment and waited a while. Not sure who I was expecting to come down to get me so I was on the look out for a Asian girl loitering in the lobby. There just so happen to be this hot long haired Asian girl in a suit who looked like she was on her phone and looking for someone. So I casually walked up to her. We made eye contact and she said my name. I was like Yea! She's hot. We walked into the lift and she gave me her card and that was when I realised I made a mistake. She was a real estate agent lol!

It was too late then and I ended up going up and checking out the apartment and then the actual person she was suppose to meet called. We kinda looked at each other funny and I was like we must both have the same name and looking at apartments. Finally went down and found the real mimi then we got in the lift together with the real estate agent and her actual client it was super awkward.

This is bloody gold!!!
That would have been a long trip in the elevator

[PunterGhost]

These stories made my day!
Thank you bros!

[Bredandwine]

I had a great session with a gal and asked her if she wanted to join me for dinner, as she'd finished her shift. So we drove to a restaurant of her choice.
I found a parking spot and was trying to read the many signs to make sure I was parking legally and said, "I think I'm ok to go here."
I didn't notice the neon sign for a brothel behind the parking sign but she did and said, "What, wasn't I enough? I thought you were taking me to dinner but you just want to go to another brothel. Just come back to my place if you're still horny." After much laughter I explained what I meant and we went for a meal as planned.

Interested to see what the dynamic is like here haha. Have you visited her outside of working hours? and are you guys "friends" now? Nice to see that some people can maintain a healthy relationship with a ML/WL

[FatStache]

As we walked in to the living room there were actually 3 other people there. It seems we had a little audience.

I bet that crowd will be re-telling that story for years to come. Absolute cracker of a yarn.
Can't believe her cousin wanted to watch! I'll never understand Chinese chicks.

My funniest memory doesn't compare to the posts in this thread but might as well share it. A few years back at Chatswood60, I was having a NYE sesh with K Sue. We were having fun and lost track of time, so we heard management knocking on the door.
Sue just kept moaning louder to drown out the knocking, until management called out her name through the door. She walked us both over to the door with me still inside her, opened it up to the 2 managers and just pounded on my dick and moaned whenever they tried telling her to finish up.

The look on the managers' face was priceless. A combination of embarrassment, amusement and exasperation at the shenanigans.

After leaving I saw our session went 40 mins over lol.

[Funtwo]

First time at Ginza, I had a few drinks so obviously wasn't completely sober. Girl hands me a shot, and I down it like a champ and it looked like she was downing the shot too but she spat it out. I was confused. She was laughing. Asked me why I just drank the mouth wash.

[jamesjj]

Interested to see what the dynamic is like here haha. Have you visited her outside of working hours? and are you guys "friends" now? Nice to see that some people can maintain a healthy relationship with a ML/WL

This was the first time we'd met and we really hit it off, just wanted to continue the conversation. We're now good friends and we only catch up away from the shop these days.

[Budgyboy]

That an ugly fat old cunt like me can fuck thousands of young cute pretty girls just by handing over a few hundred bucks coupled with the fact that money means nothing to me is fucking hilarious. It makes me laugh every fucking time. I am handing over something that's worthless to me to get something that's priceless to me. That's something worthy of another verse in Alanis' Ironic song.
We must be the same person but split in two rooter, I too hand over a couple of hundred without a second thought and fuck the cutest little Asian girls that I would normally have no chance with or the desire to even attempt to chase. Me being older, fatter balder than the boy band Asian boys these girls love but still getting to fuck them is a delight in my life. I laugh my way home after my sessions everytime. Stop at the pub get a meal, couple beers and home to you tube and comfy bed, life's good.

[GoldfishMan]

I've got a few LOL moments, in retrospect of course!

One time I was really distracted by a lot of things, was having a smoke break with a cute little Taiwanese colleague. Suddenly got the urge to book a girl at Ginza so, while this chatterbox of a girl was prattling away at me, I whipped out my phone and typed "Hi, I'd like to book XXX at 6pm please", and hit Send. Immediately after hitting send, I realised my mistake: I'd sent the fooking message to the Taiwanese chick standing right in front of me!!

FMD, I immediately broke out in a cold sweat, but I managed to keep calm. I said to her "hey babe, are you uaing the new iPhone? Can I have a look at it?". She's passes it to me (I know, very gullible!), I take it from her with trembling hands and start working the menus to try to delete the message. She instantly realises what I was trying to do and tries to get her phone back... So I ran away and she was chasing me around the courtyard of the office trying to get her phone back, lol!!
I managed to delete it and then gave her some stupid excuse about accidentally sending a booty-call message meant for another girl to her.

Another funny one. I was completely buggered from a few long days at work and went to the Korean MP next to 1 Blackburn St. After the hot session, I just put on my t-shirt and drove home. Now, I dunno why, that night, everything seemed darker than usual. The room was darker, the streets were darker, darker in my car, etc. So when I got home, only then did I realise I'd put my T-shirt on inside-out!

Another messaging mishap. I sent a booking message for Lily at 5 star to SS. Got confused with the "star" in the WeChat profile. FMD, Nana never let me live that down for a long time, lol!

[woodland]

I was completely buggered from a few long days at work and went to the Korean MP next to 1 Blackburn St. After the hot session, I just put on my t-shirt and drove home. Now, I dunno why, that night, everything seemed darker than usual. The room was darker, the streets were darker, darker in my car, etc. So when I got home, only then did I realise I'd put my T-shirt on inside-out!


I don't get this one. Can someone explain?

[GoldfishMan]

I don't get this one. Can someone explain?

I just went from the parlour all the way home with my T-shirt on inside-out, dude.

[ML_Lover]

Fairly tame vs some of the above, but…

Was tidying up after a great first session with Luna at Sv about 3 years ago, talking about it was my birthday party Saturday night, lots of friends coming round…
She picked up her phone, looked awhile and said “ok, I changed my schedule, I can make that”
Cue a very embarrassed me… “errr…. I don’t think my wife would approve”
Two embarrassed people.

We got over it and hung out together for 2 months until she had to go back to Taiwan. She was a truly Beautiful person.

[1inchguy]

Dont think this is funny but strange or perhaps normal?

im on the bed, wl was giving me BJ when another wl just comes in and starts talking in Chinese. I wasn't sure what is going on, im just laying there. The wL thats sucking me off doesn't say anything just mumbles while waving her hand shooing
the other wl away so she just walks out and closes the door....

[surething91]

First time at Ginza, I had a few drinks so obviously wasn't completely sober. Girl hands me a shot, and I down it like a champ and it looked like she was downing the shot too but she spat it out. I was confused. She was laughing. Asked me why I just drank the mouth wash.
Oh so it's not a shot of Get27 offered by the house?!

[The Sampler]

Just a simple one, but memorable.

I was on the massage table feeling a bit gassy, was uncomfortably holding this gas that i could feel swirling about in my bowels and rectum.
In my mind i was trying to think of ways to quietly release a fart, but i knew the ML would probably smell it.
It was the one time i was wishing for another customer to ring the door bell or phone or something just to distract my ML so i could fart.
Was even willing to settle for another ML or mamasan to come along and start chatting through the door or something.
Then it just happened. My ML let off a loud one. She apoligised profusely and was embarassed, i said its okay and told her i was holding one in too and my god did i let it rip!
We both cracked up laughing and were very much comfortably degassed lol.

[Muppet]

This is related…

In about 2006 I went to popular a r&t massage place on a Friday night after a few beers. I selected the hottest chick working that night. She was about my age at the time (mid20s) and very unenthusiastic.
The experience was very average. The chick seemed super bored by the whole thing.
Anyway, 10 years later my coworker tells me her hot friend is coming to drinks with us and that years ago she used to work in a massage joint because of a huge debt she had. Guess who it was?!
Anyway, she didn’t recognise me… I think.

[spacekid2020]

Had a private once....and half way through her bf called =.=. It was real, not an excuse...and then it felt like a av moment lol, doing it while she on phone with her bf, trying her best to keep her voice normal on the phone lol, and I trying my best to make her cum =P

[Gong schlong]

Mines not so much a funny story as it is a funny quip made by the chick, and it's stayed in my mind earlier since. It was 15 years ago or more at one of the R&T joints at Newman St Bondi Junction. She was very complimentary of my cock and was playing with it between her arse cheeks... then she said she wanted it inside her and would I be ok with it if we fucked. I said yes, of course.

She then said "first, we need protection "

She toddled off to the bathroom briefly .. then returned holding a towel. She said: "Protection for the couch"

She draped the towel on the couch and jumped onto it on her knees, back arched presenting her cunt to me. Amazing. I fucked her bareback doggy style to completion, at no extra charge. One of the greats

[Carissawhore]

This happend to me recently, went to one of the massage parlour and the Chinese ML started with part 2 after 10 mins into massage and that went on for almost 30 mins of 2nd base with ML, we both got too horny and ML asked me to fuck her, she asked if I had condom, I said no and neither did she, she then ran into kitchen and came back with plastic wrap and wrapped my dick like a spring roll and jumped on it, was too horny and my dick made the thinking. Once I came started laughing and walked towards the parking lot realised how funny it was to fuck a lady with plastic wrap. She asked me to get condom next time.

[Meng]

This happend to me recently, went to one of the massage parlour and the Chinese ML started with part 2 after 10 mins into massage and that went on for almost 30 mins of 2nd base with ML, we both got too horny and ML asked me to fuck her, she asked if I had condom, I said no and neither did she, she then ran into kitchen and came back with plastic wrap and wrapped my dick like a spring roll and jumped on it, was too horny and my dick made the thinking. Once I came started laughing and walked towards the parking lot realised how funny it was to fuck a lady with plastic wrap. She asked me to get condom next time.

Lol how tightly did she wrap it? No problem with circulation?

[Daffy]

Had one of the funniest things happen to me in Amsterdam years ago. Was over in the UK for a cousins wedding so me and my 2 brothers decide to head down to Amsterdam for a few days beforehand. Have been there before but had just gotten divorced so first time as a single.

Little bro and me were there first and I had a lie down when we got there to rest and he went off drinking. I decided to have a look around the red light district and found this gorgeous Spanish girl in white and blue panties with thick rimmed glasses. Went up and enjoyed her company for a bit. Part way through she pulled out a massive black toy and asked if I wanted it for either of us.

Anyway finished up and found my little bro and dragged him down there to find a girl as he was also recently single. We’ve walked up and down and he said he’s made a decision. So he walks up to a window with a really hot Spanish girl in white and blue panties with thick rimmed glasses and I have to make a quick decision of if I should say anything. Apparently she asked him if his friend was coming up too pointing at me which he shot down.

So next morning at breakfast I asked him and described to the tattoo she had. He stared me in the eye and called me every foul name he could think of. That afternoon older bro and his girlfriend got in and it came up that girlfriend was fine with big bro visiting a window as long as she got to come in and watch.

So we all walked down to the red light district and wondered up and down. We brought up the little incident because little bro kept swearing at me and we had a good laugh. So big bro has made a decision. We look up at this gorgeous Spanish girl in white and blue panties with thick rimmed glasses and me and little bro just burst out laughing. Girlfriend looked at us and just said “that’s her isn’t it! She’s hot!”

[sintax]

Was having a nice one hour session and it had been a while so once the great first have was done did the old flip over and of we go for a nice naked hj like I said been a while and before long sky rockets in flight boom all over red rover she clean me up and started with a head massage, a minute in to this I here talking between mumasan and another out side then off goes my ML not a word lying there for 5 min I start to get dressed mumasan comes in said sorry another ML will finish me of get back on the table no charge for extra time and very apologetic so in comes new ML rubber in hand and starts working me up and boom covered BJ and this drained the life out of me as normally just a one shot wonder
So walked out after 2 hours all up with it just costing just a one hour session


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[Carissawhore]

Lol how tightly did she wrap it? No problem with circulation?

My cum lubricated and came of easily later

[R-form]

At 227NS at the end of October. I’d come straight from work and texted ahead to ask to have a shower before my booking.
I’m in the bathroom, drying off when the door opens unexpectedly (it has a lock but obviously I hadn’t done it properly.) The receptionist was in a bit of a flap that day so I expected it was her trying to hurry me up but I came face to face with another punter who was coming in to use the loo.

It was a bit surreal but my recollection is that I was drying my back at the time so everything was on display. I couldn’t help but laugh afterwards because my automatic reaction was to say “G’day mate” with a grin on my face. The poor bloke looked terribly embarrassed as he quickly backed out of the bathroom.

If that was one of you guys, my apologies for the show, but nice to have met you.

[GoldfishMan]

One of the funny things that have happened to me is forgetting the name of the girl I’d booked when I get to the reception.

The worst time was one time my mind went completely blank, couldn’t remember the name no matter how hard I tried.

In the end I had to check my phone messages to get the name of the lady!

[Bullzdog]

One of the funny things that have happened to me is forgetting the name of the girl I’d booked when I get to the reception.

The worst time was one time my mind went completely blank, couldn’t remember the name no matter how hard I tried.

In the end I had to check my phone messages to get the name of the lady!

Fucking gold.

This also happened to me at Tiffany’s about 15 years ago. There were so many girls coming in, and I was changing my mind when I thought something hotter walked in. Then after a couple minutes boss come in and said who would I like? And I had no fucking idea. Just give me the last chick

[ScotPassingThrough]

Fucking gold.

This also happened to me at Tiffany’s about 15 years ago. There were so many girls coming in, and I was changing my mind when I thought something hotter walked in. Then after a couple minutes boss come in and said who would I like? And I had no fucking idea. Just give me the last chick

First place I tried here was Kyoto 206. Walked in off the street and they wouldn’t give me a line up, just gave me one girl. I thought, “oh here we go. It will be terrible” but it was actually amazing. She gave total attention to the parts I like given attention to

Just one problem… I immediately forgot her name. 4 punts later with them, trying to find her, I gave up. Don’t know if she left, I just never found her, or she was a figment of my imagination. $1200 down the drain later as the others never came close

[675r]

I've got a few LOL moments, in retrospect of course!

One time I was really distracted by a lot of things, was having a smoke break with a cute little Taiwanese colleague. Suddenly got the urge to book a girl at Ginza so, while this chatterbox of a girl was prattling away at me, I whipped out my phone and typed "Hi, I'd like to book XXX at 6pm please", and hit Send. Immediately after hitting send, I realised my mistake: I'd sent the fooking message to the Taiwanese chick standing right in front of me!!

FMD, I immediately broke out in a cold sweat, but I managed to keep calm. I said to her "hey babe, are you uaing the new iPhone? Can I have a look at it?". She's passes it to me (I know, very gullible!), I take it from her with trembling hands and start working the menus to try to delete the message. She instantly realises what I was trying to do and tries to get her phone back... So I ran away and she was chasing me around the courtyard of the office trying to get her phone back, lol!!
I managed to delete it and then gave her some stupid excuse about accidentally sending a booty-call message meant for another girl to her.

Another funny one. I was completely buggered from a few long days at work and went to the Korean MP next to 1 Blackburn St. After the hot session, I just put on my t-shirt and drove home. Now, I dunno why, that night, everything seemed darker than usual. The room was darker, the streets were darker, darker in my car, etc. So when I got home, only then did I realise I'd put my T-shirt on inside-out!

Another messaging mishap. I sent a booking message for Lily at 5 star to SS. Got confused with the "star" in the WeChat profile. FMD, Nana never let me live that down for a long time, lol!

😂 - similar issue, except I came home with underpants inside out

[punther]

Once I was fucking this WL in doggy and all was fine and dandy.

After a while, I felt the sensation of her pussy change and became more pleasurable and but didn't think too much of it and just continued pounding away. Then I looked down and saw that the base of my shaft is skin-on-skin contact with orifice of her pussy. I slowly pulled out and realised the condom had disappeared and I was fucking bareback for a good couple of minutes. I was startled and I let her know, and then she became startled.

Then it hit us both - the condom had disappeared into her pussy and because I had been pounding her after the condom slipped off, my penis had pushed it right deep inside her. She tried to get it out but she couldn't.
So she asked me if I'd please help her try to find it. I obliged, and so I had two of my fingers deep inside her digging around for it while she jumps up and down and shaking her crotch trying shake the thing out. Felt every inch of her vaginal walls and this farce continued a good 10-15 minutes in different positions before I was able to reach deep and finally extricate the dammed thing. I felt like a board-certified gynecologist and gave myself a good pat on the back. Suffice to say, I did not get to finish and so gave my right hand a visit when I got home.

[GoldfishMan]

Once I was fucking this WL in doggy and all was fine and dandy.

After a while, I felt the sensation of her pussy change and became more pleasurable and but didn't think too much of it and just continued pounding away. Then I looked down and saw that the base of my shaft is skin-on-skin contact with orifice of her pussy. I slowly pulled out and realised the condom had disappeared and I was fucking bareback for a good couple of minutes. I was startled and I let her know, and then she became startled.

Then it hit us both - the condom had disappeared into her pussy and because I had been pounding her after the condom slipped off, my penis had pushed it right deep inside her. She tried to get it out but she couldn't.
So she asked me if I'd please help her try to find it. I obliged, and so I had two of my fingers deep inside her digging around for it while she jumps up and down and shaking her crotch trying shake the thing out. Felt every inch of her vaginal walls and this farce continued a good 10-15 minutes in different positions before I was able to reach deep and finally extricate the dammed thing. I felt like a board-certified gynecologist and gave myself a good pat on the back. Suffice to say, I did not get to finish and so gave my right hand a visit when I got home.

Hahaha, I can imagine the whole scene. Thanks for sharing bro!

[Double_Adapter]

Once I was fucking this WL in doggy and all was fine and dandy.

After a while, I felt the sensation of her pussy change and became more pleasurable and but didn't think too much of it and just continued pounding away. Then I looked down and saw that the base of my shaft is skin-on-skin contact with orifice of her pussy. I slowly pulled out and realised the condom had disappeared and I was fucking bareback for a good couple of minutes. I was startled and I let her know, and then she became startled.

Then it hit us both - the condom had disappeared into her pussy and because I had been pounding her after the condom slipped off, my penis had pushed it right deep inside her. She tried to get it out but she couldn't.
So she asked me if I'd please help her try to find it. I obliged, and so I had two of my fingers deep inside her digging around for it while she jumps up and down and shaking her crotch trying shake the thing out. Felt every inch of her vaginal walls and this farce continued a good 10-15 minutes in different positions before I was able to reach deep and finally extricate the dammed thing. I felt like a board-certified gynecologist and gave myself a good pat on the back. Suffice to say, I did not get to finish and so gave my right hand a visit when I got home.

...good thing the rubber didn't slip off during anal

[JJBlows]

Asians at Smithfield. Got told there is no room available and had to fuck in a small private intro/waiting room. Did the deed and as I was coming on her face I did the typical tilt head back action and instantly saw the CCTV camera in the room. Walked out into the large room with other blokes sitting with their WL with a massive security TV screen in the office pulled up with only my camera showing on it. Got smirks from the guys and embarresed looks from the WL (as if they now know what they look like from the outside perspective when servicing a punter). Instantly realised what had happened as I remember seeing that screen when I first walked in with all the little camera views on it with a old seedy chinese man slouched in the office chair sitting infront of it and when I walked out it was just showing my room.

Never been back to that place.

[R-form]

Asians at Smithfield. Got told there is no room available and had to fuck in a small private intro/waiting room. Did the deed and as I was coming on her face I did the typical tilt head back action and instantly saw the CCTV camera in the room. Walked out into the large room with other blokes sitting with their WL with a massive security TV screen in the office pulled up with only my camera showing on it. Got smirks from the guys and embarresed looks from the WL (as if they now know what they look like from the outside perspective when servicing a punter). Instantly realised what had happened as I remember seeing that screen when I first walked in with all the little camera views on it with a old seedy chinese man slouched in the office chair sitting infront of it and when I walked out it was just showing my room.

Never been back to that place.

Should have asked for a copy. Did you get a discount on the room fee at least?

[JJBlows]

Should have asked for a copy. Did you get a discount on the room fee at least?

No and no. Tbh I just got thw fuck out of there

[zakthekat]

My early days of punting were the odd brothel visit when I had the time and the spare cash. Had a birthday in my late 20s and was single so thought, fuck it, I'll go to the brothel I'd been to before and see if someone fun was there. Got myself an hour session with a caucasian lady who was about 21 and reasonably cute, not my type though but enough for me to be keen. We do the inspection, she gives the tip of my dick a little kiss and laughs. On the bed, on with the condom and she sucks like its gonna shoot money. Eventually she jumps on and we fuck for about 15 minutes, I blow into the condom and she cuddles up and we talk for a bit, comes out its my birthday and she gives me a nice kiss for my birthday. Still some time left but we were pretty sweaty so I jumped in the shower quickly to refresh. Come out and dry off, she's still on the bed and says come over and cuddle me. I walk over still naked and bend over to give her a cuddle, she reaches up and kisses me again, pulls me forward and wraps her legs around me. I can feel my cock rubbing her pussy lips and immediately get hard again. She laughs, looks down at my hardon and just lines it up and pulls me in bareback. I'm in shock and she says you have until the buzzer to cum and you can cum inside me. By now the buzzer is less than 10 minutes away. I think I creampied her with about 5 seconds to spare. Whispers happy birthday in my ear and pushes me off. She only worked there for 2 weeks and I was the last customer on her last day. She kicked off my fetish of creampies in a pretty big way that night. Two shots, one of them a creampie for $240 all up. Not a bad birthday present at all.

[gco0307]

Have two funnies but a litrtle scene setting - I am lucky and my wife knows that I visit ML or occasional FS and has joined from time to time.



As mentioned, my wife is very ok with the punting and such activities, but this one involves her.

We had won a massage from a Bondi massage shop at Sexpo many many years ago. I say 'won' as we both feel that the ladies involved wanted us to get the massage but that is another story.

At the time of the massage, I was on call for my then work (this was before the following story).

So we enter the room, strip naked and I have two gorgeous girls (ML plus my wife) massaging me. Who could complain. Hears noise - WTF?

Oncall pager going off - timing not great.

Anyway my wife suggests I check that so I get up and she gets on the table, and the massage starts between here andt he ML. So right now I have ML naked and massaging my wife, bodies touching and very sensual while i try to decipher the pager message. Sh*t , a Sunday and big system issues .............. timing.

So, called the guy who paged and tried to keep a very interested voice going while the massage continued a few feet away and what made it worse was the girls were seriously enjoying themselves (massage wise) and both would reach out and tease me. So here I am talking a guy through a system recovery while this is going on .....................

Anyway, got system back up and running and returned to the massage which was hella fun.





Second one a few years later

Was a regular at a place in Wollongong and was visiting one of my regular ML. I am married and my wife fully knows, so much so that she was good friends with the Madam and became very good friends with the ML involved in this punt. At the time, I also worked shift work but was enjoying some days off. Now, at the time I also did not have a mobile - we are talking early 2000's.

So queue me vising ML for a massage and all is going well. We are a good 30 or so minutes in and bodyslide is happening.

Knock, knock.

Madam comes in when we react. Gaz, just had Sheba on the phone, when finished can you call here from out reception. Apparently work have called and need someone to cover tonight.

This was around 6:00pm for a 7:00pm shift start.

Anyway, we laughed and completed the massage with no issues, laughed some more, made the call and went for the 12 hours of overtime ....................

[Fredsal]

Here is mine…..
A while back I went to 102 market and ended with a session with Cherry the Mamasan.
Just before I had lunch at home. I am a hot chilli fan. So I had the hottest chilli sauce to go with my salad.
Unbeknownst to me I got some on my fingers.
So fully into Cherry loving it and Daty. I was fingering her pussy while sucking her clit and all of a sudden Cherry muttered something in Chinese then said “aargh my pussy hot my pussy hot!” and wiggled and squirmed. I repeated that I agreed that she did have a hot pussy.
Her pussy was hot with chilli……
I chuckled as I watched her dance and jump trying to cool her pussy and finally washing it with water.
She came back and finished with me which surprised me. Ha ha.

[Sydboy65]

Fucking a sugarbabe in a motel. We fucked so hard the bed came away from the headboard and moved on its wheels halfway across the room.

When we looked down there was a giant black dong about 10in long and about 5 inches in circumference sticking out from under the bed. The room hadn’t been cleaned properly. It looked crusty and used. We just laughed and kept fucking.

Complained to management and they comped us a room the following week!

[Fred Flintstone]

A few years ago I went to Marlene’s Brothel to see Eva, the half Thai- half Indian girl. Eva is beautiful, has a nice body and is heavily tattooed. This includes a tramp stamp in Thai writing. Her service is restricted - no DFK, only CBJ etc, but I really liked her. Marlene, the mamasan, would market her as a ‘Venezuelan Goddess’ from the depths of South America. LOL.

So I paid me money to Marlene and showered. Eva came in, we hugged and I had her sitting on my face so I could eat her snatch. With my face buried in Eva’s ass, my sight was restricted and I couldn’t see the door. In walked another WL, Malaysian Cherry, and without saying a word, she just started to give me a BBBJ while Eva was still sitting on my face. I couldn’t understand what was taking place, as I had not asked for Cherry nor paid for her. I said nothing and just enjoyed it. Eva also said nothing and was writhing on my face. For a nano-second I thought perhaps Marlene had sent Cherry in as a surprise to reward me for my loyalty over the years. (A mamasan giving away a free root? Hahahahahahahahaha.)

Anyhow, after a few moments, Eva got off and put a condom on me and bent over so I could fuck her from behind. Cherry started DFKing while i was doggying Eva. I was fingering Cherry’s pussy. I then shot my load on Eva’s ass. Cherry, figuring she was no longer needed, then left.

Eva and I then lay on the bed in embrace. Suddenly, without knocking, in barged Marlene, demanding to know what the fuck was going on. We were naked. Both me and Eva shrugged and said we had no clue why Cherry came in. It really killed the mood. Marlene was furious. She then stormed out.

A few moments later, Marlene came in again. Turns out that Cherry had come in by accident, as some other monger had ordered two girls in the adjacent room. Marlene then asked me to pay $20 to Cherry for the BBBJ. I thought this was plain wrong, but not wanting to cause a scene, just handed the money over.

On the way out, I had a chuckle with Marlene. Only she could be this rude and disrespectful to customers!!

Eva has now retired I think. If anyone knows her whereabouts, I’d appreciate some details.

[looser]

Funny, pathetic, but more than once the WL fell asleep on me. Last time it was 2 hours and I felt it would have been rude to wake her.

[GoldfishMan]

Funny, pathetic, but more than once the WL fell asleep on me. Last time it was 2 hours and I felt it would have been rude to wake her.

I think I would fall asleep first in a 2-hr booking, lol!

[nilhlator]

not sure if some would find this amusing or awkward

but during a punt the WL ran out of condoms and said not to worry and produced glad wrap from her lunch..

[Eclipsefun]

I had a wedding in a massage joint. It was 2020 and I go to this massage joint where extras is very common. There are three women working there that day, including the Mamasan who also does massage/h.e, although one was out getting everyone's lunch from a nearby shopping center. The double turns into FS. I have sex with the mamasan first, move on to the ML and while we are changing condoms the Mamasan decides it would be hilarious to marry me and the ML before we fuck. So she has her stand at the end of the hallway and I walk down the hallway to her like it is the aisle as she plays wedding music on her phone. So there we all are, naked in the middle of the shop, my erection bouncing freely in the air with "here comes the bride" playing when the third ML returns and walks right into the middle of the scene, and without skipping a beat picks up the vase of flowers from the reception desk and hands them to 'my bride' as a bouquet.

[Seafood]

Was getting rimmed, couldn’t help let out a stinker of a fart

[John Holmes]

I think there was a similar thread before but here's what I wrote in the last one. Still by far my most embarassing.

This was when I saw Mimi doing private. Booked her and as I've never seen her ever in the shops I didn't know what she looked like. Turned up at the apartment and waited a while. Not sure who I was expecting to come down to get me so I was on the look out for a Asian girl loitering in the lobby. There just so happen to be this hot long haired Asian girl in a suit who looked like she was on her phone and looking for someone. So I casually walked up to her. We made eye contact and she said my name. I was like Yea! She's hot. We walked into the lift and she gave me her card and that was when I realised I made a mistake. She was a real estate agent lol!

It was too late then and I ended up going up and checking out the apartment and then the actual person she was suppose to meet called. We kinda looked at each other funny and I was like we must both have the same name and looking at apartments. Finally went down and found the real mimi then we got in the lift together with the real estate agent and her actual client it was super awkward.

What would have happen when you were inside the apartment and you start taking off your gear... I think this will be an excellent plot for a Redtube Video 🤣🤣🤣

[Meng]

What would have happen when you were inside the apartment and you start taking off your gear... I think this will be an excellent plot for a Redtube Video 🤣🤣🤣

Bro thank god that didn't happen. I would of been fucked. She was fucking hot too.

I think back then, quick money would be to either work in a brothel or real estate.

I follow several Asian real estate agent girls on Instagram. They basically seem to be on holiday every second week

Guess you sell a house, earn huge commission and then go on holiday for a bit. Rinse and repeat.

[John Holmes]

Bro thank god that didn't happen. I would of been fucked. She was fucking hot too.

I think back then, quick money would be to either work in a brothel or real estate.

I follow several Asian real estate agent girls on Instagram. They basically seem to be on holiday every second week

Guess you sell a house, earn huge commission and then go on holiday for a bit. Rinse and repeat.

You never know bro... she might be up for it for a bit of work stress relief😁😁😁
Years ago, I know a few Asian Real estate agent and Yes , when they score they make so serious big bucks.
Many years ago during Sydney Real estate gold rush, this girl pull just under $80k within 2 weeks from landing a few sales.
Not sure if they are on those kinda money these days.