Jokes, having a laugh

[Olddog]

I used to see a WL near liverpool. Her Locanto ad was was NO anal, no bareback, no kinks no, no ,no but she promised good sex, a chat and a laugh.
And laugh we did!

I like to have fun, decent chat and a laugh during a session, paid or unpaid. Don't get too much of that with the Asian WLs that are my current, but convient hobby. (Maybe I have to pay extra for a chinese dad joke). I now laugh when the lady tells me I have big dick and I make her horny horny. Yep, sure.
Sara at Albion Park was an exception, fun fun fun in lots of ways.
Girls that made you laugh? Best funny during a massage?
I was inspired by a meme;
"Wanted. Someone to wear a pink wetsuit and masterbate while I play the bagpipes. Willing pay. No weirdos please"

[Alextheman871]

I used to see a WL near liverpool. Her Locanto ad was was NO anal, no bareback, no kinks no, no ,no but she promised good sex, a chat and a laugh.
And laugh we did!

I like to have fun, decent chat and a laugh during a session, paid or unpaid. Don't get too much of that with the Asian WLs that are my current, but convient hobby. (Maybe I have to pay extra for a chinese dad joke). I now laugh when the lady tells me I have big dick and I make her horny horny. Yep, sure.
Sara at Albion Park was an exception, fun fun fun in lots of ways.
Girls that made you laugh? Best funny during a massage?
I was inspired by a meme;
"Wanted. Someone to wear a pink wetsuit and masterbate while I play the bagpipes. Willing pay. No weirdos please"

Good read! hehe who wouldn't want a good company? I do also like to have fun most of the times and have a good laugh from someone especially our attending WLs. I remember accidentally farting while doing the did, haha we laugh about it and still finish strong!

[GoldfishMan]

I love a good laugh, but only after getting my rocks off. Laughter sort of lessens the buildup when I'm all sexed up, I lose momentum.

[wilisno]

Just read a joke.

3 friends complaining about how stupid their wives are :

1. My wife spent $12000 on a new kitchen, she doesn’t even cook.

2. My wife bought a $100000 Mercedes, she can’t even drive.

3. My wife bought 100 condoms for her work trip, she doesn’t even have a penis !

[bbob73323]

Just read a joke.

3 friends complaining about how stupid their wives are :

1. My wife spent $12000 on a new kitchen, she doesn’t even cook.

2. My wife bought a $100000 Mercedes, she can’t even drive.

3. My wife bought 100 condoms for her work trip, she doesn’t even have a penis !

Haha, last one got me!

[bung72]

I was inspired by a meme;
"Wanted. Someone to wear a pink wetsuit and masterbate while I play the bagpipes. Willing pay. No weirdos please"

That's a beauty!

[JJBlows]

Just read a joke.

3 friends complaining about how stupid their wives are :

1. My wife spent $12000 on a new kitchen, she doesn’t even cook.

2. My wife bought a $100000 Mercedes, she can’t even drive.

3. My wife bought 100 condoms for her work trip, she doesn’t even have a penis !

What does your wife have in common with a condom?......

If she ain't on your dick then she's in your wallet.

What the difference between a G spot and a golf ball?......

A guy will actually look for a golf ball to try and find it

[bryanthemachinegun]

I used to see a WL near liverpool. Her Locanto ad was was NO anal, no bareback, no kinks no, no ,no but she promised good sex, a chat and a laugh.
And laugh we did!

I like to have fun, decent chat and a laugh during a session, paid or unpaid. Don't get too much of that with the Asian WLs that are my current, but convient hobby. (Maybe I have to pay extra for a chinese dad joke). I now laugh when the lady tells me I have big dick and I make her horny horny. Yep, sure.
Sara at Albion Park was an exception, fun fun fun in lots of ways.
Girls that made you laugh? Best funny during a massage?
I was inspired by a meme;
"Wanted. Someone to wear a pink wetsuit and masterbate while I play the bagpipes. Willing pay. No weirdos please"

Sometimes aside from the sex, a good company and a laugh is more than enough.

[asiafever]

A few years ago my wife was in a coma. The doctor came to me and said "There is a way to get her out of the coma, it is a little unconventional but I've seen it work."
I said "Well what is it doc?"
He said "you need to go in there and have oral sex with her."
I said "by god... ok, look, if you think it's worth a shot."
So I walked in, and was in there about 5 minutes before I walked back out and said "Doc, she's choking.."

[GoldfishMan]

Lol, good one. Keep the jokes cumming folks!

[bryanthemachinegun]

Question: How do you tell the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

Answer: By the taste!

[iamjohnnygalt]

A boy asked a beautiful girl in a library,
“Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud angry voice;
“I don’t want to spend a night with you!”

All the people in the library started staring at the boy and he was so embarrassed!
A few minutes later, the girl walked up to the boy and told him “I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed right?”
The boy replied with a very loud voice “$300 for one night?
That’s too much!”
And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the boy whispered to her “I study Law and I know how to make someone guilty.”

[dotcumdotinyou]

An oldie

A cowboy rides into town and heads straight to the saloon, he tells the barman "I want a whore right now" the barman says "only sandpaper Sally is available right now." "I don't care, I'm so horny as long as she's got a pussy I'll take her." says the cowboy.
They go upstairs to her room he pulls his pants down lifts up her skirt and tries to put it in to no avail, "hang on a sec" she whispers. She goes to the bathroom and comes back after a couple of minutes, up goes her skirt and he slides straight in and starts pumping. "That feels great, what did you do?" To which she replies "I scraped off the scabs and you slid in on the puss!"

[dotcumdotinyou]

Another oldie

A cocky goes to the bachelors and spinsters ball in a small country town, he arrives late because he's been building up the courage to go cause he's got a wooden eye and he's really paranoid about. He finally enters the ballroom looks around and the only girl not partnered up has a hair lip.
He walks straight up to her and says "would you like to dance?" she replies "wouldn't I!" he screams "DON'T CALL ME WOODEN EYE CUNT FACE!"

[GoldfishMan]

Another oldie

A cocky goes to the bachelors and spinsters ball in a small country town, he arrives late because he's been building up the courage to go cause he's got a wooden eye and he's really paranoid about. He finally enters the ballroom looks around and the only girl not partnered up has a hair lip.
He walks straight up to her and says "would you like to dance?" she replies "wouldn't I!" he screams "DON'T CALL ME WOODEN EYE CUNT FACE!"

Lol.... keep em cumming boyzzz...

[dotcumdotinyou]

Why don't women fart as much as men?

They won't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.

[dotcumdotinyou]

How can you tell if a women is wearing panty hose?

Her ankles swell when she farts
Her toes curl up when you fuck her

[dotcumdotinyou]

Here's on only the old timers will remember

Big Russ Hinze goes to a restaurant and orders the turtle soup, after a while one of his minders goes to the kitchen to see what's taking so long. The chef says "I've been standing here for 15 minutes try to cut its head off, but every time I swipe he retreats back into his shell...he's too quick." The minder says "you get ready I'll get him out." He turns the turtle around and sticks his thumb up its arse, its head pops out and the chef strikes.
"How'd you learn to do that?" the chef asks. "Easy" said the minder "Its how we get Russ's tie on every morning".

[Olddog]

The turtle joke.
Funny as. I remember Russ Hinze
Fat fuck that he was.
They used the same joke on some no neck English bowler (Gladstone?).

[Olddog]

Hope these jokes don't turn into a memory test for old-timers! I think I just used the memory brain cell I have.
Running on empty.. I'll have to delete some memories of the worst punts ever to make room.

[vinegarstroke]

Yeah, I remember the fat fuck Rusty Hinge as well. Story goes that parliament was discussing the dingo problem out west and a polly called Rosemary Kyburtz
suggested castrating the dingoes. Old Rusty interjected "C'mon Rozie, the dingoes are eating the sheep, not fuckin them!"
Apparently this was true and is recorded in Hansard.

[madness123]

Gold! What a fat fuck he was.

[Ghost2hauntU]

So a koala walks into a brothel.

He picks out the best looking girl, and heads upstairs with her. While up there, he eats her out like a madman, doing things she's never even heard of. After about an hour he gets up heads out the door.

The girl stops him and demands payment.

The koala doesn't understand. She has him look up prostitute in the dictionary.

"a person who trades sex for money."

Still a little confused, he asks what it says about him.

"koala, an Australian native animal that eats bushes and leaves."

[Shaktimaan]

So a koala walks into a brothel.

He picks out the best looking girl, and heads upstairs with her. While up there, he eats her out like a madman, doing things she's never even heard of. After about an hour he gets up heads out the door.

The girl stops him and demands payment.

The koala doesn't understand. She has him look up prostitute in the dictionary.

"a person who trades sex for money."

Still a little confused, he asks what it says about him.

"koala, an Australian native animal that eats bushes and leaves."
Haha this one is hilarious

[GoldfishMan]

Lol, hilarious bro.

[PKING2]

I dont know what to react. Funny thing happened when I tried new place.
There was loud commotion happened, after a young bloke left (looks like just 18 or 19 from his behaviour)
He is a chinese and speak mando with the manager before left.
I inside the waiting room so I didn't see who it was but it between the worker and the manager.
" you know that guy is s prick , he is the worst, he cannot speak English "
"Why?"
" he tried to put it to my face, I already said stop but he still do it. And he doesn't understand English, you have a list right"
"Yes I can make a list for customer that you don't want see again"
" urghhhhhh, He is studying in Australia , he should study English. What if she has gf and he cannot speak English, how they can communicate, learn English not visit this store"
And keep continue as she really pissed off and fumed from her voice.

And the manager make excuses to ushered me to my room. Smart move papasan hahahah.

More or less like that

Feelsbadman to that young bloke , even ml take pity on him. Lol

[iamjohnnygalt]

So a koala walks into a brothel.

He picks out the best looking girl, and heads upstairs with her. While up there, he eats her out like a madman, doing things she's never even heard of. After about an hour he gets up heads out the door.

The girl stops him and demands payment.

The koala doesn't understand. She has him look up prostitute in the dictionary.

"a person who trades sex for money."

Still a little confused, he asks what it says about him.

"koala, an Australian native animal that eats bushes and leaves."

Ha ha ... that's a great one!! LOL

[dotcumdotinyou]

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" "No" replies the rabbit. So the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit.

[dotcumdotinyou]

Two mates are walking down the street, when they see a dog licking its balls one turns to the other and says "I wish I could do that." His mate replies "I'll hold its head so it doesn't bite you."

[JJBlows]

Having a joke and making a girl laugh is some good lube.

I Did feel bad for laughing at a Korean WL who walked into the shower door thinking it was open.

[spir55]

what do you get when you cross a computer and a prostitute?

A fucking know it all.

[schloong]

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" "No" replies the rabbit. So the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit.

That's gold mate!!! I'm still chuckling...

[schloong]

What would happen if you kicked a blacksmith's dog?
He'd make a bolt for the door!

[GoldfishMan]

Yes, some good stuff coming from dotcum. Keep em cumming!!

[Refedust]

What did the penis say to the vagina?
Don’t make me come in there!

[dotcumdotinyou]

Son "Dad, do you remember your first blow job?"

Dad "Yes I do, I think every man does."

Son "What did it taste like?"

[dotcumdotinyou]

How do you recycle a condom?
Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.

[dotcumdotinyou]

An elephant asks a camel "Why do you have boobs on your back?"
The camel replied "That's a weird question coming from someone with a dick on his face."

[dotcumdotinyou]

How do you tell if your girl is horny or hungry?
Watch to see where she sticks the cucumber.

[dotcumdotinyou]

Hercules got into a fight with a guy with a big hammer...the next day his bum was Thor.

[bung72]

Son "Dad, do you remember your first blow job?"

Dad "Yes I do, I think every man does."

Son "What did it taste like?"

Noooo!!! One for the new generation I suppose.....

[danaussieguy]

So a koala walks into a brothel.

He picks out the best looking girl, and heads upstairs with her. While up there, he eats her out like a madman, doing things she's never even heard of. After about an hour he gets up heads out the door.

The girl stops him and demands payment.

The koala doesn't understand. She has him look up prostitute in the dictionary.

"a person who trades sex for money."

Still a little confused, he asks what it says about him.

"koala, an Australian native animal that eats bushes and leaves."

hahahaha good one mate!

[pornonporn]

What type of underwear does covid wear?
COVID Klein

[priapus1966]

They used the same joke on some no neck English bowler (Gladstone?).

Gladstone Cleophas Small - his neck vertabrae were fused,

[dotcumdotinyou]

What's the difference between a sex worker and a drug dealer? A sex worker can wash her crack and resell it.

What's the difference between between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

When does a patient panic? When he's having a prostate exam and feels his doctors hands on both shoulders.

[GoldfishMan]

What's the difference between a sex worker and a drug dealer? A sex worker can wash her crack and resell it.

What's the difference between between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

When does a patient panic? When he's having a prostate exam and feels his doctors hands on both shoulders.

Lol, good ones, especially the last one!!

[Daffy]

What’s the difference between a chick pea and a garbonzo bean?

I’ve never had a garbonzo bean on my face

[woodland]

yeah mad is not bad,.

[Daffy]

yeah mad is not bad,.
We got the chocolates is pretty good too

[F0x]

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" "No" replies the rabbit. So the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit.

Haha the old Eddie Murphy Classic 😏

"I once had sex with my Dad in a lift.




It was wrong on every level"

[schloong]

Here's a non PC one:
Q: How does a blind parachutist know when he's getting close to the ground?
A: The leash goes slack!

[dotcumdotinyou]

This would have to be one of the oldest jokes around, I first heard it in the '60s

An indian brave walks into the chief's teepee and asks him how he names the children in the village.

"Well" he says "when a child is born I look outside and name the child the first thing I see, if I see a bear running I name the child running bear. If I see a cloud wafting across the sky I name the child white cloud. Why do you ask two dogs fucking?"

[GoldfishMan]

This would have to be one of the oldest jokes around, I first heard it in the '60s

An indian brave walks into the chief's teepee and asks him how he names the children in the village.

"Well" he says "when a child is born I look outside and name the child the first thing I see, if I see a bear running I name the child running bear. If I see a cloud wafting across the sky I name the child white cloud. Why do you ask two dogs fucking?"

LMAO, good one!

[expert]

Read this somewhere:

Son: "Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?"
Dad: "Because your mum loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter"
Son: "Thanks, Dad"
Dad: "No problem, Alan"

[Daffy]

Here's a non PC one:
Q: How does a blind parachutist know when he's getting close to the ground?
A: The leash goes slack!
How dark are we going?

Edit - might start a different topic for dark humour

[GoldfishMan]

Read this somewhere:

Son: "Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?"
Dad: "Because your mum loves Easter and Teresa is an anagram of Easter"
Son: "Thanks, Dad"
Dad: "No problem, Alan"

Hahahha another good one!

[asiafever]

My best friends wife is a born again Christian, and we do not get along well at all.
The other day she called me up to yell at me because he called her a bad word.
"Did he call you a bitch?" I asked her.
"No Asiafever, he did not use the b word!"
"Uh-oh.... Did he call you a cunt?" I asked.
"No!"
"Well then he didn't hear it from me..."

[GoldfishMan]

My best friends wife is a born again Christian, and we do not get along well at all.
The other day she called me up to yell at me because he called her a bad word.
"Did he call you a bitch?" I asked her.
"No Asiafever, he did not use the b word!"
"Uh-oh.... Did he call you a cunt?" I asked.
"No!"
"Well then he didn't hear it from me..."

Lol, good one bro!