Can’t cum with partner/ certain girls

[TheBigChungus]

Hey guys,

It’s me, had something to ask.

I have been seeing this girl lately, nothing serious mostly friends with benefits type of situation.

First the girl is beautiful, she looks innocent but under the sheets she’s a lil freak, now I have fucked her twice last month just before I went on a mini trip. Both the times I’ve been with her I haven’t been able to well… CUM.

The first time I thought maybe it was nervousness or if I was stressed but when the second time it happened she got sad, even though we had all the foreplay, pleasuring her but when it came to finishing me even after 2hrs+ with breaks I just couldn’t bust.

Now I’m going to her place on Sunday again, and this time I do wanna cum, but I’m afraid it might happen again.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I tell her it’s me and not her because it’s not her tbh. This is like the very first time I’m having this issue, when I’m with privates or when I go for a massage, I always cum, is my dick asking for private pussy lol or is there a scientific explanation to this or even an anecdotal one from a fellow punter.

Am I only able to cum, when I pay for it lol, do I need to roleplay with her as if she’s a prostitute and I’m paying her hmm

[GoldfishMan]

Maybe your dick thinks this fruit is too low hanging, won't go for it. Zero cost because it's a FWB arrangement. Lol, if that's true, this would be the first time I've seen this happening!

Was it BB or protected sex? If the latter, you might want to try BB if possible and see how you go.

[TheBigChungus]

Maybe your dick thinks this fruit is too low hanging, won't go for it. Zero cost because it's a FWB arrangement. Lol, if that's true, this would be the first time I've seen this happening!

Was it BB or protected sex? If the latter, you might want to try BB if possible and see how you go.

Both the times have been protected. So frustrating, lol if it’s cause of punting I might have to just stop punting for a while, fuck her and see if anything changes. “Free pussy” is nice.

Maybe I should’ve saved my nut for Sunday, oh well.

[Footballpunter]

dont let it get to your head. a lot of it is mental. maybe the first time is just a fluke but the second time you started thinking about what happened the first time. try to clear your head and just enjoy the moment

[JSteel96]

Pay her some shopping money and you should be able to blow. Or take some Viagra? It could be that your to relaxed with her so you get the soft cock syndrome.

[Kiki kong]

Pay her some shopping money and you should be able to blow. Or take some Viagra? It could be that your to relaxed with her so you get the soft cock syndrome.

Viagra just makes you salute and not fire the Canon right?? But Chungus is the chick your seeing a looker? Is she a chubber? Its a valid question...

Since the WLs you see are more your preferred choice, hence you get off?

[c1teh9]

My advice would be to not cum for at least 3-4 days before you see her. This will solve the issue and then it's no longer a mental one

[The Sampler]

There's a movie called Shame (2011) starring Michael Fassbender who goes this exact thing.

Basically he's a sex addict, because hes such a sex machine he can just have all the wildest sex he wants with random people.
But with people he's in love with he can't get it up or climax.

The movie makes it out to be a psychological thing he has going on with his shame of his addiction.

So yeah, all in all its in your head and you need to overcome it.

[TheBigChungus]

dont let it get to your head. a lot of it is mental. maybe the first time is just a fluke but the second time you started thinking about what happened the first time. try to clear your head and just enjoy the moment

Hmm it could be that I’m just overthinking it.

[TheBigChungus]

Pay her some shopping money and you should be able to blow. Or take some Viagra? It could be that your to relaxed with her so you get the soft cock syndrome.

Never done viagara, it’s not so much that I can’t get hard. It just takes forever and I can’t feel like I’m about to climax.

Hmm shopping money, not a bad idea but wouldn’t it be weird tho instead of giving her a gift or something I’m like “here is some money, go get yourself something nice” lol

[GoldfishMan]

Footballpunter is on point, very important to not let it become a mental problem.

And I second JSteel96's suggestion to take V, it will help a lot. I think it's a physical thing happening here. When a woman gets really aroused, her pussy becomes more dilated and if there was a lot of foreplay beforehand she might have even orgasmed which is worse, her pussy muscles would become relaxed. It all adds up to make her pussy feel "looser" than it really is.

You won't get this "problem" with WLs because they never get really aroused. Orgasm? Fuhgedaboudit. It's her job to fuck men, how aroused can she get? The worst that could happen with a WL is she might have put too much lube and end up making her pussy feel like the over-aroused state: too dilated, open and loose.

So my advise is you can do a few things to ensure personal satisfaction in your next meetup with your girl.

First and most important, keep the foreplay to a minimum. Make it a quickie if you have to and completely skip foreplay if you can. It's a selfish thing to do but fuck it, we have a mission to accomplish here.

Second, take enough V to get 110% hardness. This is needed to match the openness of her pussy.

And the last one, if both of you are OK with it, try to go BB.

[TicklishFeet123]

This same thing happened to me a decade ago. So, I've thought about it a lot.

Causes? Various factors come into play. It is worth checking out your stress levels, diet, health, age.

Also, we are only human and sometimes our bodies or our state or mind at the time can just plain let us down.
However, in this one area of life we always expect to able to succeed because, after all, our past experiences since puberty lead us to think it will never let us down, so why should it this time? It's like breathing or eating.

And so, after it happens a couple of times, the fear of it happening again haunts your mind each time you do the deed, and that fear itself then becomes a factor also.

Solution?
I fixed my problem and it went away.

As well as working on my health, diet and exercise, I have found two things have helped the most:

Body - I take a very small regular dose of Cialis every day. I don't think I actually need it, but like a life jacket in a boat, it is always there if I do. It gives reassurance and confidence that my erection is not going to go floppy after 15 minutes of sex, even if my mind starts to get in the way of my body's pleasure. Stupid brain!

Mind - The other thing I found that helped was talking dirty to the lady while I am doing the deed. Saying things in soft tones into her ear, like how good she feels, and how much she is turning me, how deep inside her I am, etc. keeps MY mind focused on the present and its pleasures until I get across the finish line.

Another added benefit of talking dirty (in soft polite tones I might add) to my lady love during sex is that she also gets across the line 99% of the time, sometimes before me, sometimes together.

And no, I don't think they are all faking it. And no, I don't think there is anything especially sexy about me.
It is probably for the same reason it helps me - it makes her think about how good she feels with me inside her, and how special she is to me (at least in that moment), and for a woman it is all about the feels.

Hey, this has been therapeutic to me just typing these thoughts down, and I hope it helps my fellow punters out too.
Cheers, mates.

Beware... The Melty Man Cometh
Check out the hilarious BBC version of the comedy Coupling (not the crappy US version).
The problem is so common amongst men that they made some episodes about it in a TV sitcom.

[TheBigChungus]

Viagra just makes you salute and not fire the Canon right?? But Chungus is the chick your seeing a looker? Is she a chubber? Its a valid question...

Since the WLs you see are more your preferred choice, hence you get off?

Nah she’s pretty, and toned I’d say. She does line with what I look for in a girl. If we’re going off of a checklist:
1. Slim and pretty [emoji736]
2. Asian, Korean [emoji736]
3. Petite [emoji736]

[TheBigChungus]

My advice would be to not cum for at least 3-4 days before you see her. This will solve the issue and then it's no longer a mental one

Well I just saw IU yesterday and was working on an AR, so it’s too late not to cum for 3-4 days, I’ve got a day and a half take it or leave it LMAO.

Do I just cancel meeting her and meet her some other day hmm

[TheBigChungus]

There's a movie called Shame (2011) starring Michael Fassbender who goes this exact thing.

Basically he's a sex addict, because hes such a sex machine he can just have all the wildest sex he wants with random people.
But with people he's in love with he can't get it up or climax.

The movie makes it out to be a psychological thing he has going on with his shame of his addiction.

So yeah, all in all its in your head and you need to overcome it.

Oh wow, I remember seeing the trailer once but didn’t think much about it, I guess it’s going in my watch list now. Thanks

[TheBigChungus]

Footballpunter is on point, very important to not let it become a mental problem.

And I second JSteel96's suggestion to take V, it will help a lot. I think it's a physical thing happening here. When a woman gets really aroused, her pussy becomes more dilated and if there was a lot of foreplay beforehand she might have even orgasmed which is worse, her pussy muscles would become relaxed. It all adds up to make her pussy feel "looser" than it really is.

You won't get this "problem" with WLs because they never get really aroused. Orgasm? Fuhgedaboudit. It's her job to fuck men, how aroused can she get? The worst that could happen with a WL is she might have put too much lube and end up making her pussy feel like the over-aroused state: too dilated, open and loose.

So my advise is you can do a few things to ensure personal satisfaction in your next meetup with your girl.

First and most important, keep the foreplay to a minimum. Make it a quickie if you have to and completely skip foreplay if you can. It's a selfish thing to do but fuck it, we have a mission to accomplish here.

Second, take enough V to get 110% hardness. This is needed to match the openness of her pussy.

And the last one, if both of you are OK with it, try to go BB.

You do make some valid points, def try not to think too much about it.

Also where does one buy V exactly, I might have time do some research.

I’ll bring BB when I meet her, I don’t think she’d be opposed to it, if she isn’t I don’t care either.

I just wanna cum with this girl ffs, maybe third times the charm hey.

[Timeis629]

Hey guys,

It’s me, had something to ask.

I have been seeing this girl lately, nothing serious mostly friends with benefits type of situation.

………

Am I only able to cum, when I pay for it lol, do I need to roleplay with her as if she’s a prostitute and I’m paying her hmm

Delayed ejaculation …. can be age related …. Physiological…. and/or psychologically.

I’m in the same boat.
There was one ML who I saw multiple times and the only way I came was from my own hand ….
Only with a few MLs was I able to cum naturally
But one CIM - last punt …. nice way to have your last punt.
I guess you have to value what an “experience” is - is it the massage, the sensuality, the extensive foreplay or just ejaculating for 5 seconds.
Oh and by the way - my most reliable punt was Jessica SP - only ML who got me off in style and class.?

[TheBigChungus]

This same thing happened to me a decade ago. So, I've thought about it a lot.

Causes? Various factors come into play. It is worth checking out your stress levels, diet, health, age.

Also, we are only human and sometimes our bodies or our state or mind at the time can just plain let us down.
However, in this one area of life we always expect to able to succeed because, after all, our past experiences since puberty lead us to think it will never let us down, so why should it this time? It's like breathing or eating.

And so, after it happens a couple of times, the fear of it happening again haunts your mind each time you do the deed, and that fear itself then becomes a factor also.

Solution?
I fixed my problem and it went away.

As well as working on my health, diet and exercise, I have found two things have helped the most:

Body - I take a very small regular dose of Cialis every day. I don't think I actually need it, but like a life jacket in a boat, it is always there if I do. It gives reassurance and confidence that my erection is not going to go floppy after 15 minutes of sex, even if my mind starts to get in the way of my body's pleasure. Stupid brain!

Mind - The other thing I found that helped was talking dirty to the lady while I am doing the deed. Saying things in soft tones into her ear, like how good she feels, and how much she is turning me, how deep inside her I am, etc. keeps MY mind focused on the present and its pleasures until I get across the finish line.

Another added benefit of talking dirty (in soft polite tones I might add) to my lady love during sex is that she also gets across the line 99% of the time, sometimes before me, sometimes together.

And no, I don't think they are all faking it. And no, I don't think there is anything especially sexy about me.
It is probably for the same reason it helps me - it makes her think about how good she feels with me inside her, and how special she is to me (at least in that moment), and for a woman it is all about the feels.

Hey, this has been therapeutic to me just typing these thoughts down, and I hope it helps my fellow punters out too.
Cheers, mates.

Beware... The Melty Man Cometh
Check out the hilarious BBC version of the comedy Coupling (not the crappy US version).
The problem is so common amongst men that they made some episodes about it in a TV sitcom.

Thanks for your insight mate, honestly at this point I’m probably the most stress free, cool, calm and collected. I was stressed a bit back which has affected my sleep, diet and workout but I fixed it and now I’m back on my regular 4 day PPL variation split, my diet is 80/20 clean and I’m on maintenance to start cutting in Jan, also age wise shouldn’t really be a problem since I’m mid 20s honestly never had this problem so having it all of a sudden is just weird.

Not really sure about Cialis, Viagara and stuff I might have to do some research here cause they’re foreign to me.

Don’t you worry, there’s more dirty talk with her than any private I have seen.

I’ll give it a watch soon, maybe it’ll take the edge off lol

[GoldfishMan]

You do make some valid points, def try not to think too much about it.

Also where does one buy V exactly, I might have time do some research.

I’ll bring BB when I meet her, I don’t think she’d be opposed to it, if she isn’t I don’t care either.

I just wanna cum with this girl ffs, maybe third times the charm hey.

When I said V, I meant any of the ED meds you can get. You can go for Cialis, Viagra, Levitra and any of their generics. Whatever you feel is better for you.

One of the generics of Viagra is Kamagra. It's the same active component, Sildenafil. The best place to get them from is this site here (they only sell the gel version):
https://www.kamagraoioioi.com/

They're really efficient. You might even be able to get your order before the next meet.

Whatever you do, do NOT get the "Super" Kamagra. That's got medication for premature ejaculation mixed into it, which is gonna make your problem worse!

[TicklishFeet123]

When this problem first happened to me I experimented with Viagra but I found it had side effects. Bad headaches.

Then Cialis, which I had great success with. This is back when it was still under the 7 year patent and very expensive at $15 a pill, but now it is cheaper and you can get generic brands. Funny story, the first time with Cialis I took 20mg, it was so successful that I went punting 4 times in the same night at four different brothels. It was amazing.
A decade later, I would never be so foolish to try that again. I might have a heart attack!

The maintenance dose of Cialis is 5mg every day, and then you are always ready for it. Or else, you can take 10mg or 20mg for one off occasions, just 30 minutes before you need it. I find 20mg is too much for me, and it makes my heart race exactly 2 hours after, for a few hours, which is very disconcerting but not dangerous. That is why I prefer a small dose daily and have no problems at all.

Available through doctor's prescription.

[begov94]

I was spoiled by a working girl with average looks who offered me BB no extra charge. Then one day I got the chance to book a very popular girl who looks incredibly hot but she does only covered services. No matter how much I wanted to stick it in her I just couldn't get hard enough because I got used to frequent BB. So I just had to imagine the condom isn't there to get me hard enough, and imagine that I'm banging the girl I'm used to doing BB with except that now she's suddenly damn hot.

There was a time in my younger days where I BBed someone I met at a party. We were already sober but sex kept going for 2 hours and I couldn't cum. Her pussy just wasn't tight enough for me I guess. Then years later another girl with really tight pussy, BB as well and I came 4 times that whole day. She stayed my place and we kept going that whole day fucking all around the house. My bed was so soaked I had to change the sheets when she left.

[Assandlegs]

Overthinking it will make you fuck it all up.. try to be greedy and cum in the first few minutes.. then concentrate on her for the next hour... then try some assplay, 69
.see where it ends up...

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[JSteel96]

One more thought can your Korean FWB girl spice things up a bit and bring one of her lady friends to join you in the bedroom? I do this often with mine and no chance of not cumming with an extra girl in front of me. It can be double the excitement having a threesome with your FWB. And your mind won't have time to think will you cum or not, you'll be too busy wondering which pussy to do first.

[rooter]

When the right hand doesn't work for me anymore I switch to the left hand.
Then the right hand gets jealous and I go back to it, and it is very thankful I came back and lifts it's game to make sure I never leave it again.

[begov94]

One more thought can your Korean FWB girl spice things up a bit and bring one of her lady friends to join you in the bedroom? I do this often with mine and no chance of not cumming with an extra girl in front of me. It can be double the excitement having a threesome with your FWB. And your mind won't have time to think will you cum or not, you'll be too busy wondering which pussy to do first.

I find tightness to be the factor for me to cum prematurely even using protection. Otherwise if the girl isn't too tight then my way of finishing is to imagine I'm about to BBCIP her.

[begov94]

When the right hand doesn't work for me anymore I switch to the left hand.
Then the right hand gets jealous and I go back to it, and it is very thankful I came back and lifts it's game to make sure I never leave it again.

Wow, both your hands sure are dramatic! On the other hand my left just couldn't get the rhythm right so I prefer sticking to the right.

[TheBigChungus]

Skipped meeting her on Sunday and saw her Today, safe to say it was all in my head. Third time was the charm lol


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[RO1312]

I was spoiled by a working girl with average looks who offered me BB no extra charge. Then one day I got the chance to book a very popular girl who looks incredibly hot but she does only covered services. No matter how much I wanted to stick it in her I just couldn't get hard enough because I got used to frequent BB. So I just had to imagine the condom isn't there to get me hard enough, and imagine that I'm banging the girl I'm used to doing BB with except that now she's suddenly damn hot.

There was a time in my younger days where I BBed someone I met at a party. We were already sober but sex kept going for 2 hours and I couldn't cum. Her pussy just wasn't tight enough for me I guess. Then years later another girl with really tight pussy, BB as well and I came 4 times that whole day. She stayed my place and we kept going that whole day fucking all around the house. My bed was so soaked I had to change the sheets when she left.


I’ve gone through something similar, going BB with a girl that’s had a baby in the last 12-24 months it just didn’t do it for me. I’m not sure if it was me or her, but I’m usually preety sensitive

[keebab]

As long as you're not losing your erection. I'd avoid the cialis/viagra as a solution. You don't sound unhealthy in your description.

It's mental in most cases. I had it with a FWB before as well who was super submissive but in an aggressive way where she needed to be fucked well. I was so focused on her pleasure and giving her everything I could, that I had a really hard time to cum at the end. I took me a while to figure out but I had to realise (and feel) that she wanted my cum as part of the experience and that my orgasm was what I deserved as well. It was a just a mental block. Once I got over this, things worked well. Imagining her as my personal porn-star needing a touch of personal pricasso paint helped me get over the line.

From a practical standpoint, BB is much more sensitive as long as she's wet. Otherwise, a little lube inside the tip of the condom can help with sensitivity and provide you with a better experience.