Steven Seagal
19-05-2013, 08:50 PM
Red Sunset
47 Sydenham Rd.
Sydenham
Phone: 9550 4633
G’Day Mates,
This is a review of Sandy
Today marks the release of the 5th Edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel of the American Psychiatric Association (DSM V).
For those of you unaware of DSM 5, it is a compendium of psychiatric disorders and is used by Western shrinks and psychologists to assess those deemed to have psychiatric issues. In this edition they have invented over 20 new disorders and have broadened the definition of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to include about anything under the sun that causes discomfort. So be careful not to let mamasan short change you $5 or you may require some medication via Big Pharma.
What is even more interesting is the disorder they have omitted. This disorder is called Steven Seagal Syndrome whose definition is below:
Steven Seagal Syndrome: This is a chronic disorder for which there is as yet no treatment. It is characterised by the following:
1. Delusional optimism i.e. Optimistic thinking that is maintained in the most tragic of situations.
2. Delusional thinking i.e. Things will get better at some stage.
3. Compulsive pattern formation i.e. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.
4. Dissociation of affect i.e. Inappropriately feeling it is funny to have this disorder.
I have Steven Seagal Syndrome. I have returned to Red Sunset with the clear expectation of a good outcome, continued my pattern of dud punts, remained optimistic and laughed at the whole thing.
Before I arrived I called to confirm that the price was $100 for the hour. (Damn that blonde headed Asian, ignoramus mamasan that changed me $120 and more fool me for paying it!)
I arrived and was allocated Sandy. Now, I have read a review of Sandy and I believe that review was accurate. I can well imagine that she could, if she wanted, blow out all your sexual candles and cock as well.
Let me start by saying Sandy claimed to be 35, but I think she is closer to 50. She has an attractive face, a bit of a tummy, C-cups and a trimmed pussy. Poor English, but enough to get by.
Now, here’s the strange bit, she would do pretty much whatever I wanted BUT had a crook look on her face and sighed so much she could literally blow out all the candles on all our birthday cakes in that one session.
The bbj had all the energy of a bloke going to the gallows and in cowgirl she looked like she’s just finished a triple shift at the pickle factory.
About every two minutes she said “You want handjob?” Well after 40 min., and little Steven only looking like semi-al dente spaghetti, I said ‘Ok handjob”.
Folks that handjob was like she was strangling a chook! My wee-wee hurt. I’d had enough and got off the bed and started putting on my clothes. She then came to life and offered me the world and all the pleasure I could partake of.
I’d had enough, my wee-wee had enough and my wallet was lighter.
As I left the following conversation ensued with papasan;
Papasan: How was it?
Seagal: Hopeless. If she doesn’t want to work she should take a sickie.
Papasan: I’ve had complaints about her.
Seagal: Then why the fuck did you give her to me?
Papasan: (Facial expression that says “This is the moment I don’t speak English”)
I cut my losses and split.
Like I said, I can imagine that she could provide great service AND maybe I caught her on a bad fuck day. Then again, in a sense, she did fuck me over.
Will I return? Well, I do have Steven Seagal Syndrome.
Steven
47 Sydenham Rd.
Sydenham
Phone: 9550 4633
G’Day Mates,
This is a review of Sandy
Today marks the release of the 5th Edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel of the American Psychiatric Association (DSM V).
For those of you unaware of DSM 5, it is a compendium of psychiatric disorders and is used by Western shrinks and psychologists to assess those deemed to have psychiatric issues. In this edition they have invented over 20 new disorders and have broadened the definition of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to include about anything under the sun that causes discomfort. So be careful not to let mamasan short change you $5 or you may require some medication via Big Pharma.
What is even more interesting is the disorder they have omitted. This disorder is called Steven Seagal Syndrome whose definition is below:
Steven Seagal Syndrome: This is a chronic disorder for which there is as yet no treatment. It is characterised by the following:
1. Delusional optimism i.e. Optimistic thinking that is maintained in the most tragic of situations.
2. Delusional thinking i.e. Things will get better at some stage.
3. Compulsive pattern formation i.e. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.
4. Dissociation of affect i.e. Inappropriately feeling it is funny to have this disorder.
I have Steven Seagal Syndrome. I have returned to Red Sunset with the clear expectation of a good outcome, continued my pattern of dud punts, remained optimistic and laughed at the whole thing.
Before I arrived I called to confirm that the price was $100 for the hour. (Damn that blonde headed Asian, ignoramus mamasan that changed me $120 and more fool me for paying it!)
I arrived and was allocated Sandy. Now, I have read a review of Sandy and I believe that review was accurate. I can well imagine that she could, if she wanted, blow out all your sexual candles and cock as well.
Let me start by saying Sandy claimed to be 35, but I think she is closer to 50. She has an attractive face, a bit of a tummy, C-cups and a trimmed pussy. Poor English, but enough to get by.
Now, here’s the strange bit, she would do pretty much whatever I wanted BUT had a crook look on her face and sighed so much she could literally blow out all the candles on all our birthday cakes in that one session.
The bbj had all the energy of a bloke going to the gallows and in cowgirl she looked like she’s just finished a triple shift at the pickle factory.
About every two minutes she said “You want handjob?” Well after 40 min., and little Steven only looking like semi-al dente spaghetti, I said ‘Ok handjob”.
Folks that handjob was like she was strangling a chook! My wee-wee hurt. I’d had enough and got off the bed and started putting on my clothes. She then came to life and offered me the world and all the pleasure I could partake of.
I’d had enough, my wee-wee had enough and my wallet was lighter.
As I left the following conversation ensued with papasan;
Papasan: How was it?
Seagal: Hopeless. If she doesn’t want to work she should take a sickie.
Papasan: I’ve had complaints about her.
Seagal: Then why the fuck did you give her to me?
Papasan: (Facial expression that says “This is the moment I don’t speak English”)
I cut my losses and split.
Like I said, I can imagine that she could provide great service AND maybe I caught her on a bad fuck day. Then again, in a sense, she did fuck me over.
Will I return? Well, I do have Steven Seagal Syndrome.
Steven