General talk how do you explain your absence when u punt ? [Archive] - Aus99 Forum

the wizard

01-06-2013, 09:12 AM

How do you explain your absence when u punt frm family, wives, partners , even work collegues ?

When Ginza was in the city i would dissapear for several hrs in a day on the weekend and my Gf at the time started asking where i was going and doing.
Even though it is only for a short time, have you had to do some quick thinking to explain ?.
Do you think that they might suspect ?

Im having trouble explaining my weight loss-I blame one Wl in particular- my fav who really gives me a good work out.( and me her )
She knows who she is....:)

Ethanhunt

01-06-2013, 09:16 AM

Well I usually go during work hours. So for me it is always a doctors appointment if anyone asks.

Max Impact

01-06-2013, 09:18 AM

Just going out to get some milk.

AHLUNGOR

01-06-2013, 09:32 AM

Well, it's good that all my staff know I have got a back problem!

So every fortnight I have an appointment in the city with my Physio !

Then every other doctor , dentist and work appointment, lunch with clients and afternoon time going to the bank etc are just usually longer that's all.

And Saturday is best as I am the only person in the office! Just that most of my favourite MLs don't work on Sat !!

Cheers

Gucci2012

01-06-2013, 09:59 AM

I'm fortunate that my boss spends all of 30minutes at work for our managers meeting and is gone for the rest of the day.

I'm also fortunate that other than him no one else has the privilege to ask that question of me. But end of financial year means bonus time, and come September I'm going to go bananas with my favorite agencies and wl's, so I'll have to be around work more to show I'm around and working hard.

CunningLinguist

01-06-2013, 10:17 AM

Excuses:

Went to work
Went shopping, didn't have what I wanted
Went for a drive
Went for a swim/run/etc
Went to pick up an ebay purchase (grab something on the way out)
Went for accupuncture

Never say:

you went to someones place unless you prearrange with them to lie about it. Even then bad idea as they may forget.
you went for a legit massage, as she wont' believe you, and you will get questions:

was there a happy ending ?
was she naked ?
which place did you go to
what is their phone number and address

the wizard

01-06-2013, 10:35 AM

Sextus

01-06-2013, 12:54 PM

I'm having trouble explaining my weight loss.

Have you shed a few kg's Wizard? Good on you, you'll look and feel much better for it. Get into some photos at the moment and you'll see what I mean when / if you stack them back on. We associate fat so much with the stomach, but you'd be surprised how much it shows on the face too.

On the subterfuge front, one guy I spoke to said that he couldn't trim his garden right back / shave his balls because his gf would get very suspicious about why he'd done it. Trouble is, he really needs to, surely he can think of some reason. In fact, he was one of the guys at the Lily event. I had to photoshop a lot of it away - do what his scissors should be doing. I know it disgusts Wl's - the poor dears. Apart from the look, they fear what it may be hiding. The last thing I ever want from a wl is disgust.

the wizard

01-06-2013, 01:05 PM

Have you shed a few kg's Wizard? Good on you, you'll look and feel much better for it. Get into some photos at the moment and you'll see what I mean when / if you stack them back on. We associate fat so much with the stomach, but you'd be surprised how much it shows on the face too.

The problem is Sextus nothing fits me, I need to and I am buying a new wardrobe- just got back from the shops actually.
Where I was wearing extra large shirts I'm now down to medium and would you believe I purchased a size small today.
I feel great though...

one guy I spoke to said that he couldn't trim his garden right back / shave his balls because his gf would get very suspicious about why he'd done it. Trouble is, he really needs to. surely he can think of some reason.

I recon that would give him away pretty quickly don't you think ?

PhoBot

01-06-2013, 01:10 PM

Off to Bunnings :)

CunningLinguist

01-06-2013, 02:05 PM

On the subterfuge front, one guy I spoke to said that he couldn't trim his garden right back / shave his balls because his gf would get very suspicious about why he'd done it. Trouble is, he really needs to, surely he can think of some reason.

You can always say you had an operation, or you might even be able to swing it with an ultrasound.
What the operation was for, if your asked the answer is: "Don't ask"

CunningLinguist

01-06-2013, 02:07 PM

Off to Bunnings :)

Bunnings is such a big place you can literally spend hours there and end up forgetting what you were after and come home empty handed ...
Sometimes they don't have what you want so you have to visit one of their other stores as well, and they may not have it either ...
Hehe :)

Sextus

01-06-2013, 02:17 PM

I reckon that would give him away pretty quickly don't you think ?

I think you could easily do it without arousing suspicion. Just build up to it. Make comments that you think you are too hairy. Wonder out aloud to her why it is ok to cut your head hair and shave your face but OH NO! everything else is utterly untouchable, and so precious - particularly the long gangly hairs on your balls that you insist on shoving into the wl's mouth - or the thick forests above harbouring moist, noisome smells and f**k knows what else. After all, down there:

Every hair is sacred
Every hair is great
If a hair is wasted
God get quite irate

Or not.

If we took the same attitude to our head and faces we'd all look like f**king neanderthals walking around grunting and dragging our knuckles on the ground.

And say that you are influenced by porn too.
The point is your wife / gf will also be grateful! :grimace:

aussiegaigin

01-06-2013, 03:20 PM

Bunnings is such a big place you can literally spend hours there and end up forgetting what you were after and come home empty handed ...
Sometimes they don't have what you want so you have to visit one of their other stores as well, and they may not have it either ...
Hehe :)
Bunnings is such a big place, I keep finding things I never knew even existed, but after seeing them I think they might come in handy one day, so I buy some and they sit in the cupboard for years. When the time comes and I do need one I forget about the one in the cupboard and go out and buy another one. As for using Bunnings as an excuse, if I don't bring something home from there the Mrs will get suspicious.

As for other excuses, I mainly work from home, but I often have to go to the city or somewhere else to visit a client or do some "research". It is amazing what I learn in a MS.

PhoBot

01-06-2013, 03:46 PM

PunterBoy

01-06-2013, 04:55 PM

I just say I went for a happy ending massage! Then when I'm asked, seriously, where did you go? I'd say: "oh, just went for a doc appointment" :-)

PunterBoy

01-06-2013, 04:56 PM

I may add that I often go after work, when the doctor's office is closed. Then I'd say I stayed late for work, went to then gym or went out with a friend.

wilisno

01-06-2013, 04:57 PM

I don't know if I'm lucky or unlucky, I don't have to explain to anyone.

CunningLinguist

01-06-2013, 05:02 PM

I just say I went for a happy ending massage! Then when I'm asked, seriously, where did you go? I'd say: "oh, just went for a doc appointment" :-)

You are playing with fire!
Even bringing up the subject is bad, as it will linger in the subconscious, and be mentioned to friends etc.
The first rule of punt club is ...

CunningLinguist

01-06-2013, 05:03 PM

I don't know if I'm lucky or unlucky, I don't have to explain to anyone.

No wonder you have so much time to punt and post ...

wilisno

01-06-2013, 05:05 PM

No wonder you have so much time to punt and post ...

Yep, I do what I like, I don't have to cheat, when I was in a relationship, I never punted.

Sextus

01-06-2013, 05:07 PM

I don't know if I'm lucky or unlucky, I don't have to explain to anyone.

A very philosophical comment!

Oneonone

01-06-2013, 05:20 PM

Wife knows not to ask the daughter asked me once which caught me by surprise and I just said to see a friend of mine.

Divine

01-06-2013, 05:23 PM

Someone should make a sticky thread on: List of possible excuses used to go for a punt.
Include categories of: Wife, Girlfriend, Family, Friends, Work

I do not need to explain for my absences when I punt!

CunningLinguist

01-06-2013, 05:34 PM

Yep, I do what I like, I don't have to cheat, when I was in a relationship, I never punted.

Must have been a short one then :)

wilisno

01-06-2013, 06:01 PM

Must have been a short one then :)

Umm ... about 15 years ...

CunningLinguist

01-06-2013, 06:08 PM

Umm ... about 15 years ...

So you went without punting for 15 years!
I guess you are making up for it now :)

wilisno

01-06-2013, 06:11 PM

So you went without punting for 15 years!
I guess you are making up for it now :)

Pretty much so ! :miao: And I've got too much love to give ! :miao:

aussiegaigin

01-06-2013, 06:40 PM

Plus, you can say one Bunnings didn't have what you want, so you drove to another one...

Ummm., he did say that

Sextus

01-06-2013, 06:56 PM

And I've got too much love to give ! :miao:

awww.....:red_heart:

That is what the world needs more of they say wilisno!

wilisno

01-06-2013, 07:00 PM

awww.....:red_heart:

That is what the world needs more of they say wilisno!
Wouldn't that be perfect if everyone feels the same way ? ;) ;) ;)

the wizard

02-06-2013, 10:21 PM

I feel for you guys who are in a relationship and have to find excuses to go out and punt and also make sure you don't come back with tell tale signs. It can't be easy!

I'm no longer in a relationship, but if I was I probably would stop punting all together.

Sextus

02-06-2013, 10:33 PM

family emergency

A 75 minute family emergency! :shout:

Sextus

02-06-2013, 10:33 PM

mmm. How did I end up there when it is a response to Brother rooter's post down there?

rooter

02-06-2013, 10:40 PM

mmm. How did I end up there when it is a response to Brother rooter's post down there?

A lot of weird stuff is happening since the maintenance !!!!

rooter

02-06-2013, 10:40 PM

mmm. How did I end up there when it is a response to Brother rooter's post down there?

A lot of weird stuff is happening since the maintenance !!!!

wilisno

02-06-2013, 10:43 PM

A lot of weird stuff is happening since the maintenance !!!!

Umm ... the clock I think !

the wizard

02-06-2013, 10:43 PM

A lot of weird stuff is happening since the maintenance !!!!

Sounds like a episode of DOCTOR WHO....

Damn I missed all the vivid stuff on the good Doc this weekend...

rooter

02-06-2013, 10:48 PM

Umm ... the clock I think !

Yes, you are right. The clock is actually correct now. They finally fixed it after 12 months :)
but there were a whole bunch of posts posted when the clock was set around 24 hours fast.
So the new posts are appearing below those ones.
It will sort itself out by tomorrow.

Ethanhunt

02-06-2013, 11:37 PM

Don't you have a shower after a session? Perfume is not really a problem on a wl. Strong smelling massage oils from a ml on the other hand..

CunningLinguist

02-06-2013, 11:56 PM

A lot of weird stuff is happening since the maintenance !!!!

You can say that again!

CunningLinguist

02-06-2013, 11:56 PM

A lot of weird stuff is happening since the maintenance !!!!

You can say that again!
Uh, you did :)

CunningLinguist

02-06-2013, 11:58 PM

Don't you have a shower after a session? Perfume is not really a problem on a wl. Strong smelling massage oils from a ml on the other hand..

Perfume smell gets in your hair, hair aborbs odours.

karlasyd

03-06-2013, 01:40 AM

oh... now I know where mu future bf goes when he says he is going for a doc appointment, or bunnings... :miao:

IExperiment

03-06-2013, 01:56 AM

oh... now I know where mu future bf goes when he says he is going for a doc appointment, or bunnings... :miao:

Karla just make sure you give your future BF once or twice a day and I am sure he will be satisfied :)
I used to get it twice a day so there nothing to give to others she is a smart one :) but now with my very busy schedule I am happy with once every two days, yes I still think about it now and than, but just to much work.
I prefer organize a proper one :) I dont like quickie as I prefer quality time.

Punted-till-Munted

03-06-2013, 04:55 AM

What about at night guys?

I'm usually busy working during the day.

Come home to spend some family time.....

only free late at night, around this time.....

browse this forum "incognito" mode

*sigh*

Gucci2012

03-06-2013, 05:29 AM

I don't know if I'm lucky or unlucky, I don't have to explain to anyone.

Lucky.........I'll get there one day.

rooter

03-06-2013, 05:42 AM

From home it's no problem as I am a single guy.
From work the usual excuses, medical appointment, dentist, family emergency, or just take a long lunch.
I feel for you guys who are in a relationship and have to find excuses to go out and punt and also make sure you don't come back with tell tale signs. It can't be easy!

CunningLinguist

03-06-2013, 05:50 AM

CunningLinguist

03-06-2013, 09:12 AM

oh... now I know where mu future bf goes when he says he is going for a doc appointment, or bunnings... :miao:

If you service him in the morning he should be right to get past the lunch time danger period and also make it home. Then if you service him in the evening he won't need any evening doctors appointments :)

Travelmate

03-06-2013, 10:42 AM

I don't know if I'm lucky or unlucky, I don't have to explain to anyone.

I do not give a S H I T

AHLUNGOR

03-06-2013, 10:54 AM

oh... now I know where mu future bf goes when he says he is going for a doc appointment, or bunnings... :miao:

Hi Karla,

There is only one way to keep your BF faithful or all of him to yourself, that is to give him as much sex as he would ever want and EMPTY all his bullets !!

Give me a blow job every morning, sorry, I meant "Him", so he will be a good boy until lunch time ! and assure him that there will be another one as soon as he comes home tonight !! - or if you are in the mood, fuck him good before dinner. And if he is still horny (or you are), another round as a night cab !!

Just my two cents

Cheers

ps. the key is, fuck him as much as you can, and if you have a headache or period or simply too tired or not in the mood, still give him a blow job, a hand job or a tits job. If he is getting plenty at home, he won't be looking outside.

Good luck !

:cool2:

PhoBot

03-06-2013, 11:03 AM

Which is why perfumed WLs are a bad idea!
This is the biggest giveaway, and the hardest to get rid of!

Here's a tip, if you're on your way home after a punt and fear you smell of perfume, pull into the servo nearest to your house and get a but of petrol on yourself. Don't walk in and make a big deal, just go up to your partner and she will tell you stink of petrol and tell you to have a shower.

Travelmate

03-06-2013, 11:23 AM

Hi Karla,

There is only one way to keep your BF faithful or all of him to yourself, that is to give him as much sex as he would ever want and EMPTY all his bullets !!

Give me a blow job every morning, sorry, I meant "Him", so he will be a good boy until lunch time ! and assure him that there will be another one as soon as he comes home tonight !! - or if you are in the mood, fuck him good before dinner. And if he is still horny (or you are), another round as a night cab !!

Just my two cents

Cheers

ps. the key is, fuck him as much as you can, and if you have a headache or period or simply too tired or not in the mood, still give him a blow job, a hand job or a tits job. If he is getting plenty at home, he won't be looking outside.

Good luck !

:cool2:

Are you serious or joking???

If this is all true.. will he get bored quicker?

lyksj333

13-06-2013, 02:46 PM

I think "been to gym" is the best idea as you are technically not lying!

micazzofamale

13-06-2013, 11:18 PM

studying at the moment.... so usually go to the office to "study" on a saturday...

lyksj333

13-06-2013, 11:38 PM

I think the issue gets trickier if you and your partner/wife keeps close contact during work time via email etc. And yes it does happen to be the case for some people.

Chucky

14-06-2013, 02:39 PM

Just say you got a massage at one of the local shopping centre places. Usually you have a wait a little while, so that explains the 90min you were away!!

Chucky

14-06-2013, 02:39 PM

Just say you got a massage at one of the local shopping centre places. Usually you have a wait a little while, so that explains the 90min you were away!!

And it also explains the oil

CunningLinguist

14-06-2013, 05:49 PM

Just say you got a massage at one of the local shopping centre places. Usually you have a wait a little while, so that explains the 90min you were away!!

So you got a massage Chucky ?
Was it a man or a woman ?
How old was she ?
Were you naked ?
Was she naked ?
Did she touch your penis ?
...