Steven Seagal
11-07-2013, 09:10 PM
Chinese Massage
25 Oxford Rd Ingleburn
Phone: 0466763328
Hi Gang,
This is a review of Ella.
I was going to begin this review with a line that said something like “Tonight it is as cold as buggery”. I thought about this and wondered why I would write that or why the expression was ever even used. I mean is buggery cold?
I looked up buggery in the dictionary and discovered it meant:
buggery [ˈbʌgərɪ]
n
anal intercourse between a man and another man, a woman, or an animal Compare sodomy
Now I am not an expert on buggery, but I have committed it a few times with Vicky, Apple and YuYu at 12 Bellevue. It was a pretty sultry experience with beads of sweat pouring down my face like hot water from a tap.. I did not experience frostbite or have the need to put on a coat. As for the man and animal bit, I leave that to others.
I suspect former PM Bob Hawke knows more about buggery than I do. Years ago when a pensioner was dumping heaps of shit on him he responded with ‘Shut up you silly old bugger!” Presumably, given that statement, one would prefer to be a un-silly young bugger. Let me be clear. I am not an expert of buggery even though I have buggered as a ‘buggerer’ and never plan to be a ‘buggeree’
Anyway I thought the whole thing over and am not opening with that ‘cold as buggery’ comment.
Where was I? Oh yes, writing a review of Ella.
I was riding around aimlessly, as usual, with my nephew Diddy. He had seen some girl in an rnt place last year named Queenie and the itch that needed to be scratched caught up with him. She worked in a Chinese massage joint in Ingleburn and so Ingleburn it was.
I decided to go to another Chinese rnt across the road. I think I had drunk about 10 litres of coffee that morning and folks I had to piss like you wouldn’t believe. I was literally doing the boogaloo to avoid wetting in my strides.
Anyway I entered the joint, and a buzzer went off at the bottom of the stairs and another when I reached the top. A cute massage lady greeted me at the top and remarked “You moved up those stairs fast”” I asked her where the Men’s’ Room was and she informed me it was busted BUT agreed to stand outside and keep any women out while I went in. I think as soon as I went in she went back to the parlour as when I finished I bumped into a women coming in. At that moment the following exchanged occurred:
Woman; What are you doing in there?
A number of thoughts went through my mind. I thought of saying:
" I am the council inspector checking the pipes.”
“ I am a Jehovah’s Witness wanting to invite everyone who pisses to church.”
“ I am a transman who is a biological woman.”
“ I am collecting for the Red Cross.”
You’ll notice the truth was not in any of them. I should have simply said ‘The male john is busted and I came in here to piss”. Instead, being nonplussed, I relied:
Steven; I don’t know.
Woman: You don’t know?
Steven: No.
Woman: Should I call the coppers?
Steven: Bye.
I disappeared into the massage parlour where I was assigned Ella. Ella is the lady who abandoned me outside the ladies room.
Ella had a nice face, looked late 20’s, b-cups with reasonable English. She has extras written all over her and yes she offered extras. I asked for a medium massage and that’s what I got and she was not bad at it. Her English was pretty good and like I said, I thought she was pretty.
I asked her what days she worked there (saw her on a Firday0 and she went through this huge, complicated number of places where she operates from. I would have needed a foolscap notepad with 110 pages to have worked it out. For all I know every fifth Thursday she’s pulling dicks in Oxnard, California.
She’s a nice lady and I did enjoy myself. On the way out I saw what looked like the mamasan named Tina and I plan to return and sample her wares at some stage as she told me she massages too.
Poor Diddy didn’t see Queenie as she was on holidays. Instead he got a cranky milf. Oh well, better luck next time Diddy.
Well, I will close for now. When summer comes I’ll open a review with ‘It was as hot a buggery” as I think that’s closer to the truth.
See you again soon friends.
Until that time . . .until that time.
Steven
25 Oxford Rd Ingleburn
Phone: 0466763328
Hi Gang,
This is a review of Ella.
I was going to begin this review with a line that said something like “Tonight it is as cold as buggery”. I thought about this and wondered why I would write that or why the expression was ever even used. I mean is buggery cold?
I looked up buggery in the dictionary and discovered it meant:
buggery [ˈbʌgərɪ]
n
anal intercourse between a man and another man, a woman, or an animal Compare sodomy
Now I am not an expert on buggery, but I have committed it a few times with Vicky, Apple and YuYu at 12 Bellevue. It was a pretty sultry experience with beads of sweat pouring down my face like hot water from a tap.. I did not experience frostbite or have the need to put on a coat. As for the man and animal bit, I leave that to others.
I suspect former PM Bob Hawke knows more about buggery than I do. Years ago when a pensioner was dumping heaps of shit on him he responded with ‘Shut up you silly old bugger!” Presumably, given that statement, one would prefer to be a un-silly young bugger. Let me be clear. I am not an expert of buggery even though I have buggered as a ‘buggerer’ and never plan to be a ‘buggeree’
Anyway I thought the whole thing over and am not opening with that ‘cold as buggery’ comment.
Where was I? Oh yes, writing a review of Ella.
I was riding around aimlessly, as usual, with my nephew Diddy. He had seen some girl in an rnt place last year named Queenie and the itch that needed to be scratched caught up with him. She worked in a Chinese massage joint in Ingleburn and so Ingleburn it was.
I decided to go to another Chinese rnt across the road. I think I had drunk about 10 litres of coffee that morning and folks I had to piss like you wouldn’t believe. I was literally doing the boogaloo to avoid wetting in my strides.
Anyway I entered the joint, and a buzzer went off at the bottom of the stairs and another when I reached the top. A cute massage lady greeted me at the top and remarked “You moved up those stairs fast”” I asked her where the Men’s’ Room was and she informed me it was busted BUT agreed to stand outside and keep any women out while I went in. I think as soon as I went in she went back to the parlour as when I finished I bumped into a women coming in. At that moment the following exchanged occurred:
Woman; What are you doing in there?
A number of thoughts went through my mind. I thought of saying:
" I am the council inspector checking the pipes.”
“ I am a Jehovah’s Witness wanting to invite everyone who pisses to church.”
“ I am a transman who is a biological woman.”
“ I am collecting for the Red Cross.”
You’ll notice the truth was not in any of them. I should have simply said ‘The male john is busted and I came in here to piss”. Instead, being nonplussed, I relied:
Steven; I don’t know.
Woman: You don’t know?
Steven: No.
Woman: Should I call the coppers?
Steven: Bye.
I disappeared into the massage parlour where I was assigned Ella. Ella is the lady who abandoned me outside the ladies room.
Ella had a nice face, looked late 20’s, b-cups with reasonable English. She has extras written all over her and yes she offered extras. I asked for a medium massage and that’s what I got and she was not bad at it. Her English was pretty good and like I said, I thought she was pretty.
I asked her what days she worked there (saw her on a Firday0 and she went through this huge, complicated number of places where she operates from. I would have needed a foolscap notepad with 110 pages to have worked it out. For all I know every fifth Thursday she’s pulling dicks in Oxnard, California.
She’s a nice lady and I did enjoy myself. On the way out I saw what looked like the mamasan named Tina and I plan to return and sample her wares at some stage as she told me she massages too.
Poor Diddy didn’t see Queenie as she was on holidays. Instead he got a cranky milf. Oh well, better luck next time Diddy.
Well, I will close for now. When summer comes I’ll open a review with ‘It was as hot a buggery” as I think that’s closer to the truth.
See you again soon friends.
Until that time . . .until that time.
Steven