cmk76
08-08-2013, 02:07 PM
http://blog.chinalovematch.net/blog/article/Showers-Before-Sex
Showers Before Sex
By Peter Vernezze
This is a hodgepodge of topics I’ve stored away but have never been able to gather enough material for a column. Since each seemed inherently interesting, I thought it was time to throw them together rather than throw them out. You may disagree. If there is a theme (and I’m not promising) it’s that they illustrate small ways in which Chinese women behave differently than Western women.
Showers before sex.
If you are dating a Chinese woman, expect to take a shower before having sex. Most of you already know this, but if you don’t it can come as a bit of a shock. At least it did to me. In fact, I have never spoken to other Westerners about this and so am not sure how they feel about this. Personally, this is something I have not been able to get used to. It bugs me, though I am not quite sure why. True, the request strikes me as irrational, like taking a shower before going running. But I don’t think this is what bothers me--an irrational request from a woman is hardly unknown in the West. Perhaps it is because the request for a shower before sex seems indicative of a particular attitude towards not only sex but love/marriage issues in general. Just like many marriages in China are the result not of passion but of practical reason, so there is a decided lack of passion in hopping into the shower before bursting into the bedroom (in fact I would argue one cannot burst into a bedroom after hopping into a shower). It makes the whole thing seem too planned for my taste.
To be fair, there is a sense in which a much more positive spin can be put on the sex before shower thing. The whole western idea of not taking a shower before sex may be related to the Christian idea that sex is dirty, and if sex is dirty than why not be dirty when doing it. So the lack of a shower before sex may illustrate this particularly pernicious Western standpoint. By contrast, the Chinese attitude of showering before sex can be seen as implying that sex is a pure, good thing so you should be pure and clean when undertaking it. Of course, it is one thing to agree with the theory, which I do, and quite another to appreciate the application of the theory, which I decidedly do not.
Body Hair
Guys, if you are of Mediterranean descent or some other nationality where body hair is particularly prominent, expect to have this pointed out to you quite often by Chinese women—and not as a compliment. Again, this hit me by surprise. In America if I did hear anything about my body hair, it was invariably positive, given that Mediterranean descent is often seen as related to virility. Not here. Get used to the terms monkey, ape, and baboon, and to having your body hair pawed at and picked over as if you were from another planet (which in a sense you are). The response is understandable. As human beings, we feel comfortable with what is familiar, and Chinese guys are decidedly void of body hair. But just because I comprehend why we hairy men seem so strange, it doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Condoms
A final difference involves the use of condoms. Lining almost every grocery store check out counter, condoms are much more available in China than in America. Nevertheless, I have found many more Chinese women than American women are not really concerned about the use of condoms. I believe the explanation is the poor quality of sex education in China, which inevitably leads to a true lack of awareness of the dangers of unprotected sex. On the bright side, if you like unprotected sex, you are a lot likelier to find it in China; however, if you like unprotected sex, you are an idiot. Actually, my main point in bringing up this issue is to warn folks about a strain of gonorrhea that is rapidly becoming resistant to all known antibiotics and is without exaggeration being compared to the AIDS epidemic. The particularly dangerous thing about this is that it is not only transmitted through intercourse but equally through the one variety of oral sex that does not make men gag. Here is a recent New Yorker article on the topic http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/10/01/121001fa_fact_groopman I would recommend to everyone.
Showers Before Sex
By Peter Vernezze
This is a hodgepodge of topics I’ve stored away but have never been able to gather enough material for a column. Since each seemed inherently interesting, I thought it was time to throw them together rather than throw them out. You may disagree. If there is a theme (and I’m not promising) it’s that they illustrate small ways in which Chinese women behave differently than Western women.
Showers before sex.
If you are dating a Chinese woman, expect to take a shower before having sex. Most of you already know this, but if you don’t it can come as a bit of a shock. At least it did to me. In fact, I have never spoken to other Westerners about this and so am not sure how they feel about this. Personally, this is something I have not been able to get used to. It bugs me, though I am not quite sure why. True, the request strikes me as irrational, like taking a shower before going running. But I don’t think this is what bothers me--an irrational request from a woman is hardly unknown in the West. Perhaps it is because the request for a shower before sex seems indicative of a particular attitude towards not only sex but love/marriage issues in general. Just like many marriages in China are the result not of passion but of practical reason, so there is a decided lack of passion in hopping into the shower before bursting into the bedroom (in fact I would argue one cannot burst into a bedroom after hopping into a shower). It makes the whole thing seem too planned for my taste.
To be fair, there is a sense in which a much more positive spin can be put on the sex before shower thing. The whole western idea of not taking a shower before sex may be related to the Christian idea that sex is dirty, and if sex is dirty than why not be dirty when doing it. So the lack of a shower before sex may illustrate this particularly pernicious Western standpoint. By contrast, the Chinese attitude of showering before sex can be seen as implying that sex is a pure, good thing so you should be pure and clean when undertaking it. Of course, it is one thing to agree with the theory, which I do, and quite another to appreciate the application of the theory, which I decidedly do not.
Body Hair
Guys, if you are of Mediterranean descent or some other nationality where body hair is particularly prominent, expect to have this pointed out to you quite often by Chinese women—and not as a compliment. Again, this hit me by surprise. In America if I did hear anything about my body hair, it was invariably positive, given that Mediterranean descent is often seen as related to virility. Not here. Get used to the terms monkey, ape, and baboon, and to having your body hair pawed at and picked over as if you were from another planet (which in a sense you are). The response is understandable. As human beings, we feel comfortable with what is familiar, and Chinese guys are decidedly void of body hair. But just because I comprehend why we hairy men seem so strange, it doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Condoms
A final difference involves the use of condoms. Lining almost every grocery store check out counter, condoms are much more available in China than in America. Nevertheless, I have found many more Chinese women than American women are not really concerned about the use of condoms. I believe the explanation is the poor quality of sex education in China, which inevitably leads to a true lack of awareness of the dangers of unprotected sex. On the bright side, if you like unprotected sex, you are a lot likelier to find it in China; however, if you like unprotected sex, you are an idiot. Actually, my main point in bringing up this issue is to warn folks about a strain of gonorrhea that is rapidly becoming resistant to all known antibiotics and is without exaggeration being compared to the AIDS epidemic. The particularly dangerous thing about this is that it is not only transmitted through intercourse but equally through the one variety of oral sex that does not make men gag. Here is a recent New Yorker article on the topic http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/10/01/121001fa_fact_groopman I would recommend to everyone.