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View Full Version : Review - Miley Heart Aussie Brisbane Escort



Seeressofkell
02-12-2013, 11:05 AM
I met up today with the advertised 24 years young Ms Miley Heart at a CBD location for a one hour full service GFE incall; the report below represents my account of proceedings.

Sent her an SMS 24 hours prior to my proposed time and was surprised to receive a response confirming availability almost immediately. She deferred revealing the actual location of the meet until the next day, 3 hours prior to the appointment time. It was at this time that she confirmed the location of the meet (major hotel in CBD), and also answered some of the questions I had around her GFE inclusions; kissing, DATY, multiple cum - all yes, confirmed inclusions. Giddy-up.

She instructed me to announce my presence via SMS upon arrival to the hotel bar, following which a discreet rendezvous at the central lifts was deemed the most appropriate. Let me quickly say at this point that whilst this type of meeting where the courtesan meets the customer in public can be somewhat risky, the old fashioned nature of actually living up to the job description of an "escort" added a touch of class and was deeply appreciated.

When the lift doors opened an attractive 5'9" girl with shoulder length strawberry blonde hair met me and smiled encouragingly. Miley was dressed in a knee length black pinafore with a wide black patent leather belt and some matching svelte peep toe suede anklet boots. The peep toe was a nice touch, confirming nicely manicured toes with blood red nail polish (matching hands) and immediately satisfied my foot fetish. I could feel the spunk starting to boil in my testicles.

I immediately complimented her on her professional appearance. She graciously accepted with a smile and word of thanks, and then responded in kind. The thirty second lift ride up to the 10th floor comprised the usual small talk conversation /getting to know you niceties and before long we were standing in the narrow corridor of her hotel room.

She commenced proceedings by requesting payment, which led to a quick compliment for counting out the money in front of her (apparently a customer had failed to do so recently which led to an almost contentious moment later on for her). Tick of approval was received via a quick health check of Mr Wobbly; and some of those reading this report will immediately recognise the penis reference, brought to you by Robert G Barrett's main protagonist, Monsieur Les Norton. With the formalities out of the way, a brief shower and a gargle of mouthwash was all that was required and I can honestly say that this was one of the quickest private prep intros that I have had to endure.

During my shower Miley had changed into a sheer red lace camisole which showed enough cleavage and adequately framed her well rounded bottom. Body wise, Miley has: 1) a loose midriff with stretch marks confirming either a previous pregnancy or some fairly serious weight loss; 2) C cup boobs that possibly wouldn't hurt to have augmented, and up close; 3) facial make up somewhat generously applied. Let me say right now to the punters out there that all of this paled into comparison when I experienced that first open mouthed kiss.

Miley's soft lips were gorgeously addictive. My own breath was fresh minted almost overpoweringly so from the earlier mouthwash gargle and detracted somewhat from the intense mouthfest that I was experiencing, but if truth be told I could have quite easily kept on kissing her for the remaining 45 minutes of the session.

She lay back on the queen sized bed and I got on top of her. With the red blood cells starting to pick up the pace in their march down to fill Mr Wobbly, I lightly ran my tongue all over her body, including neck, boobs, nipples, thighs, legs, calves, feet, toes and labia majora.

I love DATY and pride myself on my proven ability to make a woman cum within 5-10 minutes of flipping the switch on my vibrating tongue. Turning my attention to her clitoris, I was a little disappointed at the 5 minute mark to have her hand gently muscle in on the space where my mouth and tongue were doing such good deeds, and her right hand masturbation took over.

It was at this moment that I lay down beside her and she took Mr Wobbly in hand, followed by CBJ. What she lacked in experience and technique, she made up for with youthful exuberance. It lasted 5 minutes (during which I had the makings of of a leg cramp of epic proportions, but managed to will it away without letting the air go out of Mr Wobbly) and then we moved into a pleasant upright cowgirl.

My focus however was to get her into missionary, as that normally leads to my favourite position*, which is flat on her back, knees bent, feet on my chest, slam away in pussy using my cocked knees for maximum leverage, and sucking on delectable toes.

The joy I received from missionary sex was elevated to new levels from the face to face open mouth kissing with this angel. She cocked one leg up under my torso and began to once again rub her clitoris whilst I slowly pounded away in her love tunnel. Her intense climax quickly reached, we moved on to doggy which comprised her on all fours with feet hanging over the edge of the bed, my two feet firmly planted on the floor, and me grabbing her ample soft white fleshy posterior, and then giving her a slow pounding.

I felt the spunk rising like a tidal wave and half grunted, half moaned a quick question to spilling my seed over her creamy bum cheeks; to which she agreed. Exactly 5 seconds later I totally changed my mind, and let my cum spurt buckets into her womb cavity. It was only a minute later that I realised that during doggy she had been reaching back letting her fingers do the walking, twitching almost imperceptibly, switching between massaging my full scrotum; rubbing on her own love button; and ensuring that she wasn't going to be subject to a screaming baby in nine months time by checking to see that the fantastic plastic hadn't slipped off the end of Mr Wobbly.

She gently removed the offending prophylactic and lay down next to me for 7 minutes of chit chat. I checked my watch and was content to see that 25 minutes was still remaining, but was keen to get back in the saddle for a second ride. I guided Miley down to Mr Wobbly, she started sucking, and we eventually found our way into my favourite position (refer * above).

It was at this exact time whilst I was attempting to pop one of her delectable little red painted toes into my mouth, that her Apple iPhone / alarm from hell decided to go off, signalling 5 minutes left of the appointment (my watch said 15). Lets face it, this particular sound from those geniuses at Infinite Loop Cupertino was designed to raise the dead, set submariners into battle mode, and contribute to an immediate soft on. Luckily though I was quite taken with this girl, so the latter wasn't an issue. I ramped up the rate of knots, deployed the spinnaker and set sail. I pounded Miley with the force of a thousand suns and I truly believe that if I had had more time, she would have diddled her nubbin to the point of no return for a second time.

I shot a second load of white creme patissiere up her snatch and fell back into a heap on the bed caked in sweat. Let me tell you, I was spent. A brief shower, a quick mouth kiss on the way out and I was extremely satisfied with the outcum.

Will I go back ? You bet. And this time I ain't having a wank beforehand either.

dubberjas
02-12-2013, 10:31 PM
hey mate nice review and all but a link to a site or contact details would be nice

Seeressofkell
03-12-2013, 12:01 AM
hey mate nice review and all but a link to a site or contact details would be nice

http://www.escortsandbabes.com.au/Profile/mileyheart/QLD.aspx

Exceptional value for an Aussie as well, let me say

xzaq
03-12-2013, 08:07 AM
Nice "review" Miley LOL

ps WTF is a camisole ???

FangBanger
03-12-2013, 05:58 PM
Nice "review" Miley LOL

Glad to see I'm not the only one who was suspicious about this review. I was a little bit reluctant to call it out since I made a very positive review recently on Tiny Valentine but this shit is just on a whole different level. Reminds me of Hanks first review about a chick at Asian Star that was beyond belief.

DirtySanchez
03-12-2013, 07:41 PM
Wow you could instantly tell she 5'9 as she stepped out if the elevator? Not 5'8 or 5'10? Do you carry a measuring tape or ruler with you? Normally I'm looking with my boner first.....

FangBanger
03-12-2013, 10:30 PM
He probably worked it out during the 7 minutes of chit chat. It wasn't 6 or 8 minutes. It was 7 minutes!!!!!

Digger
03-12-2013, 11:14 PM
He probably worked it out during the 7 minutes of chit chat. It wasn't 6 or 8 minutes. It was 7 minutes!!!!!

Yes by the 2nd paragraph a pimp was starting to show. I don't know who writes his/ her stuff, but he/ she is good!!

flamingmoose
04-12-2013, 01:40 AM
I reckon it's legit...sounds like something a "groovy academic" might write..... ;)

butyl
04-12-2013, 07:26 AM
I reckon it's legit...sounds like something a "groovy academic" might write..... ;)

And a David Eddings fan so can't be all bad

DirtySanchez
04-12-2013, 10:26 AM
I have to say though, I'm not sure any punters would know the following information...

"Miley was dressed in a knee length black pinafore with a wide black patent leather belt and some matching svelte peep toe suede anklet boots"

I have no idea what a pinafore is nor do I care. I'm sure fellow punters agree. Punters just do not care not least report this kind if information, not to mention the majority of the report with outstanding information such as "the 30 sec lift ride"

If by any minuscule chance the report is legit then pimps could learn a lot from this review and should study this work. The poster should submit his/her work to a publishers as their work would rival fifty shades of grey and satisfy the desires of millions. The money would start rolling in, the poster would soon become a multi millionaire and be in a great position to sponsor fellow punters to try out as any ladies as possible and report back our detailed reviews for subsequent novels to be released and the cycle can continue ad infinitum.

Biglad
04-12-2013, 10:45 AM
First of all I hate reviews like that. Way too much phoney embellishment, makes me feel queasy! I do however believe it's a genuine review as I don't think any WL or pimp would point out a loose midriff with stretchmarks and saggy boobs.

Thanks to the OP for the review. Just ease up a bit (a lot) on the crapolla!

Blue-Marvel
04-12-2013, 12:48 PM
I did enjoy the read tho.... :shout:

would i try? No
Ill stick to my massages.

kho207bob
04-12-2013, 02:11 PM
Well at least it was written in good English...

ecchi.gaijin
04-12-2013, 02:33 PM
"Punters just do not care not least report this kind if information, not to mention the majority of the report with outstanding information such as "the 30 sec lift ride" "

You're assuming all punters are knuckle dragging apes. I am sure there is one or two out there that can string a few words together in a verbose and over exuberant manner.

DirtySanchez
04-12-2013, 03:09 PM
Under your assumption I am assuming myself to be a knuckle dragging ape who cannot string a few words together In a verbose and over exuberant manner.

I'll let you answer that one as I have clearly now and above strung more than a few words together.

I don't assume all, I assume the majority of punters and I am correct in my assumption. If all or most punters wanted this level of detail, this would not be the first review ever written to this level of detail. Why is that? Because most men do not care for the finer detail.

Let me explain it in simple terms for you. The majority of men do not notice finer detail to this level of detail and if they did it would likely only be their long term partner they could describe to this detail.

Could it be legit, yes. Is it suspicious, yes. I have my opinion and you have yours. In my opinion a lot of these "observations" are very feminine orientated. Do you disagree? How many males can distinguish a camisole, a pinafore and pink suede ankle boots upon a first visit? How does he know her exact height? What is with all the exact time references?

If this is normal, then I'm completely un-normal because I don't use a stopwatch to report to the exact second during a massage. Not is my memory anywhere near this level, even "exactly" 5 minutes after.

ecchi.gaijin
04-12-2013, 06:10 PM
"Under your assumption" - I made no assumption.

"I have clearly now and above strung more than a few words together." - you're overlooking the last part of my sentence.

"I don't assume all" - Yes you did as evident by implying the author was not a punter because of how he wrote.

"Let me explain it in simple terms for you." - You don't need to explain things in simple terms for me, just try typing what you actually mean.

"In my opinion a lot of these "observations" are very feminine orientated. Do you disagree? How many males can distinguish a camisole, a pinafore and pink suede ankle boots upon a first visit? How does he know her exact height? What is with all the exact time references? " - In my opinion it could possibly be an older gentleman or a writer and you not recognising that would suggest to me that you are younger and/or from a different demographic.

DirtySanchez
04-12-2013, 07:00 PM
Apologies to every one else but I'm having fun now.

" I made no assumption." Yes you did. I'm not the one who referenced punters as knuckle dragging apes. I simply stated that punters are not interested in this level of detail.

"I have clearly now and above strung more than a few words together." you're overlooking the last part of my sentence." - No I am not. That would
make 3 of us :)

""I don't assume all" - Yes you did as evident by implying the author was not a punter because of how he wrote"
Incorrect, I said punters don't care. I did not say ALL punters do not care. Punters is plural and assumes the majority. I will accept your apology.

""Let me explain it in simple terms for you." - You don't need to explain things in simple terms for me, just try typing what you actually mean." - Clearly I do because I tried that the first time.

""In my opinion a lot of these "observations" are very feminine orientated. Do you disagree? How many males can distinguish a camisole, a pinafore and pink suede ankle boots upon a first visit? How does he know her exact height? What is with all the exact time references? " - In my opinion it could possibly be an older gentleman or a writer and you not recognising that would suggest to me that you are younger and/or from a different demographic."

It's nothing to do with not recognising that. Yes, the author could be a writer or an astronaut, a wiggle or even a unicorn. It makes no difference to my opinion, to me it is very suspiciously written compared to every other review previously written here. In other words it smells fishy. The style is not the issue here, the content is. Let's assume the author is a writer, do all writers scribe the truth? is this fiction or non-fiction? Maybe she hired a publicist...I'm allowed to assume if you are.

We can have different opinions but that make mine any less valid than yours. At the end of the day one of is wrong and we will probably never know who.

ecchi.gaijin
04-12-2013, 08:11 PM
"Yes you did. I'm not the one who referenced punters as knuckle dragging apes." - Actually no I didn't. Perhaps if you had the intelligence to comprehend what is actually typed you might not be so confused. Let me explain it in simple terms for you (since it is blatantly obvious you need the help). I said "not all punters are knuckle dragging apes" in response to what YOU said. That means I inferred what YOU said to imply that they were all knuckle dragging apes and I was disagreeing. See the difference or should I use smaller words?

"Incorrect, I said punters don't care. I did not say ALL punters do not care." - The use of "punters" alone implies all. You didn't say most, some or a few therefore you implied all by default.

"author could be a writer or an astronaut, a wiggle or even a unicorn. It makes no difference to my opinion" - Nothing to add here, you're proving my point about you perfectly :)

"but I'm having fun now." - Proving your own lack of intelligence is fun?

Now if you wish to continue having "fun" at the expense of the rest of the board then feel free to make another moronic post. I ignored the last dimwit that wanted to drag on with an argument and I intend to do it again.

DirtySanchez
04-12-2013, 08:49 PM
Resorting to insults now? Wow and I am the one with lack of intelligence.

""Incorrect, I said punters don't care. I did not say ALL punters do not care." - The use of "punters" alone implies all. You didn't say most, some or a few therefore you implied all by default."
Again we disagree. I cannot fathom how stating that punters (yes plural) do not care about the minuscule details written implys punters (again plural) are knuckle dragging apes?

""author could be a writer or an astronaut, a wiggle or even a unicorn. It makes no difference to my opinion" - Nothing to add here, you're proving my point about you perfectly"
On the contrary my friend, as I stated earlier, the content detail bothers me, not who wrote it. Whether it is a writer or not is irrelevant which is my point, it makes no difference who wrote it I still believe it to be fake because of the content detail. Can I make that any clearer? And again it is my opinion, why do you feel justified to insult someone because you have a differing opinion?

Your last post was just a ramble so go ahead and put me on ignore. I'd rather talk to people who tolerate others opinions.
At least I've admitted I could be wrong unlike someone else.

And maybe you should re read my earlier posts as you clearly haven't. How can anyone explicitly say she was 5'9 on a first glance and not 5'7 or 5'10 without asking? We know he didn't ask because it would be the only detail he left out of his explicitly written post. I am allowed to question that surely?

And lastly I have never said your opinion is wrong or incorrect, just simply that I have a different opinion. If you want to be immature then please do so, it's your choice.

I do agree that we will likely agree to disagree. It seems to be a common theme with your other postings.

bill62
04-12-2013, 10:56 PM
Well, the report was overwritten but very funny. Who uses language like this these days and its so well written it could be published somewhere ..like mills and boon.
But this thread is keeping me entertained..well done all
Have not laughed so much in ages

Jerry10
05-12-2013, 03:03 AM
Seeressofkell where are you in all this?

Come out and proof to them you are not Miley!!!

DirtySanchez
05-12-2013, 09:08 AM
Any of my fellow knuckle dragging apes have any opinion on what they think?

Would be nice to hear from someone who is actually prepared to backup their opinion with reason rather than "oh I'm right and you are wrong you immature little shit, I'm putting you on ignore because you disagree with me"

xak5150
07-12-2013, 06:16 AM
Well thanks for an informative review, she sounds like a lovely girl and one I would happily spend some time with.Hope she is still around next week!

kho207bob
07-12-2013, 08:10 AM
Well thanks for an informative review, she sounds like a lovely girl and one I would happily spend some time with.Hope she is still around next week!

Here we go again...

icanfly
08-12-2013, 10:41 PM
Hanks back!

With all the speculation around the legiticimay of the review it was not pointed out that the OP only has 2 posts. That's adds to the sussness of it all

Greatsage
09-12-2013, 03:20 AM
Totally agree the wording sounds like a story out of playboy. Way too much incidental detail, too many elaborate words, not enough simple primal Neanderthal words like 'pussy' and 'tits'. And where is old mate to defend himself??
And enjoyed The Great Debate, needed the worm to monitor who was winning

DirtySanchez
09-12-2013, 10:43 AM
Couldn't agree more greatsage! More T&A for us Neanderthals please.

Seeressofkell
11-12-2013, 01:48 AM
Gents (assuming the majority of you are described as so, as according to my understanding of the available statistics, women rarely punt):

Let me thank you oh so much and so very sincerely for the incredible response/s and subsequent trail to my initial post. I haven't laughed so hard in quite a while :) In the words of John Keating in Dead Poets Society: "let me dispel a few rumours, so they don't fester into facts" ...

I am definitely an avid punter and certainly not a pimp. I am certainly not Miley and I am not her pimp. Believe you me I wish I was because that would result in a true friends with benefits scheme lol. I'm just an average guy on a medium wage with surplus cash to burn on sex. My rather vivid descriptions of women's clothing stem from having a close relative in the fashion industry and after spending a lot of time around models at various fashion shows hosted around Aust, some of the vocab and ability to identify basic styles has definitely worn off. In the category of Too Much Info: I beat off more times a day than most and have been known to miss important work meetings due to this stigma. The guilt I feel doing this act multiple times a day is almost entirely offset by the amount of material available on the internet confirming that to jack off a lot, means less problems with ones prostate grin

Time for a generalisation or two and after what has been posted above, I'm pretty sure this will have the desired effect of sparking some further debate.

After trying what most of Brisbane has had to offer over the past 5 years (first time poster, multiple occasion reader) may I say that it was absolutely awesome to fork out only $250 ($400 for 2 hours or so I'm led to believe) for someone who was Aussie, young, blonde, easy on the eye, and not of oriental persuasion. Not that I have got anything against orientals - I have definitely had my fair share of those from 64AlexTPSyd and MisoHoneyBris and like most punters on this forum, with the exception of a handful they have all been truly remarkable & fairly memorable - but that being said, I'm pretty sure that most of us out there that punt on a regular basis are aware that most of the cheap circa $200ph Asian market being advertised through cracker / similar is definitely organised and starting to show its true colours. My meaning? The pictures posted in most cases fail dismally to live up to the punt and as for the descriptions - eg 21yo eager Thai / Japanese / Chinese / Korean with 34DD tits or bigger - these may as well describe the women in glossy Hong Kong spank mags, but they are certainly not the description of working girls that you meet up with sex in Bris Vegas. There is definitely something afoot - all ACA / TT / other current affairs programme would need to do is get a patsy punter, shadow out his face and then interview him. Hotels, motels & managed apartments all around the CBD and Spring Hill are being hired by these guys for these purposes and an expose or two would make it come to the fore.

Ok, so I digress. After a few too many of these Asian letdowns (but at least I knew I had only wasted sub $200 in most cases), I guess my satisfaction shone through with someone like Miley. I totally understand that everyone is different, but with me there are certain fetishes that get my cum junk up to boiling point. Kissing for eg is a big deal. And oh boy this chick knew how to kiss. And it wasn't an additional extra. I'm not sure about the rest of you, but I felt that I really connected with this chick (no, not a la Pretty Woman) and that's what led to it being such an incredibly satisfying punt.

I do realise that my report polarised the masses; but in lieu of sparking further debate, I am keen to try and find time to put together another one of these reports with my target this time being the fuck machine from 64AlexTPSyd that is Cici (http://64alexander.com.au/our-ladies/cici/). And don't let the photos fool you - she is sex on legs. BBBJ; $300 for 2hrs; no chit chat (limited grip on the English language); came 4 times in two hours; I came the same amount; every sexual position I thought possible and then some; me walking away from the encounter wishing that I didn't have to leave.

Thanks again guys for your feedback, see you around campus

P.S. Any other fans of Eddings see Sean Connery as Belgarath in a movie screenplay version of the book? lol

BrainSex
11-12-2013, 10:14 AM
I usually find that although Chinese girls are wonderful, cute and enthusiastic, they have limited imagination.

kho207bob
11-12-2013, 01:23 PM
So can anyone second Seeressofkell's review on Miley?

DirtySanchez
11-12-2013, 03:39 PM
In my experience it's not just Asian girls who don't live up to their photos. I've been let down by many European and Aussie girls who do not live upto their descriptions and the photos are very old if not fake. Most of the better looking Aussie girls are over pricing themselves and the service is not worth the inflated cost. Occasionally you will find a cheaper one who you "hit it off" with and I would use this term loosely as you are a business transaction and it is their business to satisfy you.

In response to brainsex they maybe more uninmaginitive but youthful enthusiasm trumps just anything else for me.

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