Why do you visit sex workers?

[mask]

Interesting article i read in the SMH this morning about the reasons why men see sex workers and why the women become prostitutes.

Some valid points, i guess it's safe to say the majority of the bros on this forum fall into one of these categories mentioned in the article. But i would like to add one more of the reasons why men see sex workers to the list; that is we are F..kin HORNY!!! simple as that.

Heres the article below. http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/why-some-men-see-sex-workers-20140414-36mci.html

The topic of sex workers receives more hostile attention in the media than any other sexual issue. Sex work is highly stigmatised; referring to female sex workers as prostitutes in the public domain has become the norm and is a reminder of the pervasiveness of negative views of sex work and sex workers.

Many people believe that sex work isn't legitimate, but it is legal in parts of Australia and is a legitimate industry and occupation. Sex workers are entitled to the same rights and level of respect as any other professional. It's their choice and they have control over their own bodies, to provide a sexual service, in exchange for money, between consenting adults.

There are women who have many other job opportunities but prefer this job because of the flexibility of working hours and the money they can earn. Most women who start work in the sex industry do so for financial reasons – for example, putting their children in private schools, working because their partner may have lost his job, help paying off the mortgage, pay for a drug addiction or paying for their university education.

Sun-Herald writer Eamonn Duff wrote an article recently about Asian women being snared in student visa scams forcing them into brothels. I am sure that trafficking, sex slavery and sexual exploitation exists in Australia and the article explains the difficulties in combating this. But the majority of sex workers in NSW are not victims; they see themselves as businesswomen and work in clean brothels with enforced health and safety regulations.

One famous ex-call girl, Dr Brooke Magnanti, achieved global notoriety by writing a blog, using the pen name Belle de Jour, which was made into a television series in Britain. She was in Australia last year to attend the All About Women Festival in Sydney and was a guest on the ABC's Q&A program. Another guest was Mia Freedman, an influential social media contributor and founder of popular website Mamamia.

On topic discussed was sex work, and Freedman stated: "Let's be clear, no little girl grows up wanting to be a sex worker, thank heavens" and "I would be disturbed if my seven-year-old daughter wanted to". After her appearance she wrote a blog about it that angered and upset many sex workers. Instead of engaging with the sex workers, many of whom are mothers, she wrote another one. One of these women wrote this amazing comment to Freedman's second blog.

So why do so many men visit sex workers? You only have to look at the ads in your local paper to realise there seems to a great demand.

Sex workers do not force men to take their services; men go looking for them – for lots of reasons.

Some of my male clients, who have partners, feel so guilty about seeing sex workers that they come to see me to talk about it. They often have relationships in which there is little or no sex at all; leaving is not always an option, especially when there are children involved. They rather would pay for sex, which they believe is being less unfaithful, than have the emotional involvement of an affair.

Some men don't have the time or desire for a personal relationship and just like sex with no strings attached. Others see a sex worker because they like to engage in sexual activities their partners may not enjoy. Many younger men pay for sex which they probably could get for free frequenting bars or nightclubs.

When one of my female clients discovered her husband had been visiting sex workers over the last few years she was very angry and disappointed. I was, however, amazed that she blamed the sex worker for destroying her marriage, not her partner. She had difficulties having sex with him again after she found out and in trusting him not to do it again.

I speak to some men from countries like India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and other cultures where sex before marriage officially is not allowed. They ask me if it's OK to see a sex worker, because they want to be shown how to have sex properly so they can be good lovers for their wives when they go home to get married.

Another one of my clients was delusional; he was obsessed with the sex worker he was seeing and believed "they had fallen in love" and he wanted to save her. Other men are addicted to the scene and spend too much money on it, but after all it's their choice!

However, I often wonder why young, beautiful women marry or partner up with men who are twice their age and are often not attractive, but are rich or powerful.

And what about the mistresses of well-known married men who are financially very well looked after! Are they selling their bodies?

[dohdoe]

It actually feels weird reading that article because it feels like an informed writer on mainstream media. I always kinda expect sex slave from overseas blah blah

[asiafever]

Nice to read a non-judgemental informed position in the mainstream media for a change isnt it?

[Wayne]

It actually feels weird reading that article because it feels like an informed writer on mainstream media. I always kinda expect sex slave from overseas blah blah

Well said, exactly what I was thinking.

[Sergaent Brody]

This article feels real and personal ...

[the doctor.]

We see the girls for numerous reasons.
and we remember how scary it was when we first started.
Now its a walk in the park for most of us.
Similarly, the girls got in this business for many reasons , and it would have been somewhat daunting. .dependent on their cultural and family upbringing.
Now the financial rewards for them outway anything else.
Some actually do it becase they enjoy it..not many though

[Raybo]

This thread reminds me of an analogy my uncles ex-girlfriend once told me in reference to her bi-sexuality. She said that she liked both orange juice and champagne. She would drink orange juice most days and was generally happy with this. Occasionally, she really craved champagne. Nothing wrong with orange juice, just the campagne was different. She knew she couldnt drink champagne like she did orange juice as well.
This is very similar to the reasons why I punt I guess.

[Beancounter]

This thread reminds me of an analogy my uncles ex-girlfriend once told me in reference to her bi-sexuality. She said that she liked both orange juice and champagne. She would drink orange juice most days and was generally happy with this. Occasionally, she really craved champagne. Nothing wrong with orange juice, just the campagne was different. She knew she couldnt drink champagne like she did orange juice as well.
This is very similar to the reasons why I punt I guess.

I fully agree with this analogy. It's like you go into Baskin Robbins with their 31 flavours and you only try one flavour over and over again. Some people are happy to do this and some people want variety. I like variety :)

[AHLUNGOR]

Some of my male clients, who have partners, feel so guilty about seeing sex workers that they come to see me to talk about it. They often have relationships in which there is little or no sex at all; leaving is not always an option, especially when there are children involved. They rather would pay for sex, which they believe is being less unfaithful, than have the emotional involvement of an affair.


I could not have said it any better myself !!

[clearview]

I read this thread this morning and spent a lot of time thinking about it over the course of the day.

I, like everyone here, is respectful of the sex worker industry as a profession. Yet the obvious reality is that sex workers are held in contempt by a very large part of society at large. Why is this??

Is it because prostitution is illegal? - no, the author herself says that legalisaton of the sex worker industry in nsw has not resulted in the profession being granted any additional respect

is it because prostitutes rent out their bodies for money? - I don't believe so. The author makes the point that many young ladies hook up with sugar daddies, effectively doing the same thing, yet are not reviled in the same way as WLs

Is it because prostitutes are viewed by society as loose women - promiscuous 'sluts'? I dont think so. Lots of young girls sleep around these days and while they may earn a 'reputation' they are certainly not relegated to the social status of a 'whore'

So what is the reason exactly? Are there any sociologists who can shed light on this cultural phenomenum??

[dohdoe]

This thread reminds me of an analogy my uncles ex-girlfriend once told me in reference to her bi-sexuality. She said that she liked both orange juice and champagne. She would drink orange juice most days and was generally happy with this. Occasionally, she really craved champagne. Nothing wrong with orange juice, just the campagne was different. She knew she couldnt drink champagne like she did orange juice as well.

My work colleague has a similar analogy. He said that beef is great but sometimes you just got to have chicken.

[Rpd]

Lots of young girls sleep around these days and while they may earn a 'reputation' they are certainly not relegated to the social status of a 'whore'



I don't know about that... There was a lot of slut shaming when I was younger. I doubt anything has changed - if anything, with the anonymity of the internet, it could be getting worse.

[cisco]

Simple , HORNEY . No need other answer

[asiafever]

I think there are plenty of reasons that on their own seem petty, but on the whole they form this 'belief'.
Firstly before condoms, health checks etc, it was a sure-fire way to get disease, and girls were seem as 'dirty', as in, diseased. So there is a stigma.
Then most of the worlds monotheistic religions will tell you sex is a nasty evil dirty thing, especially outside the boundaries of marriage. "No sex before marriage" "Sex is only to procreate" etc, and prostitution goes against all of that. (Isn't it amazing how totally obsessed the churches are with sex though? I mean really, the only people who are obsessed with food are the morbidly obese and anorexics, and never is this truer than a bunch of elderly virgins preaching to us about this subject.)
Then there's the infedility aspect, men sneaking off, away from their wives, and having sex with other women. Ever notice when a guy sees his girlfriend/wife flirting or being flirted with he wants to bash the other guy? Never mind the other guy owes him nothing (unless it's his mate). It is insecurity essentially, so the women are insecure maybe their men are not satisfied, and instead of doing something proactive about it, how about running the brothels out of town and demonising the girls that work there?

In truth there are a lot of reasons, some of them long since invalid but still being clung to, but a lot of them are based in ignorance and/or fear. Just in my view anyhow.

[CunningLinguist]

I see em cos:
- I can
- so I can fuck a chick who is better looking than I could pick up at short notice
- to save money on wine and dining
- to do things I can't do with partners normally, like CIM, COF, anal ...
- for variety
- to satisfy an urge
- cos I luv beautiful women, in a skin deep GFE kind of way anyway :)

I used to date some cos I could but tend not to these days as I prefer not to get to know them too well as it usually shatters the illusion.
I think going to a good WL/ML with good GFE is like going to see a good movie, you suspend reality for a while and get entertained and get your rocks off and get "lifted".
Seeing a bad ML/WL has the same effect as a bad movie for me ...

[clearview]

If we're gonna be honest I reckon 95% of us visit prostitutes for one of two reasons:

1. It gives us the opportunity to fuck beautiful women who would never even give us the time of day in the real world

2. We live in miserable, passionless relationships and are extremely lonely and in desparate need of human contact

[mask]

I see em cos:
- I can
- so I can fuck a chick who is better looking than I could pick up at short notice
- to save money on wine and dining
- to do things I can't do with partners normally, like CIM, COF, anal ...
- for variety
- to satisfy an urge
- cos I luv beautiful women, in a skin deep GFE kind of way anyway :)

I used to date some cos I could but tend not to these days as I prefer not to get to know them too well as it usually shatters the illusion.
I think going to a good WL/ML with good GFE is like going to see a good movie, you suspend reality for a while and get entertained and get your rocks off and get "lifted".
Seeing a bad ML/WL has the same effect as a bad movie for me ...

I agree with your points their bro, especially the 'to satisfy an urge'.

[black knight]

If we're gonna be honest I reckon 95% of us visit prostitutes for one of two reasons:

1. It gives us the opportunity to fuck beautiful women who would never even give us the time of day in the real world

2. We live in miserable, passionless relationships and are extremely lonely and in desparate need of human contact

I think you hit the nail on the head...well at least for me

[John_Matrix]

If we're gonna be honest I reckon 95% of us visit prostitutes for one of two reasons:

1. It gives us the opportunity to fuck beautiful women who would never even give us the time of day in the real world

2. We live in miserable, passionless relationships and are extremely lonely and in desparate need of human contact

Yup spot on for me also, both actually.

[paulgallen]

Because beautiful woman want us to bang them. So better I do it than the next dude

[rooter]

to fuck them

[RoyalFlush]

- like the surprise element of what hot girl may await for me.
- find out how good she may be in bed
- "hunting" instinct
- the challenge of dating them out of their workplace and become friends with them
- urge kicks in usually after watching porn or see a pretty random girl on the street that gives me reaction

[grant]

I think there are plenty of reasons that on their own seem petty, but on the whole they form this 'belief'.
Firstly before condoms, health checks etc, it was a sure-fire way to get disease, and girls were seem as 'dirty', as in, diseased. So there is a stigma.
Then most of the worlds monotheistic religions will tell you sex is a nasty evil dirty thing, especially outside the boundaries of marriage. "No sex before marriage" "Sex is only to procreate" etc, and prostitution goes against all of that. (Isn't it amazing how totally obsessed the churches are with sex though? I mean really, the only people who are obsessed with food are the morbidly obese and anorexics, and never is this truer than a bunch of elderly virgins preaching to us about this subject.)
Then there's the infedility aspect, men sneaking off, away from their wives, and having sex with other women. Ever notice when a guy sees his girlfriend/wife flirting or being flirted with he wants to bash the other guy? Never mind the other guy owes him nothing (unless it's his mate). It is insecurity essentially, so the women are insecure maybe their men are not satisfied, and instead of doing something proactive about it, how about running the brothels out of town and demonising the girls that work there?

In truth there are a lot of reasons, some of them long since invalid but still being clung to, but a lot of them are based in ignorance and/or fear. Just in my view anyhow.

Nice post.

I just wanted to come by and drop this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

[MagicToad]

Like most punters I go to improve my Asian language skills, that's a given.

[fuzzyone]

If we're gonna be honest I reckon 95% of us visit prostitutes for one of two reasons:

1. It gives us the opportunity to fuck beautiful women who would never even give us the time of day in the real world

2. We live in miserable, passionless relationships and are extremely lonely and in desparate need of human contact

I think you got most of with the above two reasons

[brian007]

However, I often wonder why young, beautiful women marry or partner up with men who are twice their age and are often not attractive, but are rich or powerful.

Please tell me you don't really spend time "wondering" about this one. LOL

[doctorspock]

When you have argument with wife/gf and feel p..off!

[johnconnor69er]

Cause I aint getting any at home. If I did though I might still go for the variety.

[loaded]

For the variety and to test drive the latest models. Keeps you young.

[uglyphil]

My username kinda tells you why :grimace:

Add to that I am rather shy and, well... I'm afraid I am not good at meeting ladies in a more "normal" sense.

In fact, before I started punting last year (I am a late cummer to the game) I hadn't had sex with anyone for about 5 years!

**have I said too much**

[wilisno]

My username kinda tells you why :grimace:

Add to that I am rather shy and, well... I'm afraid I am not good at meeting ladies in a more "normal" sense.

In fact, before I started punting last year (I am a late cummer to the game) I hadn't had sex with anyone for about 5 years!

**have I said too much**
Now it's time to make up for the lost 5 years ! ;) ;) ;)

[MagicToad]

My username kinda tells you why :grimace:

Add to that I am rather shy and, well... I'm afraid I am not good at meeting ladies in a more "normal" sense.

In fact, before I started punting last year (I am a late cummer to the game) I hadn't had sex with anyone for about 5 years!

**have I said too much**

Don't worry, you are in good company here. This is where all the wankers, wannabe studs,
emotionally unstable, needy, desperate, financial losers come to either just kid themselves,
or zone-out and vegetate. Better to read a good book really.

[uglyphil]

This is where all the wankers, losers come ....

Pleased to meet a fellow acolyte :miao:

[uglyphil]

Now it's time to make up for the lost 5 years ! ;) ;) ;)

I won't mention the 10 before that then, hey! ;)

[quackman]

Would like to ask the punters here if the missus/gf told them that they were visiting their own sex worker for the same reasons, eg likes variety, their partner isn't as attractive as they used to be , how would they react to that?

Maybe they wouldn't do that because many women put in emotion in relationships?

[uglyphil]

I cannot speak for others (obviously), but if I was in a relationship then I wouldn't visit any WL. That is my personal choice, others may be different.

[CunningLinguist]

Don't worry, you are in good company here. This is where all the wankers, wannabe studs,
emotionally unstable, needy, desperate, financial losers come to either just kid themselves,
or zone-out and vegetate. Better to read a good book really.

What category do you fall into ?

[CunningLinguist]

I cannot speak for others (obviously), but if I was in a relationship then I wouldn't visit any WL. That is my personal choice, others may be different.

You woudl be in limbo, alot of people visit WLs cos they are in relationships, also alot visit WLs cos they are not in relationships ...

There are only two types of men: those that visit WLs and those that haven't gotten around to it yet :)

[mr-y]

My work colleague has a similar analogy. He said that beef is great but sometimes you just got to have chicken.

i only Eat Eye fillet. don't eat chicken and pork. you will going down everything.

[CunningLinguist]

Would like to ask the punters here if the missus/gf told them that they were visiting their own sex worker for the same reasons, eg likes variety, their partner isn't as attractive as they used to be , how would they react to that?

Maybe they wouldn't do that because many women put in emotion in relationships?

At an evolutionary level all that matters to guys is whether or not they are raising their own kids, and all that matters to gals is will the guy stick around to help raise the kids, so chicks should not care if the guy sows his oats as long as he does not fall in love, and guys should not care if the chick strays as long as she is post menapausal ... :)

[mr-y]

why should visit sex worker? i don't visit. they should come to my place!!!!

Sex worker should come to my place and taste my spam! i will ask them, How was my taste? jejejejeje!!!!

[rm85]

Appropriate to my status as a baby member, I am fairly new to this. I've seen just two working ladies ever, both in the last 12 months (my third will be this week!), but I have put a fair amount of thought into it both beforehand and since (this forum has been very helpful psyching me up for starting, although I do wish I could find a forum with a stronger discussion of cauc shops also - if anyone knows one please recommend). Basically I'm single, young, and date infrequently, I've got enough disposable income to consider making it semi-regular, and to be honest I'm taking the opportunity to work through an anxiety issue, after a lifetime of porn has left me with the double-edged sword of not being able to.. er.. wrap things up (including sentences). I'm approaching it as brute force sex therapy. It hasn't been successful so far despite great service, but I have faith in my methods! ;)

Other than that I only ever started because of its status as a regulated industry here in NSW. If it were illegal where I live I absolutely would never do it, out of both ethical concerns and self-preservation. I would just have to dig further into the grimy crevasses of online dating and end up at some middle-aged craigslist orgy (no judgments).

[wilisno]

Appropriate to my status as a baby member, I am fairly new to this. I've seen just two working ladies ever, both in the last 12 months (my third will be this week!), but I have put a fair amount of thought into it both beforehand and since (this forum has been very helpful psyching me up for starting, although I do wish I could find a forum with a stronger discussion of cauc shops also - if anyone knows one please recommend). Basically I'm single, young, and date infrequently, I've got enough disposable income to consider making it semi-regular, and to be honest I'm taking the opportunity to work through an anxiety issue, after a lifetime of porn has left me with the double-edged sword of not being able to.. er.. wrap things up (including sentences). I'm approaching it as brute force sex therapy. It hasn't been successful so far despite great service, but I have faith in my methods! ;)

Other than that I only ever started because of its status as a regulated industry here in NSW. If it were illegal where I live I absolutely would never do it, out of both ethical concerns and self-preservation. I would just have to dig further into the grimy crevasses of online dating and end up at some middle-aged craigslist orgy (no judgments).
If you have anxiety issues, brute force sex is not the answer, as a matter of fact, if that's your approach to a girl, I for one won't be recommendation for you !

Believe me, find a girl with good GFE, then all your anxiety issues will be gone after a session or two !

[rm85]

Haha, no no, I did not mean rough sex at all.
I am definitely seeking good GFE's, my third session is going to be at MOC (first two at Ginza). I just meant that it's not a very subtle form of therapy. As in, as opposed to actually seeing a therapist, I'm just seeing if I can throw enough beautiful girls at the problem.

[TempoBingu]

Sydney Morning Herald has been put itself out there with this article.

Despite an incredibly sexualized culture among younger Australians, the country's Anglo-Celtic roots and strong (no longer pervasive) religious influence mean that sex is still looked upon as one of those taboo sort of things. Okay to engage in a discussion of among 'mates' but beyond that relatively closed off.

To be honest there are any number of reasons why punters might visit WGs, and the variation based on circumstance is simply too wide to narrow down. Beyond the obvious fact that sex is awesome, some may go due to social anxiety, others because they feel unattractive, further yet there are those who go because its simply exciting to them (a fact sometimes - not always - contributed to due to the societal stigma surrounding the practice).

I've not really punted in Australia - the two times I did have been in Sydney under an esteemed forum member's suggestion - but I can tell you guys for a fact that it is much better to interact with the sex industry here then it is in say China. I'm not making a blanket statement about the morality of the sex trade in East Asia in general but the sort of negative atmosphere and 'don't ask don't tell' culture of Japan/China/Korea makes for a much murkier sex trade over there then here.As far as I have experienced, brothels are well regulated protected and accorded legally enforceable practices here in a way that really makes the girls free agents. Any reasonable observer would make the minimum observation that they're consensually and voluntarily doing what they do.

Anyway, jumping off that tangent. I personally punt because I get a sort of perverse thrill out of it:
- The semi anonymous quality of the sex is exhilarating, and this coupled with the fact that oftentimes you only visit certain girls infrequently makes encounters seem very fleeting and precious
- The interactions: obviously punters pay for FS but beyond that there is a social component which I always find fun/interesting. Finding out what the girls do in their 'alter-ego' mode (even if the info given is partial truth) is always cool and my predeliction for Asian working girls (particularly HK/Taiwan/mainlanders) always means we have some mutual cultural ground to bitch or fuss over.
- Historically, in my post teens I was a bit of a chubster. Thankfully, I'm a little healthier now but initially out of desperation I turned to massage/saunas/brothels (call them what you will) because I felt free sex just wasn't something on the cards for me. That misapprehension has since been corrected and nowadays as long as the establishment I visit is legitimate, the girls working there are visibly happy and I feel like management aren't a bunch of exploitative cunts I'm all too happy to throw my money at them simply for the thrill of fucking a beautiful woman :miao:.
- NSA: the no strings aspect of visiting sex workers is admittedly crucial as well. If you have a terrible breakup, are going through a rough patch or need an explicit way to release your frustration this is a much more effective (and legal) way to vent some steam.

Sorry for the long post, I get the feeling there will be loads of 'tl;dr' snark but I think its important that punters actually do address their motivation for supporting a legitimate sex industry. In a roundabout way, this is also a preferable alternative to all the shit you hear about that goes down in developing countries and many of the former Soviet bloc nations. I support business transactions and those who genuinely take pride in their work but that's a far cry from a place where young women are abused so that men can feel better about themselves.

Thankfully, in Australia the sex trade looks to be more of the former sort.