The forum needs variety & texture - The promised love POEM for this weekend.

[Sherlock Poirot]

The poem was promised and is now delivered.


She & My Hopeful Self

She is her of whom I dream,
In the winter dark so cold,
That rids me of the bleakest nights,
Bringing comfort to my soul.

I’ve seldom seen a face so fair,
And with body and soul to match.
I sit and think to my hopeful self,
I should consider her a most suitable match.

So here I am waiting to view,
The paradise that is her beauty.
Though it is not her day to walk this way,
I don’t mind to stay on loyal duty.

I can wait for her with eternal smile,
Knowing time is best late-remembered.
For the few like she who adorn this world,
Bring fresh taste to the spent fruit of September.

Praise to her with good and gentle heart,
Whose beauty grows more resplendent each day,
You are in my eyes when the cool winds blow,
And my thoughts when last I pray.


I do not impose this poem upon you, I only offer it as something interesting to read, review and enjoy if you so wish.
If you don’t like it, then ignore it. If you have considered critcisms of the poem, feel free to say so.

I have no agenda other than to show the breadth and depth of the human emotional and cognitive condition, of which love and sex is a significant part.
Others might say different, but they are, at best, mistaken or otherwise they just seek to limit “general discussions.”

If this poem is met with unwarranted and unnecessary attack & ridicule by some on the forum, it is of no concern to me, because it will say nothing
about the poem or the author, and everything about those hapless few with their own particular agendas.

As it was spoken, so it was written, as it was written so shall it be done – as promised.

[wilisno]

Don't ask people for comments, alright ?

[Sextus]

I do not impose this poem upon you,
I only offer it as something -

interesting to read
review and enjoy,
if you so wish.

If you don’t like it, then ignore it.
If you have considered
criticisms of the poem,
feel free....to say so.

I have no agenda,
other than to show the breadth and depth
of the human emotional and cognitive condition,
of which love and sex is a significant part.

Others might say different,
but they are, at best, mistaken,
or otherwise they just seek to limit
"general discussions.”

If this poem is met
with unwarranted
and unnecessary attack

& ridicule by some on the forum,
it is of no concern to me,
because it will say nothing
about the poem or the author, and

everything
about those hapless few
with their own particular
agendas.

As it was spoken,
so it was written,
as it was written
so shall it be done –
as promised.

I don't know about your first poem, I've yet to consider it, but your second one is your best yet! :shout:

[uglyphil]

Wow, you do have tickets on yourself don't you? Choosing your new user name after two of the greatest fictional detectives the world has known, yet you are....

Well, "elementary" at best :P

And in case you are wondering, yes - the lower case "e" is intentional.

Added to ignore list.

[AHLUNGOR]

He's back !!

As quickly as he was banned again , and again, and again ........

[Sherlock Poirot]

I don't know about your first poem, I've yet to consider it, but your second one is your best yet! :shout:

You cheeky monkey Sextus. But of course the second "one" is not exclusively mine, it's a significant collaboration with you - you've cheekily created a
decent piece of literary prose from my basic explanatory text. That's the equivalent of polishing a rough diamond to create something of consummate beauty.
You are Ezra Pound (the great editor) to my Ts Elliot or WB Yeats. Well, because it's you Sextus, you can polish my rough sides any time you want sugar......Yeah baby.

[CunningLinguist]

I don't know about your first poem, I've yet to consider it, but your second one is your best yet! :shout:

Well he was starting from a pretty low base, so the "best yet" tag may well apply from now on ...
How generous of you to encourage him :)

[Sherlock Poirot]

He's back !!

As quickly as he was banned again , and again, and again ........

One of my favourite uplifting anthems is the song.......

I get knocked down but I get up again, they're never going keep me down,
I get knocked down but I get up again, they're never going keep me down,
I get knocked down but I get up again, they're never going keep me down,

and so on and so forth.

It is not an overly poetic song, but it has a certain strength and quality.
You could say I have a great affinity with this song.

Ps. Lord Byron (the poet) was a real fighter - not uncommon amongst poets.
Several great poets fought in the first world war.

[Sextus]

She is her of whom I dream,
In the winter dark so cold,
That rids me of the bleakest nights,
Bringing comfort to my soul.

Well, if I dream of something I wanted but lost or never gained, I don't wake up feeling comforted, but melancholy.



So here I am waiting to view,
The paradise that is her beauty.
Though it is not her day to walk this way,
I don’t mind to stay on loyal duty.


Now come on man, you've got more red blood in you than that surely - happy not just with a passing glance, but with her not even passing you by at all? Well, maybe this comes filed under "poetic suffering."



I can wait for her with eternal smile,
Knowing time is best late-remembered.


Again, that is too passive and accepting, but the second line is rather good in its mysterious connotations.



For the few like she who adorn this world,
Bring fresh taste to the spent fruit of September.

Ok, I might be accused of being too literal and I accept that. I come from a prose background after all and am happily satisfied with that. But September is Spring, and the fruit is just budding! Autumn is the time that fruit rots on the tree!



Praise to her with good and gentle heart,


For ignoring you on her daily walk?



You are in my eyes when the cool winds blow,


Now that is rather good. Cool winds blowing in the eyes? What does that cause - tears - geddit? In other words, in his forlorn longing, he sees her through a mist of tears.



And my thoughts when last I pray.


But that finish is a little pedestrian if it merely refers to some cosy pre-bedtime prayers for her. But it could refer to his dying thoughts, which is much better - as his last act on Earth could well be a prayer.

Conclusion. Try building a poem around your best lines. Let the best ones form the standard for the weaker ones and discard them until they are all best lines!

[Sherlock Poirot]

Thanks for the comprehensive critique, are you sure you're not Ezra Pound reincarnated?
My european background explains the "september" reference, but in any case, some poetic license
needs to be allowed I think.

"she is her of whom I dream" ie I am dreaming in the present and I continue to dream because the
if I have genuine feeling for someone, I find it impossible to feel melancholy when thinking about them.
Is this not the strange we call love. I don't want to possess, control, or manipulate her, I just want
to love her, if necessary from afar. I've had many women, few of whom I truly loved, and fewer still loved me.

For me, these are the best verses.....

She is her of whom I dream,
In the winter dark so cold,
That rids me of the bleakest nights,
Bringing comfort to my soul.

I can wait for her with eternal smile,
Knowing time is best late-remembered.
For the few like she who adorn this world,
Bring fresh taste to the spent fruit of September.

I think I agree that the poem needs more "good lines."
But, I'm still of the opinion that too many good lines can render
the verses of a poem too similar in terms of flow and rhythm,
with things becoming a poetic blur. I reckon three more good lines
across the entire piece would be sufficient, whereas I feel you might
want every line to be a winner.

It's good to get a thorough critique, because it can inspire useful self-appraisal,
and it gives the author the opportunity to critique the critique. At this point, some poets
disappear up their own arses, but I know what I'm doing and won't allow myself that dubious
pleasure.

Many thanks Sextus, your opinions are much appreciated.

[Sherlock Poirot]

Good afternoon fine people of the forum - one bump up per day is not unreasonable I think.

[TMC (free cage girl)]

you have million $$$ of sense of poem^^

we can make song:burn:

[CunningLinguist]

Good afternoon fine people of the forum - one bump up per day is not unreasonable I think.

Not sure why you got banned this time but I hope it was for this shameless self promoting gratuitous post ...

You are so insecure and desperate for others approval that you bump your own crap poetry ...

[wilisno]

Not sure why you got banned this time but I hope it was for this shameless self promoting gratuitous post ...

You are so insecure and desperate for others approval that you bump your own crap poetry ...

I think he's getting close to be promoted to the " Shoot On Sight " status if he chooses to provoke responses ! :miao:

On par with the childish pornoman/tapdat, 8inches and the like !

[CunningLinguist]

I think he's getting close to be promoted to the " Shoot On Sight " status if he chooses to provoke responses ! :miao:

Well he would finally be in the category he deserves then: persona non grata

[Emperor Dubious]

you have million $$$ of sense of poem^^

we can make song:burn:

I agree with you, the literary style shows a fine appreciation of the poetic aesthetic.

[CunningLinguist]

I agree with you, the literary style shows a fine appreciation of the poetic aesthetic.

Looks like I was right, I picked it was you on your first post. No normal member in his right mind would say that.
I will update the table (of your banned accounts (http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?39297-Banned-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again)). lets see how long you last this time ...

[Emperor Dubious]

Looks like I was right, I picked it was you on your first post. No normal member in his right mind would say that.
I will update the table (of your banned accounts (http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?39297-Banned-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again)). lets see how long you last this time ...

Don't forget Sherlock Poirot, he was good while he lasted.

[CunningLinguist]

Don't forget Sherlock Poirot, he was good while he lasted.

This wasn't the first time you were banned on the same day you registered, and I have a feeling it probably won't be the last either ...

[TMC (free cage girl)]

He's back !!

As quickly as he was banned again , and again, and again ........

Oh!!poem and BBQ sound nice sir:cool2:

[TastefulHumper]

Oh!!poem and BBQ sound nice sir:cool2:

How delightfully interesting, a poet in our midst.

[proximo]

This isn't bad at all. I don't know the first thing about poetry but i like how this sounds



She is her of whom I dream,
In the winter dark so cold,
That rids me of the bleakest nights,
Bringing comfort to my soul.

I can wait for her with eternal smile,
Knowing time is best late-remembered.
For the few like she who adorn this world,
Bring fresh taste to the spent fruit of September.

[Sextus]

Yeah, I nit picked it a bit too much. But I'm not the best poetry critic I keep on confessing

[TastefulHumper]

Yeah, I nit picked it a bit too much. But I'm not the best poetry critic I keep on confessing

A critique from someone showing some interest is worth ten critiques from the literary "analysers."
I think Sherlock Poirot was very appreciative of your efforts. In fact, I'm totally convinced of he was.

[TastefulHumper]

This isn't bad at all. I don't know the first thing about poetry but i like how this sounds

I know Sherlock very well, in fact I am Sherlock, and I'm very grateful for your considered opinion.
Suffice it to say, I think you have very good taste.

[proximo]

I enjoy poetry a lot. I don't really know much about it but if a poem sounds pleasant to my ears and I can picture what I think the poet is saying then I think its a good poem.

Have you written anything else like that?

[TastefulHumper]

I enjoy poetry a lot. I don't really know much about it but if a poem sounds pleasant to my ears and I can picture what I think the poet is saying then I think its a good poem.

Have you written anything else like that?

Yes, I have many poems in just the same style. Hopefully, if they don't keep banning me, I will
post a few more poems over time. I was hoping to post one poem each week, but I fear this may
be too much for the ruling elite. Maybe one poem per fortnight or something like that.

[CunningLinguist]

I enjoy poetry a lot. I don't really know much about it but if a poem sounds pleasant to my ears and I can picture what I think the poet is saying then I think its a good poem.

Have you written anything else like that?

I smell a troll (http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?39297-Banned-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again) ...

[cato]

I think your sense of smell is correct...

[TastefulHumper]

Yeah, I nit picked it a bit too much. But I'm not the best poetry critic I keep on confessing

A critique from someone showing genuine interest is highly appreciated and worth a multitude of critiques from the "analysers."
I feel sure that Sherlock Poirot was very grateful to you for your well considered efforts. In fact, I'm totally convinced of he was.
Many thanks Sextus, you are an oasis of impartiality in the desert of agenda driven attacks. Luckily, you might have noticed,
I am remarkably oblivious to those who prefer to critique me, rather than my poems. Good onya Sextus......

[wilisno]

I smell a troll (http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?39297-Banned-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again) ...

Not surprised if he's talking to himself ! :miao:

[TastefulHumper]

I have been genuinely moved by the increasing kind and impartial interest in my poetry.
My thanks to Sextus, Proximo, Mr Crash & Burn, TMC (cage-girl) and others. I'm sure many
visitors to the forum will be greatly impressed by the breadth and depth of discussions we have,
relating to the human condition in all its merry forms.

[proximo]

Thank you for taking the time to share your poetry with us!

[Gucci2012]

http://www.everypoet.org perhaps posting on an actual poetry forum will reward you with the attention you seek and be surrounded by like minded peers?

[Gyu-don]

I don't know what's stranger - a poet on a punting forum?

Or 2 people that are so obsessed in banning him they begin to look as weird if not weirder than him to the public viewers?

It's f in poem. If you don't want to read it, you can skip it just like you do with 34213345457 thread bumps you see every single day on this blessed forum !

[TastefulHumper]

I don't know what's stranger - a poet on a punting forum?

Or 2 people that are so obsessed in banning him they begin to look as weird if not weirder than him to the public viewers?

It's f in poem. If you don't want to read it, you can skip it just like you do with 34213345457 thread bumps you see every single day on this blessed forum !

Proximo innocently enjoyed my poetry, and it looks like he or she has been banned for doing so.

Proximo had nothing whatsoever to do with SG, CP, CM, HRG, RLR or any others on the "banned table."

The table is now wrong, remove Proximo from the table.

I'm sorry for you Proximo, that by enjoying some of my poetry on the "general discussion" section of the forum,
you were immediately judged and summarily banned.

Your spirit Proximo will stay in my heart, someone guilty of enjoying a poem.

[TastefulHumper]

http://www.everypoet.org perhaps posting on an actual poetry forum will reward you with the attention you seek and be surrounded by like minded peers?

Thanks for your interest Gucci. This last day has been a black day for the forum -
an innocent punter, Proximo, who simply enjoyed my poem, was banned for doing so.
I feel for Proximo, and all reasonable & impartial visitors and members at the forum.

I am a punter, and many other things besides, and I will continue to express my views
on the human condition, of which sex/sensuality plays a significant part. I will do so
both poetically and by ordinary text posts, for "general" discussion. GENERAL discussion.

I am falsely accused of having a hidden agenda, by others apparently with their own agenda.
This last decison to ban Proximo shows how desperate they have become. Their pre-occupation
with me, and now innocent supporters, is strange indeed. It makes me wonder what other
stuff might be flying under the forum's radar, whilst the chooks run around shouting about me.
Chooks? or Ravens? If you have any influence, have Proximo removed from the "banned" table.

[TastefulHumper]

Thank you for taking the time to share your poetry with us!

Proximo – “Fairwell”

Proximo, they cut you down,
With no reason the good can know,
You enjoyed a poem, so had to fall,
On sheathless swords, fine Proximo.

You thanked me true for sharing,
With the innocence of a distant friend,
Not yet knowing of the ravens,
In the dark woodlands how they would intend.

Waiting for the moments,
When simple good begets more good,
To descend upon the tasteful,
And bring the darkness as they would.

Fairwell to you kind Proximo,
Your good time within here spent,
Keeps your spirit close beside us,
Though your body swiftly went.

Fairwell to you good Proximo,
My heart is full of joy,
To know the feeling I once had.
When just an innocent boy.

[SirLaughsAlot]

My next poem is scheduled for posting this coming Saturday 7th June. I'm selecting from a few,
but I expect it will be another love/semi-erotic piece with universal appeal across the spectrum.

Warm regards,
SirLaughsAlot.

[SirLaughsAlot]

My next poem is scheduled for posting this coming Saturday 7th June. I'm selecting from a few,
but I expect it will be another love/semi-erotic piece with universal appeal across the spectrum.

Warm regards,
SirLaughsAlot.


I've been working on an erotic/sensual/sexual poem, and fully expect to post it tomorrow, i.e Saturday 7th.
I look forward to your considered comments and critiques.

Cheers...

[diamondeyez]

Your poetry is is very evocative and I like the way it sounds. You are quite the wordsmith.

Your poems tend to be quite dark and melancholy though. I'm interested to see how your erotic literature will read

[TMC (free cage girl)]

i wanna see. erotic video clip poem:cool2:

[SirLaughsAlot]

i wanna see. erotic video clip poem:cool2:

This is a very interesting idea, I'll be giving it some serious consideration.
I'm sure some ladies would be intrigued by this idea.

[TMC (free cage girl)]

Oh! hehehe:cool2:

i have idea for make erotic video clip poem. the poem guy reading poem and girls sucking his penis, :cool2:

[catbob]

I've seen a few clips where a chick has been talking or even attempting to sing while getting facials, dicks in her face/mouth or giving while giving blowjobs/deepthroats, no poetry but. I can think of a few JAV movies even besides the news announcer ones, and there's a compilation from US pornos you'll find searching "remember, don't talk with your mouth full" online...

My vote is for erotic poetry reading is thus to have the chick read the poem with a dick in her mouth.

[TMC (free cage girl)]

I've seen a few clips where a chick has been talking or even attempting to sing while getting facials, dicks in her face/mouth or giving while giving blowjobs/deepthroats, no poetry but. I can think of a few JAV movies even besides the news announcer ones, and there's a compilation from US pornos you'll find searching "remember, don't talk with your mouth full" online...

My vote is for erotic poetry reading is thus to have the chick read the poem with a dick in her mouth.


how about, we choke the girl little bit and cum on face and girl read poem:cool2: but we need to pretend choke the girl. because, i like girls and this is just for kind of video clip.

some Jav porno is too much, 100 guy cum in mouth and tied up to roof and they put water from ass and brown stuff from roof to floor.

i like more soft fantasy one. young sister sucking old brother of penis, sister never had a sex and old brother teaching ABC. brother cum in mouth and sister asking about sperm to brother. brother ask to sister what is the taste like? sister says taste like a onichan ( onichan is old brother) hahah:cool2: soft fantasy is more poem :cool2:

[Cunt Destroyer]

we choke the girl a little bit and cum on face ... 100 guy cum in mouth and tie up to roof ... young sister suck old brother penis and brother cum in mouth :cool2:

Far out bro you're a really really messed up guy!!!

[TMC (free cage girl)]

Far out bro you're a really really messed up guy!!!

Ah? better look after self. its your life. it's my life.

he fucked up. he was real stupid. destroy his life his self. if he need drink. i will buy for him.