*Erotic Poem* – *Erotic Poem* – *Erotic Poem* As Promised, For Your Consideration

[SirLaughsAlot]

Passions Entwine

She stands before me with wanton eye,
And body made for pleasure,
Then turns her head to see me smile,
As I think of the impending treasure.

She softly moves into my arms,
Falling gently to my chest,
As I hold her close and lightly stroke,
Her full and ample breast.

Things soon stir within us deep,
Our passions inexorably entwine,
She takes my sword with gentle hand,
As I taste her lips of wine.

Closer still, our bodies one,
She guides my entry to her treasure,
I kiss her still and part raise her limb,
She’s warm and moist, in suitable measure.

Back and forth my manhood passes,
Over the doorway to her core,
Definitions are now undeniably blurred,
Whether she’s my lover, temptress or whore.

Yet, it’s of no matter in the intimate moment,
When the sword slowly enters the sheath,
So I thrust in deep to hear her moan,
As I fondle her underneath.

With my relentless penetration she responds in kind,
And writhes whilst craving her pleasure,
Pulsating with an understanding rhythm,
Until I erupt and fully consummate our leisure.

[Sextus]

You must not be at your desk, normally you'd be looking for responses by now. Give it a while yet!

[SirLaughsAlot]

You must not be at your desk, normally you'd be looking for responses by now. Give it a while yet!

Yeah, I was a little busy this afternoon Sextus, but I'm quite content to wait for any considered comments.
A couple of my recent supporters, Proximo & DiamondEyes, have already been banned, so I'm not overly
optimistic that visitors/new members will be in a hurry to comment positively. But, knowing of you as I do,
if you have any thoughts or views, I'm very happy indeed to receive them as usual. Good onya Sextus.

[uglyphil]

You must not be at your desk, normally you'd be looking for responses by now. Give it a while yet!

LOL...

C'mon Sextus, you have to give him time to make up new member names in order to produce some meaningless support ;)

That or wait for him to spam people's PM boxes begging for it :miao:

[AHLUNGOR]

Passions Entwine

She stands before with wanton eye,
And body made for pleasure,
Then turns her head to see me smile,
As I think of the impending treasure.

She softly moves into my arms,
Falling gently to my chest,
As I hold her close and lightly stroke,
Her full and ample breast.

Things soon stir within us deep,
Our passions inexorably entwine,
She takes my sword with gentle hand,
As I taste her lips of wine.

Closer still, our bodies one,
She guides my entry to her treasure,
I kiss her still and part raise her limb,
She’s warm and moist, in suitable measure.

Back and forth my manhood passes,
Over the doorway to her core,
Definitions are now undeniably blurred,
Whether she’s my lover, temptress or whore.

Yet, it’s of no matter in the intimate moment,
When the sword slowly enters the sheath,
So I thrust in deep to hear her moan,
As I fondle her underneath.

With my relentless penetration she responds in kind,
And writhes whilst craving her pleasure,
Pulsating with an understanding rhythm,
Until I erupt and fully consummate our leisure.

No blow job ??

[SirLaughsAlot]

No blow job ??

I could always add a couple verses I suppose to include other activities including bj,
greek, etc, etc. Many great poets have revisited their work like Tennyson, Wordsworth,
Keats and Coleridge and have added some things. But, you know form my perspective,
I think it flows very nice just the way it is. Truly, it's a piece of erotic poetic genius, because
it is so tastefully done.

Thanks for your comment Ahlungor, very much appreciated.

[TMC (free cage girl)]

Passions Entwine

She stands before with wanton eye,
And body made for pleasure,
Then turns her head to see me smile,
As I think of the impending treasure.

She softly moves into my arms,
Falling gently to my chest,
As I hold her close and lightly stroke,
Her full and ample breast.

Things soon stir within us deep,
Our passions inexorably entwine,
She takes my sword with gentle hand,
As I taste her lips of wine.

Closer still, our bodies one,
She guides my entry to her treasure,
I kiss her still and part raise her limb,
She’s warm and moist, in suitable measure.

Back and forth my manhood passes,
Over the doorway to her core,
Definitions are now undeniably blurred,
Whether she’s my lover, temptress or whore.

Yet, it’s of no matter in the intimate moment,
When the sword slowly enters the sheath,
So I thrust in deep to hear her moan,
As I fondle her underneath.

With my relentless penetration she responds in kind,
And writhes whilst craving her pleasure,
Pulsating with an understanding rhythm,
Until I erupt and fully consummate our leisure.

very goooooooooood:cool2: million dollar:slobber:

[SirLaughsAlot]

very goooooooooood:cool2: million dollar:slobber:

Thanks TMC, I can see you have impeccable taste....good onya.

[SirLaughsAlot]

LOL...

C'mon Sextus, you have to give him time to make up new member names in order to produce some meaningless support ;)

You're the chap who keeps saying I'm on your "ignore list" and then you continue to visit and make your inaccurate statements.
I think it is probably better that you try to stick with having me on your ignore list, then you won't make yourself a contrary mary.
For the record, again, Proximo and DiamondEyes were completely independent operators, they just happened to like my poetry,
and then were banned. I'm happy for you to have me on your ignore list, I only wish you would in fact ignore me and my posts.
I guess it's easier said than done, for you. Perhaps you haven't yet noticed that I have several interested observers, and there are
others who prefer not to post, for obvious reasons.

Having said all that, if you want to make a considered critique of the poem, please feel free to do so. I have no objection to
impartial comment and constructive criticism.

[SirLaughsAlot]

Many thanks to Sextus, Ahlungor, TMC, Proximo, DiamondEyes, Mr Crash & Burn, and others for recently showing
their interest, and providing considered comments on my poems, including this most recent erotic poetic piece.

Cheers, to one and all.

[Sextus]

Patience. I haven't had a chance to comment yet, on this one or on Licker's.

[SirLaughsAlot]

Patience. I haven't had a chance to comment yet, on this one or on Licker's.

I'm not expecting any particular comment, or extensive critique, from you on this erotic poem Sextus.
You've already shown plenty of interest over recent months. In fact, it might well be in your long-term interest
to position your focus and interest elsewhere in the current climate, I wouldn't want you to suffer the same fate as
Proximo and DiamondEyes - both impartial, independent supporters of genuine, quality poetry.

[Sextus]

I like commenting on poetry even though I don't have much understanding of it. I enjoy reading it too, the good parts, the humourous parts, and the forced parts (the latter two are often the same.) But I've just been using this long weekend to clear a backlog of my real work!

[SirLaughsAlot]

I like commenting on poetry even though I don't have much understanding of it. I enjoy reading it too, the good parts, the humourous parts, and the forced parts (the latter two are often the same.) But I've just been using this long weekend to clear a backlog of my real work!

Your previous critiques demonstrate a very good appreciation of poetic literature – you really don’t give yourself enough credit for
just how much you do understand. I’m sure there are many good poems waiting to be created and written by you.
Having said that, genuine “enjoyment” of poetry, on any level, is more important than detailed analytical understanding.
In fact, over-analysis can be detrimental to the simple enjoyment of the poem (or otherwise), and it can certainly inhibit the creative
writing process. Inspiration is key, certainly to the writer. Over-analysis can be a wet blanket to the creative spark.
But some analysis can be useful - "balance in all things."

[Sextus]

In fact, over-analysis can be detrimental to the creative writing process. Inspiration is key, certainly to the writer. Over-analysis can be a wet blanket to the creative spark.


True, I don't want to make you self-conscious or inhibited in writing them by, not so much critiquing, as pulling them apart like a whole chicken. I could just make some general remarks I suppose.

[Zoot]

I like this poem! Well done Sir!

Two comments:

The poem reads very well. In my opinion this is its biggest strength. Unlike a lot of poetry its not pretencious at all, just a good use of functional and descriptive English.

I'm not a huge fan of the ending though and I think the poem would benfit from another couple of lines to tie things off. So you climaxed at the end. But what about her? And what happened after the love making? Or was it only ever about you and your orgasm?

Anyway, just a couple of thoughts. Great stuff keep it up!

[SirLaughsAlot]

True, I don't want to make you self-conscious or inhibited in writing them by, not so much critiquing, as pulling them apart like a whole chicken. I could just make some general remarks I suppose.

Any comments, or critques, from the longest-standing impartial observer are welcome Sextus.
(Except for madame la Guillotine - hahaha)

Good onya Sextus.....

[SirLaughsAlot]

I like this poem! Well done Sir!

Two comments:

The poem reads very well. In my opinion this is its biggest strength. Unlike a lot of poetry its not pretencious at all, just a good use of functional and descriptive English.

I'm not a huge fan of the ending though and I think the poem would benfit from another couple of lines to tie things off. So you climaxed at the end. But what about her? And what happened after the love making? Or was it only ever about you and your orgasm?

Anyway, just a couple of thoughts. Great stuff keep it up!

Thanks Zoot, you've got impeccable taste. As for the ending, well there's no end to what a poet can do or how much they might say,
but in the interests of brevity (and due to the shooting star of inspiration) I tend not to write too many verses per poem.
However, many other great poets like Wordsworth, Keats, and Tennyson did return to their works and subsequently add verses.
So, it's a possibility. But, at them moment, I don't envisage doing that with any of my poems.

Yes, I'm bound to say, I wrote it from the perspective of my goodself. I think it would be difficult to write a love-making session from
the perspective of a woman, if you're a man. But she was a most willing participant and I was most attentive to her obvious needs.
And I was quite respectful in the poem, as I was in the love-making.....yeah baby.

Cheers....

[SirLaughsAlot]

Thanks for all the interest and comments made on my erotic poem "Passions Entwine."

All the best to you, fine poetry lovers....

[TMC (free cage girl)]

i think poem is good to get chicks. i want say i do poem to girl:cool2:

[SirLaughsAlot]

i think poem is good to get chicks. i want say i do poem to girl:cool2:

Women often say they like poetry, but I don't think they like poetry as much as men, to be honest.
They like the thought of a guy writing a poem for them, i.e they are receiving something from the guy,
perhaps a token of the man's esteem. That's what women really like.
Men are typically the creative thinkers & doers, while women like things to be created for them.
This is the reason why the vast majority of great poets, artists and musicians are men.

[TMC (free cage girl)]

Women often say they like poetry, but I don't think they like poetry as much as men, to be honest.
They like the thought of a guy writing a poem for them, i.e they are receiving something from the guy,
perhaps a token of the man's esteem. That's what women really like.
Men are typically the creative thinkers & doers, while women like things to be created for them.
This is the reason why the vast majority of great poets, artists and musicians are men.

oh! I can agreee. man's are more romantic than woman. woman's looking for romantic but doesnt create the romantic thing.

i like woman poem too. it's good for understanding woman. mans' has pencil it's doesn't has ink but when pencil put in to the pussy, it will get red ink sometime.:cool2:

woman's likes jargon. always says jargon and complain. we receive complain from woman. we sort it out by pencil for woman. we put it to mouth and pussy.

we give off the white colour of ink inside. we sort it out all problem.

woman's likes eat and dress up and jargon. i like when woman dress up nice. because my pencil want create poem with woman.


I like vivaldi. he is the best artist for create music. recently people likes new technology, new technology more good for woman's things.

dildo is good woman's. not good for man's/ it not romantic. I like rubber sex and children's, i only protect 2 things from new technology.

[Zoot]

I like rubber sex and children's, i only protect 2 things from new technology.

You like rubber sex and children?

Um, that just doesn't sound right bro!

[TMC (free cage girl)]

You like rubber sex and children?

Um, that just doesn't sound right bro!

Rubber sex can not make kids but, if the rubber has hole and my sperm get in to pussy and makes baby. i will look after kids:cool2:

I never tried without rubber Sex. penis is my passport,rubber is my insurance :cool2:

[SirLaughsAlot]

oh! I can agreee. man's are more romantic than woman. woman's looking for romantic but doesnt create the romantic thing.

we receive complain from woman. we sort it out by pencil for woman. we put it to mouth and pussy.

I like vivaldi. he is the best artist for create music. recently people likes new technology, new technology more good for woman's things.

dildo is good woman's. not good for man's/ it not romantic.

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you say......and yes, Vivaldi certainly wrote fabulous classical music.

Cheers...

[CunningLinguist]

I like this poem! Well done Sir!

Two comments:

The poem reads very well. In my opinion this is its biggest strength. Unlike a lot of poetry its not pretencious at all, just a good use of functional and descriptive English.

I'm not a huge fan of the ending though and I think the poem would benfit from another couple of lines to tie things off. So you climaxed at the end. But what about her? And what happened after the love making? Or was it only ever about you and your orgasm?

Anyway, just a couple of thoughts. Great stuff keep it up!

I thought you were a little crazy, this thread of yours confirms it. (http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?42453-HIV-positive-customers&p=506000&viewfull=1#post506000)

[SirLaughsAlot]

I thought you were a little crazy, this thread of yours confirms it. (http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?42453-HIV-positive-customers&p=506000&viewfull=1#post506000)

You were wrong about Proximo,
You were wrong about DiamondEyes,
and you're wrong about Zoot.

I have absolutely nothing to do with any of the above names/punters.

This is a thread about an erotic poem, I take it you didn't get past the second line again CL, nevermind sugarplum.
Nevertheless here you are, making a fool of yourself, yet again.

[CunningLinguist]

You were wrong about Proximo,
You were wrong about DiamondEyes,
and you're wrong about Zoot.

I have absolutely nothing to do with any of the above names/punters.

This is a thread about an erotic poem, I take it you didn't get past the second line again CL, nevermind sugarplum.
Nevertheless here you are, making a fool of yourself, yet again.

If you weren't such a troll and hadn't been banned 23 times (http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?39297-Banned-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again) maybe someone would believe you ...
Also I never said Zoot was you, you fool ...

[SirLaughsAlot]

Get a life for yourself CL, you included a link to Zoot's post on the above comment,
a blind man could see you are trying to link me with him or her - your behaviour is becoming pathetic.
Stop visiting threads just to spread your abject misery.

If you want to comment on this thread, read the poem and make a civilised comment.
Demonstrate your literary skills by providing a considered critique, otherwise stay away.

[SirLaughsAlot]

Rubber sex can not make kids but, if the rubber has hole and my sperm get in to pussy and makes baby. i will look after kids:cool2:

I never tried without rubber Sex. penis is my passport,rubber is my insurance :cool2:

"my penis is my passport, rubber is my insurance" - I like this expression it has a poetic ring to it.

[SirLaughsAlot]

I have been delighted with the "considered" comments on my erotic poem,
and I'm looking forward to my next submission this coming Saturday.
In the interests of variety, the next poem will be quite different to the current erotic piece,
but it will certainly have something to say about the human emotional/cognitive condition,
which, of course, impacts on our sexual behaviour, and is similarly impacted by it.

Warm regards to my comrades who have shown an interest in fine poetry.

Cheers......

[SirLaughsAlot]

True, I don't want to make you self-conscious or inhibited in writing them by, not so much critiquing, as pulling them apart like a whole chicken. I could just make some general remarks I suppose.

As the longstanding impartial observer that you are, feel free to "pull them apart like a whole chicken."
My point was, and is, that as the author, I prefer not to over-analyse my own work. I do some reflection obviously,
but the creative spark does not always respond well to cold self-anaysis.

[CunningLinguist]

does not always respond well to cold self-anaysis.

Which is exactly what you need ...

[SirLaughsAlot]

A day without laughter is day lost, this is so very true.

"Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone," Shakespeare.
This is a fabulous line by Shakespeare, I could have written it, but he did, so well done William Shakespeare.

Still, I'm sure there are many great lines waiting to be written by other literary giants like myself.

Cheers to my poetry loving comrades......next poem scheduled for this coming Saturday.

[CunningLinguist]

Still, I'm sure there are many great lines waiting to be written by other literary giants like myself.


What a self-aggrandising twat you are, now wonder you have been banned 23 times ... (http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?39297-Banned-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again)

[SirLaughsAlot]

What a self-agrandising twat you are, now wonder you have been banned 23 times ... (http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?39297-Banned-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again)

There are two "G" in aggrandising, and neither Proximo or DiamondEyes were my creations, so your numbers in the table are wrong, just like your spelling.
Your table actually says 24, but it should really say 22. I'm a stickler for accuracy CL, and I don't want anyone else getting credited with my moves.

[SirLaughsAlot]

It's a wonderful day; the birds are singing, the sun is shining (at this precise moment anyway), cup of tea in hand, all's well with the world.

[TMC (free cage girl)]

It's a wonderful day; the birds are singing, the sun is shining (at this precise moment anyway), cup of tea in hand, all's well with the world.

i feel pain from my arm. i just remember, i met the girl last night she bite my arm, kick my leg by high heels.

skin changed colour little bit. im little bit hungover ............


the girl was OZ around 27yo, nice fake boob, it was little bite crazy night:cool2: my dogs play with her under wear. i dont know why dogs has her under wear.
:cool2:

[CunningLinguist]

There are two "G" in aggrandising, and neither Proximo or DiamondEyes were my creations, so your numbers in the table are wrong, just like your spelling.
Your table actually says 24, but it should really say 22. I'm a stickler for accuracy CL, and I don't want anyone else getting credited with my moves.

Thanks for the spelling correction, your post is interesting this will help me with my thread: Psychological profile of the "poet" troll (http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?42455-Psychological-profile-of-the-quot-poet-quot-troll)

[CunningLinguist]

It's a wonderful day; the birds are singing, the sun is shining (at this precise moment anyway), cup of tea in hand, all's well with the world.

And then you got banned ...

[SirLaughsAlot]

i feel pain from my arm. i just remember, i met the girl last night she bite my arm, kick my leg by high heels.

skin changed colour little bit. im little bit hungover ............


the girl was OZ around 27yo, nice fake boob, it was little bite crazy night:cool2: my dogs play with her under wear. i dont know why dogs has her under wear.
:cool2:

Sorry to hear of your minor injuries, it sounds like you had a busy night, and a good night, but you still have to take care of yourself.

Cheers,
SirLaughsAlot

[TMC (free cage girl)]

Sorry to hear of your minor injuries, it sounds like you had a busy night, and a good night, but you still have to take care of yourself.

Cheers,
SirLaughsAlot

i got injury lastnight:cool2: now it's getting better. thank you for worry about me.

im going to have a party with girl tonight. she is mecian girl. long hair and skinny and 21yo, i pick up her in kings cross. we dance little bit and we had a special shoot drink together before. she want to see mee tonight at holiday in hotel. i need lift up her and fuck proper. but my arm has still pain by high heels kick and bite her teeth.

i do my best. i do 2 shot with her:cool2:

[SirLaughsAlot]

i got injury lastnight:cool2: now it's getting better. thank you for worry about me.

im going to have a party with girl tonight. she is mecian girl. long hair and skinny and 21yo, i pick up her in kings cross. we dance little bit and we had a special shoot drink together before. she want to see mee tonight at holiday in hotel. i need lift up her and fuck proper. but my arm has still pain by high heels kick and bite her teeth.

i do my best. i do 2 shot with her:cool2:

Good luck with everything tonight, give her one from "the poet."
I hope you are not too hungover to review my new poem tomorrow afternoon.

Cheers.....

[SirLaughsAlot]

I'm planning a 3pm "launch" for tomorrow's new poem, or rather today's poem as it's already gone midnight.
I'm very much looking forward to all considered comments and or any full blown impartial & intelligent critiques.

Cheers.
SirLaughsAlot.

[Licker]

I'm planning a 3pm "launch" for tomorrow's new poem, or rather today's poem as it's already gone midnight.
I'm very much looking forward to all considered comments and or any full blown impartial & intelligent critiques.

Cheers.
SirLaughsAlot.

And yet you haven't given any considered comments on my poem.
Why is that my fellow poet?

I know I haven't commented this one of yours, but I did comment some of your earlier work.

[Sextus]

Don't worry laureates, ever hungry for your public. I will still be commenting on both these poems, perhaps tomorrow.

[Licker]

Don't worry laureates, ever hungry for your public. I will still be commenting on both these poems, perhaps tomorrow.

LOL Sextus, I was just wondering why CM, HRG, SLA... haven't made any effort to comment on mine, while he is so eager to get comments on his poem.

My poem is just about how I felt four years ago, when a seven year long relationship ended and as a result that started a punting spree where I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I just felt numb, the sex was at times great, but still meaningless, and there where times when I did not know what to feel, whether to laugh or cry, or would it be just better not to feel at all.
Well, not all the places were wrong, some of the ladies were really lovely. And I have since been cured (time, you know)

By the way, did you watch the Kylie and Men behaving badly clip I posted on the LD's in R&T thread?
---------------------

For SLA:
I thought this poem of yours felt forced, written after a request, your heart wasn't in it, thus it lacks depth.

[TMC (free cage girl)]

i read all poem. im keen to learn for start poem of my experience.

[CunningLinguist]

And yet you haven't given any considered comments on my poem.
Why is that my fellow poet?


That's because he is a self serving self-aggrandising arrogant prick that craves attention for his own work and doesn't care about anyone but himself ...
He is like a 2 year old.

[SirLaughsAlot]

It's most gratifying to see the growing interest in fine poetry.
My next piece of sublime poetic literature is scheduled for "launch" at about 3pm today.
I'm excited at the prospect of all your considered comments and critiques.

However, if you genuinely has no interest, and are unable to maintain a degree of civility,
I think it is much better that you find other threads of interest, and or start your own threads.
Pre-meditated, malicious comments reflect very poorly on the deliverer and they diminish the forum.

Warm regards,
SirLaughsAlot

[Sextus]

the good parts, the humourous parts, and the forced parts


I thought this poem of yours felt forced

It looks like we arrived at similar conclusions in some aspects.

[CunningLinguist]

Pre-meditated, malicious comments reflect very poorly on the deliverer and they diminish the forum.


And the irony escapes you ...

[TMC (free cage girl)]

Passions Entwine

She stands before me with wanton eye,
And body made for pleasure,
Then turns her head to see me smile,
As I think of the impending treasure.

She softly moves into my arms,
Falling gently to my chest,
As I hold her close and lightly stroke,
Her full and ample breast.

Things soon stir within us deep,
Our passions inexorably entwine,
She takes my sword with gentle hand,
As I taste her lips of wine.

Closer still, our bodies one,
She guides my entry to her treasure,
I kiss her still and part raise her limb,
She’s warm and moist, in suitable measure.

Back and forth my manhood passes,
Over the doorway to her core,
Definitions are now undeniably blurred,
Whether she’s my lover, temptress or whore.

Yet, it’s of no matter in the intimate moment,
When the sword slowly enters the sheath,
So I thrust in deep to hear her moan,
As I fondle her underneath.

With my relentless penetration she responds in kind,
And writhes whilst craving her pleasure,
Pulsating with an understanding rhythm,
Until I erupt and fully consummate our leisure.

2nd poem is good but 1 st one is more deep.

million dollar :cool2: