Steven Seagal
05-01-2013, 01:54 PM
Hi All,
Here we are with the second lesson of Steven Seagal’s Guide to Assessing Asian Massage Parlours.
Let me refresh your memory with the general principles I outlined in our first lesson. These were:
1. Nothing is always true. Any rule or principle has numerous exceptions.
2. No single piece of data, except a WL saying “You can fuck me for $50 ensures that extras are on the table.
3. Things are not always as they seem.
4. If you are gentle and treat people with respect a good outcome is most likely
5. When in doubt ask halfway through the massage.
6. ‘No’ means ‘No’ and should be automatically respected.
In this lesson I want to alert you to various signs that will indicate that extras may or may not be available.
First, if the place is located in a shopping centre or a Westfield you can generally forget about extras. Management of these outfits don’t won’t you bonking the shit out of some Asian milf while a few feet away the Brady Bunch are buying their cornflakes. What you want is joints that are located in industrial area or up flights of dark and dangerous steps.
Second, as you stand outside is there one of those small, cheap florescent signs that says ‘Open”? If so you’re usually approaching a joint that wants to get in their greasy hands, rather than splurge money on fancy non-essentials.
Third, when you stand outside the shop there is often a price structure on the window. The cheaper the per hour rate the more likely that extras will be available. Why? Because if a lady is giving you a massage for $50 she is not getting the full amount of that and is likely to want to supplement her income. (That’s why you are less likely to get extras in those Thai places that charge $120 for the hour for a shithouse massage.)
Fourth, you have now entered the place. Are there a bunch of massage tables separated only by curtains? If so that’s a really bad sign for extras. Mamasan is hardly going to want the bloke on the table next to me to hear me engaged in the following:
Massage lady: Oh Seagal, fuck me hard!
Seagal; Sure baby and let me suck that tit!
Massage lady: Oh Seagal, your cock is so big.
Seagal: Is the earth moving for you too baby?
A sense of privacy is essential for extras as that dickhead on the other table may be from council and will either a.) Want to shut the joint down or b) Demand they give him a freebie. It is also not a particularly good sign, where there are cubicles, if there are no doors on the cubicle, but merely a piece of material. This also minimises privacy.
Fifth, this is merely advice. Always have a $100 note that you give papasan or mamasan. They will have to give you change and if the joint offers extras they will know you have some ‘walking around money’ you can use for them.
Sixth, you’re in the room. Is it poorly lit with a 2 watt light bulb? If so, that’s a good sign as these cheap places think that sets up some sort of sexy ambiance and puts an erotic spin on things.
Seventh, as you strip off scan the room. Are there any containers of lube floating around? I once went to a place in Seven Hills and actually saw a box of condoms! This might help to know what might be on the cards.
Eighth, if the place offers extras it will come up, like your cock will, halfway through the session when she asks you to roll over. If she offers a handjob it is quite ok to ask her if she offers nude, sex etc. Don’t be shy, but be polite.
Finally, you have scored pay-dirt and get extras. How much is reasonable to pay? As a general rule, at the low end of the Chinese remedial massage market the following are reasonable:
Handjob $20-$30.
Blowjob: $30-50.
Nude Handjob: $50
Sex: $50.
It is generally not a good idea to try and bargain her down. I mean after all, if she is sucking your cock you want her to be in a reasonable mood don’t you?
Well, that is our lesson for today. Within the next couple of days I will post about my massage experience with Vicky at 501 King Street, Newtown.
Happy punting.
See you again soon.
Until that time friends. . . until that time.
Steven
Here we are with the second lesson of Steven Seagal’s Guide to Assessing Asian Massage Parlours.
Let me refresh your memory with the general principles I outlined in our first lesson. These were:
1. Nothing is always true. Any rule or principle has numerous exceptions.
2. No single piece of data, except a WL saying “You can fuck me for $50 ensures that extras are on the table.
3. Things are not always as they seem.
4. If you are gentle and treat people with respect a good outcome is most likely
5. When in doubt ask halfway through the massage.
6. ‘No’ means ‘No’ and should be automatically respected.
In this lesson I want to alert you to various signs that will indicate that extras may or may not be available.
First, if the place is located in a shopping centre or a Westfield you can generally forget about extras. Management of these outfits don’t won’t you bonking the shit out of some Asian milf while a few feet away the Brady Bunch are buying their cornflakes. What you want is joints that are located in industrial area or up flights of dark and dangerous steps.
Second, as you stand outside is there one of those small, cheap florescent signs that says ‘Open”? If so you’re usually approaching a joint that wants to get in their greasy hands, rather than splurge money on fancy non-essentials.
Third, when you stand outside the shop there is often a price structure on the window. The cheaper the per hour rate the more likely that extras will be available. Why? Because if a lady is giving you a massage for $50 she is not getting the full amount of that and is likely to want to supplement her income. (That’s why you are less likely to get extras in those Thai places that charge $120 for the hour for a shithouse massage.)
Fourth, you have now entered the place. Are there a bunch of massage tables separated only by curtains? If so that’s a really bad sign for extras. Mamasan is hardly going to want the bloke on the table next to me to hear me engaged in the following:
Massage lady: Oh Seagal, fuck me hard!
Seagal; Sure baby and let me suck that tit!
Massage lady: Oh Seagal, your cock is so big.
Seagal: Is the earth moving for you too baby?
A sense of privacy is essential for extras as that dickhead on the other table may be from council and will either a.) Want to shut the joint down or b) Demand they give him a freebie. It is also not a particularly good sign, where there are cubicles, if there are no doors on the cubicle, but merely a piece of material. This also minimises privacy.
Fifth, this is merely advice. Always have a $100 note that you give papasan or mamasan. They will have to give you change and if the joint offers extras they will know you have some ‘walking around money’ you can use for them.
Sixth, you’re in the room. Is it poorly lit with a 2 watt light bulb? If so, that’s a good sign as these cheap places think that sets up some sort of sexy ambiance and puts an erotic spin on things.
Seventh, as you strip off scan the room. Are there any containers of lube floating around? I once went to a place in Seven Hills and actually saw a box of condoms! This might help to know what might be on the cards.
Eighth, if the place offers extras it will come up, like your cock will, halfway through the session when she asks you to roll over. If she offers a handjob it is quite ok to ask her if she offers nude, sex etc. Don’t be shy, but be polite.
Finally, you have scored pay-dirt and get extras. How much is reasonable to pay? As a general rule, at the low end of the Chinese remedial massage market the following are reasonable:
Handjob $20-$30.
Blowjob: $30-50.
Nude Handjob: $50
Sex: $50.
It is generally not a good idea to try and bargain her down. I mean after all, if she is sucking your cock you want her to be in a reasonable mood don’t you?
Well, that is our lesson for today. Within the next couple of days I will post about my massage experience with Vicky at 501 King Street, Newtown.
Happy punting.
See you again soon.
Until that time friends. . . until that time.
Steven