Freakin Hilarious !!

[gpeck80]

http://nationalreport.net/fappy-the-dolphin-arrested-for-public-masturbation/

[BrisMoses]

That is pure gold

[gitl]

Fappy the Anti Masturbation Dolphin... SERIOUSLY?? The lunatic fringe is getting more and more lunatic every year...

[gpeck80]

"Tom Downey with the Phoenix Police Department, who took Horner into custody, spoke with Arizona news station ABC 15 about the arrest. “We thought at first he was possibly intoxicated or mentally unstable, ya know, talking about children and how deadly it is for them to masturbate. Telling us he was in town with a Christian organization aimed at talking with children about the dangers of masturbation. Saying things like, ‘They need to stop playing on the devil’s playground, stop pounding their devil stick or ringing the Devil’s doorbell’,” Downey said. “Things got very odd when Horner broke down crying in the back of my cruiser and began making noises, kind of like a fish, saying that he believed himself to be an actual dolphin. It was really strange.”"

[BrisMoses]

Ringing the devils doorbell LMFAO
Masturbation deadly ?? If ML's find that out they might start asking for larger tips to save our lives

[CunningLinguist]

There is something fishy about that story ...

[uglyphil]

Well, technically a dolphin is not a fish ;)

But seeing as how the "National Report" is a satirical news site (i.e. all the stories are made up) and Fappy himself is a pisstake dig at the Westboro Church and Monsanto (2 unlikely allies there) then yep, something smells about that story.

What I find truly funny is the number of people (judging by the comments on the story page) who don't realise this is a con! But then again, maybe the comments are part of the joke ;)

[gpeck80]

Yeah the girls might ask for danger pay lol

[gpeck80]

"Horner told CNN by phone that he plans to make the most of his imprisonment. “I want to apologize to all my amazing fans out there, I love and miss you all,” Horner said. “You have my word that I will make the most of this bad situation. Jail is just a hotbed for self-rape and immoral acts. I plan to do everything in my power to stop the masturbation currently happening in this jail.”"


BAHAHAHA

[tonksy]

Too funny hahaha