How badly have I screwed my chances with this girl?

[rage_face]

General talk, non-WL related.

So I met this ABC chick about six months ago in a lecture. We are both late 20's. At first we didn't know each other that well, just got introduced briefly. I thought she was ok looking, nothing special, but I did notice her checking me out (not sure why as I consider myself quite average looking). For example, one time we were in a lecture and she was sitting a few rows diagonally in front of me, and that night I had my suit on, and she kept looking back at me.

During one lecture I sat next to her, and we were talking about my textbook and she kept pointing to my book but touched my hand in doing so. Like, many times.

About a month later, we decided to study together every weekend. During these study sessions, we would go for long lunches, and would take turns paying, which was good, because my ex always had me pay for everything, so this was a good change. She would always share/give me food from her plate, which made me think maybe there was something there.

I asked her out, and she seemed excited about it but said she would think about it and get back to me. She never did. From then on, she pulled out of our study sessions with various excuses. After our exams, we had dinner one night because it was my birthday. She bought me a $60 champagne. She told me something very personal, and she said she had only ever told one other person. She said she told me that because she trusted me, but added that she felt like she did not know that much about me. I thought everything was going great until she told me that someone had suggested to her that it was about time she found a boyfriend, and so she was meeting up with a guy the next day for lunch who had liked her for 5 years now. Looking back, I'm not sure if that was just a 'game' to see if I'd get jealous.

She also asked me what I was looking for, like if it was a serious relationship. She asked me what I like in a girl.

Walked her home that night and had a chance to kiss her, but was too nervous.

She went overseas after that, and when she came back she messaged me and we had lunch the next day. Again, she made efforts to touch my hand in some way, like asking for a high five while I was driving. We somehow got talking about engagement rings, and she said she'd accept a cheap ring as long as she liked the guy, and she winked at me as she said this. So I'm thinking, she's showing interest right?

By now I had noticed that, unlike in the past, she hadn't offered to pay for either the dinner or the lunch. Was she treating these as dates?

A week after, we had lunch again. I knew I had to do something because I was afraid of being "friend zoned". I gave her a pen engraved with her name as a gift for passing her exams. I waited all day for the right time to make a move but it never came around. When I drove her home, she thanked me for the day and I said it wasn't a problem cause I liked spending time with her. I asked her if she wanted to meet up next week and she said "we'll see". So somehow I got the vibe that it wasn't so good for some reason.

Two days later I call her and she doesn't call back, which was weird, because she had always called me back within 5 minutes in the past. Next day she still didn't call back and I started to panic - had I done something wrong?

So I asked my friend for advice, and she told me to go to her house with flowers and tell her I liked her, because I was being too indirect. I said that was too full on, but she insisted I do it. So after work, I bought a rose, and called her but she told me she wasn't home. Trying to go with my friend's advice, I tried to control the situation by saying I'd be there at x time, and she got a bit upset asking why I was being so persistent. I backed off and said I'll wait to hear from her.

I knew I had fucked up royally, so an hour later I called her up to apologise. I told her that I had wanted to tell her something on Saturday but didn't get the chance. I told her that I liked her, but that I wasn't sure if she felt the same way. I said I couldn't be friends with someone I liked. I said I had gone through it before, watching my friend meet a guy and later get married and I didn't want to go through it again. She said this was all a bit sudden. I said I wasn't trying to pressure her, but just to let her know how I felt.

She said she cared for me, and was sad to lose me as a friend. I said we had a lot in common, shared the same values and got along well. She agreed with all of that. I said she must've known at some point that I liked her. She said she guessed it when I gave her the engraved pen, because that was a bit too personal for her. So I guess that is why she didn't return my call those two days later. During the talk, she mainly remained silent and allowed me to talk. She said she was sorry if she hurt me, but I said she didn't need to be, because I wasn't trying to blame her. She didn't say anything either way, but I guess that's not a good sign. We said goodbye and I hung up.

So, after all that, I ask for the help of all experienced men here:

1. How bad have I fucked up and what are the chances that I could recover from this?
2. If I want to recover, should I wait for her to contact me, or should I wait a long time before contacting her?
3. Does anyone think she would initiate contact, or am I as good as dead?
4. Do you think an engraved pen is too personal?
5. Do you think it never occurred to her that I liked her before the pen? For me, if a guy asks a girl out, picks her up, pays for the meal, drives her home, that's a pretty good indication that he likes her. Especially if this keeps happening.
6. Does it sound like she liked me at any point in time? Or was it just friends all along?
7. Did I do the right thing by not even wanting to be friends? I honestly couldn't see how we could maintain being friends after telling her I liked her.

Also, would like to hear people's similar experiences about recovering from situations like these.

[slangman69]

To me it just sounds like she's a nice person who is open and friendly with others and you have taken her nice and friendly ways as signs of her being into you.

[yellow_fever]

You're totally fucked. PM me her number and name

[rage_face]

To me it just sounds like she's a nice person who is open and friendly with others and you have taken her nice and friendly ways as signs of her being into you.

I have thought about that too, but then what about checking me out in the lectures? Touching my hand? Winking at me about the engagement ring?

[Business Class]

Don't ask your friend for advice again in the future, that's the first thing I suggest.

Agree with slangman.

[slangman69]

I have thought about that too, but then what about checking me out in the lectures? Touching my hand? Winking at me about the engagement ring?

"Checking out" is pretty much just another way of saying "looking at".

Some people are touchy with everyone, even strangers.

The winking thing was probably just a weird/misunderstood joke.

[rage_face]

I guess it comes down to the ultimate question of what is the difference between a girl who is friendly and one who is interested?

Also, in my experience, if I ask a friendly girl out, and she just wants to be friends, she will always suggest bringing along a 3rd person.

[blitz]

1.you haven't exactly fucked up, but there is no recovery
2.see no.1
3.see no.1
4.no, it's a nice gift
5.unless she's really clueless then yes, she knew
6.friends all along
7.yep, if you have feelings for you her you can't hang around and watch her be with someone else.
it would do your head in.you've done the right thing

[Business Class]

I guess it comes down to the ultimate question of what is the difference between a girl who is friendly and one who is interested?

Also, in my experience, if I ask a friendly girl out, and she just wants to be friends, she will always suggest bringing along a 3rd person.

Things can change. Maybe she liked you when you first met but things changed for her, maybe she met someone else, could be any number of reasons. Otherwise the story just does not makes sense.

Either that, or you misread the signals.

[slangman69]

Also, in my experience, if I ask a friendly girl out, and she just wants to be friends, she will always suggest bringing along a 3rd person.

That is what a smart girl who understands how weird, clingy and obsessive guys can get would do in this situation, however the thing is that girls are often just as awkward and confused as you are and she probably doesn't think you are creepily obsessing over her like you are... She probably thought you were a good dude and enjoyed your company but never saw you as a potential partner, sexual or otherwise.

[Vaders Fist]

Honestly mate, don't dwell on things. It didn't work out, move on. Life's too short to be worried and self-conscious and trying to decipher what's going on in someone else's (let alone a woman's) mind.

[CunningLinguist]

She might be just playing with you to impress her friends or boost her ego.
The mixed signals game is a great way for her to exercise pussy power.
If you suck up to her now she will never respect you.
If you want to play her stupid game you need to let her see you with a girl who is better looking then her.
My advice find another girl who is more genuine.

[AHLUNGOR]

Hi brother rage face,

I had a quick look at some of the threads you started in the past, some very interesting topics !

So I'm not too sure if this is genuine or you are just having some fun by pulling our legs !

But since you spent so much efforts in writing your OP, I am happy to chip in and play along :

First and foremost, ask yourself these few questions:

1. What do you hope to get out from this relationship if you and this girl ends up BF and GF ! Is she potentially some one you can get serious with or even settle down ??

2. Are you just trying to score her, you are persistent because its challenging and you could not get her easily ?

3. Is she good enough for you to give up punting or seeing other girls !

4. Are you likely to fall for another girl in the near future like 3-6 months ? Even if you are with her !

If you answer these questions truthfully and you still want her, then go for it and just do the simple thing - like tell her about these 4 questions and share the answers with her !

Just my two cents

Good luck

Cheers

[CunningLinguist]

3. Is she good enough for you to give up punting or seeing other girls !

tell her about these 4 questions and share the answers with her !


Hmm, are you sure about this advice ...

[slangman69]

She might be just playing with you to impress her friends or boost her ego.
The mixed signals game is a great way for her to exercise pussy power.
If you suck up to her now she will never respect you.
If you want to play her stupid game you need to let her see you with a girl who is better looking then her.
My advice find another girl who is more genuine.

^^This guy has no idea and is living in a fantasy world.^^

[CunningLinguist]

^^This guy has no idea and is living in a fantasy world.^^

Interesting you would say that, here is something else you said:

I would love it if I could get service from ladyboys in Sydney. I have been massaged by ladyboys on trips to Thailand and it is fantastic. They know exactly what they are doing, they know what you want and the service they provide is unlike anything else and cannot be matched by that of a "real girl"!

Playing with their tiny balls and adorable little pecker until they get hard makes your heart race... and the feeling you get from their breasts rubbing against your back and their sweet lil cock rubbing against your butt is simply brilliant!
http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?42043-Market-Research-is-there-a-market-for-ladyboy-in-a-RnT-shop&p=526236#post526236

[slangman69]

Interesting you would say that, here is something else you said:

http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?42043-Market-Research-is-there-a-market-for-ladyboy-in-a-RnT-shop&p=526236#post526236


I don't understand what's wrong with that? Are you against being sexually open minded and fetish?

[TROLL]

Do you just want to bed her and have another notch on the belt or a genuine relationship

[CunningLinguist]

I don't understand what's wrong with that? Are you against being sexually open minded and fetish?

You accused me of living in a fantasy world ...

[slangman69]

You accused me of living in a fantasy world ...

Yes, because based on your comments you sounded like one of those pick up artist/male rights lunatics who think and speak about women as if they are mysterious lands to be conquered or video games to be beaten.

I have no idea what any of that has to do with me having had some fun, exciting and unique experiences with ladyboys while on vacation.

[CunningLinguist]

Yes, because based on your comments you sounded like one of those pick up artist/male rights lunatics who think and speak about women as if they are mysterious lands to be conquered or video games to be beaten.

I have no idea what any of that has to do with me having had some fun, exciting and unique experiences with ladyboys while on vacation.

So based on one comment you jumped to conclusions and decided to be agressive and insulting, you still think I am the one living in a fantasy world ...

Just to spell it out for you I was juxtaposing your comment about me and your comments about yourself and ladyboys so others could judge who was living in a fantasy world or not. You probably still don't get it ...

[slangman69]

So based on one comment you jumped to conclusions and decided to be agressive and insulting, you still think I am the one living in a fantasy world ...

Just to spell it out for you I was juxtaposing your comment about me and your comments about yourself and ladyboys so others could judge who was living in a fantasy world or not. You probably still don't get it ...

My conclusion was based on the five completely bonkers and misogynistic statements you made in your post. I was not aggressive (funnily enough, you were the one who went out of your way to privately contact me just to let me know that I was on your "fuckwit list"). I just shared my opinion that I feel you are living in a "fantasy world" where women are all demons using their "pussy power" to play with the emotions of men.

Even with your attempt to kindly spell things out, I have no idea what you are trying to say here...

[slangman69]

Maybe we should put all of this behind us, meet up and engage in some cocksliding with one another? Those gifs make it look like loads of fun!

[IExperiment]

My conclusion was based on the five completely bonkers and misogynistic statements you made in your post. I was not aggressive (funnily enough, you were the one who went out of your way to privately contact me just to let me know that I was on your "fuckwit list"). I just shared my opinion that I feel you are living in a "fantasy world" where women are all demons using their "pussy power" to play with the emotions of men.

Even with your attempt to kindly spell things out, I have no idea what you are trying to say here...


I actually agree with CL with she is playing the mind games since Rage is not coming forward quick enough.
Anyway Rage are you ok with serious relationship with her ?? can you actually see her in 20 years time and still find her attractive enough, as she is about your age ???
Most guys are animal and will always looks for greener pasture :) so I suggest to marry a girl at least 5 years + younger than you so they can keep up :)
Remember once they have kids they drop a few years to their age so can they keep up with you ??
I dont mean to be bad when you go out do you wanted to look like your going out with your mum ?? this is how the world look at us.

If you really just wanted to see where the relationship go just wait for her to comeback to you if she dont it mean she found someone else as she already mention her friend or who ever told her she need one ( parent pressure ussually is the case for girls close to 30 :) find a guy get married.
I have been in your situation more than 20 years ago and yep she did come back to me

[swag]

You are in a very sticky situation there, but it doesnt mean you have to give up!
But all the best brother & dont forget that there are many fish in the sea if all doesnt come out planned.

[bfe]

Man some of you guys here are fucked...Rage face bro, judging by the sound of things she wouldve been interested in you early on however things went stale quick and she eventually lost interest.
The pen was not too personal, that was fine, but my advice to you is as ahlungor bro said. Ask yourself if you really like this girl. If the answer is yes. Take a step back and give the hoe some space, stop being obsessive. I know its hard but you need to restrain your over excited ass. Give it about a week or 2 then reset and try again but this time dont come across as desperate. Play it casual and cool and get the girl. Just be yourself and be natural.

Never ever get dating advice from a woman. They are fucked in the head and dont know what theyre talking about half the times. Good luck rage face bro

[Vaders Fist]

Man some of you guys here are fucked...Rage face bro, judging by the sound of things she wouldve been interested in you early on however things went stale quick and she eventually lost interest.
The pen was not too personal, that was fine, but my advice to you is as ahlungor bro said. Ask yourself if you really like this girl. If the answer is yes. Take a step back and give the hoe some space, stop being obsessive. I know its hard but you need to restrain your over excited ass. Give it about a week or 2 then reset and try again but this time dont come across as desperate. Play it casual and cool and get the girl. Just be yourself and be natural.

Never ever get dating advice from a woman. They are fucked in the head and dont know what theyre talking about half the times. Good luck rage face bro

Best advice given yet.

[rage_face]

Thanks everyone for your input.


1.you haven't exactly fucked up, but there is no recovery
2.see no.1
3.see no.1
4.no, it's a nice gift
5.unless she's really clueless then yes, she knew
6.friends all along

Yeah, I kinda figured there's no recovery. I am sure she knew too, or at least had a very good idea. I think it would've been obvious when I first asked her out during one of our study sessions. But then this leads to another question: if she knew ages ago, then why would she still try to be friends?


Things can change. Maybe she liked you when you first met but things changed for her, maybe she met someone else, could be any number of reasons. Otherwise the story just does not makes sense.

Either that, or you misread the signals.

I think this is most likely the case, that things changed for her. I think maybe I should've made a move on the night we had dinner. I am confident I didn't misread the signals, I have seen her with other guys and she doesn't touch their hands.


That is what a smart girl who understands how weird, clingy and obsessive guys can get would do in this situation, however the thing is that girls are often just as awkward and confused as you are and she probably doesn't think you are creepily obsessing over her like you are... She probably thought you were a good dude and enjoyed your company but never saw you as a potential partner, sexual or otherwise.

Maybe, but I guess this is where guys and girls differ a lot. I reckon maybe only 5% of guys would hang out with a girl on a regular basis one on one without wanting anything more than friendship.


Honestly mate, don't dwell on things. It didn't work out, move on. Life's too short to be worried and self-conscious and trying to decipher what's going on in someone else's (let alone a woman's) mind.

I know, I'm starting to move on, not expecting anything from this. But I do like to think to see where I made mistakes so I can improve.


If you suck up to her now she will never respect you.

I agree, if I make the next contact I will lose face and respect, and that is why I won't.


1. What do you hope to get out from this relationship if you and this girl ends up BF and GF ! Is she potentially some one you can get serious with or even settle down ??

Yeah, she is definitely I can see being serious with, and she is that type of girl. Very homely and nerdy.


Do you just want to bed her and have another notch on the belt or a genuine relationship

Genuine relationship.


I have been in your situation more than 20 years ago and yep she did come back to me

Bro I would be very interested to know more about this. Please tell? Or at least pm me? I mean, how did she come back to you? How long did you have to wait?


You are in a very sticky situation there, but it doesnt mean you have to give up!

Thanks, but what else can I do in my situation other than wait?


Man some of you guys here are fucked...Rage face bro, judging by the sound of things she wouldve been interested in you early on however things went stale quick and she eventually lost interest.
The pen was not too personal, that was fine, but my advice to you is as ahlungor bro said. Ask yourself if you really like this girl. If the answer is yes. Take a step back and give the hoe some space, stop being obsessive. I know its hard but you need to restrain your over excited ass. Give it about a week or 2 then reset and try again but this time dont come across as desperate. Play it casual and cool and get the girl. Just be yourself and be natural.

Never ever get dating advice from a woman. They are fucked in the head and dont know what theyre talking about half the times. Good luck rage face bro

I think you are spot on. Like I said, I def didn't misread the signs, so I think she was interested in the beginning. I still recall the times she was checking me out. It may sound petty but I remember her turning her head, and brushing her hair back as if it was a reason to turn her head and look at her. She did this like 5 times during the lecture.

And I guess maybe things went stale for her when I didn't kiss her on dinner night.

How do you think I should reset and try again? I've already said goodbye to her because I told her I couldn't be friends with someone I like.

And yes, even though the girl who gave me advice was a good friend, talking to her made me realise they have no idea on what it's like to pursue a girl.

[rage_face]

Do you guys think I timed it right to do this now? I mean, if I had not done that, we would just keep going out to lunch again and again. Do some girls like to take it that slow?

[dohdoe]

She was interested. But then lost interest once she got to know you better. It's nothing personal. Time to move on. And when she wasn't interested, seemed like she just wanted to be a friend.

It's sort of like when you date this hot chick only to find out she's a psycho. Although obviously not this extreme.

[Mr. Who]

Ask for advice from your male friends. Never ask for advice from females unless they are good friends of your girl of interest.

[novi]

I had a similar experience once back in uni time with girl.. I tried getting her for about 6 months. We would talk, hanged out, movies and travelled together.. Like you I listened to my dumb friend advise and came straight forward. She was surprised with it but she declined.. We remained friends for a while but just fell distances.. I moved on and forget about her started see other girls and hanged out with other people.. We cross path one day when I was with a female friend and at that point she start contacting me.. I got to say she was hot and smart.. But I told her she had her chance.. By the way I'm was still single then. Time goes on and she we start to talk more and more however I just lost interest in her as I knew her more and more.. I'm not that good looking.. A bit chubby.. Well we still friends now and I'm still single..
End of the day my friend. Like other bros said life to short.. Enjoy yourself and stress less.. Why u have to worry.. When the time comes it comes and you will get a partner who will understands you.. I choose to be single to hanged out with my friends and travel first.. Or screws around..lol

[Midnight_Prowl]

Just like novi bro, similar thing happened to me as well... so it was like 8 yrs ago.
we were both average look but i really like the way she looked. became freiend study budy and used to chat on MSN (old).
studied together, talk about really deep feelings ans secrets. preferred to be friends but i was single and wanted to date a girl. So i asked her out and bang her she did not contact me and ignore me.

Lesson I learned.
1. I really never know wot female want.
2. since than i never make a first move

After this incident, i hooked up with couple of wl and ml coz i never make first move. sometimes it is right to be make a first move sometimes it isn't. I will never know. but im happy to be a friend and never make first move.

Wotever advice you get there isn't right or wrong advice. Just follow your head not your heart. :cool2:

[RoyalFlush]

hey rage, I agree you have to back off for a while with this one. The more pressure you apply on her, the more likely she is to take flight. Just cut all contacts for 2 weeks to increase her interest level again. She will probably initiate contact at some point, trying to fish for your validation, even so, ignore her for a full day at least, then explain to her you've been busy and then schedule another date with her.
Try not to put too much effort when pursuing a girl. Avoid buying girls flowers and gifts during the pursuing stage, (in fact I only buy them after the relationship commence, even so very seldom). Keep some mystery and let the girl guess longer if you like her or not.
Dont force yourself in front of her when she didnt invite you to. Quit calling her and persist in meeting her even when she tell you dont. It's a big no-no. For me, I always sms the girl which is a good enough medium to contact her because it is non invasive and gives her a lot of room to contact you WHEN SHE WANTS TO. As you progress further into the relationship, she will be the one to call you, believe me.
Actually, being a nice guy is detrimental to getting the girl. During the pursuing process, you need to be an asshole, but after the relationship, you become the nice guy. She will be addicted to you.
Another thing is that you shouldnt exhibit too much efforts in front of her. For example, try to reply to her text as long as she reply to you. She should always be the last one to end the conversation. You should be texting as much as her, if not less. You know.. those stuff. She should be putting in some efforts as well so it gives her the thrill to chase you as well, then it's fun for her.

I like IE's advice, always make the girl love you more than you love the girl. I think the reason why IE's wive gave him so many chances is because he has a lot of power in the relationship. You want to become that sort of guy.

[Mozilla]

1. Stalk her.
2. sabotage her current relationship
3. be there to clean up and offer her your rod

do what forest gump did.. he didnt mind the left overs.

[novi]

One for thing I learnt from a friend experience.. Do not go overboard.. Otherwise u might in trouble with the law if she think your crazy. Lol

[Leonard]

Jesus Rage Face this thread made me cringe so hard

So let me get this right, a girl glances at you in a lecture hall and you pop a woody and start imaging a life together. You misinterpret her guestures of friendship and act like a possessive creep. When she rejects your advances you try to emotionally blackmail her into being with you! oh boy

I could give you a 1000 reasons why you fucked up bro but I'm gonna just distill it down to this comment you made:


Maybe, but I guess this is where guys and girls differ a lot. I reckon maybe only 5% of guys would hang out with a girl on a regular basis one on one without wanting anything more than friendship.

This is absolute bullshit. Being able to manage a platonic non-sexual relationship with a member of the opposite sex is a sign of maturity. Stop acting like a needy kid who only sees women as fuck holes and be an adult.

Also, take any advice you receive from this forum with a grain of salt. Never forget what everyone on this site has in common.

[Leonard]

Oh and one more thing.

Ignore blowhards like this guy. Just by the way he talks I can guarantee he has ZERO experience with real women (ie. the ones you dont have to pay for)

ignore all of that bullshit about 'pussy power' and 'game' strategy. Instead just associate with women whose company you enjoy and allow any relationship to develop naturally over time.

With all due respect bro you sound like a very intense sexually frustrated teenager. Girls can smell desperation and its a huge turn off for them


She might be just playing with you to impress her friends or boost her ego.
The mixed signals game is a great way for her to exercise pussy power.
If you suck up to her now she will never respect you.
If you want to play her stupid game you need to let her see you with a girl who is better looking then her.
My advice find another girl who is more genuine.

[CunningLinguist]

monsense from a previously banned member

You have so much credibility, joining today just to say this ...
Won't be long before you are banned again loser.

[cato]

Welcome to the forum Leonard, slangman and whoever else you were yesterday and will be tomorrow...
(how is that for living in a fantasy world...)

"....Girls can smell desperation and it's a huge turn off for them..."

Yes I agree, but how does one define desperation?

How about haunting a hooker forum with dozens of usernames and getting banned regularly but still coming back day after day??

Perhaps that's a different kind of desperation, maybe the kind that actually turns women on...

Who knows... They might be lining up for you in droves...

Free tip: don't talk about fantasy worlds and desperation, you'll only embarrass yourself (if you're capable of being embarrassed at all)

[slangman69]

Welcome to the forum Leonard, slangman and whoever else you were yesterday and will be tomorrow...
(how is that for living in a fantasy world...)

What are you talking about? I have not been on this forum in months, and the only old accounts I used were CliveCliveClive and CliveTheReturn (or something to that effect, I cannot remember). I have been upfront about that and not tried to deceive anybody with fake accounts or any such thing...

In saying that, I completely agreed with the posts Leonard made in this thread and believe he sounds like a right on individual.

[slangman69]

You have so much credibility, joining today just to say this ...
Won't be long before you are banned again loser.

I do not understand why you are being so aggressive with people who are just sharing their opinions and feelings. I think you would maybe benefit from seeing a therapist.

[lockhart]

.....just associate with women whose company you enjoy and allow any relationship to develop naturally over time.....

Sensible advice.

rage_face, tender relationships heartedly and be sincere - true love won't be too far,

[CunningLinguist]

I do not understand why you are being so aggressive with people who are just sharing their opinions and feelings. I think you would maybe benefit from seeing a therapist.

I was not being aggresive at all, just responding to the OP like everyone else then you went out of your away to be aggressive and accused me of living in a fantasy world: http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?43784-How-badly-have-I-screwed-my-chances-with-this-girl&p=530619&viewfull=1#post530619

I never said anything to you before this, so you went out of your way to be a prick.
Anyway I have since learned that you are just a troll so you are on my ignore list now.

Then Leonard who joined today and on his 2nd post went out of his way to be aggressive towards me.
It is obvious he is a previously banned member who thinks he is above us all and has an axe to grind, he is also on my ignore list now.


Also, take any advice you receive from this forum with a grain of salt. Never forget what everyone on this site has in common.

[slangman69]

Mate, you need to stop relying on the ignore list to block out little things you disagree with in life. Sometimes you just gotta look life dead in the eyes and let it cockslide all over you...

[cato]

What are you talking about? I have not been on this forum in months, and the only old accounts I used were CliveCliveClive and CliveTheReturn (or something to that effect, I cannot remember). I have been upfront about that and not tried to deceive anybody with fake accounts or any such thing...

In saying that, I completely agreed with the posts Leonard made in this thread and believe he sounds like a right on individual.

You've not been on this forum for months under which incarnation exactly? And when you say "I cannot remember" I actually believe you...

How could you possibly keep on top of all your several dozen usernames? But you just can't help yourself, especially inter-praising yourself through your different characters. But the dead giveaway is your immediate hostility towards the person who calls you out every time.

But no doubt you'll get banned again and you will appear again and so on it will go... just like a bad cockroach infestation.

[wilisno]

You've not been on this forum for months under which incarnation exactly? And when you say "I cannot remember" I actually believe you...

How could you possibly keep on top of all your several dozen usernames? But you just can't help yourself, especially inter-praising yourself through your different characters. But the dead giveaway is your immediate hostility towards the person who calls you out every time.

But no doubt you'll get banned again and you will appear again and so on it will go... just like a bad cockroach infestation.

Haha ! Bro Cato, I must say you've got it wrong this time, this dude is not the poet troll, he's a fun loving troll that's been pulling people's legs since the old forum, but rather harmless I would say, if you can tolerate him ! :miao:

He was the famous or infamous CliveCliveClive ! :miao: You can look him up in the old forum, he's got quite a few controversial threads ! :miao:

[EatmyhairyassholeBitch]

Didn't take long for this thread to turning into a testosterone fest....

[goulash]

God, you sound like a couple of 16 year olds.

A girl fishing to make sure you're THE ONE is painful.

A man trying to catch a girl but failing to commit is just, well, LAME.

Move on man.

[rage_face]

She was interested. But then lost interest once she got to know you better. It's nothing personal. Time to move on. And when she wasn't interested, seemed like she just wanted to be a friend.

It's sort of like when you date this hot chick only to find out she's a psycho. Although obviously not this extreme.

Thanks, I seem to agree. But I think it was unfair for her to continue seeing me as just friends after she realised she wasn't interested. I would've preferred she cut contact instead of leading me on.

In your analogy, I think most guys would not continue seeing the psycho as a friend.


I had a similar experience once back in uni time with girl.. I tried getting her for about 6 months. We would talk, hanged out, movies and travelled together.. Like you I listened to my dumb friend advise and came straight forward. She was surprised with it but she declined..

That sucks bro. Did you consider them dates when you hung out, went to movies and travelled with her? I wonder how girls can go out like this and not think the guy is interested in them?


Just like novi bro, similar thing happened to me as well... so it was like 8 yrs ago.
we were both average look but i really like the way she looked. became freiend study budy and used to chat on MSN (old).
studied together, talk about really deep feelings ans secrets. preferred to be friends but i was single and wanted to date a girl. So i asked her out and bang her she did not contact me and ignore me.

Lesson I learned.
1. I really never know wot female want.
2. since than i never make a first move

After this incident, i hooked up with couple of wl and ml coz i never make first move. sometimes it is right to be make a first move sometimes it isn't. I will never know. but im happy to be a friend and never make first move.

Wotever advice you get there isn't right or wrong advice. Just follow your head not your heart.

It's hard bro, because in the past I have failed because I didn't make a move. Then sometimes I failed because I made a move too late. Now I fail because I made a move too early. It seems like people give me advice to do something but everytime it fails I am the only one responsible for it.

I wonder, if a girl likes you, is there such a thing as too early/too late?


hey rage, I agree you have to back off for a while with this one. The more pressure you apply on her, the more likely she is to take flight. Just cut all contacts for 2 weeks to increase her interest level again. She will probably initiate contact at some point, trying to fish for your validation, even so, ignore her for a full day at least, then explain to her you've been busy and then schedule another date with her.
Try not to put too much effort when pursuing a girl. Avoid buying girls flowers and gifts during the pursuing stage, (in fact I only buy them after the relationship commence, even so very seldom). Keep some mystery and let the girl guess longer if you like her or not.
Dont force yourself in front of her when she didnt invite you to. Quit calling her and persist in meeting her even when she tell you dont. It's a big no-no. For me, I always sms the girl which is a good enough medium to contact her because it is non invasive and gives her a lot of room to contact you WHEN SHE WANTS TO. As you progress further into the relationship, she will be the one to call you, believe me.
Actually, being a nice guy is detrimental to getting the girl. During the pursuing process, you need to be an asshole, but after the relationship, you become the nice guy. She will be addicted to you.
Another thing is that you shouldnt exhibit too much efforts in front of her. For example, try to reply to her text as long as she reply to you. She should always be the last one to end the conversation. You should be texting as much as her, if not less. You know.. those stuff. She should be putting in some efforts as well so it gives her the thrill to chase you as well, then it's fun for her.

I like IE's advice, always make the girl love you more than you love the girl. I think the reason why IE's wive gave him so many chances is because he has a lot of power in the relationship. You want to become that sort of guy.

Thanks RoyalFlush. I agree I have to wait at least 1-2 weeks. She might contact me, but I doubt it. Either way, I cannot contact her and my only option is to do nothing.


Jesus Rage Face this thread made me cringe so hard

So let me get this right, a girl glances at you in a lecture hall and you pop a woody and start imaging a life together. You misinterpret her guestures of friendship and act like a possessive creep. When she rejects your advances you try to emotionally blackmail her into being with you! oh boy

Hey, you seem to have seriously compressed my story in your favour just to make a point. There were many other things as well. I took her out to dinner and lunch and paid for all of them. Friends don't do that, friends always split the bill or take turns paying. But if you are going to take an aggressive and unreasonable point of view, there's no point convincing you. Most girls who are interested in a girl will act nice to show her interest. Friendly girls who are not interested will also act nice. It shouldn't be a surprise then that guys can't differentiate between the two.

[slangman69]

Haha ! Bro Cato, I must say you've got it wrong this time, this dude is not the poet troll, he's a fun loving troll that's been pulling people's legs since the old forum, but rather harmless I would say, if you can tolerate him ! :miao:

He was the famous or infamous CliveCliveClive ! :miao: You can look him up in the old forum, he's got quite a few controversial threads ! :miao:

Cato just got bitch slapped.

I think he needs to offer me an apology? Maybe in the form of a cockslide?

[Business Class]

Cato just got bitch slapped.

I think he needs to offer me an apology? Maybe in the form of a cockslide?

Who is going to give who the cockslide?

You and cato might want to clarify that beforehand.

[slangman69]

Who is going to give who the cockslide?

You and cato might want to clarify that beforehand.

Well, considering he is the one apologising, he should be doing the sliding... but I am easy going and am willing so slide my bropussy over his dong if that is what he prefers...

[cato]

Haha ! Bro Cato, I must say you've got it wrong this time, this dude is not the poet troll, he's a fun loving troll that's been pulling people's legs since the old forum, but rather harmless I would say, if you can tolerate him ! :miao:

He was the famous or infamous CliveCliveClive ! :miao: You can look him up in the old forum, he's got quite a few controversial threads ! :miao:

Hi brother wil,

I will always take heed of your opinion, but I'm not so sure if I'm that far off the mark??

If I am, then it will be due to some very remarkable coincidences...

His previous usernames for example... Look at the capitalisation in CliveCliveClive and also in CliveTheReturn... Also the choice of name as in CliveTheReturn is also peculiar and familiar.

He tells CL to see a therapist (there's one person who has often thrown that remark) right after showing immediate and unprovoked hostility towards CL (also consistent)

Just pure coincidence?

And where has he been all this time since the old forum?? Ok, on a break perhaps. Yet, given the track record of dozens of usernames and multiple personalities, why isn't it possible that he maintained several concurrent identities on the old forum as well?

[Leonard]

Are Cunning Linguist and Cato controlled by the same person? I assumed that was the case.

From now on I shall refer to that person as "Cunto"

[cato]

Well, considering he is the one apologising, he should be doing the sliding... but I am easy going and am willing so slide my bropussy over his dong if that is what he prefers...

I don't recall offering you an apology and don't hold your breath waiting for one. If you're still keen on a cockslide perhaps Business Class is your man as he also seems quite keen on the idea. You two should get together if you haven't already.

[cato]

Are Cunning Linguist and Cato controlled by the same person? I assumed that was the case.

From now on I shall refer to that person as "Cunto"

That's very clever Leonard... almost poetic!

[Business Class]

I don't recall offering you an apology and don't hold your breath waiting for one. If you're still keen on a cockslide perhaps Business Class is your man as he also seems quite keen on the idea. You two should get together if you haven't already.

No need to get me involved. I'm just an innocent bystander trying to point out that you two should be sorting out the finer details to avoid disappointment later.

Who is to be the cockslider, and cockslidee. Very important detail I think.

[slangman69]

Hi brother wil,

I will always take heed of your opinion, but I'm not so sure if I'm that far off the mark??

If I am, then it will be due to some very remarkable coincidences...

His previous usernames for example... Look at the capitalisation in CliveCliveClive and also in CliveTheReturn... Also the choice of name as in CliveTheReturn is also peculiar and familiar.

He tells CL to see a therapist (there's one person who has often thrown that remark) right after showing immediate and unprovoked hostility towards CL (also consistent)

Just pure coincidence?

And where has he been all this time since the old forum?? Ok, on a break perhaps. Yet, given the track record of dozens of usernames and multiple personalities, why isn't it possible that he maintained several concurrent identities on the old forum as well?

I don't mean to offend, but you are seriously coming off as a paranoid lunatic.

I made the name "CliveTheReturn" because I couldn't use "CliveCliveClive" anymore due to the forum change over and it was the first thing that came to my head. There is no grand conspiracy you crazy, crazy person.

I only directed comments to that CunningLinguist (omg, look at how he capitalises his name, coincidence?) bloke as he was coming off as extremely misogynistic with the things he was saying, and the fact that he was saying those things in a thread where somebody was asking for advice was a fucked up thing. And then came his paranoid accusations that I am apparently somebody else... I believe my request for him to see a therapist was reasonable as I am genuinely frightened for him if he truly believes that everybody who disagrees with his creepy, misogynistic ways is actually the same single person.

If others have also recommended him to seek help, perhaps the problem is not the existence of a grand conspiracy of somebody on the internet out to get him with multiple accounts, but just more the fact that he's a misogynist creep and people are put off by that.

I'm sure others like AHLungor, brother Lee King, Royal Flush, The Tiger can vouch for me as Wil has?

[slangman69]

No need to get me involved. I'm just an innocent bystander trying to point out that you two should be sorting out the finer details to avoid disappointment later.

Who is to be the cockslider, and cockslidee. Very important detail I think.

Yeah, it is an important detail that did need to be worked out beforehand, just to avoid disappointment (or a bad after review, AHAHAHAHAHA).

[slangman69]

Is this conspiracy stuff all new to this thread or is it an ongoing thing that has been discussed elsewhere on the forum? I would love to give it a read (with the X-Files theme playing on repeat in the background).

[Business Class]

Yeah, it is an important detail that did need to be worked out beforehand, just to avoid disappointment (or a bad after review, AHAHAHAHAHA).

You do not want to post a bad review here. You will be discredited and definitely cast as a troll.

[cato]

I don't mean to offend, but you are seriously coming off as a paranoid lunatic.

I made the name "CliveTheReturn" because I couldn't use "CliveCliveClive" anymore due to the forum change over and it was the first thing that came to my head. There is no grand conspiracy you crazy, crazy person.

I only directed comments to that CunningLinguist (omg, look at how he capitalises his name, coincidence?) bloke as he was coming off as extremely misogynistic with the things he was saying, and the fact that he was saying those things in a thread where somebody was asking for advice was a fucked up thing. And then came his paranoid accusations that I am apparently somebody else... I believe my request for him to see a therapist was reasonable as I am genuinely frightened for him if he truly believes that everybody who disagrees with his creepy, misogynistic ways is actually the same single person.

If others have also recommended him to seek help, perhaps the problem is not the existence of a grand conspiracy of somebody on the internet out to get him with multiple accounts, but just more the fact that he's a misogynist creep and people are put off by that.

I'm sure others like AHLungor, brother Lee King, Royal Flush, The Tiger can vouch for me as Wil has?

And what exactly will they vouch for?? That you're a troll, albeit a different troll??

Well hopefully they will set the record straight and then you can rest easy. Because no self respecting troll would like someone else to get the credit for their hard work.

[cato]

No need to get me involved. I'm just an innocent bystander trying to point out that you two should be sorting out the finer details to avoid disappointment later.

Who is to be the cockslider, and cockslidee. Very important detail I think.


For a bystander who wants no involvement you seem quite mesmerised with the whole idea, look at how your curiosity is even making you ponder 'cocksliders and cockslidees'

I'm sure if you ask the slangman nicely he'll accommodate your curiosities.

[slangman69]

I am willing to accommodate anybodies curiosities.

[RoyalFlush]

Hi Clive,

On how to migrate your old account into the new forum, read this

http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?12-Update-your-password-from-the-old-forum

If you forgot your password, you can email admin for help. Look forward to seeing the name Clive again around town.
Unfortunately The Tiger account has been banned. I miss that dude, wonder what he has re spawned into?

[AHLUNGOR]

Why not register again under:

CliveCliveCliveClive

Or

3Clive ? 4Clive ?

[dohdoe]

It's hard bro, because in the past I have failed because I didn't make a move. Then sometimes I failed because I made a move too late. Now I fail because I made a move too early. It seems like people give me advice to do something but everytime it fails I am the only one responsible for it.

I wonder, if a girl likes you, is there such a thing as too early/too late?

As far as I'm aware, if a girl is truly interested in you, there's never a too early or late situation. She will chase you to get you.

In every single relationship I've been in, I've known within a month. If unsure, then err on the side of not interested.

[random_p]

I know I'm generalising a bit here:

the thing with women is, their feelings for someone come and go a lot faster than it is for men, i.e. they may initially be attracted, but if the guy does not do the right things to stoke the flames then those feelings eventually die out.

You can see this at bars and clubs: as guys are generally attracted to someone based on looks, the girls they have the hots for will not change from the beginning of the night, to the end (Beer Goggles notwithstanding), whereas for girls, who are more-so attracted to a guy based on what's on the inside (a darn good thing given most men don't look like Ricky Martin), they will gain and lose attraction for different guys throughout the night, depending on how she sees them through e.g. their mannerisms and body language.

essentially, just because a girl may have been interested in the beginning, unless you fan those flames and keep it burning, her interest will fade over time.

And I agree with those who suggest you take a break from her, hard as it may sound..

[harmony]

Fair point

[harmony]

Duplicate post deleted

[RoyalFlush]

if a girl is truly interested in you, she will chase you to get you.

I dont 100% agree with this statement.
Not under all "she is interested" cases, "will she start to chase you" holds true. Girls start to truly chase guys under a few special circumstances.
1) The guy is a bad boy type - she wants to tame him.
2) Humans always want something that they cant get.
- A guy who ditch her for a better girl
- A love triangle situation where she is the jilted girl
3) She is coming of marriageable age, this guy may be her last hope of getting married
4) She is not attractive, not many suitors
5) The guy is resourceful and has many options

There are so many girls who never need to chase guys in their lifetime. There are plenty of girls who settle for their second best option, a "good enough" guy for their life-long companion amongst many other reasons.

But it is certainly possible to turn a neutral girl into a girl who starts chasing you because she is addicted to you. You just need to press the correct buttons. Unless you are already her type and she likes you at the onset.

2 cents opinion as usual.

[rage_face]

As far as I'm aware, if a girl is truly interested in you, there's never a too early or late situation. She will chase you to get you.

I agree to some degree. But to take it to an extreme, let's say I meet a girl in a group and she likes what she sees. Then I suddenly get down on one knee and blurt out "will you be my girlfriend?"

Extreme, but illustrates my point that there are varying degrees.


In every single relationship I've been in, I've known within a month. If unsure, then err on the side of not interested.

Maybe, but see random's post where things can change for a girl.


essentially, just because a girl may have been interested in the beginning, unless you fan those flames and keep it burning, her interest will fade over time.

I agree that this may have happened in my case. However, I would like to think that if the roles were reversed, and I realised that I no longer was interested in the girl, I would cut off contact and not give her false hope. In my case the girl kept coming out with me which gave me false hope.

[random_p]

I agree that this may have happened in my case. However, I would like to think that if the roles were reversed, and I realised that I no longer was interested in the girl, I would cut off contact and not give her false hope. In my case the girl kept coming out with me which gave me false hope.

well, that's the thing, in my opinion it is precisely because this girl's feeling can change over time that, unlike those of us who think in black & white terms ("Yes, I'm interested so I'll keep pursuing", or "No, I'm not interested so I'll stop all contact with her"), she may have stayed in the picture in order to see what else she liked about you.

Harmony: yes, having money and a direction in life helps, but just as that is no guarantee being rich and/or successful would mean your wife will never divorce you, it goes to show that relationships are "alive", and require constant work to keep healthy. Besides, I'm sure we all know girls who would actually be turned off by someone in a showy car!

[GoldfishMan]

Bro rage_face, I reckon you probably had a very good chance with this girl at some point, but you didn't go for it simply because you were not really into her in the first place. The fact that you can say she's only OK looking in your OP shows that. Since you were not actively trying to get her, you didn't put in the extra effort to impress her during that time when she was interested in you. Only one hand was trying to clap at that time, you see what I'm saying bro?
So she decided to moved on from you as a bf candidate and try another guy. In other words, bro, you were "friend zoned" before you knew it.
What you are feeling now is just doubt. You're doubting your subconscious decision not to go for this girl because you are feeling lonely or horny or that you "missed out". In fact, your subconscious mind is still pulling the strings: if you really had the hots for her, why would you need advice from your friend before taking decisive action?
So my opinion is, it's not really a loss for you because you didn't really want her anyway, and that is probably still the case. You just don't know it.

[EatmyhairyassholeBitch]

I think you should send her my way. That will make sure she works out what she is missing with you and she will come running back!!! :grimace:

[rage_face]

well, that's the thing, in my opinion it is precisely because this girl's feeling can change over time that, unlike those of us who think in black & white terms ("Yes, I'm interested so I'll keep pursuing", or "No, I'm not interested so I'll stop all contact with her"), she may have stayed in the picture in order to see what else she liked about you.

If that's right, then looks like I screwed it up with the pen. Who would've thought a fucking pen...


Bro rage_face, I reckon you probably had a very good chance with this girl at some point, but you didn't go for it simply because you were not really into her in the first place. The fact that you can say she's only OK looking in your OP shows that. Since you were not actively trying to get her, you didn't put in the extra effort to impress her during that time when she was interested in you. Only one hand was trying to clap at that time, you see what I'm saying bro?
So she decided to moved on from you as a bf candidate and try another guy. In other words, bro, you were "friend zoned" before you knew it.
What you are feeling now is just doubt. You're doubting your subconscious decision not to go for this girl because you are feeling lonely or horny or that you "missed out". In fact, your subconscious mind is still pulling the strings: if you really had the hots for her, why would you need advice from your friend before taking decisive action?
So my opinion is, it's not really a loss for you because you didn't really want her anyway, and that is probably still the case. You just don't know it.

Bro, even though at first I didn't think much of her appearance, as time went along I started falling for her. I was putting in the effort, bu trying to stay cool at the same time. I think I may have gone from one extreme to another...

[broownwallaby]

No need to answer those redundant 7 questions.

She is not that into you. She appreciate your friendship. that's all. move on and you know what, there are tons of single girls out there =)

[IExperiment]

Stop dwelling in the past Rage if she did not contact you back with in two weeks than its time to moe on.

[Bose0412]

Without a doubt she is in a relationship but just wants a little attention from you...
win her heart or walk away

[jediknight4ever]

Man you sound just like my friend, he was studying with this chick and having lunches and sh*t.
She bought him champagne for his bday too, although she didn't come to his bday.
He'd known her for a few months already and all I said to him was:

Ya gotta get off your arse and make a move cause friend zones are not a myth.

Also she might be just the bubbly and friendly type and you're reading too much into it ;)

[Good_guy_Greg]

Man you sound just like my friend, he was studying with this chick and having lunches and sh*t.
She bought him champagne for his bday too, although she didn't come to his bday.
He'd known her for a few months already and all I said to him was:

Ya gotta get off your arse and make a move cause friend zones are not a myth.

Also she might be just the bubbly and friendly type and you're reading too much into it ;)

lol at members who join in March 2012 and make their first post more than 2 years later

you must be a regular using a secret account

[AHLUNGOR]

lol at members who join in March 2012 and make their first post more than 2 years later

you must be a regular using a secret account

Those are called foundation members mate !

Some of them never posted in the forum but rather active with PMs though !!

Cheers

[TMC (free cage girl)]

If i have her number. i will call her whenever i want to talk with her. If she saw my missed call record and not call back to me. i will delete the number.

I like rage guy. He has good heart to thinking about girl. also the girl has good heat too. If she look just ok and nothing talent, what you expect with her? maybe i understand!

If she looks 100% hot and personality is shit. i might want to try to get her!:cool2:

If she ugly and she has good heart. I will stay as friend or juts say hello to the girl( like a kiosk lady or MX lady)

If she has ok face and ok personality. better not touch the girl! you can ask her to introduce her friend:cool2:

from next time. you should get mobile and facebook same time! you will know more about her.It's easy to understand what style of the person's and what she interest in ......

[password thief]

You build up your own expectations before you even ask her out. Stop the obsessive behavior because most girls find that creepy

[password thief]

1. How bad have I fucked up and what are the chances that I could recover from this?

zero chance. She may have felt something for you once but she sure doesn't anymore. It sounds like she isn't as fond of you as a friend anymore either (because of your pressure and ultimatums probably)

2. If I want to recover, should I wait for her to contact me, or should I wait a long time before contacting her?

Please do not contact her anymore.

3. Does anyone think she would initiate contact, or am I as good as dead?

I doubt she will ever contact you again but she sounds like a really nice person so if she accidently crossed paths with you at some point in the future im sure she would be friendly and not hold a grudge

4. Do you think an engraved pen is too personal?

yes that was a silly and inappropriate gift

5. Do you think it never occurred to her that I liked her before the pen? For me, if a guy asks a girl out, picks her up, pays for the meal, drives her home, that's a pretty good indication that he likes her. Especially if this keeps happening.

yes I think she probably suspected. Asking a friend to social events and offering them lifts is something friends do for other friends. But she probably knew you had ulterior motives when you insisted on always paying for her meals.

6. Does it sound like she liked me at any point in time? Or was it just friends all along?

Impossible to say really. It sounds like she liked you a lot as a friend at one point. Most girls like to be friends before they even consider a relationship. You kept pushing her for a relationship without letting nature take its course and so now you have neither

7. Did I do the right thing by not even wanting to be friends? I honestly couldn't see how we could maintain being friends after telling her I liked her.

no.

Also, would like to hear people's similar experiences about recovering from situations like these.

there is no recovery from this. She sounds like a lovely girl. she offered you her friendship and you spurned it. Please leave her alone now.

[mongolian]

Just visit Ginza and be done with it.