Steven Seagal
20-04-2012, 05:32 AM
Western Suburbs Massage Centre
1/115 Best Rd
Seven Hills
Phone: 9621 5599 or 0432 112 208
Howdy Folks,
This is a review of Apple.
I am sure you’ve all heard the term ‘She’ll be apples mate”. Well, she wasn’t!
But I am getting ahead of myself.
Today was yet another adventure with my nephew Efrem Zimbalist Farquar. You remember Farquar. He’s the guy who will have a punt on the way to a punt.
Farquar also has what I call ‘idiot’s luck’. He could fall into a vat of horseshit and come out of it not only smelling like a rose, but have a 22 carat diamond in his hand. Me? I could buy a $20,000 Rolex watch and when I opened the box when I got home would find a turd in it and would discover, when I returned to the jeweler ,that they had gone into liquidation. ‘Such is life” exclaimed Ned Kelly, but what does he know? He wound up getting hung to the rafters.
We arrived at the above mentioned address and were met by mine host Linda. As is typical of receptionists she was a very pretty, youngish milf that I would have banged live on the 6 o’clock news and later on Four Corners.
Farquar got first choice and his choice was a lovely lady in mid 20’s with a rather sheer, blue dress that had extras written all over it. 10 minutes later I got Apple.
The place has been going for a couple of months and was clean, recently painted and rooms reasonably large. The room I had was the typical austere massage parlour room with the with obligatory 2 watt light globe and a chair for me to deposit my goods and chattels on.
Apple looked about mid 20’s, plain face, medium hair, wearing a gray top, blue hot pants. Don’t ask me about breast size, pussy hair or anything like that as I didn’t get to that point.
She began the session by calling me ‘Darling’, which was promising, but once the massage started claimed to speak no English.
The massage was not bad, but totally clinical. Good points were she seemed to know what she was doing and massaged back, arms, legs, hands and feet. She also did a good, but non-sexual butt massage.
Any attempt at conversation was met with ‘No English’.
At turn over time some English miraculously inserted itself into her vocabulary. She suddenly knew numbers and behaviours like’ handjob’ and ‘clothes off’.
I agreed to $20 for hj and folks it was the worst I have ever encountered. I would not say her technique was poor as there was no technique at all involved. I got myself over the line and should have paid myself the $20 for all the effort she put in.
I’d had enough and finished early and waited for Farquar.
After he came into reception the following conversation ensued:
Farquar: (smiling) I had a great time. How was yours?
Steven: Shut up
Farquar: That good huh?
Farquar probably got her phone number and they will travel through life together.
As for me, the Apple wasn’t rotten, but wasn’t top of the barrel either.
Till our paths cross again.
Steven.
1/115 Best Rd
Seven Hills
Phone: 9621 5599 or 0432 112 208
Howdy Folks,
This is a review of Apple.
I am sure you’ve all heard the term ‘She’ll be apples mate”. Well, she wasn’t!
But I am getting ahead of myself.
Today was yet another adventure with my nephew Efrem Zimbalist Farquar. You remember Farquar. He’s the guy who will have a punt on the way to a punt.
Farquar also has what I call ‘idiot’s luck’. He could fall into a vat of horseshit and come out of it not only smelling like a rose, but have a 22 carat diamond in his hand. Me? I could buy a $20,000 Rolex watch and when I opened the box when I got home would find a turd in it and would discover, when I returned to the jeweler ,that they had gone into liquidation. ‘Such is life” exclaimed Ned Kelly, but what does he know? He wound up getting hung to the rafters.
We arrived at the above mentioned address and were met by mine host Linda. As is typical of receptionists she was a very pretty, youngish milf that I would have banged live on the 6 o’clock news and later on Four Corners.
Farquar got first choice and his choice was a lovely lady in mid 20’s with a rather sheer, blue dress that had extras written all over it. 10 minutes later I got Apple.
The place has been going for a couple of months and was clean, recently painted and rooms reasonably large. The room I had was the typical austere massage parlour room with the with obligatory 2 watt light globe and a chair for me to deposit my goods and chattels on.
Apple looked about mid 20’s, plain face, medium hair, wearing a gray top, blue hot pants. Don’t ask me about breast size, pussy hair or anything like that as I didn’t get to that point.
She began the session by calling me ‘Darling’, which was promising, but once the massage started claimed to speak no English.
The massage was not bad, but totally clinical. Good points were she seemed to know what she was doing and massaged back, arms, legs, hands and feet. She also did a good, but non-sexual butt massage.
Any attempt at conversation was met with ‘No English’.
At turn over time some English miraculously inserted itself into her vocabulary. She suddenly knew numbers and behaviours like’ handjob’ and ‘clothes off’.
I agreed to $20 for hj and folks it was the worst I have ever encountered. I would not say her technique was poor as there was no technique at all involved. I got myself over the line and should have paid myself the $20 for all the effort she put in.
I’d had enough and finished early and waited for Farquar.
After he came into reception the following conversation ensued:
Farquar: (smiling) I had a great time. How was yours?
Steven: Shut up
Farquar: That good huh?
Farquar probably got her phone number and they will travel through life together.
As for me, the Apple wasn’t rotten, but wasn’t top of the barrel either.
Till our paths cross again.
Steven.