Marriage problems

[Nejums]

Do brothers here use these services (whether it be massages or full service) as a means of not dealing with issues they may be having with their marriages?

If yes, why not deal with your issues rather than avoid them? If not, why do you punt?

[Soccerfan]

Hi Nejums,

I have been separated from my wife for two years. We are recently divorced. I work in Sydney, but live around 2 hrs away. We have two great kids. Before we separated, I had heard about punting (from a married colleague) but never tried it, but after the separation, I had no moral dilemmas to contend with so I gave it a go.

It suits my lifestyle. Because of my work (exclusively male workplace) I don't get the chance to meet many girls and the Aussie lady's my age are all overweight and over opinionated, and I can't deal with that - they are just bitter, over privileged ex-princesses who not fun or interesting to spend time with. At first I was surprised at how "normal" ML's are and I soon realised that it is just a job for them. When I go home, this lets me concentrate on showing my kids a good time because I don't spend time with online dating looking for a partner, etc.

The kids are relatively unscathed because I have always worked away from home so they have always been used to 10 day spells without me. The only difference now is that they have a happier Dad to spend time with now that I don't have to deal with their dragon of a mother!

I am happy to go through the marriage problems but there was not one aspect of the relationship that indicated it was worth saving.

I think I saw in a previous post of yours that you spent money on your family and that it felt good and that you might stop punting, that's a sign that there is still something worth fighting for, give it a go.

Good luck.

[kingwally]

Hi Nejums,

I have been separated from my wife for two years. We are recently divorced. I work in Sydney, but live around 2 hrs away. We have two great kids. Before we separated, I had heard about punting (from a married colleague) but never tried it, but after the separation, I had no moral dilemmas to contend with so I gave it a go.

It suits my lifestyle. Because of my work (exclusively male workplace) I don't get the chance to meet many girls and the Aussie lady's my age are all overweight and over opinionated, and I can't deal with that - they are just bitter, over privileged ex-princesses who not fun or interesting to spend time with. At first I was surprised at how "normal" ML's are and I soon realised that it is just a job for them. When I go home, this lets me concentrate on showing my kids a good time because I don't spend time with online dating looking for a partner, etc.

The kids are relatively unscathed because I have always worked away from home so they have always been used to 10 day spells without me. The only difference now is that they have a happier Dad to spend time with now that I don't have to deal with their dragon of a mother!

I am happy to go through the marriage problems but there was not one aspect of the relationship that indicated it was worth saving.

I think I saw in a previous post of yours that you spent money on your family and that it felt good and that you might stop punting, that's a sign that there is still something worth fighting for, give it a go.

Good luck.That is a great post mate. My marriage problems years ago was not sexual related, it was just dealing with a fucking dragon of a wife every day. It is just a male thing that us healthy males need sexual satisfaction from different girls, and not have to put up with the emotional bullshit that comes with having a wife.

[Speedy12345]

This is really a good post
Merry christmas

[Punterman]

Do brothers here use these services (whether it be massages or full service) as a means of not dealing with issues they may be having with their marriages?

If yes, why not deal with your issues rather than avoid them? If not, why do you punt?

I have a good marriage and a healthy punting life so a nice combination.

I mentioned in another post that I have been married for 20 years, I also have kids but the wife is not really a very sexual person. She enjoys sex but is not really that bothered whether she has it or not. She is an amazing wife and mother though.

For me punting is just a sport ie hunt down nice girls and have sex with them, like cavemen hunting, it is in our DNA.

[kingwally]

I have a good marriage and a healthy punting life so a nice combination.

I mentioned in another post that I have been married for 20 years, I also have kids but the wife is not really and sexual person. She enjoys sex but is not really that bothered whether she has it or not.

For me punting is just a sport ie hunt down nice girls and have sex with them, like cavemen hunting, it is in our DNA.

ANother great post !

[Babycat]

Marriage is so different from dating and hard to deal with. Also, sometimes it's hard to point out who makes mistakes or takes responsibility for a marriage failure. People outside hardly understand the circumstances of others but easily judge or criticise those couples who have problems with their relationships. I believe communication broken is one of the main reason for marriage failure as well as characters differences. Also sometimes they try to walk fast then lose each other and forget the ultimate goal. Not all about sexual satisfaction. A third person sometimes is just a final stuff to bury the marriage. One case I know is the wife was from a poor family so she's an ambitious and independent person who always wanted to change her life but the husband was from an upper class and pampered. Apparently they had different goals and could not find same voice. Then a big house could not be a good home. Their children used to blame their mother of unhappy family but when they are mature enough, they can somehow empathy for her. It's not all her faults. It was such a long time that they kept all the anger to their mom before they could understand the reason why she was unfaithful. Wife's jobs are not easy but including a million tasks. It was worse that she had to take the husband's role as well when the husband thought that earning money is enough for family contributions. "Up to you. Whatever you want" were what he often said when they had to make decisions that made her be more independent but lose her respect to him. Couldn't share job/ workplace issues... When a wife has to take husband role, she might not need a husband anymore.
I used to hate unfaithfulness a lot but now in some scenarios it's acceptable. However, I still prefer ending one relationship first before going for a new one than mixing up. That's really toxic.

[Soccerfan]

Marriage is so different from dating and hard to deal with. Also, sometimes it's hard to point out who makes mistakes or takes responsibility for a marriage failure. People outside hardly understand the circumstances of others but easily judge or criticise those couples who have problems with their relationships. I believe communication broken is one of the main reason for marriage failure as well as characters differences. Also sometimes they try to walk fast then lose each other and forget the ultimate goal. Not all about sexual satisfaction. A third person sometimes is just a final stuff to bury the marriage. One case I know is the wife was from a poor family so she's an ambitious and independent person who always wanted to change her life but the husband was from an upper class and pampered. Apparently they had different goals and could not find same voice. Then a big house could not be a good home. Their children used to blame their mother of unhappy family but when they are mature enough, they can somehow empathy for her. It's not all her faults. It was such a long time that they kept all the anger to their mom before they could understand the reason why she was unfaithful. Wife's jobs are not easy but including a million tasks. It was worse that she had to take the husband's role as well when the husband thought that earning money is enough for family contributions. "Up to you. Whatever you want" were what he often said when they had to make decisions that made her be more independent but lose her respect to him. Couldn't share job/ workplace issues... When a wife has to take husband role, she might not need a husband anymore.
I used to hate unfaithfulness a lot but now in some scenarios it's acceptable. However, I still prefer ending one relationship first before going for a new one than mixing up. That's really toxic.

100% BC. I'm sure my ex would provide a different side of the story!!

[Wayne]

I reckon punting can be an act of faith towards one spouse. Just say the partner is asexual - simply not interested in sex. This could be from a wide variety of reasons. She might have been sexually abused as a child (far more common in extended families than acknowledged) or she might simply not be interested and it becomes a taboo subject. It is never mentioned. And there are no children. But, the two are great friends and love each other. What does the other partner do? He can leave her, find an alternative. But there is a powerful bond and a sense of loyalty to his wife. So he develops a secret life of accessing punting forums and visiting brothels. He rationalises this as fulfilling a sexual urge; suppressing the knowledge that there is no line between emotional and physical need.

[Babycat]

I have a good marriage and a healthy punting life so a nice combination.

I mentioned in another post that I have been married for 20 years, I also have kids but the wife is not really a very sexual person. She enjoys sex but is not really that bothered whether she has it or not. She is an amazing wife and mother though.

For me punting is just a sport ie hunt down nice girls and have sex with them, like cavemen hunting, it is in our DNA.


Another case: that guy divorced twice. Both failed because of communication lacking. His first wife always wasn't happy with what they'd had even he had a good job, high position and high salary. Still not enough for her and she kept comparing their lives with others. Not happy when husband supported his family. Sex life was bit boring as she was a starfish on bed. But they didn't discuss their problems till too late. He tried to fix it with the second one but the second wife is lazy and irresponsible. She got drugs addicted and mental illness. Refused to talk but blame him for everything. Messy house all the time. He struggled with it in nearly 9 years before decided to divorce. Still support her now but just stay together anymore.
Marriage problems are much more complicated than what I thought before. It's a grey part, not just black or white. I really don't know what I would do if my husband cheats on me. Might be unable to forgive and go on but what happens if it were my fault? I don't have real experiences of dealing with it, but one thing I want to say is please appreciate what you have and whom you are with now as one day you'll never know that they might leave you forever without saying goodbye.

[Soccerfan]

Without strong fundamentals (good friends, good communication), many couples will just drift apart after kids, sex will disappear, and WLs start to fill the gap.[/QUOTE]

My ex always said that the only thing she wanted to be was a Mum (not so much a wife), I didn't take her literally.

[puntercouple]

My partner is bisexual so we sometimes have threesome with WL when we have extra cash lying around. I don't post my threesome adventures here since it involves my partner as well.

+1 Wayne's post.

Also fun fact: Divorce rates have gone down by around 10% since the legalisation of brothels.

[Bawal]

My very close and best friend could not penetrate his wife's vagina.

I couldn't understand why. But after listening to both side of the stories, I come to a conclusion that the wife's mental is just not ready.
I know the hubby was frustrated and decided to try punting. He said he could put into WL's holes with 100% success rate and still don't understand why he couldn't do it with his wife.

They both visited GP and after checkups, no problem. The only issue was when the GP try to put a "medical device" into wife's hole, she's too scared and pulled back. So it's not to do with the hole but difficult mentality.
I suggest for them to try Sexual Psychologist and hope to resolve the problem. But then, is the psychologist going to teach them how to put it in?
Difficult problem I know.

[wilisno]

My very close and best friend could not penetrate his wife's vagina.

I couldn't understand why. But after listening to both side of the stories, I come to a conclusion that the wife's mental is just not ready.
I know the hubby was frustrated and decided to try punting. He said he could put into WL's holes with 100% success rate and still don't understand why he couldn't do it with his wife.

They both visited GP and after checkups, no problem. The only issue was when the GP try to put a "medical device" into wife's hole, she's too scared and pulled back. So it's not to do with the hole but difficult mentality.
I suggest for them to try Sexual Psychologist and hope to resolve the problem. But then, is the psychologist going to teach them how to put it in?
Difficult problem I know.
Offer your help to test drive to see if it's his problem or her problem !;) ;) ;)

[tpol]

That's why u should try before you buy

[wilisno]

That's why u should try before you buy

That still doesn't guarantee a good acquisition ! ;) ;) ;)

[Littlewonder]

An interesting topic!

I think punting can keep you in a relationship and sometimes thats good for all concerned.

Years ago I read an article that basically said when you get older you should set a time to get together with your wife and have sex, make love etc on a regular basis and having a set time gave you both something to look forward to.

Well I approached my wife with this concept.

I did not get the responses I expected or was looking for I was devastated at the time.

Basically she told me to go get sex else where just don't let her friend or the kids find out and don't leave her.

I still don't understand women but once i got over the rejection I started seeing working ladies but it wasn't until I started seeing Asian Ladies that I really got to enjoy my time with lots of beautiful ladies.

I still think that making love with the woman you love is the best thing ever however if thats not possible you can have a great time with some sexy young ladies just make sure you don't get too serious or fall in love.

And lets face it the sex can be and usually is particularly with Asian Ladies.

Happy Punting

[James_jones]

Guys do not approach marriage in the right way. Gen X onwards in worse ways approach women and relationships in a manner that ends in tears - easy to see in divorce statistics.

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/

Books - These are not redpill specific and in many ways are not redpill at all, however they do receive good recommendations and have ideas that put things on the right path unless you are hitched to a total bitch.
https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339/
https://www.amazon.com/Married-Man-Life-Primer-2011/dp/1460981731/
https://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel-Guilty/dp/0553263900/

[tpol]

That still doesn't guarantee a good acquisition ! ;) ;) ;)

but at least he would know if he could get it in or not!! :startle:

[Bawal]

Offer your help to test drive to see if it's his problem or her problem !;) ;) ;)

It's definitely HER problem as my friend has punted many times and it has been working :)

I mean unless the guy can't get it up hard, then it's the guy's issue. Otherwise, majority of the time it's the girl's!
I don't know what to tell him but to leave and find other girl who is willing and capable. But it's good that he's trying to resolve it as much as he could.

[Raybo]

Only marriage problems I would have is if I get caught.

[beta101]

Do brothers here use these services (whether it be massages or full service) as a means of not dealing with issues they may be having with their marriages?

If yes, why not deal with your issues rather than avoid them? If not, why do you punt?

i don't know the answer. that is why i punt. sad but true lol

my pet theory is true love conquer all but how many of us are lucky enough with that? so we end up chasing the flesh pleasure. man i don't even want to think about what my wife do for the female equivalent ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Nekman]

Only marriage problems I would have is if I get caught.

Very true. This would apply to a lot of us brothers here I would imagine. I punt to relax and de-stress and for one hour, I forget about all my problems. Part 1 is really what I go for.