Depressed

[Longan]

Feeling a bit down lately, partly due to stress and partly due to my life not going in the right direction. Not sure whether punting is helping or making it worse. Is anyone else going through a rough patch and does anyone have any tips on keeping positive during this time? Note that I do not have medical depression, just that I haven't been in the best of moods lately, so going to a doctor is unlikely to be the most suitable option.

[wilisno]

Contact Beyond Blue...

[rodran005]

Hearing you mate. Life often seems to work against you. Hope you find a way through the tough time. I have been there too. Good news is there is help out there including Lifeline and Beyond Blue, and some bigger medical centres can get you a cheap psychologist in some areas.
Sometimes its part depression part anxiety.
I learnt not to confide in work friends.

[mxxt81]

Mate, if you walk out unhappy and regret what you are doing then I would recommend stopping. It's hard though as this is highly addictive. Find a new past time. Something you can share with family or mates. Also get some professional help. Don't let it get to the point where people believe a permanent solution (harming yourself) is the best way to fix a temporary problem.

[Longan]

Mate, if you walk out unhappy and regret what you are doing then I would recommend stopping. It's hard though as this is highly addictive. Find a new past time. Something you can share with family or mates. Also get some professional help. Don't let it get to the point where people believe a permanent solution (harming yourself) is the best way to fix a temporary problem.
No I don't walk out sessions with regret. Having said that, I also don't walk out feeling it's helping me in the long term. And I don't see myself getting to the point of harming myself, it's not that severe, just that I'm feeling worried and helpless at times. Never got professional help before, maybe something to look into.

[rodran005]

The fact you are questioning punting may mean its better taking a break until your head is clearer.
The nice thing about this forum is you can say what you cant say to your real life contacts.
Main thing is remember you are a worthwhile person with dreams and hopes. I hope you pull through soon

[Palooka]

I'm old school . Longan we might of had our differences but i always thought you
a decent young chap. Hope you figure out what's troubling you. :)

[Mitch2]

Easier said then done but look at the positives on things that worked against you/

For example.

True story (me)
I am running a business but then due popularity, there are others that copied it and now i have more competition
for prices and the fact that i worked hard to create a market then someone just puts their odorous foot in the door can get me angry annoyed then depressed.

I looked into the positive for this. The product that i sell, i had to market hard, however due to more people doing it,

The product gets advertised around for free by the competition, and automatically and i sneak into the places where they worked hard to make contact. Also, because i was the first one, when the competition go to make a new client relationship, those newbies come to me because my product came to their mind when they got interested.

Also any faults they create, all new customers come straight to me because, well they know me and my product better.

This is a bad example but, you get the idea.

There are positives that you can take advantage of if something is working against you mate.

[harrycd]

Contact Beyond Blue...


This, if you are feeling suicidal then call lifeline

[Raybo]

I don't think punting would be helping you. If anything probably makes it worse. Go talk to someone, in confidence.

[AHLUNGOR]

Feeling a bit down lately, partly due to stress and partly due to my life not going in the right direction. Not sure whether punting is helping or making it worse. Is anyone else going through a rough patch and does anyone have any tips on keeping positive during this time? Note that I do not have medical depression, just that I haven't been in the best of moods lately, so going to a doctor is unlikely to be the most suitable option.

Time like this, your family, your school friends or your best mates at work probably are more in the position to help and give you appropriate advices. As they may have either noticed something not quite right with you and/or at the very least know your background .

That is not to say you won't get anything from the community here, it has proven time and again that there are some pretty good and smart life coaches around, you just need to sort out who's trying to help and be positive and who are just making fun and stirring .

Good luck mate !

BTW, a short trip away may help too, just to have a break and away from whatever is troubling you. And No, I didn't mean a punting trip to Thailand! If you do any team sports , that could also make you feel good.


Cheers

[Nejums]

Punting is a temporary escape from the harsh realities of life. I urge you to stop punting and focus on yourself and seek counselling if you truly feel depressed. Mental health is serious business.

[puntercouple]

Stop. Punting is a multiplier. If you're happy, you'll be happier with punting. If you're depressed, you'll be even more depressed.

[wachumba]

Sounds like you may have a very minor case of 'medical' depression. You will be surprised how little it takes to be classed as minor depression. Even feeling unhappy, lonely, sad or angry for a month or more can be classed as minor depression. They won't put you on meds for that though. Best to see your GP.

[Midnight_Prowl]

I was in similar situations as many other bros here.
But punting is not an answer for depression. Unless u r rich it will come back and bite u harder later. Than u get more depressed. Best way out of this is keep urself busy, i went to the gym, and let out all negative shit in da gym.
If work is busy it can be good as it will keep u occupied.
There r many other things but since i cant type everything.
Need to change way u look at life, u can be sad and depresses, or u can say to urself im gonna be happy and do much as i can today. Sometime life can be the way u want to perceive. If you change your perception to life, u can change ur life.

Best of luck

[Alex T Bear]

Feeling a bit down lately, partly due to stress and partly due to my life not going in the right direction. Not sure whether punting is helping or making it worse. Is anyone else going through a rough patch and does anyone have any tips on keeping positive during this time? Note that I do not have medical depression, just that I haven't been in the best of moods lately, so going to a doctor is unlikely to be the most suitable option.

Seek out a mentor! Someone you aspire to be like or someone who has the type of life you aspire to. Then ask the person to mentor you. If the person is truly successful they will put you on track to becoming successful and happy in the mean time

[vitamin]

Feeling a bit down lately, partly due to stress and partly due to my life not going in the right direction. Not sure whether punting is helping or making it worse. Is anyone else going through a rough patch and does anyone have any tips on keeping positive during this time? Note that I do not have medical depression, just that I haven't been in the best of moods lately, so going to a doctor is unlikely to be the most suitable option.

IMHO. people tends to be a bit down when their life is stagnant.

Growth in life is a large part of what excites and makes many people happy.
there are a few core areas (usually all must experience growth for fulfilment)
-Health
-Career/Finances
-Goals
-relationships

Whether it's
getting a promotion in jobs./making more money
Losing weight
Revealing that 6 pack
making new friends.
getting better at a hobbies (playing instrument, getting a better golf swing/decerasing your h-cap)
getting into a school/degree/career/job you wanted.
getting into a relationship, finding a girlfriend, getting married.
Staying single, racking up them numbers of girls you've slept with (looking at you punterman v.2.0)

etc..
progression in life in a positive direction makes people happy


Stagnation or reversal is generally what depresses people.
getting people to question wtf they are doing in life
- failing a or having to repeat in a year
- gaining weight
- losing a big chuck of money in bad investments
- stuck in a job year in and year out without prospect of growth/promotion/ or no end (retirement) in sight
- paying a mortgage's interest the amount owing constantly rising or stagnant
- losing a relationship
- Loss in general

Visiting WL is simply a release of sexual tension/ temporary euphoria/ escape from the real world.
Starts and ends at the door.
It neither progresses or regresses your life.
It's a simple time out easter egg in life before you go back into the real world and face it again.
-(so i don't think it neither makes it better nor makes it worse) [maybe your shrinking bank account may make you a bit sad but you may have a shit tonne of money]

only you can take some time and look at life and why you're not happy
figure out what it is you want or what it is that's making you upset.

The mind often hides from you the truth in order to protect your conscious self. you may have to do a bit of self reflecting.

[mrbluesky1]

If you're just feeling a bit down. Take a break from the punt, hit the gym, find a new hobby. You just gotta change your shit up. Take a risk.

[Longan]

Appreciate all the ideas guys.

Vitamin - I think you hit the nail on the head. Stagnation, that's exactly why I'm depressed. For most of my childhood years and even early adulthood, I've never really been depressed because there was always something I looked forward to. I was always seeking growth one way or another, whether that's swimming competitively, doing well in school, getting good at video games, getting into first real relationship, improving my public speaking or getting into the job I've always wanted.

I guess what kept me going all these years was the fantasies I created and told myself, about how life would be like when I "grew up". I dreamed up utopias and I believed in them. Now that I've "grown up", I began to see reality, realise the truth and it's ugly. The truth is hard to handle and reality is hard to swallow. I began to question why I'm doing what I'm doing and the more I question, the more I've settled into a rut. My life has began to stagnate - I haven't learnt a new hobby in years, I've quit the gym, haven't been in a relationship for some time and getting into a routine at work. Punting was the only thing I really looked forward to, because it was an escape. It was an escape from reality and the truth.

I don't plan to stop punting but I will try to rejuvenate my life again.

[Babycat]

[QUOTE=Longan;1084043 Punting was the only thing I really looked forward to, because it was an escape. It was an escape from reality and the truth.

I don't plan to stop punting but I will try to rejuvenate my life again.[/QUOTE]
Longan, what you said is exactly what my depressed client told me. He said he comes for puntings as it helps him to forget his issues temporary. Stays away from reality for a while. He thought about dead many times since he was teenager. There are lots of scarfs along his arms as he cut himself many times. Now he tries to deal with depression by appreciating what he has now.

[suka02]

You know Longan... everybody has it's own problem whether we deal it with ourself by giving up and fight for the depression.

Example: I myself is 29, all my friends and relatives are already married with happy life except myself feeling left out. I feel jealous and want to be like them. I still feel depressed at times when I'm alone but in my mind, I never give up and think positive that time will come when I'm ready to get married, though I haven't got a girlfriend myself and so my intention is to find a future wife and start a family. When I feel lonely/depressed I punt lol I try to punt less as I need to save up for marriage when I'm ready.


Well, you need to start focusing on what causing you to feel empty and make solutions. Punting is only to make you happy for short time, while doing it start finding solution. Don't forget to smile :)

[vitamin]

Appreciate all the ideas guys.

Vitamin - I think you hit the nail on the head. Stagnation, that's exactly why I'm depressed. For most of my childhood years and even early adulthood, I've never really been depressed because there was always something I looked forward to. I was always seeking growth one way or another, whether that's swimming competitively, doing well in school, getting good at video games, getting into first real relationship, improving my public speaking or getting into the job I've always wanted.

I guess what kept me going all these years was the fantasies I created and told myself, about how life would be like when I "grew up". I dreamed up utopias and I believed in them. Now that I've "grown up", I began to see reality, realise the truth and it's ugly. The truth is hard to handle and reality is hard to swallow. I began to question why I'm doing what I'm doing and the more I question, the more I've settled into a rut. My life has began to stagnate - I haven't learnt a new hobby in years, I've quit the gym, haven't been in a relationship for some time and getting into a routine at work. Punting was the only thing I really looked forward to, because it was an escape. It was an escape from reality and the truth.

I don't plan to stop punting but I will try to rejuvenate my life again.

I want to first preface this in saying. Depression is personal. I don't claim to know what you're going through or be giving the best/correct advice.
Only you know your mind. and if it's out of control or feel not normal seek professional help.

with that said. if your feeling just a bit low and just not happy with your life at present. and it's not pathological imbalance of the chemistry within the brain. Here is my 2cents

Take solace in the fact that you're not alone.

EVERYONE goes through a rut
no matter how rich, powerful, famous, successful you are. You're not immune to the chemistry of the mind.

unless it's pathological (bipolar)
The only deciding factor is whether you allow it to consume your life. settle for the status quo and dwell/feel sorry for yourself.
WORSE, look externally for solutions/distraction (drugs, gambling, games, alcohol, punting.) and make that the best/biggest part of your life. Which usually sends people into a spiral of self destruction.

Lack of growth -> depression -> distraction -> still no growth -> depressed -> more distraction.

or you make an active effort to change for the better.

I myself experienced a deep stagnant rut when i was in my early 20's. In a degree that i wasn't happy with. No idea where i was headed in life. don't even know what to do with my degree.
re evaluation of life and set life goals. changed degrees. happier ever since.

and my piece of advice is. Where do you want to end up in life. have a grand plan.
and every day whatever you're doing make sure you're doing something that moves you towards that plan. (baby steps, or in programming, break the problem down into modules)

an example i can give is.
If it's a relationship with a beautiful woman.
it's not enough to just wish the heavens to open up and send an angel your way.
or actively swiping on tinder hoping to get lucky that some hot ass girl who just happens to swipe right to you.

instead

Make yourself into someone a woman would consider lucky to be with.
a lot of people pray for it. hoping like wanting to win the lottery. To catch a rare (wtf is she doing with him) woman pokemon. Instead of taking control.
eg.
- hit the gym again and become fit and muscular, have a body that's in the upper 5% or 2% or 1% (depends on how high of a goal you wanna set). where when you strip. not only you have nothing to be ashamed of. but instead show off about.
- be confident. Improve personalities. why hasn't your previous relationship worked. what kind of man are you and improve that way.
- Be a good lover. in bed and emotionally
- understand women (requires a lot of dating) put yourself out there and don't be afraid to fail. meet people. get rejected. wonder why and improve.
- make more money (ties into financial goals) build wealth. property portfolio etc

now think. if a woman meets a man
who's
- well dressed (not necessarily good looking but neat and tidy)
- have an amazing body (but with correct priorities and not a gym rat)
- financially secure, even on his way to building a passive income future
- holds a good job
- understands women (because you've dated a lot and gained exp. Same as playing video games, more you play the better you get.)
- have a good personality (no anger management issues, no gambling or bad habbits alcoholism)

Do you really think a guy like that is common? or do you think she consider herself lucky? even excited to tell her friends about you?

At that point the only bottle neck is letting the girl discover you. the rest will sort itself out.

Morgan freeman said in an interview once
- don't chase women. let them chase you

quite simple.
It boils down to this.
- fix your finances
- fix your health
- fix your personality ( be a good person who you would want to be friends with or date )
- be the upper percentile of the bell curve.

Invite women into your life, show them who you are and and the women will come to you.
Like the i phone (i hate apple, i love android btw. just an example). they show people what they got. and people line up overnight to buy their products.

There was line in a movie "i think i love my wife"
Cooper. you'll lose a lot of money chasing women. but you'll never lose women chasing money (in reality case, you'll never lose women becoming a better person money/body/mind)

Grow bro. and you'll be happier and better for it. don't settle in your rut. and especially don't start feeling sorry for yourself. Change. I hope that helps. Feel free to pm me if you like.

[Alan86]

I would suggest self help books would be best for you.

About life goals, happiness etc