How to overcome depression?

[Babycat]

Have you got deep in depression? How does it feel? Can you feel/acknowledge that you're in depression? Then how can you get over it?

I asked because just last week I got bad news about my very first friend in Sydney that she was depressed and decided to suicide in Bondi on February. I was shocked. Totally shocked. She seemed like a happy but strong woman while I see myself very soft, weak and much emotional than her. She told me that she would focus on studying then try to get PR instead of falling in love which might get her distracted while I was worried more about not having boyfriend. She hanged out and joined outdoor activities while I just worked and worked but refused to have fun. Don't know what lead her to depression then that decision. I wish I could know her tough time/or contact her at that time so I could change somethings. But... Just the day before I got the news, I was happy with my job as it helped me to earn enough money so I could help another friend without deliberated. But with my above friend, I couldn't help her. Money could not fix it.
One client told me that depression is a disease and illness just like a physical one but in the mind then someone don't have the skills to survive.

I don't say people who chose that way to end is selfish. Maybe their pain is so deep that they can't feel or understand that their deaths can hurt others. They don't mean to hurt anyone. But it does hurt the one who loves them. I feel bad sometimes, but I don't want to hurt my family. I know how it hurts when people lost their loves so I don't want to them feel that way with me. That keeps me back. Then I also think that everything, even the worst thing would go away one day, so just be patient, and keep positive attitude. Then I will be survived. But then what if one day, people feel so tired and not want to suffer anymore?

[Sawamura]

Condolences, let me know if you want a hug ;)

Basically you need to find things you enjoy doing and surround yourself with good people.

[local]

Its always best to remember that help is always available.

I used to live in a country city and suffered depression at one time, which was actually picked up by a female friend who took me aside and basically nursed me back to normal over a period of 6 months. Basically recovery is a realisation that others have/are/will suffer just the same and its nothing to be ashamed of << KEY !!!

Even now living in Sydney, I suffer at times, when I feel down, I have a goto place to think things out. Funny enough that place is a long term friend's home, When she's down, she will ring me to come over for a drink. He ex could never understand, we never socialise together, but know enough about each other to help with out criticism.

So simply, if you don't want to go the "professional" route, find a real friend.

[Sawamura]

How does it feel? Can you feel/acknowledge that you're in depression? Then how can you get over it?

It feels okay, it doesn't feel great and its just kind of there.

Yes I belive depression is a self inflicted mental issue and some can be aware of it.

You can probably get over it by being more grateful, some people are murdered or killed in an accident or get a illness, despite stI'll wanting to live.
Also there are people in asia/Africa with alot less but are extremely happy. So not comparing yourself to others also helps.



I asked because just last week I got bad news about my very first friend in Sydney that she was depressed and decided to suicide in Bondi on February.

Also don't always belive what you hear, your friend might still be Alive? Maybe they were murdered or someone killed them in an accident?

[Fisher]

Babycat please take my advice and see a trained professional for help if you are feeling depressed.
There may be some smart members on here although your best solution and source of information is through your doctor.
The above response is just utter crap in my books from the uneducated on here.
I have been dealing with depression for many years.
Professional help is the only way to deal with depression and to get yourself back into a good frame of mind.
If you would like further info pm me and i will offer any help i can give you.

[Palooka]

Another one of my nemesis. Still hope you figure out what you really want in
life . We might differ in views but i realized in hindsight some of your
supporters are decent chaps. :)

[Alex T Bear]

Depression varies in severity from disruptive to totally debilitating. It's always best to consult a professional and not rely on the advice of friends/family who are not trained to deal with these issues

[Mitch2]

I really feel for you, and i have had the same experience, but people think depression is when someone is sad but in actual fact its a illness.

From experience, and by no means am saying i am correct or this is factually scientifically proven,
but having someone near with depression, is a disease/illness, and its seriously hard to get it right.

You cannot just cheer them up by taking them to weekly remedial massages, or go to a cheer up event every day its not going to work.

Listening to your background story, I can link few common things to my past experience.

It sounds like your friend had a vision and a will do make things happen, go forward with developing herself and her life here in Australia. I can say that she would have been a very motivated, someone who will never hand hold her hand put for small help because she like to take care of everything herself.

What happens is that firstly, their bodies become very tired, but their minds dont know how tired the bodies are.
They are keen to keep things in order and keep pursuing their goals in their minds they are very willing, however the bodies get too tired hence causing what seems like a chemical imbalance.

I think the mind being so anxious but body becoming too tired must cause some kind of chemical imbalance, and thats when depression starts.

They then fall into a very nasty state where they cannot move, their heart beat rapidly, and practically become immovable, feel lock in a coffin and depressed.

Sometimes, they feel locked in a coffin, sometime they feel helpless, and sometime they are afraid to lose everything they achieved, because of their condition becoming worse and worse.

Its a very serious illness, and trying to help is hard, as the individual have to really take it on themselves.
Doing pilates, and whatever relaxes them, and stop thinking about, what they have to do this and have to do that.

i know its not a help, but i wrote this to maybe share some background insight from experience on the sad situation your in.

Not nice to hear and write about this on such a early morning.

[rodran005]

Pretty good post Mitch. I never thought about depression like that.
I had it though, and it can take a while to get back on your feet.
With me, I had a lot of love from family, but they didnt know and couldnt help anyway. I was having troubles moving forward with life. And felt helpless. Eventually life got better, and looking back I was totally unwell at that time.
It was a combination of anxiety and some depression, triggered by work shit and a relationship breakup.
I deliberately avoided smoking and drinking coz I realised I was very vulnerable to doing more harm. At that time you need to care for yourself well physically, to minimise the impact
Anyone out there who feels like they are living under a cloud, you are not alone

[harrycd]

@babycat try speaking with beyondblue or lifeline, they are very good. I have friends who volunteer there.

[Babycat]

@babycat try speaking with beyondblue or lifeline, they are very good. I have friends who volunteer there.
I wish my friend seeked for help from them before. Then she could be saved. Her bad news was confirmed by her mum. We didn't dare to ask for more details. The day before she did that, she posted lots of quotes about life on her FB, but I didn't notice it untill too late. We alll wish we could know her issue earlier. That's why I want to know the depression syndrome. Feel like it was somehow our faults when were too busy with our own lives...

[Babycat]

I really feel for you, and i have had the same experience, but people think depression is when someone is sad but in actual fact its a illness.

From experience, and by no means am saying i am correct or this is factually scientifically proven,
but having someone near with depression, is a disease/illness, and its seriously hard to get it right.

You cannot just cheer them up by taking them to weekly remedial massages, or go to a cheer up event every day its not going to work.

Listening to your background story, I can link few common things to my past experience.

It sounds like your friend had a vision and a will do make things happen, go forward with developing herself and her life here in Australia. I can say that she would have been a very motivated, someone who will never hand hold her hand put for small help because she like to take care of everything herself.

What happens is that firstly, their bodies become very tired, but their minds dont know how tired the bodies are.
They are keen to keep things in order and keep pursuing their goals in their minds they are very willing, however the bodies get too tired hence causing what seems like a chemical imbalance.

I think the mind being so anxious but body becoming too tired must cause some kind of chemical imbalance, and thats when depression starts.

They then fall into a very nasty state where they cannot move, their heart beat rapidly, and practically become immovable, feel lock in a coffin and depressed.

Sometimes, they feel locked in a coffin, sometime they feel helpless, and sometime they are afraid to lose everything they achieved, because of their condition becoming worse and worse.

Its a very serious illness, and trying to help is hard, as the individual have to really take it on themselves.
Doing pilates, and whatever relaxes them, and stop thinking about, what they have to do this and have to do that.

i know its not a help, but i wrote this to maybe share some background insight from experience on the sad situation your in.

Not nice to hear and write about this on such a early morning.
Thanks for helpful sharing. She might thought she was not on track and tried to get back but too tired to handle everything nicely, I guess. Like people have to against the wave to be back to land. She was the only child.... But she graduated from a very good uni here and had a job in an education agent while I didn't have any good move.... I reckon what we see is not all what we know, sometimes.

[Soccerfan]

Depression is so personal. I don't know how to get out of depression, but to avoid it I think that people have to be disciplined and have:-

* regular exercise
* a good diet
* a strong social/family unit with people they can trust.
* a purpose, ie, with work or family life.

I also think that people need to be selfish and look after their own welfare, that may include going to the movies, going for a punt, alcohol or even having a social outing where you are outside your comfort zone. But beware that too much indulgence can also be detrimental.

People who are more prone to depression also have to see the early warning signs and be prepared to act, to get their life on an even balance. In an earlier comment a member stated that he had learnt the hard way not to confide in workmates. This is great advice as it can be used against you, and then you have even more problems. Talk to people who you trust.

Good luck

[nosferatu523]

Glad to see that most members seem to be more knowledgeable on this topic than I assumed.

But I guess it doesn't hurt to reiterate that depression is an illness and not just a state of being extremely sad and depressed.

It's more of a broken arm rather than a dislocated shoulder, you can't just slot it back into place.

So seek professional help, they'll take care of the complexities way beyond us. It'll take time to heal, as family and friends all we will do is act like the cast, just be there and provide support. We're not the medicine, no need to try too hard to cheer them up, sometimes it has the opposite effect.

[Shoryureppa]

Start with exercising. When you exercise, chemicals are released in the brain which help A LOT. Depression is fleeting, it comes and goes. That's how life is.

My life isn't rainbows & sunshine either. There are people who live in much harsher living conditions, still they push on with smiles on their faces. People say that depression is an illness? It's a luxury. An excuse to sit around and do nothing. You have good days, you have bad days... Get on with life.

I've had friends that have been through depression. I ask them to go on runs/long walks with me, talk with them, get their life back on track & spend time together. They are fine. Mostly, they needed a wake up call to go at their own pace & not compare themselves to others.

As for me, depression is a waste of time. You live for 100 years or so, if that & then you're gone. If I commit suicide how will I make money, punt, eat good food & play video games?

[Soccerfan]

It's also common knowledge that pets play an invaluable part in improving a persons mental welfare.

[Claymore123]

I suffered from mild depression about a year ago. Lack of emotions and just bored of the routine mundane life that I had to go through everyday.

Went to see a counsellor and that helped a bit. Decided to focus on exercise and that's helped a lot. Been going to the gym and dedicated my time to keeping fit. Now I have lost a lot of weight and I feel better about myself too.

I think different people have different way of dealing with depression. But please talk to someone if you feel like you're depressed.

[Punterman2]

I suffered from mild depression about a year ago. Lack of emotions and just bored of the routine mundane life that I had to go through everyday.

Went to see a counsellor and that helped a bit. Decided to focus on exercise and that's helped a lot. Been going to the gym and dedicated my time to keeping fit. Now I have lost a lot of weight and I feel better about myself too.

I think different people have different way of dealing with depression. But please talk to someone if you feel like you're depressed.

Nice story mate.

[androc]

Hi forum
Of all the men out there who regularly punt, how many do you think use a forum like this ?
And how common is depression on this forum
Cheers !

[BlackAdder]

Very sorry to hear about your friend Babycat.

I've only joined this forum a short time ago, and I'm really impressed with the way the community is rallying behind you.

[mrbluesky1]

Sorry to hear your story BC. As others said, major depressive disorder is a mental disorder that most of the time will require professional treatment. You cannot fix it with a good chat, a hug, exercise etc. This is different to a "mild depression" or down feeling we all have from time to time and in some sense, we always know in the back of our minds that life will get better at some time.

Commonly the person suffering from depression believes the world would be better off without them. People suffering from MDD who also have suicidal thoughts are often in such a state where they are simply trying to muster the energy to to commit suicide. It's not a question of "if" but "when". It is a hugely misunderstood condition and I would suggest seeking out some research of your own from reputable sources so you can maybe get some more understanding and hopefully closure as to how your friend was feeling. It is extremely difficult to help someone with MDD without some sort of professional help so I hope you are not too hard on yourself.

Let me know if you would like some help in doing this.

[Palooka]

There are monsters among us. They are everywhere like demons in the night you
know are there but you never see. Remember a Korean lady at old Jasmine's No 1
breaking down tell me how she had been brutally gang raped back home in Korea
and a Malaysian lady at Hargrave St shop ( long closed down ) how her father
had abused her and countless tranny's on Willam St telling me the only way they
could survive was by selling their bodies.This is over 10 yrs Willam St no longer exists.
This is not a dig at Babycat but i'm just saying depression can come from many
other sources which people in modern society will never see or want to admit
exists.

[des888]

Start with exercising. When you exercise, chemicals are released in the brain which help A LOT. Depression is fleeting, it comes and goes. That's how life is.

My life isn't rainbows & sunshine either. There are people who live in much harsher living conditions, still they push on with smiles on their faces. People say that depression is an illness? It's a luxury. An excuse to sit around and do nothing. You have good days, you have bad days... Get on with life.

I've had friends that have been through depression. I ask them to go on runs/long walks with me, talk with them, get their life back on track & spend time together. They are fine. Mostly, they needed a wake up call to go at their own pace & not compare themselves to others.

As for me, depression is a waste of time. You live for 100 years or so, if that & then you're gone. If I commit suicide how will I make money, punt, eat good food & play video games?

Dumbest thing I've ever read on this forum

[Bundyon]

Whoa! Fuckn hell. I am sorry to hear about your loss. Darlin depression is very complex and very common. Many different causes and many different ways to manage.
Depression is complex and not well understood. THat is why it takes 6 years to become a clinical psychologist and a medical degree+ specialisation to become a psychiatrist.
I don't think we poor peebles can deal properly with mental illness without seeing a psych. Getting anti depressants fro your local gp is NOT an effective treatment for many.
Drugs, gambling, alcohol, debt, no work and working in the high pressure of the sex industry does not go well with depression.
OK. Serious hat off. Go hard!

Love ya work Arfur Donga

[Palooka]

Why the sugar coating folks ? Its called Post Dramatic Distress ( PDS ) common
in sex workers. Can you blame the poor darlings though ? Many customers ask
for dark and sick fantasies which they would never ask their spouses in real life.
This inevitably leads to discomfort, trauma and then a inevitable breakdown .
This leads to self destruction like drugs , alcoholism , self harm , depression and
in worse cases suicide.
So please if you have a dark fantasy or evil intentions towards sex workers
you are doing nobody any favours. Go to dark web or some encrypted sites there
you will be welcomed.

[jeter]

Take anti-depression pill hehe :cool2:

[AHLUNGOR]

Buddy Franklin and Joey Johns both had depressions ! So it could happen to the strongest and big big sports stars as well .

Better get professional helps !

[Mr Bastard]

Those that throw accusations at others in regards to their behaviour are more often than not telling their own stories about their own behaviour. Some of the dribble contained in this thread is beyond belief, when a human may actually be in need of some help, whether you believe them? or whether you know them or not? or whether you like them? or you don't? for whatever reason, or whether you feel they have offended you in some way? Just because our computer screens and forum names have no faces, maybe some of the people behind the posts have real problems and nowhere else to turn to share their real life problems. These same desperate people are probably that desperate and in need of help that your uninformed and narcissistic comments could cause immense pain and suffering and maybe worse.

So if you are that inclined to be an evil piece of shit with no thoughts within your actions, take it elsewhere……………..

Now theres a thought……

:fire::fire::fire:

[CunningLinguist]

Those that throw accusations at others in regards to their behaviour are more often than not telling their own stories about their own behaviour. Some of the dribble contained in this thread is beyond belief, when a human may actually be in need of some help, whether you believe them? or whether you know them or not? or whether you like them? or you don't? for whatever reason, or whether you feel they have offended you in some way? Just because our computer screens and forum names have no faces, maybe some of the people behind the posts have real problems and nowhere else to turn to share their real life problems. These same desperate people are probably that desperate and in need of help that your uninformed and narcissistic comments could cause immense pain and suffering and maybe worse.

So if you are that inclined to be an evil piece of shit with no thoughts within your actions, take it elsewhere……………..

Now theres a thought……

:fire::fire::fire:

That's not a very bastard like post!
I must admit skimming this thread is making me depressed :)

[Palooka]

Those that throw accusations at others in regards to their behaviour are more often than not telling their own stories about their own behaviour. Some of the dribble contained in this thread is beyond belief, when a human may actually be in need of some help, whether you believe them? or whether you know them or not? or whether you like them? or you don't? for whatever reason, or whether you feel they have offended you in some way? Just because our computer screens and forum names have no faces, maybe some of the people behind the posts have real problems and nowhere else to turn to share their real life problems. These same desperate people are probably that desperate and in need of help that your uninformed and narcissistic comments could cause immense pain and suffering and maybe worse.

So if you are that inclined to be an evil piece of shit with no thoughts within your actions, take it elsewhere……………..

Now theres a thought……

:fire::fire::fire:
Yes 100 % agree with you Mr Bastard. Those who don't not agree with Mr B and my
responses shame on you . No double shame Noooooo Triple shame :shout:

[Palooka]

O . Isn't this so sweet. One member has a crush a infatuation . Like a child who
can't let go of his mum's bosom and feeds off her like a third nipple. This forum
continue's to surprise me . How delightful . How wonderful. :red_heart:

[Mr Bastard]

Maybe I should just fill myself with bitterness, hate and jealous anger, hows that going for you Joe?

[Palooka]

Maybe I should just fill myself with bitterness, hate and jealous anger, hows that going for you Joe?
Gee how touching :shout: I am sympathetic to your sir. I mean i like fiction
characters as a 4 yr old like Donald Duck but falling i love isn't that a bit
extreme ? :shout: How could you fall for something or somewhat thing that
has a multiple personality disorder ?
Pardon me sir . Can i ask a question ?
Which personality did you fall for ? :shout:

[Longan]

Palooka, I know you're a decent bloke and with the exception of a few posts, I actually enjoy your overall presence on this forum. However, I'm finding it hard to figure out why these same comments about fictional characters continue to be posted. While I do agree with the message (that if you follow the history and content of posts, it is likely that the member in question has in the order of 3 accounts with different personalities), I don't quite understand why there is a need to dwell on it. Just like punting, there's no need to take things too seriously - take what you like, leave what you don't and try to give back. Anyway, just my thoughts.

[Palooka]

Since you put it so eloquently i will not feud with Mr B. I have adjusted being honest
with WL /ML post.
Regarding Babycat this thing posted a thread and i answered it. How i answer it
is my prerogative. Thank you :)

[CunningLinguist]

Ok it is time to call a spade a spade, Palooka is the Poet Troll, he has tried to to control himself in this incarnation but he is losing it more and more.
I have updated the thread on him now:
http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?39297-Banned-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again

Poet Troll loves to fight with the Bastard.

Best to ignore it, it feeds off hate.

[Mr Bastard]

Glad to hear that Palooka, I was starting to think you had an infatuation with me, following me around and finding fault with my posts which have absolutely nothing to do with you……….

Carry on, as you were………….

[Mr Bastard]

Ok it is time to call a spade a spade, Palooka is the Poet Troll, he has tried to to control himself in this incarnation but he is losing it more and more.
I have updated the thread on him now:
http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?39297-Banned-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again

Poet Troll loves to fight with the Bastard.

Best to ignore it, it feeds off hate.

No Mr? …………………………………………..

[CunningLinguist]

No Mr? …………………………………………..

Sorry Mister, sometimes I just can't help myself :)

[Alan86]

Yes, there are two types of 'depressed' people I believe

1) Situational - someone lost a love one, marriage etc

2) Real physical illness due to low chemicals in the brain

For first one, keep a positive outlook and learn to be grateful

For second one, see a doctor, psychologist, and take medication

As far as suicide, some people just give up and can't see a way out. They have had enough of their pain. It's sad, but hopefully can be prevented

[Palooka]

Glad to hear that Palooka, I was starting to think you had an infatuation with me, following me around and finding fault with my posts which have absolutely nothing to do with you……….

Carry on, as you were………….
Why thank you Mr Bastard . I may just do that .
I underestimated you . You are jolly good chap .:miao: