So I call it a quit and here is my memoir

[Lostinblonde]

And if it is what you are wondering, i did the test 2 weeks ago and I am clean.

[niva321]

If it is depressing you, then you have an addiction and need help.

[krnboy]

If it is depressing you, then you have an addiction and need help.

Don't think it is an addiction. Just falling into love so quickly perhaps? There are some guys here who do fall for ML/WL and I understand it's hard to control your emotions. But as soon as you realise and wake up that they're all not true, it's easy to shut off.

However, I think what he is doing is a good thing. He needs to let these things out and can't be bottled up. This will be the first step and who knows, may not need help.

I do take depression very seriously so reach out if you need.

[liminal]

I don’t think the OP is saying he’s depressed clinically (if he is then as above go straight to your GP ), just saying that he has found punting or a limited number of encounters emptying, hence in the end unfulfilling , depressing.

This feeling may be present in his non punt relationships and he did say, he was in a relationship as at the same time as wanting more with a ML .

No judgement as been there done that to varying degree and far more than the above

[murphy]

Sorry to hear you have been felling unhappy or unfulfilled.

One observer looking at the situation would say, here is a guy paying money to fill a heart that has an empty hole

A separate observer could say, looking at the same situation, here is a guy spending some spare time, making love to young beautiful women. Lucky guy

Looking forward to your memoirs. All the best and hope you find your inner peace soon

[DoMoSan]

This is a good read. At the end of the day.. you have your memories... the good the bad the bitter sweet.. at least you have experienced it all. Reminds me of a Adele song.. “someone like you..” like the end of a relationship, you will move on and find something with a meaning.
Looking forward to hear more of your stories and perhaps when you continue with your memoir... you will smile and think about all them conquests you have achieved

[murphy]

I wouldnt be putting any of these women on pedestals. Just as I am human and flawed and not very exceptional and should never be put on a pedestal
Behind the makeup, the beautiful clothes and the fragrant perfume, is a normal vulnerable human being. When they choose to break up your association, thats it, thats life, and bid them farewell and blessings

Just like a butterfly you see in the garden, contact is fleeting. There is no point thinking the lady will remain in your orbit. She will fly away, because she is most comfortable alone.

Let her fly away, and meet another beauty. Life begins and ends, and has cycle upon cycle. Dont hold on, let go and be one with change

[Brothelcreeper]

As we have said before many times

If a girl is giving you something “special”, it is 100% guaranteed that the “special” is being offered to her other “special” customers.

The more “specials” the girl offers to her “special” customers, the more those customers will return to line her pockets.

Girls only punt for money. They may find their life partner as a result but I don’t think any girl does this job for the romance. Besides if you punt then you will continue to punt when you are with her so she is guaranteed a cheater.

Stand outside the brothel door for a couple of hours and look at the drongos that go inside with their big beer bellies, dirty clothes, smelly breath and bodies and imagine you had to fuck them. Definitely no romance there.

Think about it.

[Brothelcreeper]

Keep the memoirs coming Lostinblonde.

As a man who likes to partake in a bit of punting myself I am keen to hear your experiences.

[liminal]

As we have said before many times

If a girl is giving you something “special”, it is 100% guaranteed that the “special” is being offered to her other “special” customers.

The more “specials” the girl offers to her “special” customers, the more those customers will return to line her pockets.

Girls only punt for money. They may find their life partner as a result but I don’t think any girl does this job for the romance. Besides if you punt then you will continue to punt when you are with her so she is guaranteed a cheater.

Stand outside the brothel door for a couple of hours and look at the drongos that go inside with their big beer bellies, dirty clothes, smelly breath and bodies and imagine you had to fuck them. Definitely no romance there.

Think about it.

I am liking your analogies and points .. though to be unusually (for me) pedantic the OP was lost in love with ML’s - so a little more discerning iN the who they allow into their personal space as a special man

However the image you draw is accurate -stench drunken filthy - and the idea that all women do this job for its ‘romance’ ... would be highly accurate.

[nostromo]

I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest both ML1 and 2 are from Surry Hills establishments and have worked in the same shop at one time or another. And in 2s case, if its the same girl we exchanged PMs about, you're not the only client she owes money to.

[murphy]

As we have said before many times

If a girl is giving you something “special”, it is 100% guaranteed that the “special” is being offered to her other “special” customers.

The more “specials” the girl offers to her “special” customers, the more those customers will return to line her pockets.

Girls only punt for money. They may find their life partner as a result but I don’t think any girl does this job for the romance. Besides if you punt then you will continue to punt when you are with her so she is guaranteed a cheater.

Stand outside the brothel door for a couple of hours and look at the drongos that go inside with their big beer bellies, dirty clothes, smelly breath and bodies and imagine you had to fuck them. Definitely no romance there.

Think about it.

Yes I remember walking out of a brothel, after seeing a regular, and seeing this inebriated and poorly groomed malodorous man walking in. Im sure some of these walk-ins, can be told by the mamasan that "we are busy today", to send them on their way, and preventing any WL having to deal with them. I hope thats the case

We can really make a WLs day in some if these smallers shops, by being well groomed, having good hygeine and being a gentleman, treating the WL with respect

[lonely heart]

Yes I remember walking out of a brothel, after seeing a regular, and seeing this 100kg guy with big gut and business shirt walking in. Im sure some of these walk-ins (fat/sweaty/smelly) or drunk, can be told by the mamasan that "we are busy today", to send them on their way, and preventing any WL having to deal with them. I hope thats the case

We can really make a WLs day in some if these smallers shops, by being well groomed, having good hygeine and being a gentleman, treating the WL with respect

You will be surprise that how desperate girls are these days.... If you sent client away they will crucified you. Most of girls tactics is if the session go south, they will just come out (keeping their money) and let the reception pick up the pieces. I have know very few ML/WL willing to draw the line on not to take/start a job.

[Lostinblonde]

Slightly updated for some context, to be continued

[PervySage]

You will be surprise that how desperate girls are these days.... If you sent client away they will crucified you. Most of girls tactics is if the session go south, they will just come out (keeping their money) and let the reception pick up the pieces. I have know very few ML/WL willing to draw the line on not to take/start a job.

The downside of so much competition is that it has made every punter with a few $$$ kings.

[niva321]

You're 40, maybe you're having a mid-life crisis.

[Lostinblonde]

You're 40, maybe you're having a mid-life crisis.

my partner said the same thing but i dont even know mid-life crisis is even a real thing

[Forward Must Hang]

my partner said the same thing but i dont even know mid-life crisis is even a real thing

One day, I was giving a lift to my aunt when a guy in his 50s drove past in a convertible. My aunt said something about a mid-life crisis in a disparaging way. I fired up. "I don't think that's fair. There goes a guy who has something he wants. How do you know he hasn't worked his whole life to provide for his family and his kids have finally moved out, he has received an inheritance, and has taken the opportunity to give himself something he's always wanted but denied himself because he put others first?"

A mid life "crisis" is a real thing, but not so much the crisis part. It's natural to hit that point in life where friends are getting sick, dying early, parents are ageing and dying, your youth is behind you, you groan when you get up from the sofa etc.

When you hit puberty, you had to deal with that. You left school and got a job or studied - you had to deal with that. You go through all these life changes and things aren't the same as they used to be. It's life. There comes a point where the puberty-crisis becomes the school leaver-crisis and then the married man, mortgage crisis etc. Middle age is just another era. Mid life "crisis" is just dealing with another phase of life.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

Whatever happens and whatever you choose to do, be true to yourself and remember to look after those who matter to you. And good luck brother. Whatever you choose, good luck.

[Brothelcreeper]

One day, I was giving a lift to my aunt when a guy in his 50s drove past in a convertible. My aunt said something about a mid-life crisis in a disparaging way. I fired up. "I don't think that's fair. There goes a guy who has something he wants. How do you know he hasn't worked his whole life to provide for his family and his kids have finally moved out, he has received an inheritance, and has taken the opportunity to give himself something he's always wanted but denied himself because he put others first?"

A mid life "crisis" is a real thing, but not so much the crisis part. It's natural to hit that point in life where friends are getting sick, dying early, parents are ageing and dying, your youth is behind you, you groan when you get up from the sofa etc.

When you hit puberty, you had to deal with that. You left school and got a job or studied - you had to deal with that. You go through all these life changes and things aren't the same as they used to be. It's life. There comes a point where the puberty-crisis becomes the school leaver-crisis and then the married man, mortgage crisis etc. Middle age is just another era. Mid life "crisis" is just dealing with another phase of life.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

Whatever happens and whatever you choose to do, be true to yourself and remember to look after those who matter to you. And good luck brother. Whatever you choose, good luck.

Very true and insightful. Nice words

[Lostinblonde]

just updated of my encounters with some sugar babies if that is what it meant..

[Lostinblonde]

I wouldnt be putting any of these women on pedestals. Just as I am human and flawed and not very exceptional and should never be put on a pedestal
Behind the makeup, the beautiful clothes and the fragrant perfume, is a normal vulnerable human being. When they choose to break up your association, thats it, thats life, and bid them farewell and blessings

Just like a butterfly you see in the garden, contact is fleeting. There is no point thinking the lady will remain in your orbit. She will fly away, because she is most comfortable alone.

Let her fly away, and meet another beauty. Life begins and ends, and has cycle upon cycle. Dont hold on, let go and be one with change

well said, there is wisdom in your words, thank you sir.

[murphy]

well said, there is wisdom in your words, thanks sir.

Your memoir is a really powerful piece of writing, really personal, and from the heart.
Im sure a lot of people are reading it and can see parts of their own journey in your writing.

You make a lot of insightful observations about the Pay 4 Play world. You sound like a well rounded guy. Keep writing !

Thanks

[murphy]

SB1: Within days after registration, I caught up with a Vietnam girl from Brisbane on her business trip to Sydney. To be honest I am not a big fan of Asian girls (i am not a racist and I am an asian by myself but generally speaking, Asian girls are dull in the bed according to my own experience). However, as this was my first catch up request, I still went to the dinner with her at Darling Harbour. The girl is short, about 155cm, quite average in every way - average looking and average body, a bit shy during the first 10 minutes but could hold a conversation during the dinner. The dinner itself was normal and as I had no experience from this website, I had no expectation what would/should happen after the dinner.

So we took a walk around the area and had some chats. As her hotel was not far from Darling Harbour, I offered to walk her to her place but still not sure if something would happen. So at the lobby before the lift, I put my hands on her shoulder and testedly asked her in a joking way if I could come up to her room. Well, she didn't reject me so there we went.

I had to confess that she was a surprise to me. A small asian professional girl with average looking was a firecracker in the bed. I didn’t bring the condom so she insisted not to let me in but we did everything else we could, at one moment she also offered anal but for no reason I did not go ahead. It was a fun experience, especially for my first catch up from that website, and as I now realised, it was an exception that actually no money was exchanged that night. The girl didn't raise the request at all and it seemed just like a tinder experience.

She flew back to Brisbane the other day but we kept sexting. She is aware I have a partner while she is single but as she tells me that she doesn't really care. If she comes back to sydney or if I fly over to Brisbane, we will definitely catch up again for the pure sex pleasure. But if i lose her contact number, I wouldn't feel down for more than 10 minutes. So I guess this relationship is more physical than mental connection

'Generally speaking, Asian girls are dull in the bed according to my own experience'

Can you expand on this interesting comment a little? I honestly have never heard that viewpoint before. You then go on to talk about a Vietnamese lady, who is a firecracker in bed !

[annintofu]

1. OP:
has plenty of money, wellpaid job, enviable partner.
his #1 need is exciting encounters with more girls who love him as a man (despite him having a partner already), not for his money, so that both his ego and libido are taken care of.

2. Girls:
have good looks, nice figure, young pussy.
her top needs are better life style(read: more money), stable respectable job, and a strong but caring partner to have a family with.

The mismatch is plain for all to see, hence the relationship between OP and those girls won't last.

[Lostinblonde]

The Vietnamese was a surprise and changed my view towards Asian girls, maybe because she was born and raised here in oz

[Jamez11]

Thanks for the original post, I appreciate your honesty. I also found the whole sugar daddy/sugar babes stuff interesting.

I'm not sure if you have answered this already but what exacy are you looking for from these ML/WL/SB?

N_S thats a fair point, but he seems he already has a wife/family and friends that would presumably offer the things you mentioned.

[murphy]

Lostinblonde. It seems you are searching for genuine, emotional attachment and support within an industry that is mainly about paid, physical encounters.



No truer words could be said about the pasttime of punting and its shortcomings

For many, punting meets the short term need of physical sex without the obligations of courtship, when that physical need is not being met at home.

[krnboy]

One day, I was giving a lift to my aunt when a guy in his 50s drove past in a convertible. My aunt said something about a mid-life crisis in a disparaging way. I fired up. "I don't think that's fair. There goes a guy who has something he wants. How do you know he hasn't worked his whole life to provide for his family and his kids have finally moved out, he has received an inheritance, and has taken the opportunity to give himself something he's always wanted but denied himself because he put others first?"

A mid life "crisis" is a real thing, but not so much the crisis part. It's natural to hit that point in life where friends are getting sick, dying early, parents are ageing and dying, your youth is behind you, you groan when you get up from the sofa etc.

When you hit puberty, you had to deal with that. You left school and got a job or studied - you had to deal with that. You go through all these life changes and things aren't the same as they used to be. It's life. There comes a point where the puberty-crisis becomes the school leaver-crisis and then the married man, mortgage crisis etc. Middle age is just another era. Mid life "crisis" is just dealing with another phase of life.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

Whatever happens and whatever you choose to do, be true to yourself and remember to look after those who matter to you. And good luck brother. Whatever you choose, good luck.

Wise words my friend.

[rooter]

Looking for more than just sex with WLs/MLs/sugar babies etc is gonna end in tears, stress, getting ripped off, grief, getting used, regrets, guilt etc.
If you just punt and leave it at that then it's an enjoyable experience, and awesome fun.
And there is no point demonising the girls. They are just doing what they do.

[murphy]

Looking for more than just sex with WLs/MLs/sugar babies etc will always end in tears, stress, getting ripped off, grief, getting used, regrets, guilt etc.
If you just punt and leave it at that then it's an enjoyable experience, and awesome fun.
80% of the posts in the General Forum are by guys who can't just simply do this, and then give themselves all sorts of stress and heartache.
And there is no point demonising the girls. They are just doing what they do.
The guys bring all this upon themselves.

So true. People wanting one thing to be something else
As you say, once people get their head around what punting is and isnt, its 100% fun and pleasure. It is not about finding attachment. Its enjoying an intense physical pleasure with someone else, and leaving with great memories, pretty much like a connesssieur samples a fine meal, then walks out of the restaurant, with his spirit uplifted and a smile on his face
He cant have that meal at home, he dines out for the experience, and for a price, he experiences lifes delights.

[Lostinblonde]

If my family, career, friends etc is my real life, then punting is my second life to get something that I cannot get in my real life. But after a while, I’m just wondering which is exactly the real life. They are probably not compatible but are they convertible and interchangeable?

[niva321]

I’m just wondering which is exactly the real life. They are probably not compatible but are they convertible and interchangeable?


Mate, this hobby is messing with your head.

The intense rush of feelings we get with a new woman is composed entirely of neural activity and hormones. That is all they are. Destiny didn't bring you and your lover together. We must remind ourselves not to attach more meaning to these encounters, and the emotions that result from these encounters. One of the most dangerous things that can happen is when your feelings override logic. You may make decisions or sacrifices that you would never make with post-masturbatory mental clarity.

All of this requires focus. Good luck.

[murphy]

Mate, this hobby is messing with your head.

The intense rush of feelings we get with a new woman is composed entirely of neural activity and hormones. That is all they are. Destiny didn't bring you and your lover together. We must remind ourselves not to attach more meaning to these encounters, and the emotions that result from these encounters.

All of this requires focus. Good luck.

The scientists have implicated the hormone oxytocin to this process.
.
Punters are oxytocin junkies. The natural hormone of love and lust

[niva321]

The scientists have implicated the hormone oxytocin to this process. Google it
.
Punters are oxytocin junkies. The natural hormone of love and lust

I know. It wasn't necessary to make my point.

[CunningLinguist]

Looking for love in all the wrong places ...

[Lostinblonde]

Sb 3 and 4 added. No judgement please.

[murphy]

'he apologised again but confessed that she was very uncomfortable in the room for some reason and concluded that she was not the right type of girl for me'

These are the feelings and emotions I definitely want to avoid entirely in life. My punting is a transient thrill, no cross purposes or emotional ambiguities

[Lostinblonde]

This is my confusion as well. If the first meeting is in the room directly it is purely physical and apparently she has been doing that for a while so I’m very confused what was in her head at that moment.

[cmk76]

Looking for love in all the wrong places ...

No fine girls, just ugly faces...

[cmk76]

Yes I remember walking out of a brothel, after seeing a regular, and seeing this 100kg guy with big gut and business shirt walking in. Im sure some of these walk-ins (fat/sweaty/smelly) or drunk, can be told by the mamasan that "we are busy today", to send them on their way, and preventing any WL having to deal with them. I hope thats the case

We can really make a WLs day in some if these smallers shops, by being well groomed, having good hygeine and being a gentleman, treating the WL with respect

No need to fat shame other punters... All punters come in different shapes and sizes, just like the girls... We're not all born with bodies like Adonis... No matter how well groomed or not, you're still just a transaction...

[murphy]

No need to fat shame other punters... All punters come in different shapes and sizes, just like the girls... We're not all born with bodies like Adonis... No matter how well groomed or not, you're still just a transaction...

Ive removed this reference

[murphy]

The whole dating thing with anonymous women from internet turned out for me, to be a massive waste of time and energy. Been there done that and I was depressed once I realised how inefficient it was in terms of time expended. But some love the chase

For every hot stud that gets a root with every date, there are 10 men wasting valuable time

YMMV

[booyah]

To OP, is your wife asian as well ? Just wondering if this is also the case of grass being greener.

[xboyx]

first time reading this thread and tbh it's quite interesting
I have always heard those sugar babies saying "no intimacy" but from what lostinblonde said, it seems these girls are always up for sex, it's just another form of money in exchange for sex.
I can relate as I've been in similar situation where I wonder about what I want the most in my life and what I should look for, but I've got out of that situation.
my advice is to "have a clear goal" and work towards it, nothing else matters, the goal being your career, or your family, or your love life, pick one and go for it, everything else along the way can't interfere.
I find it interesting to hear about your experience with blonde/caucasian girls, wonder how it works out for asian guys with caucasian girls.

[xboyx]

first time reading this thread and tbh it's quite interesting
I have always heard those sugar babies saying "no intimacy" but from what lostinblonde said, it seems these girls are always up for sex, it's just another form of money in exchange for sex.
I can relate as I've been in similar situation where I wonder about what I want the most in my life and what I should look for, but I've got out of that situation.
my advice is to "have a clear goal" and work towards it, nothing else matters, the goal being your career, or your family, or your love life, pick one and go for it, everything else along the way can't interfere.
I find it interesting to hear about your experience with blonde/caucasian girls, wonder how it works out for asian guys with caucasian girls.

[paddington244]

it is just a paid for service
never forget that
Shane

[Lostinblonde]

The cultural nuance is real that’s my finding: what applies to Asian girls are not usually welcomed by Caucasian- they are more rationale, mature and independent.

[Lostinblonde]

Partner is Japanese so yeah an Asian

[ellison]

Is it a generalisation that a Japanese lady goes off sex after marrying. And if so why?

[niva321]

Partner is Japanese so yeah an Asian

Tell us more about Japanese girls