Steven Seagal
20-05-2012, 05:14 PM
G’day folks,
Today was a tale of two punts. Yes, that’s right…two punts.
In these two reviews Steven ‘Obi-wan’ Seagal shows you the dark side and the bright side of ‘The Force’. In this case ‘The Force’ is symbolised by the so-called ‘girlfriend experience’ aka GFE.
Folks, at one stage I had the greatest girlfriend and correspondingly great GFE. Her name was Stephanie and we well and truly intimate connections emotionally, intellectually and sexually. In short, she was my girlfriend and we were deeply in love. The experience was awesome. We’d often sit up all night talking about anything and everything and going through frantic stream of consciousness conversations where we shared all observations, thoughts and feelings with nothing hidden.
Sexually it was wonderful. She could be tender and passionate. We make love for hours and worked ourselves up into a great sweat with the sheets saturated. In these intimate moments it was as if our bodies melted together and our souls touched. I’d wake up during the night feeling her leg brushed against mine. I’d hear her heavy breathing in the darkness and be surprised when she’d roll over and embrace me.
During the day we’d talk to each other for ours over the phone. I’d leave work for lunch and drive across Sydney to have lunch with her. Just seeing each other was high and we couldn’t stop being affectionate with each other. Big wet kisses and small pecks were wonderful when exchanged with Stephanie. Get the picture folks? This is the bright side of GFE.
But things went sour.
Long nights in bed evaporated like stale beer in the Gobi Desert. When I’d kiss her she’d say “Don’t kiss me like that. I don’t like it”. When I’d call her during the day she’d tell me she was busy and couldn’t talk and couldn’t meet for lunch either. I knew she was giving me the bum’s rush.
Sex became routine. In fact, the sex got so bad I was the one with the headache who didn’t want to do it. Kissing her felt like how it would probably feel llike to kiss Bert Newton or Jackie Chan. (I know it’s terrible imagery, but that’s how crook things had become.)
We no longer communicated like before and I never knew what she was thinking. I would look at her and feel empty and like I wanted to be anywhere except with her. This is the dark side of GFE.
Today at Billy’s I got that same dark side of GFE.
This is a review of Susan.
I have a punter’s heart and am always seeking something different.. Three ladies were available and silly me chose the one I had not seen before.
The lady I chose was Susan. Looks mid to late 20’s, reasonably slim body, no tats or piercings, rather plain face, trimmed pussy and A cup breasts with non-responsive nipples.
It was obvious from the get go I was not Mr. Right for her As we got into the room I tried to embrace her only to be pushed away. She pushed me away like I was an ‘undeserving poor’ bum asking her for spare change with an extended dirty hand and stale cigarette breath.
I didn’t try to grab her , like a bloke at the chook farm trying to squeeze an egg out of a hen, but more like a gentle lover. Stephanie’s cold heard may have entered into Susan’s mercenary soul.
I am not getting into the in and outs of this except to say I would really like to know what her ‘I do’ list consists of. For me it was 30 seconds of bbj, mish and that was it.
She even had the audacity to do FOAM (fake orgasm and moaning) that was so unconvincing that I wanted to look in the mirror to see if I had a sign around my neck that said ‘Billy’s Resident Idiot’. The following conversation ensued:
Steven: How about you suck a bit more?
Susan: No, we already started to have sex.
Steven: What does that mean?
Susan: You don’t know huh?
Steven: Look we’re getting no place fast. Let’s forget the whole thing.
I showered, dressed and left the room and returned to reception where Billy was. I told him I should have seen Lisa or Twee-sea.
Steven: Susan didn’t like me. I don’t want to see her ever again. Half a session with her was too long.
Well Billy’s reaction was. . . .the same old shithouse Billy. Let me tell you some things I like about Billy. On second thought, there isn’t anything I can say positive about him.
As I departed I could hear her talking in an animated fashion to Billy. God knows what she said. I don’t think she was discussing with him Australia’s current account deficit or the price of pork bellies on the future’s exchange. I think that she may have been discussing Chomsky’s Cartesian linguistics, but I might be wrong about this. Who cares what she has to say?
As I left Billy’s two things crossed my mind. The first was that if I wanted to be treated like shit I could have called Stephanie and she would be happy to do it for free. The second thought was to go to 47 Sydenham Rd. and see another Susan, who is called Julia in that place.
So there you have it grasshopper.
May ‘The Force’ be with you and may you join me at my post re: 47 Sydenham Rd. Regarding Lily.
(Note: This review was posted by me on another site.)
Steven
Today was a tale of two punts. Yes, that’s right…two punts.
In these two reviews Steven ‘Obi-wan’ Seagal shows you the dark side and the bright side of ‘The Force’. In this case ‘The Force’ is symbolised by the so-called ‘girlfriend experience’ aka GFE.
Folks, at one stage I had the greatest girlfriend and correspondingly great GFE. Her name was Stephanie and we well and truly intimate connections emotionally, intellectually and sexually. In short, she was my girlfriend and we were deeply in love. The experience was awesome. We’d often sit up all night talking about anything and everything and going through frantic stream of consciousness conversations where we shared all observations, thoughts and feelings with nothing hidden.
Sexually it was wonderful. She could be tender and passionate. We make love for hours and worked ourselves up into a great sweat with the sheets saturated. In these intimate moments it was as if our bodies melted together and our souls touched. I’d wake up during the night feeling her leg brushed against mine. I’d hear her heavy breathing in the darkness and be surprised when she’d roll over and embrace me.
During the day we’d talk to each other for ours over the phone. I’d leave work for lunch and drive across Sydney to have lunch with her. Just seeing each other was high and we couldn’t stop being affectionate with each other. Big wet kisses and small pecks were wonderful when exchanged with Stephanie. Get the picture folks? This is the bright side of GFE.
But things went sour.
Long nights in bed evaporated like stale beer in the Gobi Desert. When I’d kiss her she’d say “Don’t kiss me like that. I don’t like it”. When I’d call her during the day she’d tell me she was busy and couldn’t talk and couldn’t meet for lunch either. I knew she was giving me the bum’s rush.
Sex became routine. In fact, the sex got so bad I was the one with the headache who didn’t want to do it. Kissing her felt like how it would probably feel llike to kiss Bert Newton or Jackie Chan. (I know it’s terrible imagery, but that’s how crook things had become.)
We no longer communicated like before and I never knew what she was thinking. I would look at her and feel empty and like I wanted to be anywhere except with her. This is the dark side of GFE.
Today at Billy’s I got that same dark side of GFE.
This is a review of Susan.
I have a punter’s heart and am always seeking something different.. Three ladies were available and silly me chose the one I had not seen before.
The lady I chose was Susan. Looks mid to late 20’s, reasonably slim body, no tats or piercings, rather plain face, trimmed pussy and A cup breasts with non-responsive nipples.
It was obvious from the get go I was not Mr. Right for her As we got into the room I tried to embrace her only to be pushed away. She pushed me away like I was an ‘undeserving poor’ bum asking her for spare change with an extended dirty hand and stale cigarette breath.
I didn’t try to grab her , like a bloke at the chook farm trying to squeeze an egg out of a hen, but more like a gentle lover. Stephanie’s cold heard may have entered into Susan’s mercenary soul.
I am not getting into the in and outs of this except to say I would really like to know what her ‘I do’ list consists of. For me it was 30 seconds of bbj, mish and that was it.
She even had the audacity to do FOAM (fake orgasm and moaning) that was so unconvincing that I wanted to look in the mirror to see if I had a sign around my neck that said ‘Billy’s Resident Idiot’. The following conversation ensued:
Steven: How about you suck a bit more?
Susan: No, we already started to have sex.
Steven: What does that mean?
Susan: You don’t know huh?
Steven: Look we’re getting no place fast. Let’s forget the whole thing.
I showered, dressed and left the room and returned to reception where Billy was. I told him I should have seen Lisa or Twee-sea.
Steven: Susan didn’t like me. I don’t want to see her ever again. Half a session with her was too long.
Well Billy’s reaction was. . . .the same old shithouse Billy. Let me tell you some things I like about Billy. On second thought, there isn’t anything I can say positive about him.
As I departed I could hear her talking in an animated fashion to Billy. God knows what she said. I don’t think she was discussing with him Australia’s current account deficit or the price of pork bellies on the future’s exchange. I think that she may have been discussing Chomsky’s Cartesian linguistics, but I might be wrong about this. Who cares what she has to say?
As I left Billy’s two things crossed my mind. The first was that if I wanted to be treated like shit I could have called Stephanie and she would be happy to do it for free. The second thought was to go to 47 Sydenham Rd. and see another Susan, who is called Julia in that place.
So there you have it grasshopper.
May ‘The Force’ be with you and may you join me at my post re: 47 Sydenham Rd. Regarding Lily.
(Note: This review was posted by me on another site.)
Steven