Punting breakthrough!

Needed to get this off my chest, can't really share it with friends/family lol.
I'm in my mid 30s, and my whole life, with girlfriends and with WL/ML in between, have only reached orgasm without my hands being involved once (from natural intercourse with a gf). Every other time with another person, I've had to take over and jerk myself off, for fear of running out of time, or the girl's arm or pussy getting sore. At this point I've had great support in the form of ball play, nipple sucking, kissing, whispered encouragement etc. but always my own hands to wrap things up.

I started punting after failing to ever cum with my first few girlfriends; I felt terrible, looking back I don't think either of them were that bothered but I projected my disappointment onto them. I figured I was likely fucked up on porn and masturbating, and once a dry spell set in I decided to fuck professional girls, girls hotter than I'd ever be able to date, in a more porn-like context, to see if the extra stimulation was what I needed. But that didn't work either, although I had lots of fun and made good and sometimes embarrassing memories. This left me feeling that it was more about psychology than stimulation, which kind of felt like a tragic dead end.

Anyway all of which is to say I finally got jacked off to completion for the first time to-day, hallelujah. The curse is lifted. Happy anzac day. Bless the ML that saw me through to completion and her hands.

Good for you bro rm85!

At the going down of the cock
We shall remember her
Lest we not forget

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Originally Posted by B J Hunter

At the going down of the cock
We shall remember her
Lest we not forget

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This should be call "Breakthrough Day" holidays.

All those who have achieved such freedom should also march through Hyde Park.

Actually, this is a great thing, and you're not alone with that issue. I've had it too, and I am sure a lot of other guys as well. For younger guys especially, who have been raised on immediate access to unlimited hardcore porn (me since about 10 years old), we have trained ourselves to be solo-sexual... my first 1000 orgasms I bet were jacking off to hardcore porn, and since then, I don't know how many more. Older guys had real experiences, their earliest, with real women, and porn was just not what it is now. If they had the ability, early on, to access what young people can now, they totally would too. That hardcore porn stuff is nasty, and it creates a lot of ED and other sexual problems.

I think punting can help a little with it... just, having a no-stakes situation where you can get back to basics. So, good for you man. Keep at it. Don't be a dick of course, but make it work for you.

This is awesome to read! Congrats man… hopefully now the monkey is off your back, you just keep at it and relax during your sessions (and hopefully experiences in real life). Perhaps you could do a few basic R&T sessions where you just lie back, the girl works you over and you just let it happen or not. No expectations, just let your body do its thing

All the best

Congratulations!! Which ml broke your spell?

I want my 5mins back

Did you have to jerk off in this 5 Star session as well ?? Sounded to me you had fucked to completion ?

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Originally Posted by rm85

I've been registered on the forum almost a year, but this is my 1st AR.
This is for a variety of reasons; I don't feel I have much extra to offer usually, or if I really liked a particular WL I selfishly decide not to add to the buzz, or I get uncomfortable approaching the task of assessing a living human through the lens of a product I consumed.

However, I have also noticed in my time watching these forums that anyone who complains is treated with suspicion if they have no prior reports, so I better get a few under my belt in case one day I feel you deserve to be warned about someplace.

I've seen 4 WL (not counting this one) and one 1 ML since September last year. After psyching myself up for so long I got a case of urethritis from the very first, and got cold feet for another 6 months, so the bulk of it has been quite recent. I've only been to Ginza and MOC prior to this report.

Anyway, with that out of the way, I spent 2 hours with Lily @ 5 Star this Sunday.

Booking was very easy by SMS. For some reason from reading other reports I had formed the impression that the Penthouse at 5 Star was a separate full apartment somewhere (someone mentioned a kitchen in one of them?) so when I asked for the address the receptionist probably thought I was pretty dumb. Not what I come for, obviously, but the room, bed and bathroom were nice either way. Getting to 5 Star was easy, I took a stroll through alleys from Kings Cross and the area and entrance felt quiet and discreet, another thing I value (maybe because it was Sunday).

Lily was very cute, easily the smallest teen body I've been naked with. Flawless skin and frame. Her face was very pretty, folks here have said she looks like Shu Qi, I would offer that she looked quite similar to Nat Tran but smaller. Lovely long hair, enhanced breasts (I am assuming?), perfect little waist. Very tight and tiny pussy, I kept losing track of her clit when playing with her, it was all so compact. Enthusiastic kisser, and very energetic. When I lost steam she would eagerly pick up the slack. She was so small I was able to easily scoop her up from cowgirl, take her to edge of the bed, and fuck her standing, then swing her back down to missionary, without my dick leaving her; I'm not a pipsqueak but by no means a big muscly guy, this was a first for me and I might have been more surprised than she was, lol.

Walked downstairs with weak knees that are still sore now from the gymnastics.. phew!
Would consider returning; both to her and 5 star. Hassle free and a pleasure all round!

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this is a pretty common issue. dan savage calls it Death-grip syndrome:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death-grip_syndrome

he has some suggested techniques to help overcome it you can probably google

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Originally Posted by AHLUNGOR

Did you have to jerk off in this 5 Star session as well ?? Sounded to me you had fucked to completion ?

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How did it sound like that to you, if it doesn't say how it ended? I deliberately omitted that detail because yeah, I jerked myself off while she licked my balls - my issue, not a problem with her body or service, not relevant to an AR. Same with every punt in those years. Or like I said, other things like kissing, her mouth on the head my hand on the shaft, nipple play etc. Never paid for less than an hour, often preferred 90 minutes in those days even for a first go, to put the clock out of my mind and try to fuck my way through it, but never worked. That one was 2 hours, first time visit, one shot.

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Originally Posted by Markin

this is a pretty common issue. dan savage calls it Death-grip syndrome

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I'm familiar with the phrase, but thank you. I haven't used my hands when actually solo in years, switched to toys like fleshlights/onaholes etc. and kept them loose to try and remove the association. It's more about consistency and tempo than pressure, in my experience. Even if a girl was gripping very tightly it wouldn't make a difference, if they faltered or kept changing gears. Can finish from fast and slow, loose and tight and in between, but it mostly boils down to locking in on something. It also takes longer for me to do it myself with company than on my own. Psychology (anxiety, self-consciousness) is still a large factor in the issue.

I reckon lots of porn actors have the same problem. Look at how many porno scenes finish with a COF and the guy jerking himself off.

yeah the upside is I can go for a while and (for now) stay hard, but that's become less of a plus dating age-appropriate gf's where we both just get tired, and WL's aren't gonna thank you for lasting long when they've got the whole day ahead of them. :miao:

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Originally Posted by jamescole

Congratulations!! Which ml broke your spell?

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Zoe at 227 NSM :prettiness:
I will probably revisit, but will also try asking other girls to replicate what she did. Was well taken care of :)

Just relax. You can have very pleasurable experiences without cumming and, who knows, if you’re relaxed you just might cum anyway.