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I just want to put out there of this behaviour.
https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/un...es-belittling/
It's been happening to me for awhile now and I absolutely hate it.
It's the reason why I got back into punting.
But is it a good enough reason to break a relationship?
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It’s 110% good enough to send your missus packing. It’s 120% enough reason to put any bloke on his arse!Quote:
Originally Posted by Riff888
I have never stood for it from anyone and never will. You have to have a standard and respect for yourself, it should be part of your boundaries!
For me I am straight on the front foot and make it very clear. Ppl that do that are cunts and often try and disguise it as a joke. I always call it out even if it’s not directed at me.
Bro, you got a Chinese missus? This is literally their handbook.Quote:
Originally Posted by Riff888
@Rogeryou I agree it's not on and and I have raised the issue with her, she didn't take it well to be honest but let's see how it goes.
@acl lol she's Thai but I did go out with a girl from Wuhan years ago who wasn't that bad. Did have an Indian GF who was a master at this.
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You only have one option bro, tell her straight up it ends today or get the fuck out! Don’t accept it mate especially in your own home, no one should come home to that. Every time she does it don’t talk about it, tear shreds off her man.Quote:
Originally Posted by Riff888
Happened once
This tall glam big busted showgirl and I had been seeing each other for around 6 months
For some reason the snide belittling began.I put up with it for awhile.It only got worse
I made it clear it was unacceptable.Her response was that she was the best fuck I would ever have and I'll just have to cop it
Wrong...
Dropped her home one night and it was clear she wanted a fuck.Told her no....the relationship was finished
She spat the dummy.Removed her gently from the car and left
She turned into a nightmare....Had to get a restraining order...Total nutjob
@Riff888 Your life must be hell to put up with this.
You either have a thick skin or your one of those who can easily ignore belittling comments.
Demand change and make change. If neither works it is time you plan separation.
It is tough to separate when kids are involves and finances to sort out.
At the end of the day, you live your life to be enjoyed and spend time with someone who cares for you and vice versa.
Tough decisions ahead. Do provide an update when you are ready to share your next chapter.
Understandable on why you punt to get the needed relief.
No need to take abuse, Relationships are to make life better, or else fuck them off. Ive punted all my adult life for the simplicity, no hang ups, hand over the cash, enjoy your time, however it goes, and thats that. No sexual pressure to confuse sex and love in personal life, so its a lot simpler.
I maybe wrong but I still believe that a longer term sexual relationship between a male and a female can better be maintained if they live separately. Each person has his/her own way of life and accommodating each other different lifestyle is easy to say than achieve. Until such time you two both want to have kids and build a family, the only reason to live together is perhaps financial imv. The divorce or separation rate is so high just because living together is problematic for majority of people. If finance permits, don’t live together until you want to have kids and build a family. Have sex in the hotel or the place where the one living alone and a much long lasting relationship will result.
I maybe wrong but I still believe that a longer term sexual relationship between a male and a female can better be maintained if they live separately. Each person has his/her own way of life and accommodating each other different lifestyle is easy to say than achieve. Until such time you two both want to have kids and build a family, the only reason to live together is perhaps financial imv. The divorce or separation rate is so high just because living together is problematic for majority of people. If finance permits, don’t live together until you want to have kids and build a family. Have sex in the hotel or the place where the one living alone and a much long lasting relationship will result.
Bro Riff888 ... this the reason I started punting as well... trying to find that connection and intimacy that had dried up once married.Quote:
Originally Posted by Riff888
There is only so much we can put up with, your level of tolerance may be higher than mine but I put up with it for 11 years before I pulled the pin... even after all the abuse, I kept questioning my decision for a long time but it's been a few years now and I realised I should have left much sooner.. I actually should have put the foot down and not accepted that behaviour in the first place.
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Bros, better becareful here. IMHO, there's a fine line between "regular squabbles" in a relationship, and actual deliberate belittling/gaslighting. I reckon that article crossed the line. I mean, any relationship must be able to withstand at least some criticism of one partner from the other. This article literally says any form of criticism is considered belittling... That's the straight road to Splitsville bro. I reckon, if the writer was genuinely trying to help relationships work, she should've written examples that are NOT considered belittling/gaslighting, and just normal relationship constructive criticism.
I personally don't go for any of these types of articles, on paper or Internet. I don't believe that anyone out there can understand the nuances of any relationship without being there to experience it. Everything has a context, every word is accompanied by body language, intonation, etc. All these things add meaning to what was actually said.
I prefer to just "follow my heart". If I find myself being unhappy all the time because of a relationship, that's enough to call it quits.
Yep, if you are not happy then it's time to call it quits.