Cairns: The pussy guide

In Cairns on business for the week and thought I'd share with you bros what I've learnt. Might save you some time too.

Massage
Checked out most of the massage parlours in central Cairns. Don't expect to get ANYTHING from there. Prostitution laws in QLD are enforced by undercover police and aggressive counsels. The shop owners are dead scared of having their business licenses revoked. Many places will even deny massaging your thighs and stomach, others go one step further and will simply not allow you to turn over.

In one place I specifically asked the massage therapist to work just on my front, belly and thighs. She didn't speak much English and kept gesturing to lie face down. At the end the shop manager came in and refused me service due to "sexual nature". Haha, fucking cunt!

On a single occasion I found a hot looking Taiwanese lady in a shop called Kelly's Tropical Massage on Lake St. She told me to "keep my undies on", but I said I wasn't wearing any (big fat lie) and she could just cover me with a towel. That was OK with her. She had a wonderful and sensual touch and just as I was under the impression that I could whip out my salami and start spanking it, I was told off. Damn it...

There is one place called "Massage Paradise" on 42 Grafton St. For an extra $50 the girl will go topless but YOU'LL HAVE TO FINISH YOUR SELF and you cannot touch her and she will not touch you. I think wacking off in front of a girl is hot, but some bros might find it weird or sad.

Brothels
There are two licensed brothers in Cairns: Northern Belle and Oriental Doll. Price averages around $300 for the hour.
I went to Northen Belle and had a 1 hr session with a great gal.

Backpage
I hooked up with some escorts that I found on Backpage. They will go through great lengths to convince you that their photos are "100% real". The majority use 2 or even 3 different phone numbers, but when you start texting them you see a pattern like same motel and room number for 3 different phone numbers, but 10 adverts with different girls. So dodgy.

I drove out to 8 different girls (yes 8!) and even with the "100% real photos" sticker slabbed on the ad, THEY ALL TURNED OUT TO BE FAKE.

All of the ladies I saw where 40+ sad Chinese fatties. Once I get in the door, I would take up my phone and show them the advert. E.g an advert showed a 20 something Korean hottie and the actual person in front of me was 40+ and Chinese. Even then they'll keep denying trying to convince you that she is the person in the photo. It's unreal and disturbing.

Then they go through great lengths to make you pay and keep you in the fold. I ended up fucking one of them, she didn't look too terrible, but I was just SO horny and would fuck anything with a pulse. She turned out to be quite nice and a horny little spinner and even gave me some free weed afterwards and a blowjob before I left. But still, fucking annoying with all the fake ads.

I really wonder why they bother with any photo's in Cairns , never a true asian to be seen.

well that was disappointing to hear...going up in a few months time :(

I like how you really tried to convince yourself that there was something happing in the cairns punting scene! Dating apps might actually do better than that haha...

Since the jumbos stopped flying into Cairns from Tokyo years ago, the talent has dropped off

Thanks for the great intel bro.

Things are looking up in Cairns
https://cairns.locanto.com.au/ID_592...hilippina.html

Not a fake...the real deal.

Chinese Anna on Locanto is about the best you can do in Cairns from my experience. Everything else is a bait and switch where you pay for an hour and as renushered out as a quick as possible.

Are there any specific bars/pokkies/RSLs in Cairns where there is a chance to pick up a MILF/GILF on a Friday or Saturday night?

From my experience cairns is the worst with old ladies and high prices

Cairns sounds dead