Well then, where to start?
Recently I've noticed I'm becoming less tolerant of other people. Maybe it's an age thing. I once recently described myself as happy go-fuck yourself, with all the easy going charm of a wounded tiger snake. Don't get me wrong, to people I like I'm positively delightful, but I guess the more time I spend working from home and keeping my social circles tight, the less time I have for fucking morons. The down side to being a borderline hermit is that I'm finding myself avoiding new places and adventures because I just can't be arsed. I prefer going to shops I know and where I feel comfortable. So it is fair to say had the bodyscrub been on offer at another shop I have never, or rarely, been to, I probably wouldn't have tried it out, and that would have been a mistake.
I have mentioned before that Jessie and I are text-buddies. She checks in on me occasionally to make sure I'm doing ok, and to remind me that there's always a warm massage bed and a pretty girl not too far away should I ever feel the need. Jessie messaged me last weekend, and the conversation moved to the fact that now they are doing body scrubs at Bexley. I was curious. Being terminally male my skin has all the smoothness of sandpaper. I thought it might be a nice change to the usual massage shop offerings, so tentatively planned a visit for this week.
Thursday arrived and it was another glorious day. Fate would have it that I had nothing on in the morning and so organised a 90min bodyscrub massage at Bexley.
Bexley is a long way from me.
A really fucking long way.
The drive down gave me time to reflect a little, something I seem to do quite rarely these days. I was lost in some thought when a song came on the radio.
"I don't knooooow where I'm going...
But I sure know where I've been.."
Yes, it was Here I go again by Whitesnake, a song that is cheesier than a cheese pizza with extra cheese, but has kinda become my punting anthem. Driving along King Georges Rd belting out the lyrics got me some strange looks, mostly because my windows were down and my singing sounds like a goose farting in the fog.
I arrived in Bexley and waltzed through the front door. The Vietnamese Ninja squad was assembled there. 2 girls I have no idea who they were, Jessie looking as sweet as always....
And Alice...
Jaysus H Fucking Christ...
I hadn't seen Alice in....*counts on fingers*... carry the two.... a long fucking time. 2 and a half years at least. She was far and away the best ml I had seen. Ever. Anywhere. Our sessions were breezy, fun, intense, and everything in between.
Normally I am a smooth, suave kind of character. Think George Clooney.. No, wait, think Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark. With glasses.. And a few crooked teeth.. (Seriously, sometimes I think it looks like a vandalised graveyard in there...)
For that moment in time my smooth and suave character gave way to awkward and "special needs" rather more quickly than I would have liked. I nearly tripped over the door and started bumbling my words like one of those terrible Hugh Grant movies "Wha.. I wa... ummm see.. Hi." *Internal facepalm*
The girl behind the counter eating noodles found my rather convincing impression of an idiot amusing. Jessie smiled and gave me a reassuring welcome hug. Alice leaned over to hug hello as well. If i were to rate the hugs I've given over the years, this would rate right along with the time a Mum at my daughters school who I had only met twice decided to hug me an a 38 degree day after I had been working outside... Not her fault, just me going all Sheldon Cooper..
Alice asked me how long I was staying, and I was still rendered slightly useless in the old speaking department, so Jessie answered for me. "90 minute bodyscrub."
Details were sorted and paid, and Alice walked off to the room, and instructed me to follow. Which of course, I did.
In to the room Alice told me to get undressed while she prepared the scrub. She left me alone to prepare, and to castigate myself for such an stupid inept reaction. In fact, not dissimilar to this scene from an old Ryan Reynolds movie..
https://youtu.be/NtTbq3_lPz0
I lay down on the bed and prepared myself for my first bodyscrub.
Bodyscrub - Alice.
Alice returned with big bowl of what looked like lime jelly with some 100's & 1000's mixed in. It wasn't. Rule number 1, don't eat the scrub.
She gently applied the scrub and massaged it around. The sensation is... nice. Now Alice could massage broken glass over your skin and make it bearable, but no this was actually a really pleasant sensation, the combination of exfoliation and massage, in a nice room with soothing music etc, certainly a good combination. Alice makes sure to apply (almost) everywhere, giving a not-too firm massage at the same time. I started to relax a little and go with the flow.
I have mentioned before I don't mind a chat during a session, and certainly in my previous experiences I enjoyed many a good chat with Alice, but the skill of conversation had escaped me that day. Before I knew it, after about 45 minutes, it was time to go and shower the gel off. Others have mentioned this process can be a little tricky, I would perhaps describe it as time consuming, but not in a bad way. A nice hot shower and Alice occasionally entering the room to chat about how my skin felt. I had to admit, it felt smoother than greased owl shit. I hadn't had skin that smooth in a very, very long time. After about 5 or so minutes it was back to the room where I would be receiving the massage.
Massage - Julia.
Julia entered to give me the moisturizer and massage. Julia is young, early 20's at a guess, and quite tall for a Vietnamese girl, with something of a dancers physique. Her face is cute. I feel a little sorry for Julia here, because coming in to massage after Alice is like coming in to bat after Bradman. Like coming up after Michael Jordan in a slam dunk contest. Like coming on stage after Queen at Live Aid. You get my drift here, no matter what Julia did she was going to be at a disadvantage. To her credit she did an admirable job. I can't really tell you what her english is like, because we barely spoke. My mind was now wandering...
I was jolted back to the present when Julia asked if I wanted 'extra'. I'll be honest, to that point it hadn't even entered my mind. I nodded in the affirmative. Extras were agreed and Julia disrobed. As I said, she has a dancers physique, tall, slim, big bust lovers need not apply, but by no means is she surfboard either. Julia started by doing a B2B on my back for a while, then she hopped off and requested I roll over. Extra extras were mentioned and agreed to, and Julia did a good job of giving a sexy girl vibe and pout. All in all a pleasant experience. (I am hesitant to go into too much detail after the recent events. PM me if you have any questions on the extras..)
We tidied up, got dressed, I handed over the agreed fee and it was time to go.
I went back to reception to say goodbye, Jessie had already gone. Alice hugged me goodbye, far less awkward on my behalf this time (maybe..) and she walked me to the back door. "It was good to see you/" Indeed, it was. I walked back out, hopped in my car and started the long, long journey home.
As I drove along, admittedly only half paying attention, I played radio roulette. Sure enough, there it was again, Whitesnake, what are the odds?
So, would I return for the bodyscrub? Yes, absolutely. Not every week, but say once a month I would think it's a great idea.
Would I return for Julia? Maybe. Hard to judge. She seems pretty fresh and may need one or two little pointers, but she has two of the absolute best in the industry to mentor her, so she should be another gem.
So it's a solid 2 thumbs up from me.
Here's hoping it's significantly less than 2 & 1/2 years before I see Alice next, and that I am significantly less of a fucking doofus when I do...
Until next time boys and girls...
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Originally Posted by Hardtime
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