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Thread: Dating a Papasan.

  1. #21
    99 Premium Member (特級會員)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Double_Adapter View Post
    I thought I’d be polite and provide an update on the Dating a Papasan question posed earlier.

    Considering all comments and suggestions by the well versed members I took a casual but direct approach.

    I called the shop and booked to see one of the girls. I made sure I arrived early to allow ample time to strike a conversation with the papasan.

    We got talking and openly exchanged information about our lives and the more the conversation continued the deeper the attraction became.
    Long story short he’s a university student and works at the brothel to make ends meet. He’s in a casual FWB relationship with one of the lecturer's. This relationship of convenience comes with various academic and sugar daddy benefits so he feels obligated to continue with the relationship even though he’s not 100% into the sugar daddy.

    He’s struggling to come to grips with his situation mainly due to his strict upbringing, cultural norms and taboos. His parents back in China would not approve of the relationship so he hides it by telling them he’s dating Chinese girls in Australia and posts photos of himself with some of the WL’s from the shop. His life is quite complicated and at times I felt for the guy.

    I suggested when he’s free, not studying for exams, and not working at the brothel we could have a chat over coffee. He liked the idea and said he would need to figure out the timing and logistics as his sugar daddy is very possessive, tracks his every movement, is overly suspicious, and is the jealous and overbearing type. He said the sugar daddy will frequently facetime him (rather than text him) so he can verify his whereabouts and where he is supposed to be. So as not to complicate his life any further I gave him my phone number and told him if things didn’t work out between him and the sugar daddy, or if he ever needed a shoulder to cry on and a warm bed to sleep on he could hit me up.

    Even though this didn’t pan out the way I envisaged I left the door open for him. Not wanting to be the 3rd wheel on this relationship I'll pull away and give the papasan space to work out his problems and his relationship with the sugar daddy. Perhaps the punting gods have been kind to me and I have dodged a bullet.

    Thanks for reading and happy punting.
    Thanks for the update. Yea a lot of university lecturers are dirty old men lol.

  2. #22
    Senior Member(無間使者)
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    So when I read papasan the first time I had envisaged someone more around the age of the university lecturer. I've seen the term boysan thrown around a little. Sounds like a better fit in this scenario.

    In any case, good luck to OP.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by alc View Post
    So when I read papasan the first time I had envisaged someone more around the age of the university lecturer. I've seen the term boysan thrown around a little. Sounds like a better fit in this scenario.

    In any case, good luck to OP.
    Yes, correct. I thought the term Papasan here referred to the male owner of the shop or the owner’s trusted manager. In any case, it means trusted male elder. If it was a real papasan, there would be issues with the power and wealth imbalance and of course him trying to conceal a homo relationship from Big Boss. If he’s only a uni kid who sits on reception part time, then there’s no risk, so just go for it. Jeez, the kid might as well work in shoe shop.

  4. #24
    Loyalty Member(超級無聊鬼)
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    Why do people behave this way?

    Thanks for your comments.

    There’s a theory that states in order to determine the age of Asian women, you first guess their age and then add 15 years. Does the same apply to Asian men?

    Anyway Ive concluded that either the sugar daddy is an insecure individual or the papasan/boysan is a player and therefore the sugar daddy has a reason to be suspicious.

    Though this makes me think about the number of stories where the script is flipped.
    A common theme I’ve noticed from the “Dating a WL/ML” threads is that obsessive behaviour, infatuation, clinginess and neediness, and passive stalking (whether intended or unintended) is rampant amongst some punters eg some people know the full history of their WLs, their rosters, all the shops they work in and were they’ve previously worked, the various names and aliases they go by, where they live, who they live with, their life etc etc…….just saying.

    I just don’t get it, what makes people behave that way?
    Did they have a controlled and possessive upbringing?
    Are they insecure about their sexuality and ability to find new relationships?
    Have they always struggled to find partners so the first attractive WL that treats them well they become infatuated and obsessed?

    I’ll be keen to hear the thoughts of the seasoned and experienced members or those that have walked this path.

  5. #25
    Senior Member(無間使者)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Double_Adapter View Post
    Thanks for your comments.

    There’s a theory that states in order to determine the age of Asian women, you first guess their age and then add 15 years. Does the same apply to Asian men?

    Anyway Ive concluded that either the sugar daddy is an insecure individual or the papasan/boysan is a player and therefore the sugar daddy has a reason to be suspicious.

    Though this makes me think about the number of stories where the script is flipped.
    A common theme I’ve noticed from the “Dating a WL/ML” threads is that obsessive behaviour, infatuation, clinginess and neediness, and passive stalking (whether intended or unintended) is rampant amongst some punters eg some people know the full history of their WLs, their rosters, all the shops they work in and were they’ve previously worked, the various names and aliases they go by, where they live, who they live with, their life etc etc…….just saying.

    I just don’t get it, what makes people behave that way?
    Did they have a controlled and possessive upbringing?
    Are they insecure about their sexuality and ability to find new relationships?
    Have they always struggled to find partners so the first attractive WL that treats them well they become infatuated and obsessed?

    I’ll be keen to hear the thoughts of the seasoned and experienced members or those that have walked this path.
    I'm far from a seasoned vet, but this is my opinion.

    People are weird man, and there is a bunch of oxytocin being released during sex that makes you feel amazing, that not everyone has a great deal of experience with that in a "casual" sense.

    Some people see sex as a very intimate affair reserved only for a lover, others are able to compartmentalise it as "just fucking" and not develop an emotion bond from the experience.

    I fell it's the former of the two that display the behaviours you described. Their way of thinking isn't a healthy approach to this hobby, and I feel you might be right regarding their ability to developing new relationships in general.

    Most of the blame is to be held with the 'Jon' who lacks experience with such interactions, but also some of the blame must be attributed to the WL/ML who may lay it on a little too thick during the booking in an attempt to secure return business.

    Overall, I feel like inexperience is the answer to your question. Mainly not being able to differentiate between "love" and "fucking".

    Additionally, the relationship these guys have with the WL/ML is never equal, he might only see her, but she will see many, so the infatuation will mostly be stronger in one direction.

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