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Thread: Catching "feels"

  1. #1
    Senior Member(無間使者)
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    Catching "feels"

    Recently i have been seeing a beautiful Japanese girl who perfectly fits my ideal type. Things have escalated to a point where I'm getting everything on the menu and "more" while paying less and less. She is usually booked out on work days and enjoys spending her days off with me relaxing.

    I'm definitely the type to catch feels (already have tbh) based on this behaviour but I know it won't last as she won't be in Australia very long and I have been burnt before. The fact that she hits every box in terms my type and personality doesnt help! Creating memories right now is what I'm focusing on.

    Do you have any advice on what to do as a punter that catches feels?

  2. #2
    Baby Member(留言版初哥)
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    Sounds like you answered your own question in your second last paragraph.

    Walk away before you invest more into this.

    Sent from my Nokia 5.1 Plus using Tapatalk

  3. #3
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    Hi Hamish,

    catching the ‘feels’ is not uncommon especially with the refined Jap ones. I guess it’s what we’re all kind of hoping for, that special connection. And you’ve developed something even more. When it happens with me, my attention span is quite short so I move on after a few weeks/months at most. A bro on another site summed it up real well by saying you can always distract yourself with another WL, there’s plenty of them out there, and probably even more to your liking. Anyway it looks like you’ve been burnt before so take it easy, build up the memories and remember you’re still in the honeymoon phase.

    Also, if you’re still looking for a PYT with a firm ass, PM me.

    Cheers

    AP

  4. #4
    Junior Member(有D料到)
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    It’s burnt as hell
    “How many times can the same thing break your heart?”
    As long as you love it

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by HamishAM View Post
    Recently i have been seeing a beautiful Japanese girl who perfectly fits my ideal type. Things have escalated to a point where I'm getting everything on the menu and "more" while paying less and less. She is usually booked out on work days and enjoys spending her days off with me relaxing.

    I'm definitely the type to catch feels (already have tbh) based on this behaviour but I know it won't last as she won't be in Australia very long and I have been burnt before. The fact that she hits every box in terms my type and personality doesnt help! Creating memories right now is what I'm focusing on.

    Do you have any advice on what to do as a punter that catches feels?
    Who is it? Which shop is she from?

  6. #6
    99 Premium Member (特級會員)
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    Huge trouble I'd get out of that while you have your sanity.

    I mean just think about all the dudes she's fucked while she works during the week. How does that make you feel?

    Maybe give me her details. I'll see her and write a AR.

    Anyways all jokes aside. NOT a good idea and you said you've been burnt before so you know the go. If spending more time with her is going to cause issues than I'd cut it off now before you get hurt more.

  7. #7
    Baby Member(留言版初哥)
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    The fact she won't be here long gives finality to the whole arrangement.

    I say enjoy it while it lasts and know it has an end date. Don't extend beyond it.

    Take my advice with a grain of salt though, as one who hasn't yet been burnt by a wl or ml

  8. #8
    99 King Member (帝皇會員)
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    I've dated and had relationships with dozens of Japanese girls over the years, not from this industry.

    I got the same feelings; they do anything for you, treat you like a god.

    But when their time is up, they pack their bags and go home, never to be heard from again. Even discussions about marriage are instantly forgotten. I've had friends who have married or de factoed them, but mostly it ended within a couple of years. They get through their PR "probation" period, and they are off; usually into the bed of a Japanese man.

    Enjoy it, but don't expect it to be everlasting.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by aussiegaigin View Post
    I've dated and had relationships with dozens of Japanese girls over the years, not from this industry.

    I got the same feelings; they do anything for you, treat you like a god.

    But when their time is up, they pack their bags and go home, never to be heard from again. Even discussions about marriage are instantly forgotten. I've had friends who have married or de factoed them, but mostly it ended within a couple of years. They get through their PR "probation" period, and they are off; usually into the bed of a Japanese man.

    Enjoy it, but don't expect it to be everlasting.
    Sounds like Japanese girls can disconnect emotionally really easily.

    Is that how JAV actresses can do all those porno scenes and fucking kiss the actor passionately and forget it after the shoot.

    I mean it must help with the coping process to disconnect their job emotionally.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by aussiegaigin View Post
    I've dated and had relationships with dozens of Japanese girls over the years, not from this industry.

    I got the same feelings; they do anything for you, treat you like a god.

    But when their time is up, they pack their bags and go home, never to be heard from again. Even discussions about marriage are instantly forgotten. I've had friends who have married or de factoed them, but mostly it ended within a couple of years. They get through their PR "probation" period, and they are off; usually into the bed of a Japanese man.

    Enjoy it, but don't expect it to be everlasting.
    I had the same feeling too. They come to Australia to have fun, experience our lifestyle and culture and then head home. In the process they will be friends when they need you to go out and see places but when it's time to return to Japan it's sayonara (goodbye) never to speak to you again with no intention to stay in touch. If they do say goodbye then it's a real miracle but usually no goodbye.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by cuteguy View Post
    I had the same feeling too. They come to Australia to have fun, experience our lifestyle and culture and then head home. In the process they will be friends when they need you to go out and see places but when it's time to return to Japan it's soyonara goodbye never to speak to you again and with no intention to stay in touch.
    Yeah, she's provided me her LINE and been sharing photos of her and with her friends too. I've taken her out to some places in Sydney and she always pays (which is kinda nice). I have a feeling that the chatting will stop once she leaves to Japan.

  12. #12
    99 God Member (神級會員) AHLUNGOR's Avatar
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    Here we go again !!


    Quote Originally Posted by HamishAM View Post
    Hey everyone,

    I'm not sure if everyone remembers my old story about chasing after a ML to become my GF. Here is the old thread.
    http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.ph...me-Love-or-not

    All I can say after 8-9 months together was fuck I should have listened to everyone in that thread. Holy shit this past few months have been hell. Let me fill you up with some of the backstory and my stupid actions and red flags I ignored.

    Part 1: What happened.

    - Met ML girl
    - Told me she didn't have a BF but she did
    - He was abusing her and I helped her
    - Helped her find a place to live and started our 'relationship'

    Following on after Part 1 - I managed to help her escape from her boyfriend. We kept seeing each other and formed a 'relationship' (I say relationship like this because she says she does not believe in labels like BF/GF - this was another red flag). Every day I would pick her up and take her home, get her dinner and bring her lunch to her work because she wouldn't eat properly. We also traveled a fair bit together around Australia and Internationally (I'll get to this one soon). Everything was looking good for 6-7 months - we decided to live together so I started looking for apartments and helping her with her visa paperwork etc. We decided to go to a trip to NZ once we moved into our apartment and that's where it went all downhill. I can accept that she sells sex as a service and that she does outcalls etc. But there was one guy who she claimed was a customer...but he wasn't - she would stay over his house once a week and always meet him (Wow red flag). He was someone she met before myself and was also seeing him as a boyfriend. She played us both for 8 months and saw us both simultaneously. We both were having natural sex with her etc. In NZ, halfway through our trip he finds out that she is with me (she told him she was travelling alone and she told him that I was a customer after she was found out). He decided to fly all the way to NZ to take her from me - and he was successful. She likes guys who do dramatic actions like that in a movie and i wasn't able to stop her from seeing him. So from there our relationship was pretty much over - she moved all her things out but she wanted to stay friends with me and still have sex - but that's not what i wanted. In between all this there were many arguments with me, her and him. Eventually she had to choose and I was willing to let her come back to me once more with a fresh start (I believe in second chances but I guess i was too naive) - and she chose me. We were living happily and fine again when she moved in. But, one night she decides to see him and suddenly doesn't come home. The next day she is at my agent asking to pay the break fee on our lease and move all her things. She didn't say one word to me or look at my face - she took her things and left concluding our story together. She went from making love with me and talking happily cooking meals together to dead cold silence and systematically moving out from me. I can say I believe I was a good man to her - never hurt her, gave her freedom and took care of her. Maybe I was too kind, maybe I didn't control her enough? I'll never know but she didn't tell me why she left.

    There are a lot more details to this story but this is the gist of it towards the end (all this happened within 2-3 weeks!). Now I can see all the red flags, the lying, the constant cheating with her past boyfriends etc. She was a good and caring person but she is very unstable with her behaviors and I don't believe she knows what commitment or loyalty means anymore.

    I feel a little broken in terms of trust now and I really wanted to know why she suddenly decided to leave me so fast without explaining or talking but i'll never get that chance. What do you guys think? Any recommendations on how to get past all this? Thank you for reading!

    If you have any questions about her feel free to leave a message or PM me for finer details.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by AHLUNGOR View Post
    Here we go again !!
    Hahah you're not wrong! I've learnt a lot since then and that was a fucked experience.

    Im definitely the type that gets comfortable with girls quickly.

  14. #14
    Super Fans (忠實Fans)
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    I think you answered your own question: you have experienced it before and you know what will happen.
    Enjoy it while it last, and try experiencing other girls and you will find another one.

  15. #15
    99 God Member (神級會員) AHLUNGOR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HamishAM View Post
    Hahah you're not wrong! I've learnt a lot since then and that was a fucked experience.

    Im definitely the type that gets comfortable with girls quickly.
    Mate, if you are still single then there ain’t no right or wrong, enjoy the moment, physically, sexually and emotionally till it ends then move on.

    Cheers

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meng View Post
    Huge trouble I'd get out of that while you have your sanity.

    I mean just think about all the dudes she's fucked while she works during the week. How does that make you feel?

    Maybe give me her details. I'll see her and write a AR.

    Anyways all jokes aside. NOT a good idea and you said you've been burnt before so you know the go. If spending more time with her is going to cause issues than I'd cut it off now before you get hurt more.
    A jap girl and leaving back soon, sounds like a girl we might know ha

  17. #17
    Senior Member(無間使者) Aloscha's Avatar
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    Enjoy it for what it is. Just be grateful that you met her at the right time and place and create as many memories as possible - write them down if you want to. If she wants to stay in contact then fine, but it's always better to have a clean break so you can move on and enjoy the company of many more "your perfect types" in the years to come.

  18. #18
    Junior Member(有D料到)
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    Quote Originally Posted by HamishAM View Post
    Recently i have been seeing a beautiful Japanese girl who perfectly fits my ideal type. Things have escalated to a point where I'm getting everything on the menu and "more" while paying less and less. She is usually booked out on work days and enjoys spending her days off with me relaxing.

    I'm definitely the type to catch feels (already have tbh) based on this behaviour but I know it won't last as she won't be in Australia very long and I have been burnt before. The fact that she hits every box in terms my type and personality doesnt help! Creating memories right now is what I'm focusing on.

    Do you have any advice on what to do as a punter that catches feels?
    If your ideal type is more looks focus then I would recommend just enjoy the moment and let it go after.

    If its about personality then maybe put a baby in her but I doubt if you can be so sure shes the one.

    Nobody is really perfect and check every single boxes imo. Many fishes in the sea, dont cry over what you cannot have.

  19. #19
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    @HamishAM, you seem to be looking for a GF. Then why don't try meeting a girl outside of this industry?

    If you keep trying to have relationship or befriend a WL/ML then it's at your own risk! I'm not saying these girls are not nice but obviously it's complicated (specially when she is just here to make money then go back to her home country and have her life there).

    Come on mate, wake up!

    Tip for you next time: never EVER talk to a WL/ML outside of the shop. As simple as that!

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by HamishAM View Post
    Recently i have been seeing a beautiful Japanese girl who perfectly fits my ideal type. Things have escalated to a point where I'm getting everything on the menu and "more" while paying less and less. She is usually booked out on work days and enjoys spending her days off with me relaxing.

    I'm definitely the type to catch feels (already have tbh) based on this behaviour but I know it won't last as she won't be in Australia very long and I have been burnt before. The fact that she hits every box in terms my type and personality doesnt help! Creating memories right now is what I'm focusing on.

    Do you have any advice on what to do as a punter that catches feels?
    enjoy it while it lasts and she is still here.
    She will only stay long enough as her visa or for a PR if thats what she is after.
    A mate has young (half Japanese) son with him which his "EX" even left behind when she went back to Japan to see her parents (and she has now disappeared). Extreme case, but it happens.

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