Catching "feels"

[Climax598]

You don't know 1/3 of her life and Background. The best is don't see her many time and often so you don't have an attachment.

[OLD SNAKE]

go for it, enjoy your time together, don't be judgmental, but always play it safe and use protection,
you never know ten years down the road where she has a normal life, you might meet up in japan fall in love and get married,

[JohnJones]

Recently i have been seeing a beautiful Japanese girl who perfectly fits my ideal type. Things have escalated to a point where I'm getting everything on the menu and "more" while paying less and less. She is usually booked out on work days and enjoys spending her days off with me relaxing.

I'm definitely the type to catch feels (already have tbh) based on this behaviour but I know it won't last as she won't be in Australia very long and I have been burnt before. The fact that she hits every box in terms my type and personality doesnt help! Creating memories right now is what I'm focusing on.

Do you have any advice on what to do as a punter that catches feels?

Psychologically our tendencies is to project our own ideals onto others subconsciously. What we like in others is what we "think" is the right kind of person. Most of the time we're looking for a partner who's as toxic and emotionally abandoning like our own mothers.

A friend of mine can't get enough of Japanese girls and won't date girls of other ethnicities. When I asked why, he mentioned that Japanese girls have "mysterious" personalities. Turns out it's the emotional abandonment type that he's drawn into. Some of my Japanese exes were like that, I was quick to discard them as soon as they show their sour side. Like some bros here have pointed, some J girls can disappear without saying goodbye because they're good at emotional abandonment. They don't initiate "breakups" just because it is their culture to be polite and not cause fights.

This J girl you mention, she's out with you mostly because she knows that you're harmless and won't take advantage of her. At the same time she feels lonely but doesn't want a relationship. Not many J girls are prepared to have relationships with non-Japanese men, the cultural differences are too wide and parents may not approve foreign partners. Also J girls are likely to settle with foreigners only if they are non-confrontational and good at keeping the harmony.

I had seen a Japanese WL outside of her work before, years ago. We went shopping together, had dinner and spent time at her home. We'd lie on the sofa together, hugging but no sex or kissing. She only allowed it during her work not on her day off. And she specifically told me we are not in a relationship - at least "not yet". All kinds of mixed messages came from her so I decided to stop seeing her one day, and told her that I'm only going to see her again if she agrees to make our relationship official. She tells me that she can't do both relationship and WL work at the same time so that's the end of us.

Funny thing you mentioned her giving you "more and more while paying less and less". If she works in a shop then it seems that she might be giving you diamond service at standard price or she's running her own private gig. Or this might be a fantasy fiction. Anyways, can't care less if this story is fiction or real because mine wasn't. And I wouldn't waste time chasing any girl's attention or pussy because how I met my current partner taught me a lot about relationships I missed out in the past few decades - if she likes you, she treats you very well, fucks you really good and says yes immediately after asking her to be your girlfriend - she's a keeper!

I've been dating too many time wasters and I should've known better in the past decades.

[Sibon]

Do you have any advice on what to do as a punter that catches feels?

Let your dick lead you to where it wants you to go and enjoy every minute of the journey for tomorrow never comes again.

[GoldfishMan]

@HamishAM, you seem to be looking for a GF. Then why don't try meeting a girl outside of this industry?

If you keep trying to have relationship or befriend a WL/ML then it's at your own risk! I'm not saying these girls are not nice but obviously it's complicated (specially when she is just here to make money then go back to her home country and have her life there).

Come on mate, wake up!

Tip for you next time: never EVER talk to a WL/ML outside of the shop. As simple as that!

Hard to change someone especially if it appears to be so ingrained into their actions. As bro AHL tried to demonstrate, HamishAM is known to be a guy who takes things a bit too far with the working girls that he sees. There could be any number of reasons for this: low self esteem rendering him unable to pursue relationships outside of punting, plain laziness so he goes for the “very low hanging fruit” that comes with punting, etc… the list goes on.

It’s a shame really. Punters not having discipline like this end up burning not only themselves but the girls too. Think “biting off more than one can chew”, that’s what I’m getting at.

So I agree with bro AHL on this. If this is who you are, why fight it, go with the flow and then think about the damage later.

[HamishAM]

Psychologically our tendencies is to project our own ideals onto others subconsciously. What we like in others is what we "think" is the right kind of person. Most of the time we're looking for a partner who's as toxic and emotionally abandoning like our own mothers.

A friend of mine can't get enough of Japanese girls and won't date girls of other ethnicities. When I asked why, he mentioned that Japanese girls have "mysterious" personalities. Turns out it's the emotional abandonment type that he's drawn into. Some of my Japanese exes were like that, I was quick to discard them as soon as they show their sour side. Like some bros here have pointed, some J girls can disappear without saying goodbye because they're good at emotional abandonment. They don't initiate "breakups" just because it is their culture to be polite and not cause fights.

This J girl you mention, she's out with you mostly because she knows that you're harmless and won't take advantage of her. At the same time she feels lonely but doesn't want a relationship. Not many J girls are prepared to have relationships with non-Japanese men, the cultural differences are too wide and parents may not approve foreign partners. Also J girls are likely to settle with foreigners only if they are non-confrontational and good at keeping the harmony.

I had seen a Japanese WL outside of her work before, years ago. We went shopping together, had dinner and spent time at her home. We'd lie on the sofa together, hugging but no sex or kissing. She only allowed it during her work not on her day off. And she specifically told me we are not in a relationship - at least "not yet". All kinds of mixed messages came from her so I decided to stop seeing her one day, and told her that I'm only going to see her again if she agrees to make our relationship official. She tells me that she can't do both relationship and WL work at the same time so that's the end of us.

Funny thing you mentioned her giving you "more and more while paying less and less". If she works in a shop then it seems that she might be giving you diamond service at standard price or she's running her own private gig. Or this might be a fantasy fiction. Anyways, can't care less if this story is fiction or real because mine wasn't. And I wouldn't waste time chasing any girl's attention or pussy because how I met my current partner taught me a lot about relationships I missed out in the past few decades - if she likes you, she treats you very well, fucks you really good and says yes immediately after asking her to be your girlfriend - she's a keeper!

This was very interesting. Thanks for the write up. I definitely feel as its just friends with some benefits. We snuggle, watch movies, get UberEats, taking her to dinner this weekend etc. It's really nice and from my perspective - very enjoyable. My brain triggers and thinks "Wow I wish I had this all the time" where then I start getting the feels. I do speak quite a bit of Japanese so it helps too - but you're exactly right about the cultural differences especially with marriage and emotionally detaching.

She doesn't want me to waste money on visiting her for an hour - she wants to enjoy the time she spends with me with no time limit. I didn't want to identify if she was shop or private just to keep her identity secure.

@GoldfishMan's comments - 100% I do have some issues. When I see someone else put effort into me I do fall for them quickly (doesn't help if they are 10/10 lookswise). This could be the lack of affection i've received, self esteem etc.

There are some great comments here about creating boundaries which I think will limit the likeliness of falling for someone. I'm not saying I fall for everyone - its it they fit my love criterias (looks, personality, contribution etc.) that it then triggers early on usually.

Let your dick lead you to where it wants you to go and enjoy every minute of the journey for tomorrow never comes again.

It has taken me to places that i've never imagined.....

[JohnJones]

I'm beginning to think that this is a fantasy fiction thread.

In the old forum I remember someone wrote about a Japanese ML whom he regularly visits told him she likes him but is going back to Japan and wants him to go visit her in Japan. He also claims that he is not an Australian citizen or resident, only on a student visa and that ML knows about it but still confesses she likes him.

Sounds like something only a fiction writer can conjure from his fantasies.

With this one he says the WL gives him more and more extra services for less the price, and pays for everything during their outing.

Let me tell you one thing about Japanese girls - I have dated halfies and full Japanese girls and they don't make relationships easy. They want you to continue chasing after their affection up until they say yes to your marriage proposal. Most of them will trample on you and show their scary sides because they want you to be able to accept them 100%. They will not pay for the date, there is no such thing as splitting the bill in Japanese dating culture. And as Japan practices emotional abandonment culture like many Asian cultures, Japanese women do not tolerate crybaby boyfriends.

Also from reading OP's previous post about chasing an ML to be his girlfriend I have to say that he might be a stalker. This time he doesn't use the word "girlfriend" for this Japanese WL but from his previous post it sounds very suggestive that he is trying to "chase" this girl.

Real men don't chase girls. Real men attract, real men asks directly for relationships and real men proves that he can be a leader in the relationship. If the low class girl says no or gives him mixed messages then he should have the balls to walk away. Only betas "chase" low class girls and make up imaginary stories.

[HamishAM]

I'm beginning to think that this is a fantasy fiction thread.

In the old forum I remember someone wrote about a Japanese ML whom he regularly visits told him she likes him but is going back to Japan and wants him to go visit her in Japan. He also claims that he is not an Australian citizen or resident, only on a student visa and that ML knows about it but still confesses she likes him.

Sounds like something only a fiction writer can conjure from his fantasies.

With this one he says the WL gives him more and more extra services for less the price, and pays for everything during their outing.

Let me tell you one thing about Japanese girls - I have dated halfies and full Japanese girls and they don't make relationships easy. They want you to continue chasing after their affection up until they say yes to your marriage proposal. Most of them will trample on you and show their scary sides because they want you to be able to accept them 100%. They will not pay for the date, there is no such thing as splitting the bill in Japanese dating culture. And as Japan practices emotional abandonment culture like many Asian cultures, Japanese women do not tolerate crybaby boyfriends.

Also from reading OP's previous post about chasing an ML to be his girlfriend I have to say that he might be a stalker. This time he doesn't use the word "girlfriend" for this Japanese WL but from his previous post it sounds very suggestive that he is trying to "chase" this girl.

Real men don't chase girls. Real men attract, real men asks directly for relationships and real men proves that he can be a leader in the relationship. If the low class girl says no or gives him mixed messages then he should have the balls to walk away. Only betas "chase" low class girls and make up imaginary stories.

It's a very real situation. That's up for you to decide though.

I've dated a fair share of Japanese women and yes you are mostly right but I have also encountered Japanese women who have western sentiments such as splitting the bill - especially in this situation. Since it hasn't happened to you - doesn't mean it does not happen.

I'm not chasing her - I know she has limited time. I do have "feels" for her - but I am trying to find advice on limiting those feelings from developing and insight on how other people manage or think about them.

I don't really believe in the real men bullshit - sounds like something a 70+ year old man says to justify forceful actions and push his feelings down the ladies throat - but each to their own!

[Mickeydrippen]

This thread had many thoughtful and poignant comments. Your feeling toward another obviously has bought up many sad and joyous memories. A few softies in this forum me thinks. Perhaps it is because we breath, we live, we love. The seeming endless supply of Asian beauties will continue to undo many a lad, young and old. If your young follow your heart.

[The Sampler]

Been a similar situation, not with a Japanese girl though.

Basically from the get go I've had to compartmentalise my emotions, money and time by keeping them in check with the reality of the situation, the overall outcome and the objective of both parties involved, with a side order of cautious scepticism.

In my situation it was a young Thai ML, she gave wicked massages and part 2/3 and was smoking hot. She quickly became my favourite ML and i visited often, until one session she asked if i could drive her home since i was the last customer for the night. Went up to her unit and got to chatting and know each other better.

Long story short we started doing things outside of the shop. But in the back of my mind i knew she was going to fly back home one day and she was providing services to other men. So i really treated it as a really long GFE (1 year), nice memories were made, and when i gave her a lift to the airport that was it.

So yeah, my advice is to make those memories, feel those feelings, experience the happiness you want to feel with this girl but always know that theres an expire date on that and you have to be able to move on without getting yourself rekt when the time comes.

[JohnJones]

It's a very real situation. That's up for you to decide though.

I've dated a fair share of Japanese women and yes you are mostly right but I have also encountered Japanese women who have western sentiments such as splitting the bill - especially in this situation. Since it hasn't happened to you - doesn't mean it does not happen.

I'm not chasing her - I know she has limited time. I do have "feels" for her - but I am trying to find advice on limiting those feelings from developing and insight on how other people manage or think about them.

I don't really believe in the real men bullshit - sounds like something a 70+ year old man says to justify forceful actions and push his feelings down the ladies throat - but each to their own!

Now you sound like a gay person who once tried to make me "fall in love" with him. Yuck! Very beta, makes up 1001 stories and hates 'real men'. Almost punched the poofter in his freakin face.

Yeah I can sound like a 70+ year old man but you know what? Wisdom comes with age. My current partner would've walked away from me and I'd never see her again if I was a sissy who can't ask her to be my girlfriend directly after seeing all the signs in front of my eyes. And I'm glad I didn't end up with the Japanese WL who toyed with my feelings just because she's lonely. That's how real men are shaped - through wisdom not sucking on their dead mother's tits for the rest of their lives!

[HamishAM]

Been a similar situation, not with a Japanese girl though.

Basically from the get go I've had to compartmentalise my emotions, money and time by keeping them in check with the reality of the situation, the overall outcome and the objective of both parties involved, with a side order of cautious scepticism.

In my situation it was a young Thai ML, she gave wicked massages and part 2/3 and was smoking hot. She quickly became my favourite ML and i visited often, until one session she asked if i could drive her home since i was the last customer for the night. Went up to her unit and got to chatting and know each other better.

Long story short we started doing things outside of the shop. But in the back of my mind i knew she was going to fly back home one day and she was providing services to other men. So i really treated it as a really long GFE (1 year), nice memories were made, and when i gave her a lift to the airport that was it.

So yeah, my advice is to make those memories, feel those feelings, experience the happiness you want to feel with this girl but always know that theres an expire date on that and you have to be able to move on without getting yourself rekt when the time comes.

Thanks for sharing. That's great advice - appreciate it. I'll see if I can do something similar.

Now you sound like a gay person who once tried to make me "fall in love" with him. Yuck! Very beta, makes up 1001 stories and hates 'real men'. Almost punched the poofter in his freakin face.

Yeah I can sound like a 70+ year old man but you know what? Wisdom comes with age. My current partner would've walked away from me and I'd never see her again if I was a sissy who can't ask her to be my girlfriend directly after seeing all the signs in front of my eyes. And I'm glad I didn't end up with the Japanese WL who toyed with my feelings just because she's lonely. That's how real men are shaped - through wisdom not sucking on their dead mother's tits for the rest of their lives!

Not sure why you are so aggressive. Never said I hate "real men" - try not to put words in my mouth. You make some good points overall. The whole Alpha/Beta shit is really cringe though - bb.com shit. I do believe in taking the initiative in situations yields better results - hell a lot of girls find it attractive. In my eyes, it really depends on the chemistry and personality that changes your approach.

[Rogeryou]

Huge trouble I'd get out of that while you have your sanity.

I mean just think about all the dudes she's fucked while she works during the week. How does that make you feel?

Maybe give me her details. I'll see her and write a AR.

Anyways all jokes aside. NOT a good idea and you said you've been burnt before so you know the go. If spending more time with her is going to cause issues than I'd cut it off now before you get hurt more.

Hahahajahajahahajajjahhaaa

[Basil22]

Now you sound like a gay person who once tried to make me "fall in love" with him. Yuck! Very beta, makes up 1001 stories and hates 'real men'. Almost punched the poofter in his freakin face.

Yeah I can sound like a 70+ year old man but you know what? Wisdom comes with age. My current partner would've walked away from me and I'd never see her again if I was a sissy who can't ask her to be my girlfriend directly after seeing all the signs in front of my eyes. And I'm glad I didn't end up with the Japanese WL who toyed with my feelings just because she's lonely. That's how real men are shaped - through wisdom not sucking on their dead mother's tits for the rest of their lives!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Assandlegs]

What a complete waste of time.
If you're still paying her for sex, then it can never be genuine.
Get out while the memories are still good and stop thinking with your cock.

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[sh1977]

@Assandlegs, Hey, mate
Check your message box, unable to PM to you

[sh1977]

Check your message box mate

[sh1977]

What a complete waste of time.
If you're still paying her for sex, then it can never be genuine.
Get out while the memories are still good and stop thinking with your cock.

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

Hey mate
Check your message box, I’ll PM ya

[Assandlegs]

Hey mate
Check your message box, I’ll PM ya

Bro sh1977 ... box cleared

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[Meng]

Hahahajahajahahajajjahhaaa

Lol. Legit question to the OP. Is she a popular WL or does she work at a popular shop? Are there ARs written about her? How do you feel about her fucking other dudes?