Reply With QuoteLove the choice of names bro
Leading up to the night of dinner, I was a little restless, going back and forth over scenarios of the event. I was starting to get a little anxious, but that would be normal. I took myself out of the scene, thought objectively and viewed it from the perspective of the others.
Before I did that, I profiled them. I thought I would give the parties involved names. The idea came about when I arrived at the apartment floor of my ML’s place. So, Minnie would be my ML. Mickey, her boyfriend. Daisy, my ML’s younger sister. And I would call myself, Goofy…
Minnie. I met her at a shop and started seeing her quite regularly for a few years. She is fun, carefree, confident and daring. She likes to party, indulges in recreational drugs and speaks her mind. She wears her hair short, almost like an ugly bowl cut, streaked platinum blonde. Although, it does look sexy on her. She has smaller eyes, darker skin, a few tattoos, a tongue piercing and is a chain smoker.
A lot taller than me, with an athletic built and very flexible. She’s not shy with men and has confessed that she initiates every relationship that she’s been in. And she has also ended every relationship that she has been in. She has a wicked sense of humour, with a devil may care attitude…
We get along extremely well, and we would be messaging outside of the shop. She would have been the type of girl that I would have dated almost a decade ago. When I use to party. Now, she is something like a WeChat friend outside of the shop. Our chats. There is nothing sexual or flirtatious. The only dirty talk we ever do is in the room, in front of each other. Outside of that, we are respectful and cordial. We share private details of each other like our background, occupation, family and relationships. We share what we feel is enough, and nothing more.
I like that about her, there is no pretence, no secrets and everything is black and white. She has never given any hints that she wanted to pursue anything further outside of a shop. Most importantly, she is loyal and trustworthy. I know that she is in a relationship, and that is where my line is drawn. We are also clear that there are no feelings for each other…
Daisy. I was introduced to her by Minnie. And have been given an OK to proceed with pursuing her. If Minnie had disagreed, I would have just dropped it. Daisy and I have been seeing each other for months. We have kissed but have not been intimate. I don’t really want our first time to be in a back seat of a Fiat! I’m wanting to arrange something special in the coming June long weekend.
I’m hoping that she can peel herself away from work and take a day off and spend a night or two away with me. She works hard, running her shop. Seven days a week she works at her bricks and mortar store from 10 to 7 pm. Then, heads home and continues fulfilling her orders online until late into the night. She doesn’t have much of a social life. After work, she facetimes her son every night, and this is the only interaction that she has, that is not with customers…
Daisy was reluctant at first to go out on a date with me, because she said that she could not commit to having a relationship, let alone having a boyfriend. She didn’t want to waste my time. I have made my intentions clear that I do want to see her, but if she decided that it was getting a bit much, we would mutually call it off. I do understand this part well…
Daisy was married in her early 20s, had her son, got divorced, and then never dated. And that is her relationship history in a nutshell. Obviously, her son is her main priority. Minnie once joked that Daisy has been dry ever since, and there was no way that I was ever going to get that river flowing again!
After the divorce, she had slowly built up her online store, before moving out to Sydney. An opportunity came, after an initial holiday. She then decided that she would stay to continue her business. That was almost a decade ago. She is now nearing 40 and soon wants to bring her son over to start high school…
Love the choice of names bro
I thought about this. If I wanted to be involved with her, I would have to fit into her existing life. That would mean, spending time at the shop, helping her out by doing whatever she needed me to, and just be there for her. She didn’t want me to do that. She didn’t want me to spend any time around her work life. She preferred that we met afterwards instead, so we could enjoy quality time together. I like that about her. She is honest and genuine.
Time is a luxury that she cannot afford to waste. Daisy said perhaps if the business has gotten better, she could then afford to hire staff full time. She has part time students working half days in the weekends, so she could run errands and get about her daily routine. Sometimes, I feel a little guilty when she makes the effort to meet me halfway across Sydney, just to have dinner, and just to have a chat. So, I’m not taking her for granted…
For a single mother, she is still very youthful looking. At the shop, the Chinese customers would call her ‘little sister’, and she is more than used to it. A total opposite to Minnie, she is a lot more reserved, not direct, softly spoken, polite, and friendly when need to be. Minnie describes her as boring, but we seem to have a bit to talk about. She dresses rather plain and modest. Long sleeve tops that fit, not too tight, not too loose, nothing at all revealing. And slacks that still accentuate her waist and hips. She is shorter than me.
But you could tell that she has womanly curves, ample bosoms and a pert rear underneath it all. You could say, she dresses somewhat functional. However, her face is her best feature, so fresh, fair and not a blemish in sight. She has a beautiful smile that is adorable. Long jet-black hair tied in a ponytail, big round eyes and perfect teeth. And she wears glasses to top it off! She gives off that nerdy vibe that I find irresistible. Naïve things that she says is so off the cuff and surprisingly cute. You would never have thought that she was a single mother, let alone had popped out a kid…
I get a little nervous when I’m around her. Like I’m a teenager all over again. I haven’t had this feeling for a very long time. I forget that I am a punter and have ploughed my way through shops all over town, conquering every ML that gets thrown my way. Even for a hardened punter like myself, she makes me feel like it was the first time being around a girl from high school. I must admit, I love that feeling and I don’t want it to end with her. Sex or no sex, I simply enjoy being around her…
Why is it that I could switch into a horny, ravenous punter when prompted by a lusty ML and get down and dirty on the massage bed, and then switch back to wanting just the company of a lovely lady, to have a meaningful conversation? In retrospect, many women in my life have serve this purpose separately for me. I believe that I have been conditioned by the compartmentalisation of the two. Is that too much of an idealistic dream that is unattainable?
Mickey. Minnie told Mickey that she introduced a guy called Goofy to Daisy, her younger sister. Goofy was an acquaintance of another friend. And that she is arranging a dinner where both can join in as a couple. Mickey met Minnie in a shop she used to work in almost five years ago. But they have been together as a couple for three of those years.
Mickey knows that she still works, and respects that it is her choice. Minnie has her own financial goals to achieve, and that Mickey had to live with that too. Mickey is a normal guy, who works hard, loves Minnie to death, but doesn’t get too involved with her work life. He picks her up from work when she finishes late, or if she doesn’t get a lift from a customer...
They have a normal life as a couple. Mickey doesn’t know too much about her customers only that they occasionally message her. Since Minnie has mostly friends who are men, Mickey accepts this. Mickey has stayed loyal to her and wants a future with her. Mickey doesn’t know too much about Goofy and Daisy, or that they have been seeing each other.
He only knows that Minnie made the introduction. Minnie has led on that Mickey might check her phone when she sleeps. But Minnie is not concerned, and says that if he wanted to do so, then it’s his choice because she has nothing to hide…
Nearing 40. Bro cmk, how old are you btw? About 46?
You're enjoying her company. You're not motivated to be intimate with her. She's not a PYT, so lust is not in the equation I think.
By the sounds of it, you are searching for a soulmate and you reckon this is it. That is all good bro, but I have one warning for you. Becareful not to project what you want onto them. Just because you're at a riper age and looking to settle down, doesn't mean a woman at around your age (let alone having kids) must be looking for the same thing. A woman at 40 can be just as horny and looking for action as a woman at 20.
Who knows maybe this lady expects you to bonk her brains out once the relationship gets serious and you can't deliver on it, then what?
This is why I always think it is safer to err on the side where YOU might be disappointed, rather than HER being disappointed. You can't make your little bro suddenly be excited by her, but you can start with your little bro being stonked by her, and even if she's a cold fish, you can always relieve it by punting.
You're overthinking everything, profiling et al...just go with the flow
My level of sarcasm depends on your level of stupidity.
Gonna start a warm fire, boil the water for my coffee, fetch my blanket, turn on some jazz music, find some feral cat of the street to sit on my lap so I can pat it as I seat back and catch up on the next chapter.
Tryna figure if the profiling is for your benefit or ours haha
Just here for the ride but if you want someone to talk to, feel free to PM me mate. Happy to hear you out.
Over time he probably wants one of those roles to be interchangeable...Originally Posted by FranktheGun
And probably in the short term...
More popcorn needed...
Great story mate, what a journey
Long and interesting read...
I'm guessing cmk76 is 46 too
It's a trap bro. Run. You male instinct is right. Don't get involved. Single life is best life. I wouldn't trade anything for that freedom.
https://youtu.be/4F4qzPbcFiA
Someone had to do it...
There are merits to both. I genuinely respect couples who stay together and in love with each other until the day they die, it is rare but it happens, I think for the rest of us we often have a case of "the grass is greener on the other side".
GFM, the name does give away my age. No surprises there...
I'm always searching for something in life, somewhere out there. At the moment, it feels 'right'...
You've got a good point about not projecting what I want, because it may be different to what she wants. She may well want to have a more active sex life. And I want to settle for a little less. Famous last words...
There aren't too many expectations from the both of us, so I suppose, this shouldn't lead to any disappointments? I can't really talk to Minnie about Daisy, so I'll just need to figure this one out like a grown ass man...
I will confess that in the past, when I have started dating a new girl, my punting routine stays the same. Even when we have started kissing and groping. Until we start having sex, I would leave the shops and concentrate on the relationship. I mean, isn't that what we all do?
There's a common saying and it is best not to get involved with single mums. If you have been with one you will know what you will encounter and why intelligent or sensible men tend to avoid them.
Before anyone jumps on the high horse to defend single mums let me say there are many single mums who are great women who work hard and care about their kids. They can be very caring and loveable. Yes the sex with single mums may be amazing when they are really horny at times but there are more matters to be aware of that may cloud your judgement about getting involved with single mums.
Firstly, you need to consider where you will be in a relationship with a single mum down the track. Her kids will always come first and you will be second. There will be baggage issues with the previous ex partner if he is still around and the in-laws who want to protect their kids from strangers. Sometimes when there is a mixed relationship, in-laws can be very critical and scathing of people who are not the same ethnicity as them. These are some points you need to be aware of before entering into a relationship with a single mum.
You make some seriously good points, speaking from experience, and as a single dad as well. It's one if the reasons I decided no more relationships until my own child finishes high school.
Yes, hooking up with a single mum is not an easy thing to do.
I'm personally more concerned about the extra burden of responsibility you will have in your hands. Single mums are usually in a worse position than regular girls because they would most likely carry scars from the previous relationship. Do you really want to add more hurt into her life by being the other side of yet another failed relationship?
Even if there wasn't really a previous relationship, you'd have to consider that this is a lady who already has the burden of raising a child on her own. Going into and then having to leave a failed relationship has far worse consequences for them than a regular girl.
Plus you'd also have to consider the kid. He or she will be around in your lives whether you like it or not. That's a huge factor too.
The other problem he may have is after going through all the effort of getting accepted by the mother he's then got to go through the same or more of an effort to get accepted by the son who (by working through his profile) would be a young teen by now.
Having had his mother's undivided love and attention for all these years he suddenly finds that he may have to share her with someone, and depending how old he was when his father left (and how bitter the divorce was) he may resent any new man in his mother's life.
My level of sarcasm depends on your level of stupidity.
Can I please clarify if you were born in 1976 or you are 76 CMK? If the latter there are some rather inevitable nearer term consequences to consider?
Do you have family and a will drawn up out of curiosity? I would think asset protection for your family and your choice of new partner would be relevant and early in the thought process, so much so it may render you preferring to remain single?
And to add to that, from personal experience.
So the kid accepts you, forms a bond with you, and then you break up and the kid is affected as well, it's like a break up for them too...
But we're getting ahead of ourselves here, there are many bridges for cmk to cross before these conversations need to be had. I have a friend who is divorced with kids, met a guy who'd never been married nor had kids, they are incredibly happy and he has taken those kids on as his own and loves them dearly, and they him. He never tries to replace their real dad, but is just a real stand up father figure type for them, it can work, it just depends on the circumstances.
Posting Permissions
|
|
|
|