Funniest punting incident

[PunterGhost]

Keen to hear any funny experiences from the bros here in the forum.

I went for a massage as shoulders were really sore in one of those shopping center massage places. Booked for an hour and paid the gap post healthcare rebate. Asked the ML to just focus on upper body (and kept my pants on).

Around the 30 min mark - she asked me if I was ‘depressed’ and I thought she was trying to make conversation so I went ‘nah - life’s good!’ and then things went quiet. It’s only when I walked out that I connected the dots…. 😂

Is that code for Part 2 (or 3 even)?

[asiafever]

I've told this story before, but it will be hard for me to ever top.
In Melbourne, felt the urge, looked up some privates and made contact with someone working out of Lonsdale st. Established time and price and arrived as agreed... Holy fuck, every Asian student in Melbourne is waiting in the foyer... I look horrendously out of place as a mid-forties cauc male.
Buzz the apartment, go up in lift and head to the room number.
Door opens to reveal a young cute Chinese girl who looks nothing like the pics... but that's fine because she is well cute.
Head off to the room to discover her English and my Mandarin are on par. Zero.
Google translate helps us establish what I had agreed to by text. She had no idea at all. Anyway agreement reached and we start undressing. I notice she has gone really shy. I stripped off like a pro and was totally naked while she was still struggling with her socks. I was already getting hard and she looked up and her jaw hit the ground. She didn't know where to look. I lay down on the bed and she lay next to me, like a statue. It was at this point I knew something was up. Back to Google translate.
I asked what was up, she replied "first time." I assumed it meant first customer.
I decide to ease tension with a massage. I give her a gentle massage for 5 mins, then she indicates she will do for me. After a while I turn over, and she is just staring at my fully erect cock. Like it was alive or something.
I take her hand and put it on my dick, so she starts grabbing It, moving It, inspecting it. Bizarre.
I get her to look up and we start kissing, and she starts giving the most amateur wank of my life. She had no clue. We kissed more and I started sucking her tits when there's a knock at the bedroom door. Another older girl comes in who looks more like the pics. She asks my name and I realise she is the person from the messages. She asks if I want to change. At this point I wanted to see what was going to happen so decline. "She not working girl. She my cousin." No shit she's not a working girl!
I ask if she's ok to keep going, she agrees, and now the cousin wants to stay and watch! My girl isn't comfortable with that and so the real wl leaves, but gives me some food for thought "Be careful, I think she virgin.."
Whadafuq?
Door closes and now my conscience is involved. How old is she? Is this right? She starts back kissing gently like a teenager and I am both highly aroused and quite concerned.
Google translate time.
"How old are You?"
"19."
Phew.
"Are you a virgin?"
She is not impressed with this question. I need to explain. "Other girl said so."
She laughed but still didn't answer.
Back to kissing and terrible but arousing hj, I had laughed at the absurdity of what was happening here a few times but now I needed it to reach conclusion. I grabbed the condom and put it on, she looked worried. At this point I probably would have gone a hj just to get it done. I grab the phone one more time.
"If you don't want to it's ok." I typed.
She shook her head and replied she was too nervous. I said that was fine, I could finish myself if she could help. I started wanking while she kissed me and grabbed my hand/dick. I was getting close, then she stopped, grabbed a condom, put it on, lubed It, then jumped on for the ending! She was very tight and as I was already close it really didn't take long for me to cum.
She had no idea how to clean up so I did it all, we got dressed as time was over, and went to the door. As we walked in to the living room there were actually 3 other people there. It seems we had a little audience. I wasn't going to hang around any longer, it was already absurd enough. I said goodbye and left, still not knowing what happened.
I went back to Melbourne a few weeks later but alas the number was disconnected and the ads gone. Yes I was thinking of seeing if she was still there, as terrible as it was it was also arousing.

[Meng]

I think there was a similar thread before but here's what I wrote in the last one. Still by far my most embarassing.

This was when I saw Mimi doing private. Booked her and as I've never seen her ever in the shops I didn't know what she looked like. Turned up at the apartment and waited a while. Not sure who I was expecting to come down to get me so I was on the look out for a Asian girl loitering in the lobby. There just so happen to be this hot long haired Asian girl in a suit who looked like she was on her phone and looking for someone. So I casually walked up to her. We made eye contact and she said my name. I was like Yea! She's hot. We walked into the lift and she gave me her card and that was when I realised I made a mistake. She was a real estate agent lol!

It was too late then and I ended up going up and checking out the apartment and then the actual person she was suppose to meet called. We kinda looked at each other funny and I was like we must both have the same name and looking at apartments. Finally went down and found the real mimi then we got in the lift together with the real estate agent and her actual client it was super awkward.

[asiafever]

I think there was a similar thread before but here's what I wrote in the last one. Still by far my most embarassing.

This was when I saw Mimi doing private. Booked her and as I've never seen her ever in the shops I didn't know what she looked like. Turned up at the apartment and waited a while. Not sure who I was expecting to come down to get me so I was on the look out for a Asian girl loitering in the lobby. There just so happen to be this hot long haired Asian girl in a suit who looked like she was on her phone and looking for someone. So I casually walked up to her. We made eye contact and she said my name. I was like Yea! She's hot. We walked into the lift and she gave me her card and that was when I realised I made a mistake. She was a real estate agent lol!

It was too late then and I ended up going up and checking out the apartment and then the actual person she was suppose to meet called. We kinda looked at each other funny and I was like we must both have the same name and looking at apartments. Finally went down and found the real mimi then we got in the lift together with the real estate agent and her actual client it was super awkward.

Haha that's gold! Love it.

[Rogeryou]

Posted this months ago when it went down

Met this 22yo Asian sugar baby asked me to come over her house as her parents were away.

Rocked up said we could use her brothers room because hers was a mess.
I pulled the old dog out she was impressed. She said I could fuck her bare back and blow inside, awesome.
Pushed in and wow it was sweet and tight, she went off like a rocket.
Asked if I could film she said yes, sent a small segment to one of the bros that comes on here.

I look over to the dressing table as I was destroying her pussy and saw a police ID. Blow a fucking massive load filled her box. As I pulled out the entire load covers the policeman’s bed who is her brother.
Told me it was the best fuck she ever had and that her boy friend can’t her like that.

Told her I could give her 300 OR I can smash her regular for 100. So took the 100 option and I fuck her when our planets align.

My only issue is her pussy is way to small and tight, she gets me super excited I get stupid and destroy her which she loves and my cock is ruined for 5 days.

Missus is going away this weekend doing her over night.

[Stefana]

I've told this story before, but it will be hard for me to ever top.
In Melbourne, felt the urge, looked up some privates and made contact with someone working out of Lonsdale st. Established time and price and arrived as agreed... Holy fuck, every Asian student in Melbourne is waiting in the foyer... I look horrendously out of place as a mid-forties cauc male.
Buzz the apartment, go up in lift and head to the room number.
Door opens to reveal a young cute Chinese girl who looks nothing like the pics... but that's fine because she is well cute.
Head off to the room to discover her English and my Mandarin are on par. Zero.
Google translate helps us establish what I had agreed to by text. She had no idea at all. Anyway agreement reached and we start undressing. I notice she has gone really shy. I stripped off like a pro and was totally naked while she was still struggling with her socks. I was already getting hard and she looked up and her jaw hit the ground. She didn't know where to look. I lay down on the bed and she lay next to me, like a statue. It was at this point I knew something was up. Back to Google translate.
I asked what was up, she replied "first time." I assumed it meant first customer.
I decide to ease tension with a massage. I give her a gentle massage for 5 mins, then she indicates she will do for me. After a while I turn over, and she is just staring at my fully erect cock. Like it was alive or something.
I take her hand and put it on my dick, so she starts grabbing It, moving It, inspecting it. Bizarre.
I get her to look up and we start kissing, and she starts giving the most amateur wank of my life. She had no clue. We kissed more and I started sucking her tits when there's a knock at the bedroom door. Another older girl comes in who looks more like the pics. She asks my name and I realise she is the person from the messages. She asks if I want to change. At this point I wanted to see what was going to happen so decline. "She not working girl. She my cousin." No shit she's not a working girl!
I ask if she's ok to keep going, she agrees, and now the cousin wants to stay and watch! My girl isn't comfortable with that and so the real wl leaves, but gives me some food for thought "Be careful, I think she virgin.."
Whadafuq?
Door closes and now my conscience is involved. How old is she? Is this right? She starts back kissing gently like a teenager and I am both highly aroused and quite concerned.
Google translate time.
"How old are You?"
"19."
Phew.
"Are you a virgin?"
She is not impressed with this question. I need to explain. "Other girl said so."
She laughed but still didn't answer.
Back to kissing and terrible but arousing hj, I had laughed at the absurdity of what was happening here a few times but now I needed it to reach conclusion. I grabbed the condom and put it on, she looked worried. At this point I probably would have gone a hj just to get it done. I grab the phone one more time.
"If you don't want to it's ok." I typed.
She shook her head and replied she was too nervous. I said that was fine, I could finish myself if she could help. I started wanking while she kissed me and grabbed my hand/dick. I was getting close, then she stopped, grabbed a condom, put it on, lubed It, then jumped on for the ending! She was very tight and as I was already close it really didn't take long for me to cum.
She had no idea how to clean up so I did it all, we got dressed as time was over, and went to the door. As we walked in to the living room there were actually 3 other people there. It seems we had a little audience. I wasn't going to hang around any longer, it was already absurd enough. I said goodbye and left, still not knowing what happened.
I went back to Melbourne a few weeks later but alas the number was disconnected and the ads gone. Yes I was thinking of seeing if she was still there, as terrible as it was it was also arousing.

That is definitely an unique experience you had there

[jamesjj]

I had a great session with a gal and asked her if she wanted to join me for dinner, as she'd finished her shift. So we drove to a restaurant of her choice.
I found a parking spot and was trying to read the many signs to make sure I was parking legally and said, "I think I'm ok to go here."
I didn't notice the neon sign for a brothel behind the parking sign but she did and said, "What, wasn't I enough? I thought you were taking me to dinner but you just want to go to another brothel. Just come back to my place if you're still horny." After much laughter I explained what I meant and we went for a meal as planned.

[rooter]

That an ugly fat old cunt like me can fuck thousands of young cute pretty girls just by handing over a few hundred bucks coupled with the fact that money means nothing to me is fucking hilarious. It makes me laugh every fucking time. I am handing over something that's worthless to me to get something that's priceless to me. That's something worthy of another verse in Alanis' Ironic song.

[LuvAsianPuss]

These stories are priceless, so funny. I've only ever had one funny occurence happen to me on a punt. We were just getting down to the deed and was just about to slip into her lovely little pussy when all of a sudden two legs of the bed broke off and threw us onto the floor. The bed hit the floor with a loud thud and the receptionist and 2 other girls came running into the room to see what happened. There I was flat on my back on the floor with a now deflating erection and 4 women laughing at me. Never went back to that place.

[PunterGhost]

I've told this story before, but it will be hard for me to ever top.
In Melbourne, felt the urge, looked up some privates and made contact with someone working out of Lonsdale st. Established time and price and arrived as agreed... Holy fuck, every Asian student in Melbourne is waiting in the foyer... I look horrendously out of place as a mid-forties cauc male.
Buzz the apartment, go up in lift and head to the room number.
Door opens to reveal a young cute Chinese girl who looks nothing like the pics... but that's fine because she is well cute.
Head off to the room to discover her English and my Mandarin are on par. Zero.
Google translate helps us establish what I had agreed to by text. She had no idea at all. Anyway agreement reached and we start undressing. I notice she has gone really shy. I stripped off like a pro and was totally naked while she was still struggling with her socks. I was already getting hard and she looked up and her jaw hit the ground. She didn't know where to look. I lay down on the bed and she lay next to me, like a statue. It was at this point I knew something was up. Back to Google translate.
I asked what was up, she replied "first time." I assumed it meant first customer.
I decide to ease tension with a massage. I give her a gentle massage for 5 mins, then she indicates she will do for me. After a while I turn over, and she is just staring at my fully erect cock. Like it was alive or something.
I take her hand and put it on my dick, so she starts grabbing It, moving It, inspecting it. Bizarre.
I get her to look up and we start kissing, and she starts giving the most amateur wank of my life. She had no clue. We kissed more and I started sucking her tits when there's a knock at the bedroom door. Another older girl comes in who looks more like the pics. She asks my name and I realise she is the person from the messages. She asks if I want to change. At this point I wanted to see what was going to happen so decline. "She not working girl. She my cousin." No shit she's not a working girl!
I ask if she's ok to keep going, she agrees, and now the cousin wants to stay and watch! My girl isn't comfortable with that and so the real wl leaves, but gives me some food for thought "Be careful, I think she virgin.."
Whadafuq?
Door closes and now my conscience is involved. How old is she? Is this right? She starts back kissing gently like a teenager and I am both highly aroused and quite concerned.
Google translate time.
"How old are You?"
"19."
Phew.
"Are you a virgin?"
She is not impressed with this question. I need to explain. "Other girl said so."
She laughed but still didn't answer.
Back to kissing and terrible but arousing hj, I had laughed at the absurdity of what was happening here a few times but now I needed it to reach conclusion. I grabbed the condom and put it on, she looked worried. At this point I probably would have gone a hj just to get it done. I grab the phone one more time.
"If you don't want to it's ok." I typed.
She shook her head and replied she was too nervous. I said that was fine, I could finish myself if she could help. I started wanking while she kissed me and grabbed my hand/dick. I was getting close, then she stopped, grabbed a condom, put it on, lubed It, then jumped on for the ending! She was very tight and as I was already close it really didn't take long for me to cum.
She had no idea how to clean up so I did it all, we got dressed as time was over, and went to the door. As we walked in to the living room there were actually 3 other people there. It seems we had a little audience. I wasn't going to hang around any longer, it was already absurd enough. I said goodbye and left, still not knowing what happened.
I went back to Melbourne a few weeks later but alas the number was disconnected and the ads gone. Yes I was thinking of seeing if she was still there, as terrible as it was it was also arousing.

Holy s…. what a great story. Not sure what the WL was thinking getting her cousin involved

[PunterGhost]

I think there was a similar thread before but here's what I wrote in the last one. Still by far my most embarassing.

This was when I saw Mimi doing private. Booked her and as I've never seen her ever in the shops I didn't know what she looked like. Turned up at the apartment and waited a while. Not sure who I was expecting to come down to get me so I was on the look out for a Asian girl loitering in the lobby. There just so happen to be this hot long haired Asian girl in a suit who looked like she was on her phone and looking for someone. So I casually walked up to her. We made eye contact and she said my name. I was like Yea! She's hot. We walked into the lift and she gave me her card and that was when I realised I made a mistake. She was a real estate agent lol!

It was too late then and I ended up going up and checking out the apartment and then the actual person she was suppose to meet called. We kinda looked at each other funny and I was like we must both have the same name and looking at apartments. Finally went down and found the real mimi then we got in the lift together with the real estate agent and her actual client it was super awkward.

This is bloody gold!!!
That would have been a long trip in the elevator

[PunterGhost]

These stories made my day!
Thank you bros!

[Bredandwine]

I had a great session with a gal and asked her if she wanted to join me for dinner, as she'd finished her shift. So we drove to a restaurant of her choice.
I found a parking spot and was trying to read the many signs to make sure I was parking legally and said, "I think I'm ok to go here."
I didn't notice the neon sign for a brothel behind the parking sign but she did and said, "What, wasn't I enough? I thought you were taking me to dinner but you just want to go to another brothel. Just come back to my place if you're still horny." After much laughter I explained what I meant and we went for a meal as planned.

Interested to see what the dynamic is like here haha. Have you visited her outside of working hours? and are you guys "friends" now? Nice to see that some people can maintain a healthy relationship with a ML/WL

[FatStache]

As we walked in to the living room there were actually 3 other people there. It seems we had a little audience.

I bet that crowd will be re-telling that story for years to come. Absolute cracker of a yarn.
Can't believe her cousin wanted to watch! I'll never understand Chinese chicks.

My funniest memory doesn't compare to the posts in this thread but might as well share it. A few years back at Chatswood60, I was having a NYE sesh with K Sue. We were having fun and lost track of time, so we heard management knocking on the door.
Sue just kept moaning louder to drown out the knocking, until management called out her name through the door. She walked us both over to the door with me still inside her, opened it up to the 2 managers and just pounded on my dick and moaned whenever they tried telling her to finish up.

The look on the managers' face was priceless. A combination of embarrassment, amusement and exasperation at the shenanigans.

After leaving I saw our session went 40 mins over lol.

[Funtwo]

First time at Ginza, I had a few drinks so obviously wasn't completely sober. Girl hands me a shot, and I down it like a champ and it looked like she was downing the shot too but she spat it out. I was confused. She was laughing. Asked me why I just drank the mouth wash.

[jamesjj]

Interested to see what the dynamic is like here haha. Have you visited her outside of working hours? and are you guys "friends" now? Nice to see that some people can maintain a healthy relationship with a ML/WL

This was the first time we'd met and we really hit it off, just wanted to continue the conversation. We're now good friends and we only catch up away from the shop these days.

[Budgyboy]

That an ugly fat old cunt like me can fuck thousands of young cute pretty girls just by handing over a few hundred bucks coupled with the fact that money means nothing to me is fucking hilarious. It makes me laugh every fucking time. I am handing over something that's worthless to me to get something that's priceless to me. That's something worthy of another verse in Alanis' Ironic song.

We must be the same person but split in two rooter, I too hand over a couple of hundred without a second thought and fuck the cutest little Asian girls that I would normally have no chance with or the desire to even attempt to chase. Me being older, fatter balder than the boy band Asian boys these girls love but still getting to fuck them is a delight in my life. I laugh my way home after my sessions everytime. Stop at the pub get a meal, couple beers and home to you tube and comfy bed, life's good.

[GoldfishMan]

I've got a few LOL moments, in retrospect of course!

One time I was really distracted by a lot of things, was having a smoke break with a cute little Taiwanese colleague. Suddenly got the urge to book a girl at Ginza so, while this chatterbox of a girl was prattling away at me, I whipped out my phone and typed "Hi, I'd like to book XXX at 6pm please", and hit Send. Immediately after hitting send, I realised my mistake: I'd sent the fooking message to the Taiwanese chick standing right in front of me!!

FMD, I immediately broke out in a cold sweat, but I managed to keep calm. I said to her "hey babe, are you uaing the new iPhone? Can I have a look at it?". She's passes it to me (I know, very gullible!), I take it from her with trembling hands and start working the menus to try to delete the message. She instantly realises what I was trying to do and tries to get her phone back... So I ran away and she was chasing me around the courtyard of the office trying to get her phone back, lol!!
I managed to delete it and then gave her some stupid excuse about accidentally sending a booty-call message meant for another girl to her.

Another funny one. I was completely buggered from a few long days at work and went to the Korean MP next to 1 Blackburn St. After the hot session, I just put on my t-shirt and drove home. Now, I dunno why, that night, everything seemed darker than usual. The room was darker, the streets were darker, darker in my car, etc. So when I got home, only then did I realise I'd put my T-shirt on inside-out!

Another messaging mishap. I sent a booking message for Lily at 5 star to SS. Got confused with the "star" in the WeChat profile. FMD, Nana never let me live that down for a long time, lol!

[woodland]

I was completely buggered from a few long days at work and went to the Korean MP next to 1 Blackburn St. After the hot session, I just put on my t-shirt and drove home. Now, I dunno why, that night, everything seemed darker than usual. The room was darker, the streets were darker, darker in my car, etc. So when I got home, only then did I realise I'd put my T-shirt on inside-out!

I don't get this one. Can someone explain?

[GoldfishMan]

I don't get this one. Can someone explain?

I just went from the parlour all the way home with my T-shirt on inside-out, dude.