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Thread: Funniest punting incident

  1. #21
    Senior Member(無間使者) ML_Lover's Avatar
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    Fairly tame vs some of the above, but…

    Was tidying up after a great first session with Luna at Sv about 3 years ago, talking about it was my birthday party Saturday night, lots of friends coming round…
    She picked up her phone, looked awhile and said “ok, I changed my schedule, I can make that”
    Cue a very embarrassed me… “errr…. I don’t think my wife would approve”
    Two embarrassed people.

    We got over it and hung out together for 2 months until she had to go back to Taiwan. She was a truly Beautiful person.

  2. #22
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    Dont think this is funny but strange or perhaps normal?

    im on the bed, wl was giving me BJ when another wl just comes in and starts talking in Chinese. I wasn't sure what is going on, im just laying there. The wL thats sucking me off doesn't say anything just mumbles while waving her hand shooing
    the other wl away so she just walks out and closes the door....

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Funtwo View Post
    First time at Ginza, I had a few drinks so obviously wasn't completely sober. Girl hands me a shot, and I down it like a champ and it looked like she was downing the shot too but she spat it out. I was confused. She was laughing. Asked me why I just drank the mouth wash.
    Oh so it's not a shot of Get27 offered by the house?!

  4. #24
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    Just a simple one, but memorable.

    I was on the massage table feeling a bit gassy, was uncomfortably holding this gas that i could feel swirling about in my bowels and rectum.
    In my mind i was trying to think of ways to quietly release a fart, but i knew the ML would probably smell it.
    It was the one time i was wishing for another customer to ring the door bell or phone or something just to distract my ML so i could fart.
    Was even willing to settle for another ML or mamasan to come along and start chatting through the door or something.
    Then it just happened. My ML let off a loud one. She apoligised profusely and was embarassed, i said its okay and told her i was holding one in too and my god did i let it rip!
    We both cracked up laughing and were very much comfortably degassed lol.

  5. #25
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    This is related…

    In about 2006 I went to popular a r&t massage place on a Friday night after a few beers. I selected the hottest chick working that night. She was about my age at the time (mid20s) and very unenthusiastic.
    The experience was very average. The chick seemed super bored by the whole thing.
    Anyway, 10 years later my coworker tells me her hot friend is coming to drinks with us and that years ago she used to work in a massage joint because of a huge debt she had. Guess who it was?!
    Anyway, she didn’t recognise me… I think.

  6. #26
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    Had a private once....and half way through her bf called =.=. It was real, not an excuse...and then it felt like a av moment lol, doing it while she on phone with her bf, trying her best to keep her voice normal on the phone lol, and I trying my best to make her cum =P

  7. #27
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    Funny quip

    Mines not so much a funny story as it is a funny quip made by the chick, and it's stayed in my mind earlier since. It was 15 years ago or more at one of the R&T joints at Newman St Bondi Junction. She was very complimentary of my cock and was playing with it between her arse cheeks... then she said she wanted it inside her and would I be ok with it if we fucked. I said yes, of course.

    She then said "first, we need protection "

    She toddled off to the bathroom briefly .. then returned holding a towel. She said: "Protection for the couch"

    She draped the towel on the couch and jumped onto it on her knees, back arched presenting her cunt to me. Amazing. I fucked her bareback doggy style to completion, at no extra charge. One of the greats

  8. #28
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    This happend to me recently, went to one of the massage parlour and the Chinese ML started with part 2 after 10 mins into massage and that went on for almost 30 mins of 2nd base with ML, we both got too horny and ML asked me to fuck her, she asked if I had condom, I said no and neither did she, she then ran into kitchen and came back with plastic wrap and wrapped my dick like a spring roll and jumped on it, was too horny and my dick made the thinking. Once I came started laughing and walked towards the parking lot realised how funny it was to fuck a lady with plastic wrap. She asked me to get condom next time.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carissawhore View Post
    This happend to me recently, went to one of the massage parlour and the Chinese ML started with part 2 after 10 mins into massage and that went on for almost 30 mins of 2nd base with ML, we both got too horny and ML asked me to fuck her, she asked if I had condom, I said no and neither did she, she then ran into kitchen and came back with plastic wrap and wrapped my dick like a spring roll and jumped on it, was too horny and my dick made the thinking. Once I came started laughing and walked towards the parking lot realised how funny it was to fuck a lady with plastic wrap. She asked me to get condom next time.
    Lol how tightly did she wrap it? No problem with circulation?

  10. #30
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    Had one of the funniest things happen to me in Amsterdam years ago. Was over in the UK for a cousins wedding so me and my 2 brothers decide to head down to Amsterdam for a few days beforehand. Have been there before but had just gotten divorced so first time as a single.

    Little bro and me were there first and I had a lie down when we got there to rest and he went off drinking. I decided to have a look around the red light district and found this gorgeous Spanish girl in white and blue panties with thick rimmed glasses. Went up and enjoyed her company for a bit. Part way through she pulled out a massive black toy and asked if I wanted it for either of us.

    Anyway finished up and found my little bro and dragged him down there to find a girl as he was also recently single. We’ve walked up and down and he said he’s made a decision. So he walks up to a window with a really hot Spanish girl in white and blue panties with thick rimmed glasses and I have to make a quick decision of if I should say anything. Apparently she asked him if his friend was coming up too pointing at me which he shot down.

    So next morning at breakfast I asked him and described to the tattoo she had. He stared me in the eye and called me every foul name he could think of. That afternoon older bro and his girlfriend got in and it came up that girlfriend was fine with big bro visiting a window as long as she got to come in and watch.

    So we all walked down to the red light district and wondered up and down. We brought up the little incident because little bro kept swearing at me and we had a good laugh. So big bro has made a decision. We look up at this gorgeous Spanish girl in white and blue panties with thick rimmed glasses and me and little bro just burst out laughing. Girlfriend looked at us and just said “that’s her isn’t it! She’s hot!”

  11. #31
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    Was having a nice one hour session and it had been a while so once the great first have was done did the old flip over and of we go for a nice naked hj like I said been a while and before long sky rockets in flight boom all over red rover she clean me up and started with a head massage, a minute in to this I here talking between mumasan and another out side then off goes my ML not a word lying there for 5 min I start to get dressed mumasan comes in said sorry another ML will finish me of get back on the table no charge for extra time and very apologetic so in comes new ML rubber in hand and starts working me up and boom covered BJ and this drained the life out of me as normally just a one shot wonder
    So walked out after 2 hours all up with it just costing just a one hour session


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

  12. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meng View Post
    Lol how tightly did she wrap it? No problem with circulation?
    My cum lubricated and came of easily later

  13. #33
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    At 227NS at the end of October. I’d come straight from work and texted ahead to ask to have a shower before my booking.
    I’m in the bathroom, drying off when the door opens unexpectedly (it has a lock but obviously I hadn’t done it properly.) The receptionist was in a bit of a flap that day so I expected it was her trying to hurry me up but I came face to face with another punter who was coming in to use the loo.

    It was a bit surreal but my recollection is that I was drying my back at the time so everything was on display. I couldn’t help but laugh afterwards because my automatic reaction was to say “G’day mate” with a grin on my face. The poor bloke looked terribly embarrassed as he quickly backed out of the bathroom.

    If that was one of you guys, my apologies for the show, but nice to have met you.

  14. #34
    99 King Member (帝皇會員) GoldfishMan's Avatar
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    One of the funny things that have happened to me is forgetting the name of the girl I’d booked when I get to the reception.

    The worst time was one time my mind went completely blank, couldn’t remember the name no matter how hard I tried.

    In the end I had to check my phone messages to get the name of the lady!

  15. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by GoldfishMan View Post
    One of the funny things that have happened to me is forgetting the name of the girl I’d booked when I get to the reception.

    The worst time was one time my mind went completely blank, couldn’t remember the name no matter how hard I tried.

    In the end I had to check my phone messages to get the name of the lady!
    Fucking gold.

    This also happened to me at Tiffany’s about 15 years ago. There were so many girls coming in, and I was changing my mind when I thought something hotter walked in. Then after a couple minutes boss come in and said who would I like? And I had no fucking idea. Just give me the last chick

  16. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bullzdog View Post
    Fucking gold.

    This also happened to me at Tiffany’s about 15 years ago. There were so many girls coming in, and I was changing my mind when I thought something hotter walked in. Then after a couple minutes boss come in and said who would I like? And I had no fucking idea. Just give me the last chick
    First place I tried here was Kyoto 206. Walked in off the street and they wouldn’t give me a line up, just gave me one girl. I thought, “oh here we go. It will be terrible” but it was actually amazing. She gave total attention to the parts I like given attention to

    Just one problem… I immediately forgot her name. 4 punts later with them, trying to find her, I gave up. Don’t know if she left, I just never found her, or she was a figment of my imagination. $1200 down the drain later as the others never came close

  17. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by GoldfishMan View Post
    I've got a few LOL moments, in retrospect of course!

    One time I was really distracted by a lot of things, was having a smoke break with a cute little Taiwanese colleague. Suddenly got the urge to book a girl at Ginza so, while this chatterbox of a girl was prattling away at me, I whipped out my phone and typed "Hi, I'd like to book XXX at 6pm please", and hit Send. Immediately after hitting send, I realised my mistake: I'd sent the fooking message to the Taiwanese chick standing right in front of me!!

    FMD, I immediately broke out in a cold sweat, but I managed to keep calm. I said to her "hey babe, are you uaing the new iPhone? Can I have a look at it?". She's passes it to me (I know, very gullible!), I take it from her with trembling hands and start working the menus to try to delete the message. She instantly realises what I was trying to do and tries to get her phone back... So I ran away and she was chasing me around the courtyard of the office trying to get her phone back, lol!!
    I managed to delete it and then gave her some stupid excuse about accidentally sending a booty-call message meant for another girl to her.

    Another funny one. I was completely buggered from a few long days at work and went to the Korean MP next to 1 Blackburn St. After the hot session, I just put on my t-shirt and drove home. Now, I dunno why, that night, everything seemed darker than usual. The room was darker, the streets were darker, darker in my car, etc. So when I got home, only then did I realise I'd put my T-shirt on inside-out!

    Another messaging mishap. I sent a booking message for Lily at 5 star to SS. Got confused with the "star" in the WeChat profile. FMD, Nana never let me live that down for a long time, lol!
    😂 - similar issue, except I came home with underpants inside out

  18. #38
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    Once I was fucking this WL in doggy and all was fine and dandy.

    After a while, I felt the sensation of her pussy change and became more pleasurable and but didn't think too much of it and just continued pounding away. Then I looked down and saw that the base of my shaft is skin-on-skin contact with orifice of her pussy. I slowly pulled out and realised the condom had disappeared and I was fucking bareback for a good couple of minutes. I was startled and I let her know, and then she became startled.

    Then it hit us both - the condom had disappeared into her pussy and because I had been pounding her after the condom slipped off, my penis had pushed it right deep inside her. She tried to get it out but she couldn't.
    So she asked me if I'd please help her try to find it. I obliged, and so I had two of my fingers deep inside her digging around for it while she jumps up and down and shaking her crotch trying shake the thing out. Felt every inch of her vaginal walls and this farce continued a good 10-15 minutes in different positions before I was able to reach deep and finally extricate the dammed thing. I felt like a board-certified gynecologist and gave myself a good pat on the back. Suffice to say, I did not get to finish and so gave my right hand a visit when I got home.

  19. #39
    99 King Member (帝皇會員) GoldfishMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by punther View Post
    Once I was fucking this WL in doggy and all was fine and dandy.

    After a while, I felt the sensation of her pussy change and became more pleasurable and but didn't think too much of it and just continued pounding away. Then I looked down and saw that the base of my shaft is skin-on-skin contact with orifice of her pussy. I slowly pulled out and realised the condom had disappeared and I was fucking bareback for a good couple of minutes. I was startled and I let her know, and then she became startled.

    Then it hit us both - the condom had disappeared into her pussy and because I had been pounding her after the condom slipped off, my penis had pushed it right deep inside her. She tried to get it out but she couldn't.
    So she asked me if I'd please help her try to find it. I obliged, and so I had two of my fingers deep inside her digging around for it while she jumps up and down and shaking her crotch trying shake the thing out. Felt every inch of her vaginal walls and this farce continued a good 10-15 minutes in different positions before I was able to reach deep and finally extricate the dammed thing. I felt like a board-certified gynecologist and gave myself a good pat on the back. Suffice to say, I did not get to finish and so gave my right hand a visit when I got home.
    Hahaha, I can imagine the whole scene. Thanks for sharing bro!

  20. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by punther View Post
    Once I was fucking this WL in doggy and all was fine and dandy.

    After a while, I felt the sensation of her pussy change and became more pleasurable and but didn't think too much of it and just continued pounding away. Then I looked down and saw that the base of my shaft is skin-on-skin contact with orifice of her pussy. I slowly pulled out and realised the condom had disappeared and I was fucking bareback for a good couple of minutes. I was startled and I let her know, and then she became startled.

    Then it hit us both - the condom had disappeared into her pussy and because I had been pounding her after the condom slipped off, my penis had pushed it right deep inside her. She tried to get it out but she couldn't.
    So she asked me if I'd please help her try to find it. I obliged, and so I had two of my fingers deep inside her digging around for it while she jumps up and down and shaking her crotch trying shake the thing out. Felt every inch of her vaginal walls and this farce continued a good 10-15 minutes in different positions before I was able to reach deep and finally extricate the dammed thing. I felt like a board-certified gynecologist and gave myself a good pat on the back. Suffice to say, I did not get to finish and so gave my right hand a visit when I got home.
    ...good thing the rubber didn't slip off during anal

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