Kiki -- worst massage in memory

[Thomas Crown]

Just back from what's got to be the worst massage I've ever had. Part 1, that is.

Part 2 was little better, so I brought the gig to a quick finish so I could just get out of there.

Back on the massage scene after a long absence and I finally get myself to North Strathfield. I live and work in the city.

Kiki was recommended to me -- by whom I thought was the manager, Anna -- as "awesome service". Not this day.

Turns out the recommender is another woman masquerading as Anna and I discover this when I arrive. This is a pet peeve of mine. Note to shop managers/receptionists -- don't pretend to be someone else. Many of us have relationships with you and we need to know if we are talking to you (because you know our tastes, blah, blah and we trust your judgement) or if we are talking to someone else (who knows fuck all about our tastes, blah, blah). That's how great customer service works. Like it does at N5M. Shout out here to Sara and Jacinda.

Anyway, I'd been on WeChat with Anna for about a week on and off about coming to Chill and I finally got the time today...

Kiki walks in.

There is no warmth, no feeling, no happiness. She clearly wants to be somewhere else.

The massage started and Kiki had no idea what she was doing. None. It wasn't even a massage. She was prodding and pushing and pinching. There was no flow or logic or pattern to her movements. Just fast, random, robotic prods. She doesn't ask if I want hard, medium or soft. She doesn't ask if I want oil. One minute she's on my upper back; next the left calf; then the right arm. She's all over the place, prodding and elbowing. She was sitting down on the massage table as often as she could.

I felt like a piece of meat on a slab she was trying to tenderise. I nearly called it off after 10 minutes of this, but I thought it can only get better. It got worse. She hurt me a few times when she was squeezing my neck and she used her elbow to jab my lower back. I'm 186cm and 85 kilos in all the right places and I do not hurt easily.

I let this charade go until Kiki started to use her fingernails to stroke my back and legs in a half-arsed effort to prepare me for part 2 and I told her that I wanted to leave. She insisted I stay for "services", and I would be happy. I said no thanks, but she was adamant I couldn't leave. "Stay for services". She was grabbing me and pushing me to sit down on the bench.

Now -- Kiki is a sexy looking girl with great fake tits. She looks pretty hot this day in a short skirt and low top displaying her assets. She's had work on her face (filler and lips) and I'm guessing she's mid-30s.

What to do?

I ask about the cost of the "services". After some caginess and a few non-answers, she finally says it's $50 for a nude HJ, $100 for B2B and CBJ, and $150 for sex.

"Stay, stay. I give you the best services".

I opt for the $100 option. Big mistake. Everything else from here on is as mechanical and robotic and as sexless as I've experienced. I've had a better time masturbating.

As Kiki is part way through her work, I realise I've made my second mistake of the afternoon so I will myself to come as quickly as possible so I can leave. That takes about 90 seconds.

I reckon Kiki has her fans, but they must be guys who skip part 1 and drive how part 2 goes.

She kept on telling me how many happy customers she has so I hope your milage DOES vary.

I told the manager on the way out it had been a write-off. Louise is her name. She's profusely sorry and she offers to massage me herself for the remaining 25 minutes of my booking, but I decline. She offers me $20 cash back, but I decline. Louise is genuinely sorry.

Perhaps next time Chill, may I ask three things:

(1) Be who you say you are on any WeChat communications.
(2) Put me in a room with a girl who genuinely wants to be there.
(3) Make sure she knows this is the erotic massage business, so that means no going through the motions.

[Labia Vortex]

Kiki is usually sensational
Never had a Dud session with her
Everyone has an off day sometime

[Anna107]

I was very disappointed that you were so disappointed because it was your first time in our shop and we had given you a brief introduction to each of the girls for you to consider before you arrived and we didn't push you to meet Kiki.
It is true that in the end you chose Kiki with our input, but we did so with feedback from other guests.
All I can say is that maybe Kiki wasn't right for you, but whatever it was, it's our fault for making you unhappy.
I can only say that the WeChat you are communicating with is the shop's customer service WeChat, which has only one name, "reception", meaning that every one of our receptions treats customers with the same sincerity and enthusiasm.

[paulpitt69]

Punting sometimes shit happens
Sorry to hear about this

[Bunty4]

Just back from what's got to be the worst massage I've ever had. Part 1, that is.

Part 2 was little better, so I brought the gig to a quick finish so I could just get out of there.

Back on the massage scene after a long absence and I finally get myself to North Strathfield. I live and work in the city.

Kiki was recommended to me -- by whom I thought was the manager, Anna -- as "awesome service". Not this day.

Turns out the recommender is another woman masquerading as Anna and I discover this when I arrive. This is a pet peeve of mine. Note to shop managers/receptionists -- don't pretend to be someone else. Many of us have relationships with you and we need to know if we are talking to you (because you know our tastes, blah, blah and we trust your judgement) or if we are talking to someone else (who knows fuck all about our tastes, blah, blah). That's how great customer service works. Like it does at N5M. Shout out here to Sara and Jacinda.

Anyway, I'd been on WeChat with Anna for about a week on and off about coming to Chill and I finally got the time today...

Kiki walks in.

There is no warmth, no feeling, no happiness. She clearly wants to be somewhere else.

The massage started and Kiki had no idea what she was doing. None. It wasn't even a massage. She was prodding and pushing and pinching. There was no flow or logic or pattern to her movements. Just fast, random, robotic prods. She doesn't ask if I want hard, medium or soft. She doesn't ask if I want oil. One minute she's on my upper back; next the left calf; then the right arm. She's all over the place, prodding and elbowing. She was sitting down on the massage table as often as she could.

I felt like a piece of meat on a slab she was trying to tenderise. I nearly called it off after 10 minutes of this, but I thought it can only get better. It got worse. She hurt me a few times when she was squeezing my neck and she used her elbow to jab my lower back. I'm 186cm and 85 kilos in all the right places and I do not hurt easily.

I let this charade go until Kiki started to use her fingernails to stroke my back and legs in a half-arsed effort to prepare me for part 2 and I told her that I wanted to leave. She insisted I stay for "services", and I would be happy. I said no thanks, but she was adamant I couldn't leave. "Stay for services". She was grabbing me and pushing me to sit down on the bench.

Now -- Kiki is a sexy looking girl with great fake tits. She looks pretty hot this day in a short skirt and low top displaying her assets. She's had work on her face (filler and lips) and I'm guessing she's mid-30s.

What to do?

I ask about the cost of the "services". After some caginess and a few non-answers, she finally says it's $50 for a nude HJ, $100 for B2B and CBJ, and $150 for sex.

"Stay, stay. I give you the best services".

I opt for the $100 option. Big mistake. Everything else from here on is as mechanical and robotic and as sexless as I've experienced. I've had a better time masturbating.

As Kiki is part way through her work, I realise I've made my second mistake of the afternoon so I will myself to come as quickly as possible so I can leave. That takes about 90 seconds.

I reckon Kiki has her fans, but they must be guys who skip part 1 and drive how part 2 goes.

She kept on telling me how many happy customers she has so I hope your milage DOES vary.

I told the manager on the way out it had been a write-off. Louise is her name. She's profusely sorry and she offers to massage me herself for the remaining 25 minutes of my booking, but I decline. She offers me $20 cash back, but I decline. Louise is genuinely sorry.

Perhaps next time Chill, may I ask three things:

(1) Be who you say you are on any WeChat communications.
(2) Put me in a room with a girl who genuinely wants to be there.
(3) Make sure she knows this is the erotic massage business, so that means no going through the motions.

Not seen Kiki here but most firs here are great. Alyssa is fantastic with part 1 and equally good with part2-3. Cindy is great at part 2. Milky fantastic with both part 1 and 2. Helen is great at part 1 and service oriented at part 2-3. Jolie is same.

[Anna107]

Not seen Kiki here but most firs here are great. Alyssa is fantastic with part 1 and equally good with part2-3. Cindy is great at part 2. Milky fantastic with both part 1 and 2. Helen is great at part 1 and service oriented at part 2-3. Jolie is same.

✅Thanks baby for your compliments
We always secure quality girls with quality services for our customers to have unforgettable moments
Please come again😆

[buster]

Kiki is usually sensational
Never had a Dud session with her
Everyone has an off day sometime

So true, especially if she’s been great for other customers. Bummer for the OP though

[Thomas Crown]

Kiki is usually sensational
Never had a Dud session with her
Everyone has an off day sometime

I hear you Mr LV and I agree 100 percent.

I don’t doubt for a minute that this girl has been great for you. For me, she was a waste of travel time from the city.

I never judge a shop by one shit experience. My first visit to Chill crashed and burned with a girl who — on this day with me — was lazy, disinterested, and had no idea how to give an erotic massage.

You just never know what you might get with some girls.