If you want to monger in Asia without your family finding out the real reason for you being there, here are some tips.
1. Stay away from Thailand. It’s impossible to look innocent if you go to Thailand on your own. The whole universe will know you went to Bang-Cock and Phuck-it just to have sex with 18 yo spinners
2. Chose places like Vietnam, Philippines or Cambodia as mongering destinations. They are less suspect (but not completely)
3. Develop a hobby like diving, trekking, cycling or bird watching ( deadly serious). After landing in your country of choice, spend the first day of your trip on your hobby and send back pictures to your family showing how you are immersing yourself. Even if you are allergic to water and don’t know an oxygen tank from a Tim Tam biscuit, you can still send back diving photos. Go to the diving school and pay a few dollars to get kitted out in your wetsuit, weight belt, tank etc just for photo purposes. Then go and take pictures of the beach, dive boat and general scenery. You are now free to monger without actually having to dive. The same applies to cycling, although it would be useful to have some correspondence from the cycling tour group and you would need to have been a cyclist at home.
4. Align your self with a Christian charity or other NGO. I know of guys who align themselves with an orphanage, send them a few hundred dollars and build a relationship. They then tell their families they’re going to project manage school building, help with English, fund raise etc. After landing at their destination they go to the orphanage to make another donation and to take pics with the kids. Then it’s off to the bars.
5. Take a separate mongering phone and don’t mix family calls and hooker calls. Buy a local sim for your hooker calls
6. Always call the missus daily and tell her how much you miss her. Don’t use video on the call and tell her the signal is weak. You don’t want her to see the hooker walking naked in the background
7. Don’t tell anyone at work or your friends where you’re going as they will click sooner than your missus will
8. Pay cash for everything abroad
9. Don’t ever, ever take pictures of the girls you just fucked
10. Delete your dating apps before coming home and don’t ever keep in touch with any of the girls you have met
Fuck me, this reminds me of a scene in an old HK movie about punting called Men Suddenly in Black, where Tony Leung's character has to make a video call to his wife from his office but he's actually punting in a KTV with his bros.
He whips out a stand-up "background" that has a photo of his office on a normal workday printed onto it, and uses that as the background during the video call. Bloody hilarious!
Is MUFF DIVING a respectable recognised past time?
It is , particularly if you do it with a woman..Merry ChristmasOriginally Posted by Axeman123
Fred Flinstone is a legend and the kind of member who shows this forum at its best.
A legend is born from a strength of character, the courage to speak their mind and above all call it like it is. HAIL FRED!!
38 yrs punting experience showing through Fred, although I'm amazed at the level of subterfuge you go to!
Assume from yr previous rules you do these trips alone (?) which must create some suspicion in itself ...no?
Back in the day I had a natural reason to visit all those countries catching up with our local offices .....and I'd just extend a day or 2 for some fun.
My wife at time did have a disconcerting habit of flying in to surprise me but would usually arrive pre dinner.
At other times I used to call her at home about 9pm before heading out. One time though I had just walked into my room with a WL abt 11pm and stupidly answered a call from my wife only to have the WL yell out: " babee, is it okay if I open the wine from fridge?"
Some calm clever footwork was required!
Sensible advice. Hard to disagree. Bit iffy on the orphanage subtext there, but I must have read that wrong.
If you are in the area generally though and just want a 3 day indulgence simply fly to Jakarta, book a dirt-cheap 5-star room in an international hotel atop any major mall/shopping centre. Around 11:OO AM put on some nice casual smarty duds and circle the mall leisurely returning the smile of every lady who looks at you (because every lady who’s eye you catch will smile at you), strike up a conversation, 70/30 chance you’ll be upstairs fucking her within an hour if you’ve sensibly presented yourself and not been overly ambitious.
If you can’t get 4 fucks in a day each day this way without even leaving the building you’re not trying. If you’re buff, handsome and under about 30/35 the worse you’ll get hit for is a bit of taxi money since she’s really a moonlighting secretary,sales assistant, curious wagging schoolgirl. If you’re a fat old lecherous fuck you’ll still get her probably but it’ll be purely business - starting with an ambit claim of USD 100 (which you should promise to consider and work out together the finer specifics as you send your way together back to your room. If not hastily agreed beforehand, the in-room floor price can be gob-smackingly absurd. And you shouldn’t be such a miserly bastard. Well, at least not 4 times per day.
Jakarta has all the fun of Bangkok, but it’s politely ignored, as little out of view, and nobody assumes that that’s why you are there.
And if that get’s tedious. Get Tinder premium or whatever it’s called and just swipe everything right. You’ll get 4 just for fun in your own demographic or 4 moonlighjters if you’re over-estimating your charm just as easily.
NOTE: do not try this anywhere in Indonesia outside a 5 star hotel in the Jakarta CBD. The hotels maybe AUD80-100 a night or better if you’re lucky
The orphanage subterfuge can only work if you are pious in your non mongering life and already do charitable work. It takes time to build the back story. Agree that it’s iffy and the kiddy fiddler connotation is not good. But plenty do this in the Philippines and an Aussie guy in Angeles told me how he does it.
I know a dentist that travels to Asia each year to fix poor peoples’ teeth for free for two weeks. He runs the clinic in the village from 8.00 - 1.00, then he’s “off to the races”. His wife doesn’t suspect a thing.
I stick to diving and the missus has no problem in me disappearing for 10 days on my own. She thinks I’m completely disinterested in sex since I never fuck her. I also don’t smoke, drink, watch porn, go out at night or gamble so she thinks I’m a benign creature. You’d think with all the diving, I’d be a dive master instructor by now. The truth is I don’t even have the basic PADI.
Your Jakarta adventures are gold. Quasimodo can get laid there within 5 minutes of landing at Soekarno-Hatta. That shopping mall cruise will also work in Surabaya, which used to be the mongering capital of Indonesia- until they shut down Dolly. In smaller places like Bandung, Balikpapan, Yogyakarta and Medan, just tell the room boy or security guard what you need. They will bring you girls to your door. In Bandung I had a five girl line up brought to my hotel room. It might be a Muslim country but everyone is in on it and there’s nothing that money can’t fix
WeChat will go crazy in the large Indonesian cities and Tinder, Twitter and Bumble will work very well. Just swipe right to everything. Girls will drop their panties within 30 minutes of matching - depending on trappic. To use Twitter to pick up, you will need to know some basic Indonesian and co-joined words, but that’s not hard.
That seems to me to be impossible to explain away because
1) She couldn't be hotel staff because
a) she wouldn't be opening up wine from your room's fridge
and
b) calling you babee while opening it
at
c) 11pm at night in your room
and
2) Well, there is no 2) because a), b) and c) just about cover it.
Wasnt easy Z and remains one of my closest calls to date.That seems to me to be impossible to explain away because
1) She couldn't be hotel staff because
a) she wouldn't be opening up wine from your room's fridge
and
b) calling you babee while opening it
at
c) 11pm at night in your room
and
2) Well, there is no 2) because a), b) and c) just about cover it.
The call came to my mobile and my wife didn't hear exactly what the WL had said, just that someone had spoken and said something nearby me.
She said "whose that, is that some woman?"
I said " Hi darling ...what ...oh, that's just a barmaid saying something to some customer... I've just got back to the hotel after dinner and dropped into the lobby bar for a nightcap .....how's your day been? Are you still flying down here on Friday?"
The secret was to be casual and relaxed in my reply.
The luck was my wife didn't hear what the WL had said and the WL had the sense to keep quiet after.
That is sad as fuck.
Yep. If this doesn't put a mongering bro off marriage, nothing would.
Fred has mastered artform duplicity!
No mate, I think he got himself hitched with a hell of a controlling wife. If I were him I'd ditch the wife, bite the bullet and then enjoy life.
Fark me, for someone to go through all that trouble just to get some paid pussy, WTF... If you know you're a mongerer by nature, you need to either have a "compliant" partner, or have no partner at all.
Man, phew... The big thing here was thinking of something so quickly, hesitation would have been fatal. She was already asking - Is that some woman?!
Absolutely.Man, phew... The big thing here was thinking of something so quickly, hesitation would have been fatal. She was already asking - Is that some woman?!
At the time I was living in the hotel and quite often used to drop into the bar of a night on arriving back ....it was something I did, but I was lucky to think and get it out of my mouth without sounding stressed and at the same time waving furiously at the WL who was 3 meters away.
During this phase I was travelling regularly around most Asian cities and I think my wife held an unsaid suspicion.....
Oh man. Thank you for jogging my memory. Surabaya. Road tour with HD Club of Indonesia from Jakarta to Bali , back in the day. Some anonymous hotel nightclub In Surabaya serving only formaldehide-based Arak cocktails and TeenMonger (as he was back then) was incoherent, losing vision in both eyes due to the industrial chemicals he’d been drinking all night + the Viagra and possible MDMA people were all quaffing like candy, and was still somehow in a tag-team at 2 AM in a suite with a 3 star ABRI General and 5 naked (18’ish ladies) who were panicking endlessly all night about how fast the general was turning them over without ‘ganti kondom dulu Pak’. I think he only had one. Maybe only one between us. I didn’t make it to Bali.
It’s memories like that seriously discourage spending anymore money in Sydney. I mean there’s punting…and then there’s Punting Mate!
EDIT: Also Yogya actually has two legitimate quasi-legal “executive brothels” that are wortel visiting for shits and giggles. Then are on the Northern Ring Road. 10-12 girls (must legally be divorced or widowed) in a fishbowl type thing where you pick ‘em by number from behind the glass. And it’s about US$100 per hour for a good massage and a 1 shot fuck. And you are still expected to tip. It’s unfathomable but kind of addictive at least once each trip to Yogya.
But Yogya also has 17 universities full of away-from-home-first-time undergraduate ladies keen to defy the patriarchy…
I've had 3 or 4 trips to Jakarta for business and never knew this - I'm gutted! I wish I had known this, and it has given me some ideas about organising another trip.....
The client i was visiting was a reasonably devout Muslim, but it didn't stop him having a sneaky pinot in a private dining room, or sending me off to a Delta Club for a "health massage" guided by one of his minions . Turns it out it was my first ever RnT, still remember how good it was, and it put me on the path to this place.
I really do need some work trips to Asia now I have so much more intel, pre Covid I knew sweet FA, to think ot the many opportunities I missed
There are many options - but least degree of difficulty for new player is combination of Grand Hyatt Hotel & adjoining Plaza Indonesia. Not cheapest though. But should pass muster on most corporate travel plans. If you can cross 6 lanes of Indonesian traffic though the Hotel Mandarin across is much cooler but walking those outside the aircon and through that traffic probably not worth the trouble.
The in-house massage services in most hotels almost insist you get the Tug - but plenty will also happily pussy slide you straight into 3rd world BBFS before you realise. Especially at the Artotel up the road. Getting a wet dick is a lot easier than getting a pathology in Jakarta.
Piety is kind of a fashion trend in Indonesia in many places. Or a job requirement if you work for anything funded by the billions of Riyals funding all the hospitals, schools, universities etc etc.
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