G'day, punters. I've got a story to share with a WL, but I'm not sure how it'll end. Can't really talk about it with me mates or family, so posting it anonymously here seems like me only shot.
So, here's how it all started…
I was breaking up with me ex last year and found myself at a suburban shop pretty often. There was this sheila I saw a couple of times, and I started getting a bit keen on her. On me fourth visit, I brought her a "decent" pressie (not designer brands or anything, haha), just stuff she mentioned she liked. I asked for her WeChat, and she gave me her personal one, saying something like, "we can stay in touch if I don't work here anymore." I thought she probably wanted to turn me into a long-term customer since I seemed like a nice guy.
We started having chats on WeChat, nothing big, no sales pitch, just chit-chatting. Sometimes she'd send pics of the food she cooked and etc. One day, I thought, why not ask this WL on a date? Truth be told, I started punting in high school but always stuck to the "root and scoot" rule. Never thought about asking a WL out. My ex always thought I had a girlfriend somewhere, but really, I just liked reading the "After Report" posts and having a bit of fun, eh?
I asked if she'd spend a day with me, and she said yes without hesitating. I booked a nice place, and we had a good time with food and wine. To me surprise, she didn't wear makeup. She later said that wearing makeup made her feel like she was at work. I learned about her background, situation, and all that. She had serious financial and family problems, which I reckon is why most WLs choose this line of work. On the way back, she said, "lots of blokes have asked me out, I never said yes, but I did when you asked." A sales pitch? I asked myself.
We kept chatting on WeChat. One day, she asked for help with something involving money. I said, "sure" without thinking twice. Not sure why, but I guess I already had feelings for her, and I could afford it. She joked, "are you worried I might do a runner?" and I replied, "I reckon you're worth more than that."
She's not one of those top-notch girls you'd usually see in the After Report section, but her body and personality are right up my alley. To earn more $$, she had to work longer hours and more shifts (sometimes 12-hour shifts for three weeks without a break). I could see the job was taking a toll on her, both physically and mentally. Eventually, she'd had enough and decided to take a break. She asked me to find a good place for her, so I booked one about 200km from where I live. She seemed stoked, sending heaps of photos and videos. We started having video calls at night. But then, she got caught up in some serious family drama again. She asked if I could come over for dinner. Me ex was still living with me and was about to move out. The breakup had already cost me an apartment, and I wanted it to be peaceful, so I said no. She video called me again a few hours later and asked if I'd come over, or else she'd accept a booking from a customer. I felt a bit pressured and said no again.
Things changed a bit after she came back. We didn't talk much for a while. One day, she video called me, asking for help and bursting into tears. I managed to sort her problem out in a few days. Similar drama happened again in a few weeks, and I quickly took care of it for her. She was really grateful for me having her back. We started going on dates again, and I eventually plucked up the courage to invite her to my place. She's been over quite a few times now. We had a root once at my place, but I'm not sure if it was her way of saying thanks or if she actually enjoyed it. Again I never asked for sex out of respect in those occasions when we spent time together. I also stopped visiting her in the shop.
Me next plan is to take her on a short trip, and she seems ok with it. Me feelings for her grow every day, but I know she's not in a position (work, finances, family, etc.) to have a proper relationship. I asked her once about her future plans. She said "she likes Australia but isn't sure what's next. Even though she's ashamed of what she's doing now, it's her only shot at sorting out her money problems and putting some savings away since she's already over 30."
I want to make a move on her, but I'm not sure what to do next. I don't think we have trust issues; we've known each other for nine months now. We don't have money problems, and WLs rarely send photos, make video calls or visit a bloke's place outside of work. If they do, it means trust—at least that's how I see it. But I don't want to push too hard and scare her off. Right now, she doesn't seem keen on a relationship either. I've read heaps of stories about WLs and guys over the past couple of decades. Most of these tales don't end well, and the moral is not to cross lines, but I reckon we've already crossed a few here. I remember a punter saying something like, to bail out a WL, give her the money or give her the visa. I'm not loaded enough to cover the money part, and I doubt she'd accept it if I had that kind of cash because she seems determined to sort things out herself.
Sorry if me writing's a bit dull, but you can't expect Fifty Shades of Grey here, haha. I'll keep the story going if time allows. All comments are welcome, but please be gentle.
Happy punting on the weekend, punters!
You fucked up three times here.
First was buying her a gift to win her over.
Second was helping her out with her financial situations.
Third is getting involved with her with point 2.
This is going to end bad.
Don't get involved with a WL if she doesn't like you for you. The moment money is asked from me, I ghost her.
another one, good on you mate. I am sure you will get lots of sympathies from fellow punters here.
But my advice is don't give them money... just encourages these kind of behaviors.
Run away. I speak from experience, more than once. Run away
yup I know money is kinda sensitive here.Originally Posted by JJBlows
She paid me back fairly quickly and did not owe me anything as of now.
Whatever you choose I hope it works out for you Ninja. I reckon I’m in a similar boat to you but am leaning the other way with wanted it to go further. I think we are both more comfortable keeping it transactional but each to their own.
Thank you!
I don't know why she asked me for help in the first place. To be fair, the dramas she got herself into were pretty bad and complicated (not all of them are money related though)
I don't have loads of money to throw away and she is fully aware of it.
My one and only similiar experience 10+ years ago resulted in a 18mth disaster.
Good luck...
Ninja, I know you want to keep your anonymity and that of the WL as well, but can I ask the ethnicity of the WL?
Don’t think you’re the only one in this situation. Many punters here are probably going through something similar and don’t be fooled you aren’t special or the “knight in shining armour” saving these WL (whether they like to admit it or not).
How soon will she move onto the next punter once you stop helping her out of the next drama/situation? Try not bailing her out the next time or two, and report back to us.
Also, WL “private” WeChat is not their personal account… more an account for regulars.
Keep us updated, stories like these not only entertain but help other punters going through the same dilemmas.
Wish you all the best!
Your reaction to the WL is a reflection of the problem that you should've resolved after breaking with your ex.
First of all, the gift giving. It may have been a core family issue where you or someone elder than you "resolved" conflicts by giving gifts. Because gifts somehow makes the person validate you - the more expensive, the more validation you get.
Proper reaction: if you act disinterested or only interested in a person's services rather than the person as a whole, they're much more likely to validate you to keep your attention towards them. If they don't then it means that they have ZERO interest in you at the start - your gift giving enables the greed within them.
Helping out with her financial situation - she knows your weakness and is exploiting it. Your initial gift giving habits gave her an indication that you can be easily manipulated, therefore the only bait she had to wiggle in front of you is her 'financial vulnerability'.
Proper reaction: Once she talks about her financial problems, ignore her or just tell her that you're sorry but there's nothing you can do to help her as a friend. It's a different issue if you guys are already hitched and ready to commit to making babies at anytime.
Your intuition is right - she's not keen for a relationship and is only taking you on a roller coaster ride to gratify her ego. She's like a narcissistic boss who makes you work super hard and do unpaid overtime but can't promise you any promotion. She's feeding on the fact that you're interested in starting a relationship with her.
What is happening to you is probably karma. Karma ripens and manifests when we are in denial of our own situation. Karma is not right or wrong, just either pleasant or unpleasant. If it is unpleasant for you (which it obviously is) then I suggest apologizing to your ex for breaking up with her even if you guys no longer want to get back together. It doesn't matter who's fault it is, that is how you get rid of certain karmas in life.
Also, you have to stop contacting this WL. If you don't, she will continue taking you on a roller coaster ride. If you really want to fall in love with a WL them I suggest looking for another younger, more good looking WL than that bitch. Good luck!
Well, @SuperNinja, I can save you thousands in psychologist fees and tell you that your attachment to this woman is a result of "rebound" effect when your personal relationship with your ex partner/girlfriend broke up. It is a rebound situation, and it just happen to be with a WL.
"A rebound relationship is a relationship we enter right after or soon after our breakup to suppress or escape our pain and feel less lonely or to make our ex jealous, get revenge, and prove to them how much better off we are without them." Link: https://maxjancar.com/stages-of-a-rebound-relationship/
The second comment is you have failed to discuss with her what type or relationship or arrangement you are now having. It is a 'friends with benefits', or is it a totally professional one (you pay $$ and she lets you fuck her), or is it a boyfriend/girlfriend.. In all relationships, a discussion about "what do you see our thing is going?" has to be asked.
-- 99% of Rebound relationships fail. Deep down you are lonely. No amount of sex will fix this.
-- 99% of relationships fail when the two parties do not openly discuss where they stand with each others.
It's time you deleted her WeChat connection. Go cold turkey. Go get laid at other places. You cannot afford the mental, emotional and financial anguish that is coming your way, especially when your ex cleaned you up (you lost an apartment already). You really need an immediate Ctl-Alt-Del (how computers are restarted)...
"Stone the crows, a bloody sheila", our creative writer is now a scriptwriter for "Alf from Home and Away"BS...It's always the same, brand new member wanting advice with a long detailed post and most never to be heard of again, another username from the same "Queen Bee". it's like an advice column from Women's Weekly.............
Im not exactly sure your situation here but was in a somewhat similar position. i highly doubt you are not the only dude shes doing this to. Dont fall for that exclusivity bs and wl crocodile tears.
Thank you for reminding me this.
The WeChat account is definitely her private account as she did post photos about herself and family members there. I don't think a WL would like you to share her photos with others, then end up circulating on the internet. Also the wechat account name contains her personal information, which a WL definitely does not want her customers to know.
I don't think I can play hero here as there is no way I can bail her out. Her money issue is far more than what I could afford (we are both aware of this). I am definitely not special as I know she has seen some other nice, polite and richer customers, some of them spent far more money on her.
If you ask me not to help her on the next "drama", eh.....it is just not me haha.
Will try my best to keep the story going.
@SuperNinja, since you mentioned both of you're using wechat, I assume you two are both Chinese, let me give you some advice as your "fellow countryman" lol
You are dealing with two issues here:
1. If she is a scammer trying to take advantage of you
2. If you can have a proper relationship with her
To solve issue 1: it is like a credit assessment, you need to look into various factors like: how much you know her (scammers trying to hide her true identity); how often she asked financial assistance from you; how big the amount was; how quickly she repaid; what is behind her drama (if she is gambling, you are fucked)? I know readers have been very skeptical so far. Just clear your mind and assess above-mentioned factors objectively. Based on your narrative, if she is ok with sharing photos and making video calls, she is less likely to rip you off IMHO. Coz you can retaliate by posting her photos on internet, she will be doomed.
Also it is totally fine for her to expect something from you. Just remember a 30+ woman does not date you like girls in high school or uni. She is definitely looking for something, and I would do the same if putting myself into her shoes
For issue 2: we all know that a relationship involves both sides, if you two don't have too much intimacy when you spent time together, it could be an indication that she is not ready. You mentioned you two did have something in your place and you are not sure if she enjoyed it. This could be an indication too. I am not saying you two won't be together eventually, just a fair assessment based on your narrative.
Also for a 30+ woman, you should not expect too much "love" from her. After going through so many things (like being pumped by 10+ people every day), what she wants might be just having someone whom she can live a normal life with.
The OP mentioned she had financial and family problems. Has she got kids back in her country or a husband or partner still lingering in her life? She's not interested in a serious relationship. One time she asked the OP to come over or if not, she'd take a customer booking.
The signs are telling you to get the hell out of this mess that will entangle you further. It will make you worry more about her whenever she calls or needs your help. What's worse with many is that once they get what they want they'll dump you and move on with their lives. It's rare for these cases to end happily and live together forever. Best find someone outside the industry.
Let's hope sanity will prevail.
I heard "successful marriages" between Chinese WLs and an Australian man and a Korean man.
But I won't do it no matter how young and beautiful or hot is the WL. Just seeing her coming out of a room with a man before me and going into another room with another man after me is enough to F up my mind big time.
A popular WL waxed lyrical to me about how talented and handsome her "boyfriend" was. He was her former client. They have been going out for 2/3 years but the boyfriend never brings her back to see his parents. I think she is living in dreamland and the boyfriend is having free sex. Worse case scenario the boyfriend has a family of his own.
I've been there and done that many years ago. WL broke my heart and my wallet and I'm still paying for it to this day as it set me back a lot, both financially and emotionally.
My advice is the same as others - don't do it. But I have a feeling you won't listen and you'll get burnt in order to learn your lesson.
Dating a WL never ends well, especially if it involves money.
[QUOTE=faruk;2654596]I've been there and done that many years ago. WL broke my heart and my wallet and I'm still paying for it to this day as it set me back a lot, both financially and emotionally.
My advice is the same as others - don't do it. But I have a feeling you won't listen and you'll get burnt in order to learn your lesson.
Dating a WL never ends well, especially if it involves money.
[Post Edited]
Thanks for sharing
I believe there are many many punters out there are in similar position.
My advice not to get yourself in this situation in the 1st place is.
Don't listen to WL stories about her private lives, this with activate your "White Knight" mode.
Don't by gifts
Don't fall in love with her
Don't be a regular, otherwise your feelings will develop overtime.
Treat punting as a business deal.
I have broken all off my don't s and now paying the price.
I am mentally/emotionally fuck up, and trying to get thru this atm.
TBH i NEVER thought i would fall for a WL.
Punting is an escape for me from daily life.
i have a strong will and mind, i know where to draw the line. But some how this one is different.
i believe that if you keep punting ,eventually one day you will find a WL that you connect with. This will happen to everyone.(for those who says no.. she might not be born yet.lol)
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