Some blokes' reactions are expected, and I really appreciate all the feedback.
One bro asked about her ethnicity; I reckon it's not hard to guess. I can also say we're from the same place (same state, not the same city though).
A fair few people are nattering about money and potential fraud risks here. This is how I see it.
1. She hardly ever asked for financial help, and the only time she did, it was due to something I can't elaborate here. But it's not because she was gambling or doing anything dodgy. She genuinely worked her guts out to pay it back. I could see how keen she was to get the debt sorted asap.
2. She's a low-maintenance girl. She made it clear to me that she's not interested in designer brands, luxury bags, and all that shits. My first pressie for her was a $60 "Attack on Titan" figurine I got from Hobbyco, and the most expensive thing I bought for her was a pair of Adidas sneakers for her birthday. Money-wise, she's as clean as a whistle. When I booked the place for her short break, I tested her by saying it was a gift, but she insisted on paying me back. She also chipped in when we went out. Again she never encouraged me to visit her or booked her overnight. I actually stopped visiting her in the shop. Sometimes, I know she’s flat out and offered to buy her takeaways, she said:” I can handle it myself, no need to waste money on this.” If she wanted to fake her non-materialistic persona, it'd be bloody hard to consistently act like this for 9 months.
3. I know heaps of her personal info. For starters, she gave me way too much personal information when we started getting to know each other. Since I have connections back home, it's not hard for me to dig into her details to verify if her stories are true. That's why I believe the WeChat account she gave me is her private one because her "WeChat moment" and "account ID" have personal stuff you wouldn't want to share with a customer, no matter how "regular" they are. I also confronted her (in a polite way) about some family things she hadn't told me, and she didn't deny it. So I reckon I've done my homework and know everything I need to know about her. This isn't some Aussie bloke hooking up with a Thai girl situation (nothing racial here). I've stopped digging because the purpose was just to screen her, and I have no interest in snooping around someone's private life. Besides, it's in a WL’s best interest not to muck around with someone who knows who she is and has photos and videos of her. The consequences could be dire. I reckon this is basic 101 for this line of work.
4. She's tough and independent, and she knows what she's doing. She once said, "You can't rely on other people to tackle the issues in your life." There was one time she asked me, "Do you think I'm a write-off?", and I hesitated for a moment. She said, "I don't want you to pity me!" I replied, "To me, you're an interesting girl. Once you sort your problems out, just ditch the unpleasant memories and leave them behind." She said, "Yeah, that's what I want, treat me like a girl, not a prostitute." Speaking of manipulation, we had an interesting conversation about it. She told me that it's pretty tough to be fucked more than 10 times a day and 20 days in a row. So, observing how her customers behave and manipulating their feelings is a kind of "special painkiller" that can ease her feelings. I asked, "Are you manipulating me too?", and she said, "I think sometimes we all bring our work habits to our personal lives." We both had a good laugh about it. C'mon, we're all humans, and we all manipulate people to some extent, whether it's at work or home.
5. I don't reckon I'm anything special, and I'm not gonna play hero here. This WL has to deal with her own dramas, and I'm not in any position to bail her out. Of course, her money problems are far beyond what I could afford. Sometimes I wish money was the only issue she faces. Cash can solve a lot of hassles, but not all problems are related to money. Also, I know she's had some decent clients, and some of them spent way more dough on her, so I'm definitely not one of her high-net-worth customers.
6. Look, I fully understand that a 30-something woman in this line of work isn't going to go out with me like I dated other sheilas in my 20s. She's expecting something from me, and I'm fine with that. This is how I see it: If she wants money from me, she needs to do a lot better than what she's doing now. If she's a grand strategist planning a big scam on some well-off bloke, I'm definitely the wrong target 'cause we know each other's net worth and earning potential pretty well.
Based on my observations, the money fraud risk is very low, and this is actually the least of my concerns now.
Well, If she wants to move on with a new life back home eventually, or she finds someone can provide her better support, I will respect her decision. It would take an emotional toll on me for sure, but we all bear the consequences of our actions.
How can you be so sure that all personal infor she gave you is genuine? I mean she could use her cousin’s name, DoB etc. Did you ever see her driver license or passport?
Respectfully my man. Here's how it sounds to me.
1. You used to have a transactional relationship where you paid to be laid and it made you happy.
2. You now have a transactional relationship where you pay to solve her problems and she lays you just enough to keep you on the hook. This doesn't make you happy and you feel that you deserve more and have done more than in your previous transactional relationship.
The other brothers have articulated good advice. There is no long term upside for you here. Sure you can be empathetic, sure you can sympathise and you can certainly help if you feel the desire. But don't think there is a situation where the white knight doesn't get burned.
I've added a few WLs on WeChat before. Mostly just to keep in touch when they move. Maybe get lucky outside of brothels. As soon as money is mentioned without any sex, it's a instant block.
I remember one WL who I added on WeChat after seeing her private (she was charging $500 an hour but it was worth it). One day she asked for help and needed money. Instant block. Don't be a simp. Very easy for them to make money with their bodies. They're after suckers, not white knights. Therefore you're not her saviour, you're her sucker.
I mean instant red flag was her threatening you with inviting another customer over if you didn't go visit her lol. It means you're not the only one she's seeing.
How about addressing the issues with your ex and putting your efforts there and building something real. If you want to that is.
The reason is see WLs is simply because they are WLs. Nothing more than that, never trusted them and would never do.
Thanks for sharing. My unsolicited advise: leave while you can.
Keep it strictly transactional. Don't fall for the trap.
All these forum experts giving advice to another BS thread, hilarious......
You are a fool and you are not going to listen to anyone’s advice here. It’s always “but this one is different”. They never are.
You will only learn after she has completely sucked your bank account dry, and then deserted you for an even bigger fool. You will look and feel like a total rolled-gold idiot.
Any dickhead who tries to date a WL/ML deserves no sympathy.