Be carefully what you wish for. The idea of bagging a hot as fuck WL is great in the beginning until you wake up in the morning with her cuddling you and then moaning about having to get up and go to work where other punters write great AR's about her that day. I did it with a popular WL and then reality sets in that it's not going to work and I got out early.
I’m going through exactly the same thing.
It’s like we are reliving a “first love infatuation”.
I’m older and should be far wiser but still I get emotionally attached. I call it a fools folly. Doesn’t matter how many girls I bang there is only one love and she doesn’t want to know the real me.
Except when we share a booking. Then it’s business as usual and I get to live my fantasy for that hour or two.
Either they’re master manipulators or we are fools in love chasing a butterfly that flits between flowers.
Sooner or they later they must realise that they cannot live this lifestyle forever.
But when?
Do you want to wait that long?
Practicing and realising the clear light of bliss taught me many things, hence the reason it's called the "Union of No More Learning" - we all have unlimited, unconditional love and compassion within us for all beings. If they don't accept our love, we can still love them silently. We can be a beacon where they can rely on us when they come to realisation.
If the Buddha took 3 aeons of countless lifetimes to become enlightened, so can I.
sorry to hear. I hope you are doing okay. If anything, time will probably clear/heal everything up. Sometimes we just live in the moment, but time passes and we can take a step back to look at the situation clearer. That might help mentally. Plus, we can try to think of it as a learning opportunity.
Cheers.
A man can only wait so long.