A warning, got ripped off at 127 Regent St, early morning, 12 December

Partly my own fault for believing a papasan’s guarantee. Chris had sent me some photos on WeChat of new Japanese beauty: Miko, saying she’d do everything.

Tiny, cute and genuinely young Japanese, thought I’d struck gold. Got out of bed to rush down to 127 Regent Street. Money demanded up front, unseen, a bad sign. Should have been more wary, but when the testosterone is circulating… Miko comes down and the photos matched. Told to wait 10 minutes while she readied herself.

20 minutes ticked by until Chris took me upstairs. Another 10 minute wait outside the door while Chris talks to Miko. Finally ushered in. Warm welcome and shy smiles. Good English, I ask her what she does in Tokyo: “same job, I’m a lady of the night.” The excitement level peaks as she motions toward the shower.

This is when things started south. Began with complaints about how the plumbing in Australia is inferior to Japan. Yeah, ok. Cupped her small breasts…told not allowed. Hand to waxed pussy not allowed either. Towelled myself down and onto bed. Cold fish, no interaction. No kissing. Tried lower down, legs closed around my ears. Had been told shes does good with BBBJ. No, doesnt do. Ok, what about sex? She fires back: “how much you pay downstairs?” “$320 for diamond service,” I reply. “Too cheap, give me another $300.” At this point i realised I’d been played for a fool. Miko’s coquettish geisha face had hardened into that of a street hustler.

Didn’t see the point of trying to save the situation. Realised I’d wasted my $320. Dressed and told Chris what had happened. It was all my fault, apparently, because she’s tired. Won’t be gracing this establishment ever again.