I'm back with another stupid "falling" for a girl story - but this time not with a ML/WL.

I recently ventured into the sugar baby realm and I met this Japanese girl - shes 20, beautiful (literally a 10/10 in my books) and is really interesting. Shes into the clubbing scene and raves but a big weed user.

I have been seeing her for the past 2-3 months and it's been great - besides me catching feels...again. The way she looks at me, the way we kissed, it was like I was making love to her instead of fucking - it felt real? It felt too good.

We talked about our feelings, well mine. She seemed to avoid it a bit and ultimately said she is crap at relationships and wasn't after anything serious (I'm kinda the same). To be honest, I just wanted to spend more time with her and get to know her more. She mentioned she likes me but wants to just keep in the room. She mentioned i'm the only guy paying for her (not sure If I believe that) but she has a few sexual partners. We have been doing it unprotected (another attribution to my feelings) but found out shes been doing it with 3-4 other guys too which kinda drove my head into overdrive.

I find myself watching her Instagram stories constantly and whenever she live streams on TikTok.

Essentially now my feelings are just wrecking my brain and im not sure what to do. I want to keep seeing her because the sex is amazing but the emotional damage is real. Thoughts?