Another stupid falling for a girl story - advice?

[CharlieM]

My job is a specialist service. You could say I'm a tradesperson but prefer to be known as an artisan in a specialised field. Its all I've known since a boy and am fortunate in that I get immense satisfaction from my work and from my clients. But at the end of the day I need to be paid for my work.

You get where i'm coming from. Over the past 18 months of serious punting have been thanked by numerous WLs for giving as good as I got. Over 30 of them and only one of them refused money when seeing her in private once and I insisted she take the money and that was the last time I saw her.

Maybe you should ask her if she is keen to see you without you paying a cent and hence your reply to this dilemma

[Lonely]

Sounds like you're already in too deep. At this point in time no amount of well meaning advice will work.

Just ride it until the heartbreak comes (and it definitely will) ... When it does, you will have a few sleepless nights and days trying hard not to mope around and being pissed off with yourself for not being able to function ... part and parcel of the party unfortunately

After a few days/weeks you'll think about contacting her because you've convinced yourself that youve got the feels contained and under control and will be able to see her again just for the sex.

This is the first real opportunity to stop. Come back and read all the responses here and other "falling for ml/wl" threads. Take a trip to Ginza C or E or a few sessions with any pretty wl/ml tbh.

Don't look back.

[frisson]

You lost me when you started with
"I recently ventured into the sugar baby realm"

This is code for "I have unprotected sex with a lady who has unprotected sex with many guys"

This sugar baby trend and OnlyFans trend of unwittingly putting women on pedestals has to stop. Woman are goddesses don't get me wrong, but men need to keep their heads screwed on instead of losing them like beta males do

Answer to your question depends on how emotionally mature you are. Women in this "realm" are there to be paid and to be f_cked, and part of the deal is you share other other guys juices and disease for the higher price

This won't end well if you overread the situation. She is not there to be your soulmate. In that line of work, she has no need to commit to a man. Her soul is in a vault, she doesn't need a relationship. Her main focus is fun and to be paid well. Move away from sugar babies if you too can't lock your heart in a vault. This is basic 101 punting bro. Wake up

Get an STI test as well

[HamishAM]

You lost me when you started with
"I recently ventured into the sugar baby realm"

This is code for "I have unprotected sex with a lady who has unprotected sex with many guys"

This sugar baby trend and OnlyFans trend of unwittingly putting women on pedestals has to stop. Woman are goddesses don't get me wrong, but men need to keep their heads screwed on instead of losing them like beta males do

Answer to your question depends on how emotionally mature you are. Women in this "realm" are there to be paid and to be f_cked, and part of the deal is you share other other guys juices and disease for the higher price

This won't end well if you overread the situation. She is not there to be your soulmate. In that line of work, she has no need to commit to a man. Her soul is in a vault, she doesn't need a relationship. Her main focus is fun and to be paid well. Move away from sugar babies if you too can't lock your heart in a vault. This is basic 101 punting bro. Wake up

Get an STI test as well

Appreciate the honesty and directness. You're right.

Ima get that test.

[begov94]

Psychologically our tendencies is to project our own ideals onto others subconsciously. What we like in others is what we "think" is the right kind of person. Most of the time we're looking for a partner who's as toxic and emotionally abandoning like our own mothers.

A friend of mine can't get enough of Japanese girls and won't date girls of other ethnicities. When I asked why, he mentioned that Japanese girls have "mysterious" personalities. Turns out it's the emotional abandonment type that he's drawn into. Some of my Japanese exes were like that, I was quick to discard them as soon as they show their sour side. Like some bros here have pointed, some J girls can disappear without saying goodbye because they're good at emotional abandonment. They don't initiate "breakups" just because it is their culture to be polite and not cause fights.

This J girl you mention, she's out with you mostly because she knows that you're harmless and won't take advantage of her. At the same time she feels lonely but doesn't want a relationship. Not many J girls are prepared to have relationships with non-Japanese men, the cultural differences are too wide and parents may not approve foreign partners. Also J girls are likely to settle with foreigners only if they are non-confrontational and good at keeping the harmony.

I had seen a Japanese WL outside of her work before, years ago. We went shopping together, had dinner and spent time at her home. We'd lie on the sofa together, hugging but no sex or kissing. She only allowed it during her work not on her day off. And she specifically told me we are not in a relationship - at least "not yet". All kinds of mixed messages came from her so I decided to stop seeing her one day, and told her that I'm only going to see her again if she agrees to make our relationship official. She tells me that she can't do both relationship and WL work at the same time so that's the end of us.

Funny thing you mentioned her giving you "more and more while paying less and less". If she works in a shop then it seems that she might be giving you diamond service at standard price or she's running her own private gig. Or this might be a fantasy fiction. Anyways, can't care less if this story is fiction or real because mine wasn't. And I wouldn't waste time chasing any girl's attention or pussy because how I met my current partner taught me a lot about relationships I missed out in the past few decades - if she likes you, she treats you very well, fucks you really good and says yes immediately after asking her to be your girlfriend - she's a keeper!

I've been dating too many time wasters and I should've known better in the past decades.

Now I know why this thread was started. And I know now who started it other than the obvious username (some people are really good at digging up the past).

I have to admit, I had wrong views in the past. I had no father figure to teach me how to look for a wife - I was told to "figure it out myself". Every relationship I realised that I was easily duped, only because I was trying to avoid becoming like my own father. I didn't want to go through a life of multiple marriages and divorces myself like my father did. Unfortunately I went through my first divorce in early 2019 and luckily no kids involved.

The time I posted the quoted comment I was actually dating a WL, one who was previously quite popular. She accepted my proposal to be her gf almost immediately - I was so happy at that time. She even asked me if I wanted kids. I kept seeing her for more than a year. The dealbreaker was that she purposely forgotten about my birthday which was a traumatic event for me. She didn't even offer any apologies or try to calm me down. I walk out on her.

Weeks after that I saw an opportunity to see M on a regular basis which I couldn't before that because she tends to get booked out in the afternoons. M also announced that she might be quitting by year end. I didn't react to it at first only because I was conflicted between going back to the WL I broke off with or starting anew with M, someone I've been yearning for years. Honestly when M rejected me for the second time I had thoughts of going back to the ex and probably just accepting that I might have to endure the trauma of having my birthday forgotten - I haven't actually celebrated my birthday properly for more than a decade because of a family issue.

Being able to see M regularly and having her convince me to keep seeing her was something that made my connection to her very strong. Something that my 3 other WL exes just didn't have. With the one I saw before M, honestly she's been tormenting me after our sixth month together. I had the strong devotion to stay with her regardless of what was about to happen - I thought that if I had to endure an unhappy marriage and divorce for the second time, so be it. But I felt that something was protecting me - our breakup was purposely caused through that traumatic event. Remembering that traumatic event I didn't even tell M my birthday, hoping that she doesn't do the same to me if we were to continue seeing each other long enough.

So yeah, what I wrote in that old comment was real. The one that I went out with on a shopping date outside was the first ever WL I've dated. That was before I met M.

All I can say now is this - the forum hasn't changed much since then but I wrote that real life experiences just to have a go at the person who "doxxed" me once upon a time ago. I admit that I was still pissed off at her at the time. I wanted to focus on my ex at that time and be the person to make her happy but unfortunately her karma ran out. Right now I don't mind having to experience any karma of leaving my ex. Even if M decides to play me and not come back, I'll accept and move on. All I want is for M to be happy. No point in her making my wish come true if she's going to suffer with thoughts that I might leave her one day, but my dealbreaker is simple - either not celebrate my birthday at all or make the effort to celebrate it even if you can't buy a tiny gift. The ML I dated before my ex also did the same thing by pretending to forget about my birthday after we exchanged our birthdates (and I bought a present for her birthday) but I forgave her at the time. With M, if we were to meet again I don't mind her not celebrating my birthday as long as she doesn't ask for my birthdate. The reason is because it is the issue that causes a rift between myself and my dad before his passing.

[didaswiwaw]

Interesting to see people opinion on Japanese girl. I want to add from my experience dealing with Japanese girls. Most guys see Japanese girls as submissive and feminine, which i think is one of the main reason why lots of men like Japanese girls. However, behind those personalities deep down they just don't like frontal confrontation, hence the easiest way to avoid that is to lie or pretend. When things don't go as they wanted they don't tell you rather they play along with it, then they ghosted you.

So when dealing with Japanese girl(WL or non WL), its better to be not 100% invested. When things seems to go well, it might not be.

[Footballpunter]

Her soul is in a vault, she doesn't need a relationship.

That pretty much sums it all for anyone imagining anything with ML/WL/Sugar whatevers

[Double_Adapter]

This thing about race, culture, country etc is a load of fucken horseshit and only comes into play if a serious LTR and/or marriage/kids/family is on the horizon. At the end of the day women are women and regardless of race they all bleed, they're all hormonal, they crave romance, they want to be feminine, feel beautiful, be desired, feel safe and secure, and most importantly to feel love and be loved.

But once she has settled down and gets impregnated all that unconditional love and affection is redirected towards her children, and this is when guys start feeling left out, fall out of love, and seek other options to fill the void.

[frisson]

This thing about race, culture, country etc is a load of fucken horseshit and only comes into play if a serious LTR and/or marriage/kids/family is on the horizon. At the end of the day women are women and regardless of race they all bleed, they're all hormonal, they crave romance, they want to be feminine, feel beautiful, be desired, feel safe and secure, and most importantly to feel love and be loved.

But once she has settled down and gets impregnated all that unconditional love and affection is redirected towards her children, and this is when guys start feeling left out, fall out of love, and seek other options to fill the void.

The modern stereotype is that Japanese women switch off from sex after marriage. May be only an unfair stereotype but it's there

[frisson]

Her soul is in a vault, she doesn't need a relationship.

The OP wants more than a business transaction, it's the oldest mistake in punting

The OP wants a relationship but choose the wrong type of woman

I don't mean to be direct or abruot, but these are facts of life that need to be stated for those yet to learn them

Said this many times. When men pay a sugar baby way over market price (compared to the cost at a brothel) for sex, they generally expect unprotected sex as compensation. Unfortunately for you, that means you are riding the town bike, no matter how beautiful she is, and none of you are protected from a group STI

I'm always respectful to women, I'm just making a point, without sugar coating it

[Double_Adapter]

....don't get me started frisson!

Some of you blokes sound like pussy whipped castrated betas and you make Prince Harry look like an accomplished alpha male.

Understand the fucken realities of the sexual marketplace:
- if a woman is stunning it's guaranteed that she'll have plenty of suitors, followers, options, including a string of betas vying for her attention, affection, and love.
- She will be pedestalised, proposed to, given money, cars, apartments, luxurious gifts, exotic holidays etc; largely funded by the betas in an attempt to BUY her attention, affection and love.
- Attractive women have rotations of men and they'll string them along for as long as it suits their needs AND, until the the 'right one' comes along.
- Having a string of guys constantly chasing them serves as an ego boost, validates their insecurities, provides them with romantic adventures that help spice up their otherwise bland and monotonous boring lives. This viscous cycle will continue until 'the right one' comes along.
- If the right one doesn't come along, or if she's too picky and hard to please, she'll hit her 40's single, become bitter and twisted, she'll grow old and lonely, and be surrounded by 10 cats.
- A guy will need to tick a whole bunch of boxes for a woman to be truly attracted to him, be swept off her feet, and give herself completely to him (body, mind, pussy and soul). And until that happens you are one of many simps that have been deceived into thinking that you are special and that she only does this with you!
- Looks and money will only go so far, focus on all the other masculine shit if you want real results!
- A woman's love is also based on resources and utility. If you can no longer provide them or someone else provides it better than you.....then, you will be replaced.
- A man on top of his game will also have a rotation and selection of women to chose from. It's just a game and in order to play it you gotta become a player. So don't hate the player, hate the game.

Note: For stunning WLs with aerodynamic lines, all the above points is magnified 25x.
The stigma and life experiences associated with the WL lifestyle is what fucks them up emotionally and psychologically and subsequently disqualifies them from being adequate partners, wives and mothers.

[frisson]

Understand the fucken realities of the sexual marketplace

Brother you are I are in total agreement. And you are as friendly and as direct as I am

Unfortunately most humans don't read or learn from words of wisdom. They are destined to just make the mistakes of past generations lol

Yes, any inexperienced guy who meets the 'stunning WL with aerodynamic lines" it will never end well if they lack emotional intelligence

The tragedy for those ladies is that those aerodynamic lines in 9/10 women eventually convert to the same podgy bodies that 9/10 men end up with

[begov94]

Settling down changes a woman, especially if she is really determined on having kids. The "honeymoon" phase is over once kids enter your life. Everything will be about the kid's wellbeing, there's no time to think about your own enjoyment. Something I will never emulate is how some friends in the past will leave their wives home just so that they can have fun outside with friends while the wife had to do all the housework and taking care of the kids.

I like staying home and only going out a couple hours during the day, probably twice a week. Back when I was a young adult I always took care of my little sister as a baby, feeding her milk and babysitting her. She grew fond of me more than her own mother. Unfortunately her mother was the type who still yearns being in a honeymoon phase even after giving birth so that was a good opportunity for me to learn about kids.

Going back to the topic of cultural upbringing, I understand it is an assumption that all Japanese women are nice, sweet, loyal etc. In my experience some can be quite direct and confrontational. However, my cue in knowing which to stay with and which to avoid is to know if their goals align with yours. Then again there is also the saying that respect is a big thing in all relationships - if both partners can't respect each other the relationship will crumble and this will bring about the worst psychological imbalance in the kids who grow up in such households. That was why the issue with my exes asking about my birthday and pretending to forget was a big deal breaker for me - even my ex-wife didn't put in the effort to celebrate my birthday after we got married because she was too self-centred. And because of that I knew it wouldn't be good for us to have kids, because if a wife neglects her own husband then there will definitely be the tendency for her to neglect her own kids.

People who think they want great sex all the time shouldn't get married, they should make enough money to afford punting until the day they die. Marriage is for people ready to give everything to the next generation. For example, if I want to continue being alive for the next 50 years I have two choices - get married and put 200% effort into fatherhood+husbandhood, or be an ordained monk to be a father figure to adults with childhood traumas.

[begov94]

Unconditional love, if done properly, extends to everyone in the household. Obviously the wife when having the first kid will focus mostly on the kid and may have no time for the husband, but this is a good opportunity for the husband to prove that he's useful in the household. If the husband gets home immediately after work and does the things the wife just didn't have time doing, it brings about a great relief to the wife and he will not fall out of "love" for the wife. A wife with less burden will be happier, she can live a married life with kids as if she's still in a honeymoon phase.

Many people's minds are untrained, unfocused. They're easily distracted hence the reason why they easily fall out of love. Maintaining love requires a strong focus. This is why Buddhistic training puts a lot of emphasis on focus, because if we can focus on one point wholeheartedly, we can focus on other emotions. And that's why after 3 months apart I still feel as if M is physically right next to me, her image is always in my heart through strong focus. That's what my teacher taught me, to hold our loved ones strongly in our heart if we want the relationship to thrive.

I don't regret meeting my 3 WL exes. It is through their lives I learned what M had to go through. Pushing myself to love them while it lasted taught me not to easily give up on M. I know M also saw that in me, that's why she refuses to see me give up all these while. If I still don't hear from her up until the new year's, I wish her a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. My 2024 resolution is to wait for M's return and start a life with her.

[Jamez11]

....don't get me started frisson!

Some of you blokes sound like pussy whipped castrated betas and you make Prince Harry look like an accomplished alpha male.

Understand the fucken realities of the sexual marketplace:
- if a woman is stunning it's guaranteed that she'll have plenty of suitors, followers, options, including a string of betas vying for her attention, affection, and love.
- She will be pedestalised, proposed to, given money, cars, apartments, luxurious gifts, exotic holidays etc; largely funded by the betas in an attempt to BUY her attention, affection and love.
- Attractive women have rotations of men and they'll string them along for as long as it suits their needs AND, until the the 'right one' comes along.
- Having a string of guys constantly chasing them serves as an ego boost, validates their insecurities, provides them with romantic adventures that help spice up their otherwise bland and monotonous boring lives. This viscous cycle will continue until 'the right one' comes along.
- If the right one doesn't come along, or if she's too picky and hard to please, she'll hit her 40's single, become bitter and twisted, she'll grow old and lonely, and be surrounded by 10 cats.
- A guy will need to tick a whole bunch of boxes for a woman to be truly attracted to him, be swept off her feet, and give herself completely to him (body, mind, pussy and soul). And until that happens you are one of many simps that have been deceived into thinking that you are special and that she only does this with you!
- Looks and money will only go so far, focus on all the other masculine shit if you want real results!
- A woman's love is also based on resources and utility. If you can no longer provide them or someone else provides it better than you.....then, you will be replaced.
- A man on top of his game will also have a rotation and selection of women to chose from. It's just a game and in order to play it you gotta become a player. So don't hate the player, hate the game.

Note: For stunning WLs with aerodynamic lines, all the above points is magnified 25x.
The stigma and life experiences associated with the WL lifestyle is what fucks them up emotionally and psychologically and subsequently disqualifies them from being adequate partners, wives and mothers.

Mate, you really need to stop watching fresh n fit or whatever degenerate red pill “alpha male” crap you’re consuming. Your views are extremely unhealthy and very damaging especially when it comes to your views on women and relationships.

[Footballpunter]

Mate, you really need to stop watching fresh n fit or whatever degenerate red pill “alpha male” crap you’re consuming. Your views are extremely unhealthy and very damaging especially when it comes to your views on women and relationships.

To be fair, i think he's only talking about women on the "sexual marketplace" like he stated in the beginning. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in those Andrew Tate bullshit either. I think the point here is to point out that women who are ML/WL/sugar babes are a little different to deal with.

[Jamez11]

To be fair, i think he's only talking about women on the "sexual marketplace" like he stated in the beginning. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in those Andrew Tate bullshit either. I think the point here is to point out that women who are ML/WL/sugar babes are a little different to deal with.

Red pillars will describe dating as the “sexual marketplace”, that’s all anyone really needs to know how they view men/women/dating/relationships lol.

[Sibon]

Now I know why this thread was started. And I know now who started it other than the obvious username (some people are really good at digging up the past).

I have to admit, I had wrong views in the past. I had no father figure to teach me how to look for a wife - I was told to "figure it out myself". Every relationship I realised that I was easily duped, only because I was trying to avoid becoming like my own father. I didn't want to go through a life of multiple marriages and divorces myself like my father did. Unfortunately I went through my first divorce in early 2019 and luckily no kids involved.

The time I posted the quoted comment I was actually dating a WL, one who was previously quite popular. She accepted my proposal to be her gf almost immediately - I was so happy at that time. She even asked me if I wanted kids. I kept seeing her for more than a year. The dealbreaker was that she purposely forgotten about my birthday which was a traumatic event for me. She didn't even offer any apologies or try to calm me down. I walk out on her.

Weeks after that I saw an opportunity to see M on a regular basis which I couldn't before that because she tends to get booked out in the afternoons. M also announced that she might be quitting by year end. I didn't react to it at first only because I was conflicted between going back to the WL I broke off with or starting anew with M, someone I've been yearning for years. Honestly when M rejected me for the second time I had thoughts of going back to the ex and probably just accepting that I might have to endure the trauma of having my birthday forgotten - I haven't actually celebrated my birthday properly for more than a decade because of a family issue.

Being able to see M regularly and having her convince me to keep seeing her was something that made my connection to her very strong. Something that my 3 other WL exes just didn't have. With the one I saw before M, honestly she's been tormenting me after our sixth month together. I had the strong devotion to stay with her regardless of what was about to happen - I thought that if I had to endure an unhappy marriage and divorce for the second time, so be it. But I felt that something was protecting me - our breakup was purposely caused through that traumatic event. Remembering that traumatic event I didn't even tell M my birthday, hoping that she doesn't do the same to me if we were to continue seeing each other long enough.

So yeah, what I wrote in that old comment was real. The one that I went out with on a shopping date outside was the first ever WL I've dated. That was before I met M.

All I can say now is this - the forum hasn't changed much since then but I wrote that real life experiences just to have a go at the person who "doxxed" me once upon a time ago. I admit that I was still pissed off at her at the time. I wanted to focus on my ex at that time and be the person to make her happy but unfortunately her karma ran out. Right now I don't mind having to experience any karma of leaving my ex. Even if M decides to play me and not come back, I'll accept and move on. All I want is for M to be happy. No point in her making my wish come true if she's going to suffer with thoughts that I might leave her one day, but my dealbreaker is simple - either not celebrate my birthday at all or make the effort to celebrate it even if you can't buy a tiny gift. The ML I dated before my ex also did the same thing by pretending to forget about my birthday after we exchanged our birthdates (and I bought a present for her birthday) but I forgave her at the time. With M, if we were to meet again I don't mind her not celebrating my birthday as long as she doesn't ask for my birthdate. The reason is because it is the issue that causes a rift between myself and my dad before his passing.

Are you telling us you can only find girlfriends among MLs?

[sugardady]

Gone with the winds.

[begov94]

Are you telling us you can only find girlfriends among MLs?

No lol.
I have never dated ML/WL before COVID. For some reasons COVID changed my trajectory starting from the first WL I've dated. Even after separating from my ex and waiting for the divorce verdict I was asked by a hot young Taiwanese WL if I was single, and that she's available. I politely rejected by not answering her. Not because I had any prejudice against her job but I just wasn't sure if she's pursuing me because I'm her potential visa ticket.

I think it's because COVID changed the dating landscape a lot. I had zero success on online dating, and trying to meet women IRL was hard because of the many COVID restrictions in place. Nowadays it has normalised, the places I normally frequent (not brothels/MP) have lots of choices I can talk to but M caught my heart, so I feel quite heavy talking to another attractive girl with M in my mind.

I believe in karmic affinity - the reason why I met M and the reason why it took 3 years after that before my chance of pursuing her started opening up. Also the added fact that M decided to announce her retirement to me very early on, and start working an extra day in a new shop where I had no problems booking her weekly.

Regardless of whether M returns or not, she will be the last person in this sort of industry I'll ever date. If she doesn't come back in 5 years then maybe I'll move on and look for a non-SW again. It was her wish as well that I don't pursue other SWs, and I don't normally pursue a relationship with SWs unless they hint that they're looking for a relationship like how my 3 exes did.