Reply With Quote13. There's a box of tissue paper in the room
14. 'No sexual favour' written on the wall
15. When you flip over the girl whispers 'you want extra?' (OK this is silly ...)
1. Sign out the front has a MASSAGE sign in large, bold letters and and /or a neon sign flashing in the window.
2. Opening hours are 7 days and extend past 7pm
3. The front door is locked so you have to ring the bell or knock.
4. The girl that greets you has more mascara on than Avril Livigne (singer)
5. The room is scantily decorated and the whole place needs a bloody good clean/new paint job
6. The towel looks like it has been 10 rounds with Mike Tyson
7. Girl tells you that the massage is 'full body, relaxing massage'
8. She has a pair of K-mart thongs on.
9. All of the girls names end with a Y, 'IE' or 'I' Eg Candy, Ellie, Angie, Mimi, Fifi etc
10. You get a frequent flyer's card at the end.
11. Undies on/off is 'up to you'
12. Shop isn't anywhere near a shopping centre
13. There's a box of tissue paper in the room
14. 'No sexual favour' written on the wall
15. When you flip over the girl whispers 'you want extra?' (OK this is silly ...)
ohh and dont forget ... they are all dressed like cheap Bangkok hookers.....
Decided to remove a lot of this stuff, really it's not relevant.
18. there is no real technique to the massage and the moves are very repeatative
19. All the girls are Asian not a Caucasian girl in site and the owner is asian.
20. There are usually a bunch of asian girls all sitting around and only one will be allowed to greet you and do your massage
21. Relaxing Asian mood music.
22. As soon as you enter an Asian girl gets up quickly and says "come with me" or variations thereof.
23. If there are other girls present, they do not make eye contact with you, the order of serving customers
having already been decided (maybe by an intense mah jong game hehe)
24. there is no real oil in the room..only baby oil
25.there are no anatomy posters on the wall
26. the massage is shit
27. There is a mattress on the floor
this is a funny thread
28. The clock on the wall shows a different time from your watch
29. The room is so dimly lit that you find it hard to pick up the right dollar notes from your wallet
30. While massaging your back the girl will climb up the table and wedge your head between her thighs that if you lift your head you can smell the juice of her pussy
31. The girl will ask about your: 1. nationality 2. job 3. marital status 4. immigration status, in that order
32. When you flip over, after a few minutes they say "What are you thinking??" *
* What I'd like to say: "I'd really be interested to see how much of my hard cock you can take in your mouth??"
What I usually say: "Umm...nothing."
I love it when they ask that question. Several years ago now, I had a young Pommy ML ask me that question. I replied with " all the naughty things i would like to do to you right now". Needless to say it ended up as one of the best "massages" I have ever had.Originally Posted by flamingmoose
Haha...nice one mate...I love it when they ask that question. Several years ago now, I had a young Pommy ML ask me that question. I replied with " all the naughty things i would like to do to you right now". Needless to say it ended up as one of the best "massages" I have ever had.
This is fun...
33. The towels are either washed in cold water or not at all so even after the shower you still walk out the door and home to the missus smelling like baby oil.
34. The girls are never from Japan.
35. The girls always say "ooh, too much" when you blow all over their hands.
36. The massage room's scent is a delightfully musty combination of baby oil and semen soaked tissues.
37. The older ones estimate your age as being a minimum five years younger than what you really are.
38. The universal "yes sir, you are in a rub-n-tug" signal of the single finger tackle tickle (followed by us raising our hips off the table).
39. The girls are all "studying".
40. The girls seem to work minimum 12-hour shifts.
41. The mamasan has a black-belt-fifth-dan in handies but she sees only a handful of regulars.
42. How long do you want to stay for? You have to pay before the massage.
43.What type of massage would you like, doesn't matter what you tell them, they do whatever they feel like
44. The girl will ask you "Have you been here before?"
Decided to remove a lot of this stuff, really it's not relevant.
and
45. You are so handsome
46. Have you been here before
47. who usually looks after you
48. its soooo big
and if you ask is she wants it inside
49. its tooo big for me
50. usually you see Virgie, why now you see me .....
51. i see you many times at the shop, but never book me
52. can I keep the change for myself ....
53. you are so cute (and the client will wonder how can a man near 50 look cute)
this thread is getting a bit narcissistic now ... and this will be my last contribution, lol ....
54. They look over at the clock and go"oh only 5 mintures to go, which part would you like me to work on"
55. They lightly touch your ball sack while massaging your legs .
56. they lightly touch your legs while massaging your ball sack !!!
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