LuLu, Normandy & Nothing at 28 Vincent St Marrickville

[Steven Seagal]

28 Vincent Street
Marrickville

Howdy Gang,

This is a review of LuLu.

Before I get all hot and bothered it is important that I make some general observations about life that ultimately reflect on this review.

Most of what happens to us we forget. For example, if you asked me what I was doing on the 6TH of June, 2009 I could not tell you. I do know I wasn’t involved in invading Normandy as that invasion took place on June 6, 1944. I don’t remember because nothing of note happened to me on that date. As a matter of fact it is good that we don’t remember everything as we’d wind up in a psychiatric ward due to all the bad stuff that happens in life coming back and overwhelming us..

In a way life is like a movie. Once the movie producer Samuel Goldwyn was interviewed and the interviewer commented that movies are not like real life. Goldwyn replied “Movies are exactly like real life with all the boring bits taken out”. That is strange, but true.

Just as an aside, it just occurred how strange it was that Snow White lived out in the sticks with seven asexual dwarfs. Not a pretty picture folks!

Maybe they weren’t asexual. I had the following interaction with my nephew Diddy on this very subject.

Steven: Snow White and the seven dwarfs broke up.
Diddy: Why?
Steven: She was fucking dopey.
Diddy: That’s not funny.
Steven: Whatever.

Anyway, what was this overblown preamble all about? Well, if I didn’t write about this punt that took place three hours ago right now, I would have forgotten about it by tomorrow. It is one of those boring bits that Goldwyn talked about.

28 Vincent Street lies at the end of the street that appears to branch out into two side streets. It is the only house on the street in an otherwise industrial area. I say house, but shack and dump would be a more apt description. There is a ramp leading in and quite frankly if I bought the joint I’d bulldoze it and start all over.

The inside wasn’t any better. It had a Red Sunset and downmarket 12 Bellevue feel about it. Downmarket 12 Bellevue? Yes, it makes Bellevue look like Stilettos in comparison. The sheets look like the originally prototypes designed by Haime Schwartz in Jerusalem in 354 BC and looked like they hadn’t been cleaned since that time. The predominant interior motif of this joint could best be described as neo-classical slum or post-modern crap.

I was greeted by your typical, downmarket Asian mamasan who looked like she’d been in the game herself 30 years ago and had been relegated to having others do her fucking by proxy. She Cheshire smiled and shook my hand and I immediately counted my fingers. Rates were quoted at $80/30 and $150/60. I took 60.

There was only one lady available. The lady was LuLu.

LuLu said that she was 23 and I believe she may have set the odometer back a few clicks. She was not a bbw, BUT I don’t think she ever let the yum cha trolley pass without sampling at least on dish. She was about 5 feet tall, in the old parlance, b+ cups that were a tad too small for her torso and a trimmed pussy.

Good news:

1. She was young.
2. She did dfk well.
3. She tried to please.
4. Did I mention she was young?

Not so good news:

1. She was a smoker.
2. I could feel nothing during her bbj.
3. I could feel nothing in her pussy when she wasn’t contracting her pussy muscles.
4. Did I mention she was a smoker?

Folks, she started with a bbj and I could not feel a thing! Her lips were wrapped around my cock but her head remained motionless and there was no sucking at all. As I moved my hips to get my cock going in and out I could still feel nothing. I lay there transfixed by the fact that I could not figure out how her mouth had my cock in it and I felt nothing. However she did this she had it worked out to an art form.

In terms of her pussy, she put enough lube on it to grease the axils of all the cars coming out of Detroit in a 6 month period. On second thought, that is a poor analogy as almost nothing comes out of Detroit these days except poverty, murders and despair.

I felt despair. While she was a good kisser, I felt like I had smoked two packs of smokes after a couple of kisses.

I had her in mish and cowgirl. I won’t say I enjoyed her as I could not feel a thing. I wanted to tie a 2X4 across my arse so I didn’t fall in.

In the end I jerked off on her teats and that, as they say, is that.

Will I go back? It is doubtful as this will quickly be relegated to the same spot of my brain where the 6th of June, 2009 resides.

I still need to do a review of YoYo at Red Sunset, but I haven’t got a handle on it yet.

Got to go now.

Will try and catch ya’ll again soon.

Until that time friends . . .until that time.

Steven

[Massageguy]

So descriptive Steven, that I felt I was there with you.

[electroman69]

So descriptive Steven, that I felt I was there with you.

Unfortunately I've also been there and done that. I think it was a few years ago maybe even 2009? That was another 30 mins of my life I won't get back.

[Sextus]

Mr Seagal, I'm glad you don't go to establishments like 5* and Ginza as there would be be much less comic gold to weave out of the surrounds and girls!