Reply With QuoteAnna sounds lovely. "My sensation experience will brow your mind"
Hi Folks,
I thought I would start a thread with Adult Personal Adverts that I thought were funny.
The first comes from a transsexual who used to advertise under the name ‘Irish’ Claudia. She has dropped the Irish bit, but not her shithouse attitude.
At the start of her ad she states:
“NOT INTO BUSH PIGS If you text’s me one will be BLOCK ok!!!!!”
She then goes on to say:
“I AM NOT HERE FOR YOUR BULLSHIT: KEEP THAT FOR YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR WIFE! P.S No Irish Men thank you. I'm sure the Girls are more suited to your drunken needs as you had to bypass them to get here.”
She closes with:
“No bullshit calls, no texting and no penis pics I have the penis you are looking for!”
I think I love this girl. In case you think I am joking I have included the link below.
http://sydney.backpage.com/Transsexu...ock-ok/5398059
The second ad I want to include comes from private massage girl Anna who advertises on Cracker. In case you thought she might provide extras she noted:
No SEX
No Greek
No RIM
No COF
No COT
No BJ
No French
No anal
No FS
No private number will be no answer:
I interpret that last phrase to mean “Unless you use a private number I will not answer”. Methinks that the old ‘double negative’.
Her link is
http://cracker.com.au/sydney-inner-s...=anna®ion=3
Go with the flow
Steven Seagal.
Anna sounds lovely. "My sensation experience will brow your mind"
Here’s another tranny one from BELA ANACONDA
“I LOVE FUCK YOU ASS VERY HARD..MY ANACONDA IS READY FOR YOU ASS..”
http://perth.backpage.com/Transsexua...inking/5616117
Busty Nana offers:
call 0450 984 323
Joondalup
I am Nana from Japan
sz6 .23yrs
good looking
oil nude massage
happy ending...etc..
and full service
massage nat french
mut frenchsex toys
stocking ,,,,,etc
full service price
$100 for 30mins
$150 for 60mins
I wonder what mut frenchsex toys are?
http://perth.backpage.com/FemaleEsco...ndalup/5596724
Nikita writes:
Nikita's House Of Love is back in Perth
The amount of times I've heard "Its so good to see someone who actually knows how to suck cock..." I believe that you have to love what you do or do something else.. I don't offer a porn star experience or do any special tricks.. My service is simple, I'm committed to what I do and I do it wellI'll suck your cock with passion... Ill wrap my lips around and caress your head like its best thing I've tasted and it'll make my pussy dripping wet (no joke). What turns me on..? Feeling you get hard in my mouth... and I love a good tease... the longer I suck the more I wanna fuck... The 15m bookings generally leave me feeling like I need a few minutes alone with my rabbit
http://perth.backpage.com/FemaleEsco...th-now/5325077
In her ad transsexual Isobel says:
“If you are after chic not shit keep reading.”
http://sydney.backpage.com/Transsexu...isobel/4837446
Steven
She wants our gentle irrigation, whatever that is.
http://sydney.backpage.com/FemaleEsc...aughty/5170755
Transexual Emma seems to know me very well as one of her selling points is:
“I'm in Sydney close to the city so don't go to the same run down old hotels and dives. Come and see me in my modern new apartment.”
http://sydney.backpage.com/FemaleEsc...adyboy/5733276
Now my question is how does she know about these dives and cheap hotels and how might she know I frequent them?
Steven
How much do they charge for the hour?
Steven
Hi All,
Noticed this ad where Tina writes:
“I used to be in Burwood/Enfield in a unit above a funeral parlour (that should jog your memory)”
http://cracker.com.au/surry-hills-in...neral®ion=3
You know it does jog my memory. I remember the misses and I going to the funeral parlour and seeing ol Uncle Moses Seagal lying in the coffin stiff as a board and thinking “My wee-wee is stiff too” and the following exchange with then wife Kitty Seagal.
Seagal: Kitty, my cock is stiff,
Kitty: So what?
Seagal: I think I’ll go upstairs and fuck fat, old Tina.
Kitty: Good idea and after you do you can fuck yourself and fuck off!
Ah yes, I remember it well Tina.
Steven
Note: Her full service rates start at $100/15 minutes. (It takes me at least 10 minutes to unzip my strides and free willy.) That works out to $400 for an hour. Go figure.
Howdy All,
I went a saw a private WL a number of years ago in Bankstown. When I arrived there were 2 women there. One in her early 20”s took one look at me and said “I’m sick”. The other who looked about 80 years old said “I’m a mature lady and we can fuck all day”. After she says this I am thinking “It will take me all day to get my wee-wee up with this one".
You can appreciate why I found the ad below amusing.
Seagal
“I know what you concern ,you afraid that you met old AUNTY when you reach the door , ring the bell and don’t know whos GRANDMA ATTENDING you ..
You MUST NOT WORRY if you come to me , I am ain’t the old age lady , I am definitely 23 years old and slim size 8 body and CC boobs . and I have good looking young face .. 100 % guarantee you that I am real nice lady you see when you ring the bell and young girl attending you !
NO DISSAPPOINMENT for SURE ~~~~”
http://sydney.cracker.com.au/FemaleE...-thai/12059453
Hi All,
I found the following 2 comments funny.
They were posted by a ladyboy advert on Backpage.
The first comment is:
“HAVE NO TIME FOR INSECURE MORONS!!”
My favourite comment is:
“NO BULLSHIT-TALKING MORONS - WILL BE BLOCKED!!”
The above statement can be interpreted 2 ways.
The first is ‘If you are a bullshit talking moron I will block you.’
OR
‘If you are a bullshit talking moron you will not be blocked!’
I have attached the link.
http://sydney.backpage.com/Transsexu...perth/12794553
Seagal
Howdy Gang,
I got these from Backpage.
Toura http://sydney.backpage.com/FemaleEsc...762049/8946705 says
“I am Toura and I'm Real 24 NOT OLD ugly girl!!”
She then posts photos so blurred they could be my grandmother!
I suspect the following poster on Backpage is a bloke with too much time on his hands pretending to be a WL. ‘She’ as posted some ‘education’ posts that basically paint punters as consummate dickheads. (http://sydney.backpage.com/FemaleEsc...you-6/13378318)
“I notice that here in Australia especially a lot of guys are very fond of playing with their back door. I don’ t know what to answer when someone ask me if I provide a rimming service? I want to ask him in return “ do you provide a hairless, neutral smell, clean asshole?” Don t you understand that when we are doing a sensual 69 and you are taking care of my sweet and lovely pussy, I have your hairy, smelly, sweaty, sticky bum cheeks covering some bits and pieces of some toilet paper and brownish pieces of … that you forgot to wipe out from your morning session! Oh please let me lick it all for you!!! I can t wait !!”
Sakura Blossom is a real classic. She observes:
“Most escort ads are using fake model pictures, The girls show up doesn't even look like the picture at all. If you cancel them, not only waste your time, They will send you big men to collect cancellation fee from you.” (http://sydney.backpage.com/FemaleEsc...ook-me/8489817
Her photos are such that I have seen things clearer when I was wearing the thickest beer goggles possible!
Sakura goes further when she notes in the heading to her ad that:
“Many Japanese are Chinese.” (http://sydney.backpage.com/FemaleEsc...t-450h/8461743)
Steven
I went to the trouble of seeing Sakura once, I couldn't go through with it once I saw her face ...Originally Posted by Steven Seagal
Here's one for all the big boys!
http://melbourne.backpage.com/Female...-guys/18132712
Need nsw extra cash
No touching but 😂
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