Originally Posted by
z3335526
So an update to my situation.
The ML came back from holidays and I surprised her with a white rose and a card conveying some of my feelings. She was gone for a while and I had really missed her when she left because I was developing a great connection with her.
So I gave her those and told her how much I missed her. She read the card and was thankful for the rose. The card had my number which I thought was a nice way of providing my number in a subtle way. I hinted that I wanted to see her outside of the shop and would wait on her to find some time to see me.
That session went well and we spent the whole time just chatting. She said we definitely could meet outside for lunch. I ended the session feeling great and hopeful that I could pursue this "relationship" further and maybe make it into something.
She didn't text back for a few days.
I organised a session with her later that week in the shop. I subtly hinted that I was slightly disappointed that she didn't text me. Inside the shop, she treats me so well. She is completely at ease and engages with me on a pretty personal level. From my position, I keep thinking that it would be so easy to convert this into something more on the outside. I left that session again feeling better and hoping that something would materialise. At that session, I got her number from her and texted her a few greetings afterwards. Her responses were short and succinct and i felt that I wasn't making much progress in the "Texting" game.
Next week arrives and I see her. As usual, the session is great and we are there just talking and kissing. I find out more about her. For the last few sessions, I told her I didn't want a happy ending but I would still pay her the extra fee. She didn't accept the extra fee on those occassions which was nice. But this week, she was keen for me to relax and let her do her magic. She is great at that but in my mind, I am trying to find ways to go out with this girl, and I felt that the arrangement of paying her to satisfy my little fellow was not the way to go about it. Strange that we think differently when we like a girl.
Well that week (saw her twice) and both sessions were great but I still couldn't manage to see her outside. She flaked on the one occasion i suggested a meetup. However, I asked very late and even I would have probably said no lol given the late request.
Cue last week, I again saw her twice. Both sessions were great as usual. She treats me fantastic inside the shop. I keep implying that I am desperate to see her outside. She said that she will be seeing me on my bday (this week). I understand that but am keen to lunch with her sometime. She says she will let me know. Essentially, I tried twice to organise something with her last week and on both occasions, they failed. Her texting game has improved. She initiates a few texts but I have been unable to secure a meet-up outside the shop yet which depresses me alot.
It hurts man. You feel like you build a connection and you struggle to complete the process. I felt like I did the hard things. I got the number, I got her to text a few times, but in the end, like what many of you have said, these girls are more comfortable in the shop than meeting you outside.
I need to understand that I was fighting a losing battle from the beginning anyway. Firstly:
1. She's really pretty and I'm in the process of becoming fit again but am not in her league (yet lol)
2. She's a ML (tough to beat that one)
3. She's very popular at the shop which would suggest that my feelings may have been shared by many. I still believe I am different to others in how I connect with her but my failure to secure a date would suggest otherwise.
I also have played the "Game" poorly. From my position, my texting game was poor and I think I showed signs of desperation. When you like a girl, you start acting and texting differently and I think this is a turn-off. When she flaked on the last meeting, I texted her and called her twice to no avail. I needn't have done that. The pure fact that she said she would let me know when she would be free the previous night should have been enough to suggest that she would initiate the conversation the next day. Her failure to do so should have been enough. MY actions in calling and texting were unnecessary because they look a little desperate and that's not the image you want to create. I spoke to her on the phone and she basically said she was out the previous night and slept most of the next day. I said ok and then ended the conversation (politely).
I feel disappointed, disheartened and a little confused. I need to understand that it is almost impossible to date a ML (especially one that is very pretty) but my naivety got the better of me. I am unsure as to what my next steps should be. I have thought about this girl ALOT. Tbh, as much as girls I have really liked in the past. That is the effect she has had on me.
I love the sessions in the shop but I know that inside, I will always want more and that seems like something I am not going to get.
She has indicated that she wanted to get me something for my bday this week and do something but I am fairly certain this will not happen (based on past experiences).
I feel like I need to take a step back and just not text or see her for a while. I'm a sucker for these girls and it's going to take alot of effort but it seems like the only thing to do.
Sorry for the long-winded essay but I need to get my thoughts on paper because I'm feeling down and gym and cardio appear the only things that keep my upbeat during the day. Time will tell.
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