Crystal: Big lady . . .Small review

[Steven Seagal]

Person's Name : Crystal
Establishment : Ashfield
Date of Visit : January, 2016
Contact Details/Address/Weblink : http://sydney.locanto.com.au/ID_5737...r-fantasy.html
Hours of Business : Contact through Locanto for availability. Rates : $130/hr in car, absolutely everything and anything included. (Looks like she asks $200/hr in call)
Age : Claims 28. Believable.
Size/shape : The 130kg and a BIB unit.
Nationality or Ethnicity : Aussie, but with strong Texan edge to the accent.
Services Provided : All was offered but little taken.
Value for money/recommend? :How do I say this delicately? Fuck no!

Howdy Gang,

This is a review of Crystal.

I’ve always been connected with big ideas and big imagination. This hasn’t necessarily worked for me, but these have been there.

Take big ideas for example. The following conversation occurred between my Dad, Yitzhak Seagal, when I was 14.

Yitzhak: What do you want to be when you grow up Steven
Steven: Independently wealthy.
Yitzhak: I suppose you have a plan for this?
Steven: Yep, win big bucks at the crap tables in Vegas.
Yitzhak: That a plan?
Steven: Which President is on a $1,000 bill Dad?
Yitzhak: I don’t know.
Steven: Grover Cleveland.
Yitzhak: How do you know that?
Steven: Because I think big and you think small potatoes!
Yitzhak: You are working.
Steven: Working/ What do you mean?
Yitzhak: Working on getting a back-hander across your chops!

Well, that they say, is that. I never won and the crap tables and never say a $1000 dollar bill.

I have a BIG imagination too.

I remember when Mr. Georgiou, my English literature teacher, in high school gave us an assignment to read a Herman Melville novel and the following exchange happened in front of the English class:

Mr. Georgiou: What is your view of Captain Ahab?
Steven: I didn’t read the book.
Mr. Georgiou: I told you to read Melville for your homework.
Steven: I don’t read gay literature.
Mr. Georgiou: Gay literature?
Steven: Yes, who wants to read a big book about Moby’s Dick?

As far as punting goes, I used to have a BIG bucket list, but now I have trimmed it down substantially.

BUT when I saw Crystal’s ad I thought I’d have to included a punt with the biggest working lady I’d encountered>

Folks, she is BIG and for me it was not an attractive big. From herself description and her pics she seemed to have an alternative feel about hr and so I thought “In for a penny, in for a pound.

She moves around a lot and judging by her service and apparent lifestyle, one can understand why.

I should have walked, but followed my nephew Edd ‘Kookie’ Byrnes view of don’t walk and it’s not called punting for nothing.

She does have large breasts, but her face and her tatts did not appeal to me.

Let me list the 3 best things about this pun:

1. There was no best thing about this punt.
2. There was no second best thing about this punt.
3. There wasn’t a third best thing about this punt unless you consider when I left.

She talks and talks. She is a self styled expert on everything and thinks she sees all at a deeper meaning. If my therapist advised me to see her again and pay attention to her . . . then I would get a new therapist.

She was a pain in the neck.

Granted, she offers everything including the kitchen sink, but folks you wouldn’t want it.

Because of my accent, I am a Yank, she went on about her personal issues etc. I am as soft hearted and headed as the next guy, but I don’t punt to hear others problems and analysis of the world.

In the end I did have mish with her, but I don’t know how that was possible. I couldn’t see her pussy well, as it has ample padding surrounding it.

Look, this was not her fault. I went into this with my eyes wide open, but buster I had them closed during my time with her.

Next I will review ‘New’ Amy at Bellevue. It was only after I arrived home that I realised I had seen and reviewed her before.

Bye for now folks.

See you soon.

Until that time friends . . .until that time.

Steven

[Tyriontalks]

Another awesome AR by the Seagal. You sir are a legend!:cool2