Reply With QuoteWhy not just say that you may have done certain things with the partner before the current one?
Hi Brothers,
Need your help. My partner went to see a doctor as she felt uncomfortable when peeing and the female doctor told her that she may have got Herpes! Now, we're just waiting for the blood test to come back in 3-5 days time.
She called and asked me if I've been cheating. Well, I visited WLs but NEVER did any barebacks, always use condom. I may have light kisses but not DFK.
I'm gonna say to her that it's not a herpes until the test results come out. She wanted me to do a test as well, she's booked an appointment for me tomorrow. I said I will go by myself... (but she may want to go into the consultation room with me)
Help me what should I do and say?
I've seen some older posts on here, recommending Sexual Health Clinics for privacy like SSHS and the one in RPA. Should I say to my partner to cancel the GP appointment, I should go to one of those clinics? in terms of timing, I'm thinking we should wait for her results before doing anything.
Why not just say that you may have done certain things with the partner before the current one?
Thanks OmniMime, but I can't use that. We've been together for a long time and my punting started after our relationship.
However, my last punt was about more than 1 month ago. Not sure how accurate the GP advice because she only complained about this issue now.
If that is the case, then perhaps it can be a case of using certain public toilets that aren't clean or hygienic when taking a dump? Who knows what the cock has been wiping against the underside of the toilet seat? Just a guess?Originally Posted by Bawal
But ... what if it is the other way around between the partners? No offense intended.
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Sit tight until the results are in
Blood tests are a waste of time - you have to take a swab of an open sore
If however you have passed on an STD .
You’ll just have to be honest. Unless you want to state you only French kissed ... someone’s lips
Good advice, I will probably use that.
I don't want to speculate for now as we are still waiting for the results. But yeah, if it's the other way around, I will probably leave.
Thanks liminal, agree, I will wait for the results.
I don't know if I have passed anything hence she booked an appointment for me. I will do a test for sure, but I prefer the Sexual Health Clinic as per suggested many times in this forum for anonymous/privacy purposes. I don't want the GP to have my records for sexual test. I'm thinking to do the test until her results came out. otherwise, why should I do a test now?
When a partner claims her man of cheating then that's one accusation. However if she has contracted herpes and she swears she had no sexual activity with anyone then you're in trouble. As the boys have suggested above, instead of seeing your GP pay a visit to one of the sexual health clinics where you can remain anonymous and your results are confidential.
I guess this is one of the risks when you punt whilst in a relationship with someone. Let's hope your results show no evidence of herpes. Good luck.
Thanks cuteguy. Yeah, I'm fully aware of the risk or lose a partner is the worst case.
We won't know for another 5 days. Hope the results will be negative.
I probably will not do a test until the results are out & it's a positive one. But I'm now collecting all facts about herpes etc. Feel free to share if any.
After a quick google.....
"A person who has HSV 1 or HSV 2, but has no notable symptoms of herpes can also transmit the virus. In many cases condoms do not prevent infected areas. The best way to protect yourself from the herpes virus is to get to know your partner, having an open discussion about STIs, and both getting tested by your GP or local health clinic. With so many people infected and never showing any symptoms of herpes, the increase for proper testing is recognised and strongly encouraged, as you may not recognise all the symptoms."
Also....
"Up to three quarters of the population doesn’t know they have herpes, and one in four will show no symptoms. Half will only have mild symptoms and are unlikely to be diagnosed and one in four will have more noticeable symptoms and will be diagnosed."
And....
"Herpes is curable. Your immune system reacts and cures it very well and stops recurrences for most people."
So, there's that.
I would get a better cover story tbh.
Thanks in helping me with the research Huge Brother
Also I'm reading all the herpes symptoms for men, none of them currently applicable to me. If I'm contracted with herpes, should I not feel all the symptoms now (after a month of my last punt)?
You don't need to have symptom to have herpes as your immune may be strong to suppress it. One in 4 men has herpes whether they know it or not. Most men who punts should get herpes at some stage, it's a given. It's so easy to get it when you come in close contact with someone who happens to have a herpes outbreak. Once you're contracted, the virus stay with you for life but most minor cases suppressed by immune system.
Herpes will stay forever in woman body , and it pops up and gone again and pops up again depend on bodycircumtances
Same with men. You can have an outbreak due to a number of factors which will require you to take some medication.
It will not cure it though- you have it for life.
Yeah it is for life
Well, condom can reduce risk of herpes transmission, but not 100% prevent it. As long as you get skin to skin contact, you can get it.
Your gf may even have gotten herpes herself from using public toilets without properly wiping the toilet seats
Or maybe your gf got from others , who knows ?
This might be the best way out. Have the mindset that she got it from someone else so you appear to be suspicious of her instead of the other way around.
Obviously get yourself tested too, of course.
I work in the medical field. You cannot contract HSV-1 or HSV-2 through a public toilet or any other inanimate object. The virus does not live outside of a host. That's just some bullshit excuse husbands give their clueless wives.
You can transmit the virus via oral to vaginal/penile or vaginal to penile. The transmission rate during an active infection (having a cold sore on your lip, or actual blisters on your genitals) is much much higher then when there is no symptoms present. Although it is still possible to transmit the virus when not having any symptoms, its definitely much harder. Especially if you are using proper barriers (condoms) all the time. However that doesn't stop you from contracting HSV-1 via a cold sore, then going down on your girlfriend later and giving it to her.
If it actually has been 30 days since your last encounter, you should have gotten some initial reaction if you never had herpes before. Although the initial symptoms of a classical blister/cold sores, pain, erythema etc. is not as exagerrated in males then females. I'm surprised the GP didn't take a swab of her blisters if she had any, for culturing as that would be a definitive diagnosis. A blood test looks for anti-bodies and may come back negative if this is her initial presentation, as she hasn't had time to make the antibodies yet. Genital herpes are quite easy to diagnosis just by looking, it has a very classical distinct pattern.
Either way, you really do need to get checked out yourself, as you would get a positive blood-test if you were exposed a month ago. And yes, herpes is forever, but often breakouts can be controlled/prevented with the right anti-viral medication.
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