"I'm so lonely, broken angel
I'm so lonely, listen to my heart"
This thread is not for looking for sympathy. Just a bit sharing, and I know I'm not angel. Instead, I always call myself evil.
Why I take this job?
Well,
First. For myself.
I got my first job at an Asian shop. $100/ per day (~12 hours). Had to get up around 4am to get train at 5:10 and arrive shop at 6:20, then stand and serve customers all the time till 6:30 pm. Having 30 minutes for lunch break but no place to rest in shop so I have to walk around there or find somewhere to sit down. Normally I buy a loaf of bread for lunch as nothing else is cheaper. That’s it for nearly one month. My colleague, Amy, told me that for some personal issues, she was short of money so she couldn’t even afford 2 rolls of sushi but just a loaf of bread to eat for whole day, just like me.
Besides, I had no heater for winters 2014 &2015. And not even fan for summer 2015. Only take bus to school when I'm already late or weather is really bad. Rarely go for shopping. Spending big money just for family and friends, not for myself. 1/3 of my wardrobe is free clothes from cousin's cousins. Another 1/3 is secondhand from local market. And if they're new, they're from Kmart. Actually I still keep those habits: not shop much and buy clothes from Kmart (their kid clothes are quite nice, lol).
Then I got other jobs, better paid but still not enough until I become masseur. Better money, of course. now I can cover my school fee, spend a bit more for myself.
My English is better. Try to improve skills from conversations with clients. Life experiences is enriched as I've met various types of people. Having much experience in dealing with people.
Second, for family.
Growing up in the Asian culture, it's hard for me to be selfish, but not care about my family. Wish to be able to take care of myself and my family. When it's too late, money has no meaning - I learned that as my mom didn't have any chance to travel overseas and live for herself. so now I'm really happy that I can send money back to my father and ask him to spend on holidays and enjoy retirement time. Be happy that I can support my family partly. Be happy that I can save money for my own future and be independent. Hopefully I can be helpful to my partner ( if I can find him somewhere, lol).
Do I enjoy my job? Somehow yes, to be honest. Like my Dongseng, Caff said, somehow my social life is going on at workplaces. A breath of life. I feel lonely here. But hard to tell my family and friends that I'm tired. Don't want to make them worried so I always smile in front of them. Colleagues? Having a distance from them. Somehow it's easier to open up to strangers. So sometimes a nice talk, a nice care from client who shows his respect to my efforts, or a hug/ cuddle that make me feel better. I do enjoy his kindness. A simple talk"thankyou" is actually meaningful.
"I'm faded. So lost. The monsters running wild inside of me"
But it's hard job. It takes my energy and trust in life. Becoming doubtful a d scared of everything. And sensitive. Bad clients act like wild animals, and treat me like animal too. Have to choke anger back many times but keep smiling, even when they strangle or slap me. Or being abused by dirty talk. Some asked me if I like to be tied up and raped. One told me about his incestuous relationship with his best friend and sister in two hours. So hateful but still try to finish sessions nicely.
I think I'm coward. Many people are hungry for money but they choose normal/proper jobs. But I'm not strong enough to accept a difficult way to go through (actually this job is not easy to deal with and tiring too). I'm still preparing for my retirement day, when I have a proper job and a normal life. Be strong enough to get the first step of a long journey. And hope to find someone who not let me stay in shadow nor want sex from me only.
Anyway, no complaints. Obstacles are always there, and help me being stronger. I'll be okay. Cheers.
Interesting read, thanks for your honesty. Still shocked that some punters are rude and don't provide basic manners. You work in customer service, and we as punters are your customers. Yet it's okay to treat WL's and ML's like shit but turn around and be nice as pie to the bloke in the phone shop or the retail assistant working in Myer? In my view, same industry, and same rules apply: don't be a cunt and you'll get good service.
Also, White Knights incoming in 3....2.....1
Thanks for your sharing.
I think you are not different with others at all.
Everyone is looking for normal and stable life and everyone's life has up and down.
Hope you think there is a angel in your mind somewhere.
Cheers
Jesus. Hope you didn't see those same customers again.
Hi Babycat,
You are very brave and works hard for yourself and your family ! You have nothing to be ashamed of, you provide a service to the community and earn a living. Good on you !
You certainly are Not alone in this, while reading your personal journey I can't help but think back how many times I have heard or read about something very similar to your situations in the past decade of being active in the RnT industry .
There was a young lady called Jenny whom I only seen her a few times at 288 Wattle many years ago. At the time she was working in the Flemington market, she got paid $100 a day for a 10 hours shift , very tough hard work for a young lady who was very willing to work hard but I guess the situation was too overwhelming and the boss's taking advantage of a helpless overseas student at times were simply too much to take !
She jointed the massage industry in search of a better life and from her own words she was quite prepared to marry anyone who could look after her and her family back home and got her the residency ! Sounds all too familiar? Again, she is definitely not alone either, it's happening all over the place and probably happening right now as we speak .
C'est la vie ! That's life .
But I believe you are much stronger and smarter than that and probably have more options available to you now .
Good luck and stay positive sister ! Life can only get better .
Cheers
Thanks for sharing babycatstrive on and I'm sure you'll find something sooner or later!! Hugs and kisses from Sam
Good on you Babycat, thanks for the heartfelt confession.
I knew and I've heard similar stories before, but it still hurts hearing it. This is a tough industry, there are scumbacks around for sure, hope you can keep yourself out of harm's way...
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These sorts of people should be banned and word spread to all parlours. This is not a way to treat anyone.Originally Posted by Babycat
hit me in the feels reading this
ill be super nice to my regular next time i see her
One time when I denied to hang out with one client, he called me slut. I don't understand why he could say like that but state that he's a nice guy???
And maybe $20 is not a big money for some, but big money for me. I used to have only $60 in my pocket and that was the money for 2 weeks. Sandwiches all the time so I hate it now,
I believe that if I give kind things to people, I'll receive same things. That's why sometimes I feel pity for bad clients even they treat me badly as they don't understand that and their lives might not happy.
You should write a blog or a book or even your own website. $$$ to be made
Im so sad right now
All the best B-cat .
I need to meet you nd give you a big hug
From my perspective - based on the many regulars I've seen over the years, the key difference between Babycat and the others is her confidence in talking about it and her command of english... So you're basically a spokesperson for a great many wonderful young, hardworking women all around the world babycat - well done!.
And I'm not only talking about ML's or even women really. For example, go to any fruit farm on the east coast right now and you'll see many, many exploited foreign workers. The abuse comes in different forms, obviously but I'm sure the impact is similar. Some get stronger (babycat seemingly included) while others simply can't cope and subsequently are presented with even more limited options.
I remember one Taiwanese girl working at 121 CBD massage- her name is Miki, I think, told me that she hates grapefruit because she used to work in fruit farm with very low pay. The pay was actually not bad but her agent cheated her and got big commission. Now she can't eat grapes as it reminds her the difficult time.
Yo onni if you want to catch up please anytime PM me
This is your light at the end of the tunnel. I am sure most days are better than the bad ones. Chin up, stay grounded as you clearly are and focus on your end goal when times are tough. Keep doing the right thing and good things happen.
Should be "still try to finish sessions safely.." just be careful and remember that this is what you do and not who you are. Hopefully you meet more who are decent than those who are arseholes ... oh, as for Miki, a genuinely lovely girl and such a hard worker, glad to have met her myself
You are far from a coward Babycat. It takes more strength than most of the people here realise to do what you do and stay mentally and physically together. Even more courage to share here, and I for one have learnt plenty from your comments and insights. I think you would be a fascinating companion, and hopefully one day our paths will cross....
Thanks for sharing this out. It's actually good to share so in some ways you don't have to bottle up.
There's nothing wrong with your choice, but I don't think you need to be too nice to those who are rough and rude to you.
You're smart and as long as you plan for your future, eventually things should get much better.
Just had a stop in Darling harbour. Listened to my favourite song and enjoyed the scene. Feel peaceful. Thanks for all encouragement.
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