My Punting Story, falling in love with an ML

[liminal]

She was already qualified. But due to a string of bad decisions and bad luck couldn’t work legally here. She is also a massive scatterbrain in a lot of ways! It’s actually her best and worst quality. Best because it means she is in the moment and really easy to have fun with, worst as she tends to get herself into disastrous situations (one of the things that was difficult about being with her)

I’m still happy with the decision I made, I really don’t think it would’ve worked long term. But I wouldn’t change a moment, not even for all the pain, anxiety and sleepless nights ! Learnt a lot about life and love that year.

So she’s married to an Aussie guy , was qualified to do something and sounds like a qual recognised here , and now working in the finance industry , but back then with you she was illegal, but now she isn’t

She could can support herself as she is qualified and working , but she wanted a knight and someone to look after her .but in the end she took herself out of her depressing situation . Or did another guy or guys step in after you began to opt out ?

Nothing odd there , plenty of non working girls are no different . Seems like and given she is now non industry very real GF/partner possible ... as for relationships built on mutual lust attraction and sex at least at the beginning , it’s a rare few that ain’t


BTW . Whilst all this was happening with her , did you stop punting and only spend time with her and when did you stop paying for her time ?

[Basil22]

@Basil22
This is easily the best post I've read this year.
Can relate to most of what you said, esp. the part about dating the ML helped to strengthen relationship with your long term partner.

While the fact Yumi was a parlor worker made things harder, my impression is that it's not restricted to ML/WL. Let's say Yumi was simply a hottie (working in Finance or whatever) you met in the bar or at a party, and you fell for her. It's going to be the same thing. Once the initial excitement has worn off after a few months, reality sets in and major differences surface. I learned this lesson the hard way and wish I'd read posts like yours when I was in my 20s.

Thanks @annintofu I’m glad you enjoyed the read. Well, l learned the hard way too I guess, just had a partner who was still waiting for me on the other side. Any other girl and I’d probably be single!

I think that you’re probably right about the fact that her parlour days have less to do with the relationship not working than the cold hard fact of reality setting in... but still, having said that, the few MLS that I have gotten to know well, always seem to have a pretty chaotic life.. they’re not ‘easy’ people to be with.. or maybe I’m just attracted to the hard cases! 🤣

[PervySage]

@basil22, you mentioned therapist, without divulging too much; did you pause and reflect as something the therapist asked you to do and helped you through or is this something you did of your own Accord?

[Basil22]

@basil22, you mentioned therapist, without divulging too much; did you pause and reflect as something the therapist asked you to do and helped you through or is this something you did of your own Accord?

It was more of my own accord. I’m naturally an over thinker who analyses every situation quite deeply. And although I can be impulsive I always assess the impact of my actions afterwards. I also talked to a lot of people (not full details, more generally about relationships and what’s important) and came to my own conclusions. My father is on his 3rd marriage so I got some pretty good advice from him too. He doesn’t believe in romance anymore, but in compatibility and companionship. He views every decision in life from a risk assessment standpoint. Can sound cold in a way but I like the logical perspective. I’ve found sometimes it’s better not to get too emotional about things - pragmatism is always best!

Anyway, I don’t want to take after my dad and go through multiple marriages. Being with Yumi was a re-enactment of dad leaving mum, and then dad leaving his second wife (the second wife wasn’t industry but I’m pretty sure that’s how he met the third) ! Each time it’s ended badly for him and he never really learnt 🤣 now he’s with the worst of the lot but too old to be bothered to find another.. so he’s a gem of wisdom on the subject. I’m just hoping I have more self control and can keep my emotions at bay

Funny thing is that the Yumi experience brought dad and I closer together, we understand each other way better now, and our relationship has grown quite strong after being pretty much non existent for most of my life.

[Basil22]

BTW . Whilst all this was happening with her , did you stop punting and only spend time with her and when did you stop paying for her time ?

Actually no, I had only recently started punting and so I went pretty hard to be honest. I never paid for her time outside of the shop. Except when she stopped working as much I had to pay for a lot more of our activities, which was hard because I was in the process of starting up a business.
The hardest thing was that she couldn’t leave her husband until she got PR, which wasn’t looking like it was coming any quicker. The visa thing was a complete clusterfuck. I suspect if the visa could’ve been sorted then there would’ve been a bigger chance that things might’ve worked out between us.

[PervySage]

@Basil22 thanks for response.

Once again very insightful for someone of a young age and also gone through this experience you have done well to come out of it well balanced.

[Basil22]

@Basil22 thanks for response.

Once again very insightful for someone of a young age and also gone through this experience you have done well to come out of it well balanced.

Thanks @PervySage. But it was a long and tortuous road to get to this point! Also I simplify things a little here to avoid writing essays each time. But yes, things could’ve ended up much differently (worse?) I suppose.

Even after all of my experience, I still find it difficult not to get attached to MLs (one in particular). I think I saw in one of the threads someone saying they have a 5-session rule. I think that’s a good policy, also not to exchange contact details.

[asiafever]

Thanks @PervySage. But it was a long and tortuous road to get to this point! Also I simplify things a little here to avoid writing essays each time. But yes, things could’ve ended up much differently (worse?) I suppose.

Even after all of my experience, I still find it difficult not to get attached to MLs (one in particular). I think I saw in one of the threads someone saying they have a 5-session rule. I think that’s a good policy, also not to exchange contact details.

After a few disasters I have a similar rule. If I see a girl more than 3 times she has to be pretty damned special, and that came about as a result of going down in flames 3 times... I am a slow learner...
I get what you're saying about not changing a thing despite all the anxiety etc suffered as a result, I guess that is the real meaning of life, to experience all the range of emotions and so on. Of my 3 dalliances I am still in regular contact with one girl, who even 10 years later I wonder if she is the one who got away. Could all of this have been avoided if I just kept things professional? Absolutely, but I often remind myself of a line from an old poem "Oh all sad words, from tongue or pen, the saddest by far, "it might have been..."".
There is a lat of cynicism towards relationships with working girls, and 99.9% of it is probably warranted, but when you find maybe that 0.1%...

[liminal]

Please not forget there’s equal disdain cynicism and dislike of punters by said working girls... and rightfully so.

why would any of the users of this forum including myself be any different from the great unwashed

[asiafever]

Please not forget there’s equal disdain cynicism and dislike of punters by said working girls... and rightfully so.

why would any of the users of this forum including myself be any different from the great unwashed

100%. I always ask myself "Why would you be any different? What makes you so special?"

[Basil22]

After a few disasters I have a similar rule. If I see a girl more than 3 times she has to be pretty damned special, and that came about as a result of going down in flames 3 times... I am a slow learner...

Happens to the best of us. It's called being human. My dad says that women are soft on the outside and hard on the inside, while men are hard on the outside and soft on the inside. I tend to agree

[gannicus]

Share a weried and funny story, I met a young and cute ML, she asked if I was a professional and then from the beginning she kept asking me about her career and profeesional related questions, while she was giving me a hj I was explaining to her the pros and cons of being a sales, admin or accountant......

She added my wechat and today we had a quick cafe catchup together. To further discuss about her career, I gave her a few advices and my experience....and promised to recommend her if any suitable job postion shows up. She's the most self-motivated ML I've ever met....I don't know if I should go back to see her again for massage....feels like just a business meeting with a client and I am the one doing all the taking and answering questions.

[PervySage]

...feels like just a business meeting with a client and I am the one doing all the taking and answering questions.

Some MLs are really driven, met a few who are very intelligent so don’t underestimate a ML / WL.

I don’t mind sharing knowledge but try to avoid talking specifically about my job.

[CunningLinguist]

Share a weried and funny story, I met a young and cute ML, she asked if I was a professional and then from the beginning she kept asking me about her career and profeesional related questions, while she was giving me a hj I was explaining to her the pros and cons of being a sales, admin or accountant......

She added my wechat and today we had a quick cafe catchup together. To further discuss about her career, I gave her a few advices and my experience....and promised to recommend her if any suitable job postion shows up. She's the most self-motivated ML I've ever met....I don't know if I should go back to see her again for massage....feels like just a business meeting with a client and I am the one doing all the taking and answering questions.

Give her a job at your workplace

[b00bs]

....feels like just a business meeting with a client and I am the one doing all the taking and answering questions.

might wanna charge her a consultation fee then

[PervySage]

The only honest thing I know about her is that she LIED about 95% of everything

NEVER EVER FALL IN LOVE WITH A WL

Not sure if u are taking the piss here with all of these stories about ML / WL...

but if u r serious the only thing surprising is that you think she was only lying 95% of the time.

[bigfatkilo]

Great story, sounds like my experience a little

Fell in love with WL
Help, support & protect her always
She played me well, made me trust her
And made me believe I was special in her life
Not a punter/customer, but a special friend
& BBFS CIP ALL the time, I was hooked

Told me she ONLY meets me outside of her work...A LIE

Told me how much she hates a lot of her customers especially customers who are HIGH in drugs, too much hard work...4 hour hand jobs & blow jobs for a soft cock she HATES

Told me that no customers knows where she lives...A LIE

Told me that she is super shy with me...A LIE

The only honest thing I know about her is that she LIED about 95% of everything

NEVER EVER FALL IN LOVE WITH A WL

This is the normal narrative of things.

Whilst it is nice to hear basil22 story... the fact of the matter is, from the very start, it was based on sex, money, transactions etc. Doesn't mean it isn't genuine or real, but the fact is,
a) you were there for sex, happy to cheat yourself also.
b) she is able to put money above all else (not judging her btw), but fact is, where theres more money, theres opportunity.

they all lie, they all cheat, they all know how to manipulate men.
we too, we men, also lie, cheat and manipulate them and the situation for our on goals.

it might be genuine, feel good, be safe, be mutual, but remember always, it is a transaction (both short and long term). Translations have conditions, trust issues, jealous, they aren't unique, hav an expiry date, and most of all, have power (supply demand) imbalances
Im talking about the definition of transactions generally, eg business, same thing is happening with WL ml relationships
Cynical yes
True, matter of opinion
Have I been burnt and hurt ? Yes
Solution= compartmentalize and separate. And be pragmatic as possible

[richamalhotra12]

I have came close to liking a ML but didn't fall in love with her.
She was very nice and young girl. Beautiful

[krnboy]

This is the normal narrative of things.

Whilst it is nice to hear basil22 story... the fact of the matter is, from the very start, it was based on sex, money, transactions etc. Doesn't mean it isn't genuine or real, but the fact is,
a) you were there for sex, happy to cheat yourself also.
b) she is able to put money above all else (not judging her btw), but fact is, where theres more money, theres opportunity.

they all lie, they all cheat, they all know how to manipulate men.
we too, we men, also lie, cheat and manipulate them and the situation for our on goals.

it might be genuine, feel good, be safe, be mutual, but remember always, it is a transaction (both short and long term). Translations have conditions, trust issues, jealous, they aren't unique, hav an expiry date, and most of all, have power (supply demand) imbalances
Im talking about the definition of transactions generally, eg business, same thing is happening with WL ml relationships
Cynical yes
True, matter of opinion
Have I been burnt and hurt ? Yes
Solution= compartmentalize and separate. And be pragmatic as possible

Some people realise with their real eyes know that they're real lies...

Glad you did