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Thread: Close shave today...

  1. #1
    Super Fans (忠實Fans) Nelly69's Avatar
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    Close shave today...

    So I had a close shave today, I am driving to 42G (42 Buffalo Road Gladesville) as the destination on the Apple car play with my (new) gf in the passenger seat. As I turned onto buffalo road and I could see 42G within my sight and my vision started to blur, I was ready to crash the car just so I don’t have to answer the inevitable question… why the F**K is 42G in your GPS history???

    Earlier in the day, my new lovely girlfriend asked if I can drive her to the dealer as her car was in for a service, without asking for any details I said sure, I’ll pick you up at 3pm. I arrived at her place, she gets in and I asked where are we going? She said its near Ryde, I proceed to drive off and she said I’ll put in the address on the GPS. She unlocks my phone and launches google maps and proceed to type in Buffalo Road, and said “oh its in here”. I thought nothing of it at first, until I saw the route information on my dash.

    FUCK!!!!! 42 BUFFALO ROAD GLADESVILLE!!! MY EYES POPPED OUT OF THE SOCKET and the only thing hiding it was my sunnies. I was just there last week and she found the address in my history. My mind is now racing and I am thinking how can this happen to me again??? (I got caught by my ex-in-law walking out of a FS joint).

    I am fuckin fried, I need to be smart about this! So I played it cool and asked, I thought you said Ryde? To which she replied, yeah sorry I meant Gladesville. I proceeded to drive to what seemed like an eternity! I must have tried to take every back street to try and blame google maps for bad direction so I can switch GPS systems.

    Eventually as I turned into Buffalo Road, I could see 42G in the distance, I am frantically trying to remember the business below 42G, I vaguely recall mechanic or smash repair so I can say “I had a car repair here”. But My car is brand new and she knows its never been repaired and I used to live in the east so would have never come here to get my car repaired. I thought about blaming her for the wrong address but it was in my history. I am racing through all these excuses in my head and I honestly want to either take the phone out of her hand and say some shit or honestly crash into a pole so the GPS doesn’t shout “you have arrived at your destination”

    Just as I was about to do something stupid, she yells “oh we are here” I looked up and I can see the Mazda sign (I’ve never noticed now beautiful the Mazda logo is) the location was 54 Buffalo road! I quickly pulled into the carpark as I see 42G disappear from the corner of my eyes, ripped the cord off my phone and turned off my car to remove any chance of the car saying, “your destination is 20 meters on your right”

    She popped out to go in the dealership and I said I’ll wait in the car. With my sweaty hands, I thanked the punting gods for letting me get away with this one! As I drove out of the dealership, my gf turned left in her car to go home and I turned right so I can drive pass 42G and give it salute “I’ll see you soon”

    Luckily I was going to book Karen today but she finished at 1pm, had that happened, that would have been in my today’s history. haha

    Moral of the story? Don’t use your regular GPS to find punting joints, cover your tracks and don’t let your gf use your phone. I will be using Waze for future punting adventures.

  2. #2
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    You can go incognito mode in google maps. Make sure she doesn't see your Google timeline which is inside the google maps app. This has all the places you visited and also the time of visit even if you didn't use google maps

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    I never search using the exact address in my GPS, neither do I search the exact address in Google. Smartass Google remember everything.

    I seldom need to use GPS as I only go to a few shops and so familiar with. If I do, I will use the address nearby. E.g. 42G I will search 38G or 44G etc. or further down the road.

  4. #4
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    Luckly Google map didn't say you have arrived at 42 Nightingales Brothel.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nelly69 View Post
    She unlocks my phone
    Biggest mistake right there. Handing your phone and unlock code to your "new" GF.

  6. #6
    Super Fans (忠實Fans) Nelly69's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by booty_duty View Post
    Biggest mistake right there. Handing your phone and unlock code to your "new" GF.
    haha, yes, there are times I think faceID sucks. but I am not stupid enough to give her my code.

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    Google remembers everything!

    Isn't it just easier to have no GF? We would all love to hear the story of how you got caught the first time. lol

  8. #8
    99 God Member (神級會員) AHLUNGOR's Avatar
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    Sounds like you are not fucking your gf yet? Or not getting enough ??

  9. #9
    Super Fans (忠實Fans) Nelly69's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AHLUNGOR View Post
    Sounds like you are not fucking your gf yet? Or not getting enough ??
    I really like eating steaks, so much so I would eat it everyday, cook it different ways and explore different cuts. But after a while, when you have too much of a good thing, you start craving for simple things like sushi, kimchi, or pad thai...

    I have good meat at home but I do like dining out once in a while, well at least until I get married again. haha

  10. #10
    99 Premium Member (特級會員) Raybo's Avatar
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    can't you have different Google accounts, not sure about Apple? Just log on to each when you are in punt mode, when you are in normal mode, when you are in girlfriend mode? I think it works for me, though one day i will forget at the wrong time.

    BTW, great story, even if you don't think so!

  11. #11
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    The whole problem is that we have a modern gadget in the palm of our hand that can expose us. Our mobile phone!

  12. #12
    Super Fans (忠實Fans) Nelly69's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raybo View Post
    can't you have different Google accounts, not sure about Apple? Just log on to each when you are in punt mode, when you are in normal mode, when you are in girlfriend mode? I think it works for me, though one day i will forget at the wrong time.

    BTW, great story, even if you don't think so!
    haha, punt mode! I wish Apple will think of that

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by holi_day View Post
    I never search using the exact address in my GPS, neither do I search the exact address in Google. Smartass Google remember everything.

    I seldom need to use GPS as I only go to a few shops and so familiar with. If I do, I will use the address nearby. E.g. 42G I will search 38G or 44G etc. or further down the road.
    haha this! I always do that too, and even then i clear it from history after haha

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nelly69 View Post
    I really like eating steaks, so much so I would eat it everyday, cook it different ways and explore different cuts. But after a while, when you have too much of a good thing, you start craving for simple things like sushi, kimchi, or pad thai...

    I have good meat at home but I do like dining out once in a while, well at least until I get married again. haha
    Are you talking about food or pussy?

    Steak is in reference to black pussy. Brown on the outside, pink on the inside.

    Then sushi, kimchi and pad thai are obvious references

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    Quote Originally Posted by AHLUNGOR View Post
    Sounds like you are not fucking your gf yet? Or not getting enough ??
    What do u mean by that

  16. #16
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    Rule #1. Never navigate to exact address. Ever. Buffalo Rd Gladesville, King st St Mary's, Hampden rd Artarmon etc. From there you should be able to work it out.
    2. Switch off location once you have figured it out.
    3. Delete trip from history if it's not somewhere you would go for any other reason.
    4. Never answer a question that hasn't been asked. No need to offer an excuse if you weren't queried in the first place.
    5. Be prepared. If on the off chance the other measures have not worked, have a mate who can be blamed. "Oh Markus was looking some shit up on my phone." or "Yeah Bernard needed a lift, his car was getting repaired somewhere there." The friends should be people that your other half is acquainted with but they should not be your best mates, why? Because if your other half sees them infrequently chances of the whole thing unravelling are reduced.
    It's also good to appear to have a strong opinion on the sex industry that aligns with theirs and have vocalised it previously if the topic has arisen, "Seriously? Those germ infested hellholes? You honestly think I would participate in such detestable activities? Never mind betray your trust and put you at risk of diseases just for a cheap thrill? I find the idea abhorrent, how dare you sully my good name with such slanderous filth!" (Ok probably going a bit far on that one but you get the idea. If she however on the off chance is not against the industry and is quite open minded about the whole thing, adapt this step accordingly.)
    Personally I don't punt when in a relationship (the dying days of my marriage excluded). Each to their own on that one.

  17. #17
    Super Fans (忠實Fans) Nelly69's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tpol View Post
    Are you talking about food or pussy?

    Steak is in reference to black pussy. Brown on the outside, pink on the inside.

    Then sushi, kimchi and pad thai are obvious references
    haha, its my anaology for AHLUNGOR that I am getting some but also likes to dine out. LMAO about steak reference, didn't know that. haha

  18. #18
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    Use a different map app! Though I suppose if you hook it up via apple carplay that might be no bueno...

  19. #19
    Super Fans (忠實Fans) Nelly69's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by asiafever View Post
    Rule #1. Never navigate to exact address. Ever. Buffalo Rd Gladesville, King st St Mary's, Hampden rd Artarmon etc. From there you should be able to work it out.
    2. Switch off location once you have figured it out.
    3. Delete trip from history if it's not somewhere you would go for any other reason.
    4. Never answer a question that hasn't been asked. No need to offer an excuse if you weren't queried in the first place.
    5. Be prepared. If on the off chance the other measures have not worked, have a mate who can be blamed. "Oh Markus was looking some shit up on my phone." or "Yeah Bernard needed a lift, his car was getting repaired somewhere there." The friends should be people that your other half is acquainted with but they should not be your best mates, why? Because if your other half sees them infrequently chances of the whole thing unravelling are reduced.
    It's also good to appear to have a strong opinion on the sex industry that aligns with theirs and have vocalised it previously if the topic has arisen, "Seriously? Those germ infested hellholes? You honestly think I would participate in such detestable activities? Never mind betray your trust and put you at risk of diseases just for a cheap thrill? I find the idea abhorrent, how dare you sully my good name with such slanderous filth!" (Ok probably going a bit far on that one but you get the idea. If she however on the off chance is not against the industry and is quite open minded about the whole thing, adapt this step accordingly.)
    Personally I don't punt when in a relationship (the dying days of my marriage excluded). Each to their own on that one.
    haha, thanks Asiafever, good advice. sometimes when I go punting, its a last minute thing to satisfy my primal urge so my brain goes to primal stupid mode and don't think about stuff like these. I used to say exactly the same thing about the sex industry "Those filthy germ infested whore house" "I would never walk inside one, never mind being touched by someone who just had sex with another guy, disgusting" until I walked out one day and see my ex-in-law who inturn takes a photo and show my ex-wife who never touched me again because I am totally germ infested...

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nelly69 View Post
    haha, thanks Asiafever, good advice. sometimes when I go punting, its a last minute thing to satisfy my primal urge so my brain goes to primal stupid mode and don't think about stuff like these. I used to say exactly the same thing about the sex industry "Those filthy germ infested whore house" "I would never walk inside one, never mind being touched by someone who just had sex with another guy, disgusting" until I walked out one day and see my ex-in-law who inturn takes a photo and show my ex-wife who never touched me again because I am totally germ infested...
    My ex tried to test me once.
    My birthday was approaching and she said "You know, I was thinking for your birthday, why don't we hire an escort, a really sexy blonde with big tits, hire a hotel room and have a threesome for the night."
    Before I could blurt out "fuck Yeah!" My spidey senses had kicked in. My ex HATED the idea of escorts and was a rather jealous person. She had made both of those crystal clear previously. I calmly said "I'm only interested in you sweetie, besides who knows where she has been!"
    "GOOD! If you said yes you were in DEEP shit!"

    Never marry a lawyer with a black belt...

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