Squirters

[kg2301]

True story and I’m going to dob myself in. I could put this under so many threads but while we’re on the subject. Be patient the squirting part is right at the end. An ML I visited for the first time gives me a hj and as expected I explode. Nah she’s not done, she tells me lay down and continues to Jack me off at a frantic pace. I’ve never done this before so let’s see where it goes. Well as you Probably know this can be excruciatingly painful after you’re done. I’m fucking swaying about on the table and swearing, I can’t do this, she’s laughing and telling me to relax and shut up. The pain starts to mix with pleasure again and after about 3 minutes that wave builds and bang I go off again, a small amount of blow dribbles out. I’m fucked I’m done I’m spent I’m laughing and she still keeps going I’m sure she’s trying to rip my cock off now. By now I’m focussed on the feeling of the uncomfortable pain and looking at her saying what the fuck are you doing to me? Where did you come from? I’m just curious as to why she’s insisting on still jerking me off smiling, who does this? I can’t possibly cum a 3rd time in a row. I’m in my 40s I’ve never seen or thought this was possible, I’ve come this far so let’s keep going, I was sure my cock would never fire a bullet again. Another few minutes passes and bang I go off again, no cum comes just the feeling like you are.
Anyway the next time I see her we fuck and sure enough she hops off and says let’s see how strong you are today. Again painful and spent from blowing a massive first load I lay there gritting my teeth giving her death stares while she looks at me with that evil smile saying what’s wrong? Sure enough after a few minutes that wave of cumming appears out of knowhere and bang what a relief there goes number 2. I’m going off like a water cannon, wow what shot I’m thinking. I get off the table, Shes laughing hysterically, I’m walking around saying fuck me fuck you oh shit omg etc. She says you made a big mess, no shit I say, you’re killing me. I look at the table it’s soaked and I say what happened? You peed everywhere she says. Im standing there in shock looking at the wet table and feeling liquid run down my legs, now laughing. Oh you made a big mess, what have you done, what am I going to say to the boss she says just smiling and looking at me at those evil eyes. Off goes the paper towel then the sheet then we’re down to the cover, all just fucking soaked. I ask do other guys do this and she replies yeah I’ve got about 5 guys I do this to. You’re crazy I say but I love crazy. See you next time sweetheart I look forward to what else you can show me. Cleaned up and had a chat to the boss on the way out. He asks how was that? Interesting I say she’s a crazy girl that one I’ll be back in a couple of weeks after the dust settles (we’ll I couldn’t say when the piss dries).

Woww... thats hot. Where is this? I'd love to meet her

[mobo]

I seriously doubt that is a true story.

[Lockie]

I seriously doubt that is a true story.

Admittedly, it was funny though

[B J Hunter]

Admittedly, it was funny though

Yes I knew there would sceptics out there calling BS. I seriously couldn’t Even imagine such a scenario to make that shit up. Jesus guys I even pissed on myself, who outs themselves doing that. Ok I get that cumming 3 times sounds ridiculous but as I said shot 2 was merely a dribble and shot 3 was like blowing air nothing came out but the feeling of cumming each time was there. On visits 2 and 3 with this ML it didn’t happen, she tried but I didn’t even get close to a 2nd shot mainly because she insisted on invading my anus with what I can describe as a shiny silver replica model of Apollo 11. This definitely confirmed my suspicions that my arse is for one way traffic only -shit out- and that you absolutely won’t ever find me parading at Mardi Gras. I told her I’m just your regular guy who likes to eat pussy, get a blow job and fuck is that too much too ask for.
Look I find the story as funny as fuck, I’ve been dying to get it off my chest, it’s not like I could sit around with the boys at the pub and say hey fellas guess what happened to me (again) today... A bit of a deviation from the usual AR’s about making girls cum 8 times before getting out an 8 inch cock and fucking for 59 mins of a 60 min session. Believable no, I get it, I’ve never read anything like it on this forum either. So there you go boys and girls you can decide for yourself and have a chuckle. Too good a tale to take to take to the grave without sharing with my fellow punters. Hope you have a good chuckle with it anyway and watch out for MLs with 1 forearm way bigger than the other!!!

[Raybo]

Yeah, piss funny story!

I was going to chime in and ask why a guy who has been on here for 4 days is questioning a story like this which couldn't possibly be made up!

[God Member]

That whole room must have stunk like a wino's mattress after you got through pissing the bed. Why did you do that?

[rooter]

God, nature, evolution, random life ... whatever you want to call it has a weird sense of humour to make men's cock hole be the same hole piss and cum come out of.
It's a complex physiology, biochemistry, psychology, neurology etc. Sometimes it's bound to go wrong. I am surprised it doesn't happen more often.
With women the vagina and the urethra are totally separate holes, which totally makes sense.
But even then there is still dispute as to whether the girls are pissing or cumming.
In most squirting pornos you see where the girls squirt 2 metres distance the girls are definitely just pissing.
And some girls when they get horny and fingered and fucked just lose control of their bladder and piss. But some girls actually do squirt. I have seen smelt and tasted it and it is not piss. What the fuck it is and where this juice is stored is still a mystery.
Basically medicine for the last 5,000 years has been by men for men. The clitoris was only fully mapped around 20 years ago. Even gynecologists are still pretty clueless about womens bits, so what chance do us mug punters have .
We just finger, lick, poke, rub etc and hope for the best

[God Member]

We might use the same cock opening for both purposes Rooter, but has any bloke in the known universe to date not known the difference between coming and pissing? Just for a start, pissing goes on for a lot longer.

When I first read it I thought she was the one squirting from the 'excitment' of jacking him off. But now it appears he's just pissed himself for 30 seconds or so. That doesn't sound like a funny story. It just sounds inexplicable. Who would want to deliberately stink out a massage bed and room like that?

Might be just me, but I hate the smell of piss, as a kid I always disgusted by having to go in a stinking men's public toilet. These days with auto flushing it isn't as bad as it used to be.

[B J Hunter]

We might use the same cock opening for both purposes Rooter, but has any bloke in the known universe to date not known the difference between coming and pissing? Just for a start, pissing goes on for a lot longer.

When I first read it I thought she was the one squirting from the 'excitment' of jacking him off. But now it appears he's just pissed himself for 30 seconds or so. That doesn't sound like a funny story. It just sounds inexplicable. Who would want to deliberately stink out a massage bed and room like that?

Might be just me, but I hate the smell of piss, as a kid I always disgusted by having to go in a stinking men's public toilet. These days with auto flushing it isn't as bad as it used to be.

2 things I can clear up...
It wasn’t like I was laying there thinking fuck I’m busting for a piss.
When it got to the point of cumming it felt exactly like that, not that I was going to shoot like a fountain.
And when I did shoot it wasn’t a friggin full on 3 schooner piss at the trough, it was just one quick burst. I didn’t flood the place for fuck sake there was no mop and bucket required. As I said never experienced that but the ML said to me... I’m not the only one who’s done that!

[rooter]

2 things I can clear up...
It wasn’t like I was laying there thinking fuck I’m busting for a piss.
When it got to the point of cumming it felt exactly like that, not that I was going to shoot like a fountain.
And when I did shoot it wasn’t a friggin full on 3 schooner piss at the trough, it was just one quick burst. I didn’t flood the place for fuck sake there was no mop and bucket required. As I said never experienced that but the ML said to me... I’m not the only one who’s done that!

Its cool bro.
Like I said, its the same hole. Its an engineering nightmare. Things can go wrong. It's the bladder, its the prostate, its the glans, its the brain. its the nerve endings, its hormones, its blood sugar, it's the vibe, ts all sorts of shit.

[God Member]

She says you made a big mess, I look at the table it’s soaked and I say what happened? You peed everywhere she says. Im standing there in shock looking at the wet table and feeling liquid run down my legs, now laughing. Oh you made a big mess, what have you done. Off goes the paper towel then the sheet then we’re down to the cover, all just fucking soaked..

Well I was going off your own words, and hers, about how much pissing you actually did. For the rest of the day the room would have smelt like a dementia ward.

But if it was accidental it was accidental. A strange occurence that is for sure.

Thank you for sharing the story.

[aussiegaigin]

I had a session with an MILF ML a couple of weeks back. After the massage I turned over and she gets down for a BJ. I ran my hand up between her legs and started playing with her clit. She got very wet very quickly (unusual at that age), and when she'd finished me she is grabbing tissues and mopping up puddles on the floor. Quite hilarious at the time.

[tpol]

Its cool bro.
Like I said, its the same hole. Its an engineering nightmare. Things can go wrong. It's the bladder, its the prostate, its the glans, its the brain. its the nerve endings, its hormones, its blood sugar, it's the vibe, ts all sorts of shit.

Imagine chickens. Sex,poop,pee,lay eggs,same hole

[Macbeth_oz]

This story is as funny as. I am nearly pissing myself lol

[B J Hunter]

Update: I haven’t been back to see her again yet but I have shown my face at the venue. However she does still take the piss outta me when we catch up on wechat. Definitely no fragrance left in the room, I can confirm.

[GoldfishMan]

True story and I’m going to dob myself in. I could put this under so many threads but while we’re on the subject. Be patient the squirting part is right at the end. An ML I visited for the first time gives me a hj and as expected I explode. Nah she’s not done, she tells me lay down and continues to Jack me off at a frantic pace. I’ve never done this before so let’s see where it goes. Well as you Probably know this can be excruciatingly painful after you’re done. I’m fucking swaying about on the table and swearing, I can’t do this, she’s laughing and telling me to relax and shut up. The pain starts to mix with pleasure again and after about 3 minutes that wave builds and bang I go off again, a small amount of blow dribbles out. I’m fucked I’m done I’m spent I’m laughing and she still keeps going I’m sure she’s trying to rip my cock off now. By now I’m focussed on the feeling of the uncomfortable pain and looking at her saying what the fuck are you doing to me? Where did you come from? I’m just curious as to why she’s insisting on still jerking me off smiling, who does this? I can’t possibly cum a 3rd time in a row. I’m in my 40s I’ve never seen or thought this was possible, I’ve come this far so let’s keep going, I was sure my cock would never fire a bullet again. Another few minutes passes and bang I go off again, no cum comes just the feeling like you are.
Anyway the next time I see her we fuck and sure enough she hops off and says let’s see how strong you are today. Again painful and spent from blowing a massive first load I lay there gritting my teeth giving her death stares while she looks at me with that evil smile saying what’s wrong? Sure enough after a few minutes that wave of cumming appears out of knowhere and bang what a relief there goes number 2. I’m going off like a water cannon, wow what shot I’m thinking. I get off the table, Shes laughing hysterically, I’m walking around saying fuck me fuck you oh shit omg etc. She says you made a big mess, no shit I say, you’re killing me. I look at the table it’s soaked and I say what happened? You peed everywhere she says. Im standing there in shock looking at the wet table and feeling liquid run down my legs, now laughing. Oh you made a big mess, what have you done, what am I going to say to the boss she says just smiling and looking at me at those evil eyes. Off goes the paper towel then the sheet then we’re down to the cover, all just fucking soaked. I ask do other guys do this and she replies yeah I’ve got about 5 guys I do this to. You’re crazy I say but I love crazy. See you next time sweetheart I look forward to what else you can show me. Cleaned up and had a chat to the boss on the way out. He asks how was that? Interesting I say she’s a crazy girl that one I’ll be back in a couple of weeks after the dust settles (we’ll I couldn’t say when the piss dries).

Hahahhaha, that's funny dude. The description of your toe curling pain was so real, hahahha, sorry to sound like a sadist.

[Funland]

Great story, thanks.

[DirtyLurker]

Interesting read mate. Hope it never happens to em though

[CFM001]

Haha exactly. Which is why you'll need to tell me where this place is so that I can avoid it......

[Xxzzxx]

funny story lol